I hung up as quickly as possible and shot off a text to Harley. Like she wasn’t some strange blind date from last night—like she was a girl I could actually see myself dating.
Damn it, Kins.
Karma was kissing my ass.
Jax: Gotta go build some muscle since someone said I wasn’t big enough. FYI, some of us make up for our lack of muscle in other areas, just saying.
Harley: Go get em, QB. PS, I’m well aware of that fact. Your uniforms are freakishly tight. Either football turns you on or you’re packing. I saw front and back. Grandpa pressed pause. We’re very dedicated . . . fans.
I laughed.
Hard.
Then stopped.
Because I suddenly realized it had been a long time since a laugh that real had passed my lips.
Chapter Nine
KINSEY
I woke up clinging to Miller like a second skin. The guy slept like the dead, which gave me the perfect opportunity to crawl away. The minute I made a decision to move, his arm shot out and tugged me against him, I was the small spoon to his big spoon. Why did his spoon have to be so warm?
I tried to fight it.
Not very hard.
But it’s the effort that counts, right?
We’d slept another hour in each other’s arms, and when my phone went off for the third time with Emerson’s name on the screen, the moment was shattered.
I grabbed my phone, he grabbed his.
No words were exchanged, but I still felt the heat from his body and wanted nothing more than to shut out the world, to forget about all the promises of friendship and just ask him to hold me. Sometimes that’s all a girl needs, a good holding, a hug, a touch.
I quickly called Emerson back. Apparently, she and Sanchez were going down to the practice stadium to work out.
“I’ll make protein shakes, if you want to get ready really quick.” Miller stood and started making himself at home in the kitchen.
And I had it.
Those horrible visions of what life would be like if everything was exactly like what it seemed.
Miller in the kitchen, shirtless, rummaging around the cupboards after having the best sleep of his life in my arms.
And me, getting ready, putting my toothbrush next to his and asking him if he can stop at the store for tampons.
Get a grip, Kins!
“Uh . . .” I scratched my head, did a circle, and put the blanket back on the couch. “Yeah, sure.”
“We can all work out, I’ll call Jax.” Miller wasn’t looking at me.
Rude!
I crossed my arms and then briefly remembered getting hot in the middle of the night, and taking off my . . . bra.
Braless.
Hello, headlights.
“Trying to be a gentleman here, Kins, but when you cross your arms it just makes it worse for me. Maybe you gained weight in your tits too, because I do not remember them looking that damn edible.” He leaned his massive body against the counter and finally looked at me. His slow perusal was enough to make my entire body shake with need. “Yeah, you need to put on some clothes . . . friend.”
“Says the shirtless football player.” I arched my eyebrows.
He took two steps toward me. “Don’t make me carry you.”
“That desperate to get some clothes on me?”
“So I don’t rip them off you? Yeah, pretty much.” One more step and a heave, and I was getting carried like a sack of potatoes all the way down the hall and into my bedroom. I was too stunned to fight back. He set me on my feet, turned around, and walked away.
“Thanks for the ride!” I called after him.
Miller poked his head around the corner scaring the crap out of me. “That wasn’t a ride and you know it, Kins. You’re familiar with the kind of rides I give, and when this whole friendship thing goes to hell and you actually ask me to kiss you—to touch you—you’re going to need to buckle up, sweetheart, because it’s going to be rough.”
“Funny, I remember smooth.”
“Poking the bear, friend.”
I was breathing way too hard for a girl who was standing still. “Maybe I like to poke.”
He groaned and banged his head against the side of the wall before walking off and yelling, “You have ten minutes.”
I scowled and managed to take a much-needed inhalation of oxygen before I quickly changed into my workout clothes. A wave of dizziness washed over me, just brief enough to force me to grab ahold of the door before grabbing my practice bag.
And with that dizziness—fear.
It was debilitating.
You’re being ridiculous. You’re healthy. You’re fine.
I closed my eyes and shut out the world, then focused on the one thing that wasn’t a reminder of my past—of what my dad was going through—of what he was battling.
Miller.
My eyes snapped open.
Why did I see him?
Funny, since Jax was the one who taught me how to meditate, to take control of my thoughts before they took control of me. And it was always Jax’s voice that brought me to that place of peace, where nothing could touch me, where I simply lived.
I gulped.
Instead, it was Miller’s raspy voice, his full lips, that beckoning smile, that forced my fear to dissipate.
“Kins!” Miller barked. “You ready?”
“Yeah.” I placed a hand on my chest and gave my head a shake. “Sure, coming.”
He grumbled something about Jax having the patience of a saint with me, and by the time I joined him in the kitchen, he’d somehow already changed and made two protein shakes. He tossed me a bottle full of some green-looking crap that made me gag before I even smelled it.
With a grin, he grabbed his keys. “Don’t knock it until you try it.”
“What is this?” I shook the bottle and cringed, the green sludge didn’t even move! I’d need a spoon! “Poison?”
“Kins.” Miller opened the door for me. “Do you really think I’d poison you before tasting you again? Not so smart on my part. Then you’d probably haunt me whenever I was trying to get laid and completely ruin every single future orgasm.”
I swept past him. “So basically I don’t need to watch my back until after you’ve had a little snack?”
“Eh.” He grabbed my bag out of my hand and pressed the elevator button. “I’d say more like a feast.”
My ears burned. “Sorry, friend, restaurant’s closed.” I clenched my legs to prove it, and noticed Miller give me a once-over, his lips quirked like he knew what he was doing to me.
“We’ll see.”
“What happened to last night? Our conversation about being friends?”
“Selective memory loss.” He ushered me into the elevator; his large hand took up half my back, at least it felt like it.
I shrugged away from his touch and plastered myself against the far wall. “Well, good thing I still remember the conversation.”
A grunt was his only answer.
Another wave of dizziness hit me.
I gripped the railing.
And suddenly Miller was in front of me, his hands on my face, his eyes crazed. “What the hell was that?”
I straightened. “Huh? What?”
He wasn’t buying it, his lips pressed into a firm line. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You stumbled like you were going to pass out.”
I faked a smile I didn’t feel and shrugged. “I’m tired, I shared a couch with a behemoth last night and nearly got suffocated.”
“Bullshit.” He pressed his hands on either side of my body, pinning me against the wall. “You slept fine, want to know how I know?”
Probably not. I gulped. And shook my head.
“Tough shit.” The elevator stopped. He didn’t budge. “I know you, Kins. I know your skin, I know your smell, I’m acutely aware of every movement you make, even in your sleep, I saw you take off your bra, I felt you press that tight ass against me when you thought I was asleep—I know you. An
d this, this isn’t you . . . so I’m going to ask again. What’s up?”
I was too stunned to answer.
Thankfully, the doors opened and people started piling in.
“This isn’t over,” he murmured, grabbing my hand and leading us out of the elevator into the apartment lobby.
I was saved by the curious stares of people around us, and when we made it into the adjacent parking garage, I knew it was only a matter of time before he found out.
Not because I was going to say anything.
But because he knew me.
He saw everything.
And if I kept getting dizzy like that, he was either going to beat it out of Jax, or just force me to go to the doctor.
Not that it mattered.
I was healthy.
Totally fine.
My dad, on the other hand . . .
It was Thursday. I could see him tomorrow.
I clung to that promise like dear life.
Everything was going to be okay, I just needed to force myself to believe that.
Chapter Ten
MILLER
“He’s literally been on his phone for the past half hour.” Sanchez nodded his head in Jax’s direction. “Dude, I know this sounds insane, but I think . . . I think Jax’s texting.”
“It’s definitely something of Armageddon proportions,” I agreed, finishing my set and leaping off the bench so that Sanchez could start his. “He stopped midlift.”
“Jax,” Sanchez grunted as he heaved the bar from the rack, “doesn’t stop for shit, you’ve seen the way he works out. Like he’s being chased by fucking flesh-eating zombies.”
“Two more.” I had my hands under the bar just in case. “We should probably steal his phone.”
“It’s like we share a brain when we bro lift, man, because I was just trying to figure out a way to crack his code.”
“Birthday.”
Sanchez finished lifting and grabbed a towel. “Shit, man, this is Jax. Do you really think he’d still keep that as his password? He’s not lazy like us.” We both glanced behind us to where Jax was standing a good ten feet away.
Jax set his phone down and then cracked a smile.
“Did he—” Sanchez smacked me with a towel. “Did he smile? At his phone? Did you see that?”
I couldn’t believe my own eyes. Jax Romonov was texting a chick, and by the looks of his face, a smoking hot one.
“Jax!” I called him over. “You’re up.”
“Oh.” He coughed into his hand, dropped his phone onto his gear lying on the ground, and slowly made his way over. “Sorry, I was just . . . um. Texting.”
“Who?” Sanchez’s mouth widened into a smirk.
Jax scowled and lay down on the bench while I spotted him. “How about none of your damn business?”
He lifted the bar off the bench and started pumping out his reps. When he got to the last one, Sanchez came over, grabbed the bar, and slowly pressed it down until it almost connected with Jax’s chest.
Jax groaned in an effort to shove it back up.
“The hell, man!” he roared, arms shaking. “You trying to kill me?”
“Depends.” Sanchez grinned. “Who you texting?”
“This is two-twenty, you jackass!” Jax hissed, his face turning red.
Sanchez whistled. “Wow, man, I wasn’t aware. That’s really heavy. Isn’t that heavy, Miller?”
I coughed out a laugh. “Sure is.”
“Just tell us who you’re texting and I’ll lift the bar off.”
“This is, this is . . .” Jax kicked his legs out, flailed, gave up, and glared. “I’m telling the defense to take you both out by any means necessary next week.”
Sanchez yawned.
I sighed. “Who is it?”
“What are you guys doing?” Kinsey screamed, running over to the weight section with Emerson on her heels. “Stop it! You could kill him! That’s at least two-twenty-five. You know his max is only fifty over that!”
“He’s fine.” Sanchez pushed down harder. “Plus Miller’s hands are right underneath it, the bar isn’t going anywhere until he confesses who he was texting.”
“What the fuck is this? Middle school?” Jax rolled his eyes.
“Texting?” Kins’s eyes lit up, and in seconds she was by my side. “You’re texting?”
“I text all the time!” Jax roared.
The guy was getting pretty worked up over a few text messages. I would bet my entire contract that he was texting a girl. I just wanted to know who.
Emerson grinned from her spot behind Kinsey. “Maybe we should just grab his phone and see?”
“Give it here.” Kins held out her hand.
“Kins,” Jax’s voice pleaded. “Don’t you dare.”
“You locked me in a closet during prom,” Kinsey said as Emerson slapped the phone in her hand. “I’ll dare any damn time I want.”
“I can’t believe this shit,” Jax mumbled.
“Seriously?” I eyed Kins. “Do you know everyone’s password?”
“It’s her gift.” Emerson sighed. “She cracked mine in seconds, I don’t know how she does it.”
“Annoying as hell!” Jax roared, fighting against Sanchez, who was still laughing his ass off.
Kins quickly hit the pass code and then gasped out, “No way!”
“What!” we all exclaimed, nearly forgetting about a struggling Jax, before he yelped.
Sanchez pulled the bar off him and set it in the rack, and then ran over to Kins. We huddled around like kids with nothing better to do than gossip while Jax swore like a sailor on the bench, alternating between yelling at us and throwing a towel against the floor.
“Harley.” Kins quickly hid the phone. “Wow, brother, I didn’t think you had it in you. I mean I gave her your number because she said she wanted to apologize, but this . . .” Her grin was bright, hopeful. God, she was beautiful when she smiled.
I put my feelings on lockdown.
It was one thing to lust after her, to want her. It was quite another thing to want more—to think more was possible after all the shit I’d been through last year. I was too fucked up to be anything except her friend, even though for the last twelve hours my actions and my words had been completely opposite of the promise I’d made.
I’d promised because her face damn near broke my heart.
But after last night, her confessions, the couch.
I was back to square one.
Wanting her naked and underneath me.
More than once.
More.
Just, wanting more.
Damn it.
“Guys!” Kins locked the phone and tossed it to a pissed-off Jax. “By this projection, I imagine Jax is going to get laid.”
Sanchez started a slow clap while Jax’s face flamed bright red.
Emerson and I exchanged a high five while Kins did a little shimmy, her ass pointed in my direction long enough for my mouth to go completely dry.
Em elbowed me in the ribs. “You gonna make it?”
“Shut up.”
She held her hands up in mock innocence and winked.
It was my turn to blush.
“It’s okay, you know,” she whispered while Sanchez and Kins continued their relentless teasing of Jax, including planning his outfit for their date tomorrow night.
I played dumb. “What is?”
“Liking her.”
“Wow, we really have reverted back to middle school, haven’t we?”
Em giggled. “Um, we nearly got a teacher fired in middle school.”
“God, Mrs. Perkins was the absolute worst!”
“Remember when she told us we were going to end up in prison?”
I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and gave her a side hug. “Who the hell says that to eleven-year-olds? You cried for two days and told me you wouldn’t survive in a place that didn’t let you express yourself creatively.”
She groaned, tucking her head against my chest.
Man, I’d missed Em so much, but it was different, holding her was different, like a piece of my life had returned, but not in the same way. We didn’t fit like we used to, we belonged together, just not in the way I’d always envisioned.
“Admit it, I was a nerd that you took under your wing because I was the only girl in school who brought extra fruit snacks.”
“The Power Ranger kind. Sometimes I still crave the blue ones.”
“You sick man.”
“They’re two for five dollars at the grocery store on the corner right now. I can maybe supply you with a few if you do me a solid.”
She peered up at me with those pretty brown eyes. “I’m not stealing the Bucks mascot.”
“That was high school, and you totally kicked ass in that YouTube video when they caught you in the men’s restroom with your foot in the toilet. Horrible hiding spot but who am I to judge?”
“Shut it.” She shoved me. “What’s this favor?”
“Find out why she’s been getting dizzy.”
Em frowned. “She being Kins?”
“Yeah.” I gulped, my eyes finding Kins like she was the only person in the room. “She got dizzy like she was going to pass out. Thankfully I’d already made her a shake with extra electrolytes and shit, I just . . . something seems off.”
“And you know her well enough to tell that.” Emerson said it like a statement, and then pressed her hand against my forearm. “I’ll find out, but have you thought of asking her?”
“She’d lie . . . besides, we’re just, you know, taking things slow with this whole relationship, almost like friends but more . . .”
Em choked out a laugh. “Suurre. So no naked time yet?”
I slapped a hand over her mouth. “Say that around Jax, and you know he’ll find a reason to have me killed.”
She pulled my hand away. “Fine, I’ll ask.”
Jax’s phone went off.
We all turned our attention to him, grinning.
“You gonna answer that?” Sanchez crossed his bulky arms over his chest. “Or just let it go to voice mail?”
Jax flipped us all off and answered the phone as he jogged out of the room.
“This just in,” Sanchez announced. “I’m inviting myself to family dinner tomorrow night. No way am I missing the shit hitting the fan. Hell, this might be better than football, our little Jax growing up and getting naked with chicks.”