After Lance stomps away to go clean himself off, Milo’s hand drops from my back and he does a little stomping of his own. Right out of the school. I’m confused, repulsed, and scared, but I know I have to follow him. My limping half-run hurts horribly. I push the pain away and barrel through the doors. Milo is halfway to the football field. I call out to him, but he doesn’t turn around. When I cross onto the grass the rubber tip of my crutches sinks into the soft soil, yanking the crutch out from under me and sending me sprawling to the ground.
The heated string of curses that flies out of my mouth is enough to stop Milo. He walks back to me slowly, but doesn’t help me up. Anger surrounds him like a storm cloud. Guardian or not, he could have passed for one given his build, stance, and murderous glare. I can’t help shrinking back into the grass just a little. He saw everything. There is no doubt in my mind that he saw the kiss. It’s a miracle he stopped at punching Lance in the face.
“Milo, look, I know you’re mad,” I start.
His face is impassive but he can’t fool me. “Don’t do that to me, Libby,” he demands. “Don’t sift through my emotions like game pieces you can twist and play with. You know I can’t block you. The least you can do is keep out of my head.”
Something about what he’s saying hits me as wrong. It will have to wait, though. “You’re pissed at Lance. I get that, but…”
Bitter laughter explodes from his chest. “Lance? Sure, I’d like to punch his pretty face a few more times, but…” He doesn’t finish because his jaw tightens too much to let any more words out.
Realization hits me right in the gut. “You’re mad at me?”
“What? You think I shouldn’t be?” he scoffs.
“I…” I didn’t ask Lance to do any of what he did. It wasn’t my fault. But I can’t make myself argue with him. Not with the guilt swirling around inside of me.
“What were you even doing with him, Libby? I get out of class to come find you and make sure you were able to take your pain medication, and you’re standing in the hall making out with your ex-boyfriend! Why the hell would I be mad about that?” His hands fly up then smack down on the top of his head.
“I wasn’t making out with him!”
Milo rolls his eyes. “Right, right, he kissed you. There’s a huge difference.”
His sarcasm infuriates me. I yank my crutch out of the ground and get myself back to my feet on my own. “He did kiss me! Did it look like I was kissing him back? You should know that if I’m enjoying a kiss I do a little more than stand there with my hands at my side.”
“Well, you certainly weren’t trying to get away from him,” Milo accuses.
“I was in shock, for crying out loud! The last time I saw Lance, he was glaring at me and trying to incite riots against me. He caught me completely off guard!”
Milo stalks a few feet away from me and hangs his head. “But you wanted him to say all that stuff, didn’t you.”
“Yes, I did,” I admit, “but I wanted him to say it the night of my Inquest. Now…it doesn’t matter what he says now. It doesn’t change the past few months.”
“You didn’t enjoy hearing him say he’s still in love with you and begging you to take him back? You can’t honestly tell me that didn’t affect you at all.”
Managing anything even remotely romantic while tethered to crutches is impossible, so I have to make do with limping over to him and laying my head on his chest. “The only part of me that enjoyed that conversation was the vindictive part that has been begging me to punch him for leaving me in the first place.”
“Do you want him back?” Milo asks quietly.
I don’t even have to think about it.
“Milo, I want you.” That much I’m not confused about. Everything Lance said, I believe it. He was a coward for not standing up for me, but he never abandoned me completely. I believe him, but I’m not sure what I will do with that knowledge yet. Forgiveness? Acceptance? What I do know is that I don’t want to lose Milo.
“Libby,” Milo says quietly, “he’s right about me, you know. What Lance said is true. I’m nobody. Fewer talents than he even thinks and hunted by the Guardians. I can’t protect you like he can.”
“He has to protect me whether he wants to or not, now,” I mutter, “but that’s not the point. Even if Lance was my only chance at survival, I still wouldn’t take him back as my boyfriend just because he said he was sorry. I’ll use him, for sure, but just his talents. I won’t walk away from you just because Lance has a better chance of protecting me.”
The tension I was hoping would fade from his shoulders doesn’t happen. Milo looks up at me, but his face looks even more clouded than before. “What was Lance talking about when he said he’d been watching your back this entire time? He didn’t mean that literally, did he?”
“Actually, he did,” I say, fearing this one little secret will send Milo into another fit of anger.
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was afraid of what might happen if I told you.” Seeing the frustration in Milo’s eyes, I hurry on. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Milo. I was worried about how you would react, how Lance would react if you confronted him. I thought you two would get in a fight. I can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt.”
“Libby, what if he had been spying on you instead of watching out for you? How do you know he’s telling you the truth?”
“I think he already proved he was protecting me. Lance really has helped me out. Angus tried to attack me in gym and Lance stopped him. And I think Angus was going to try something at the dance, too, but Lance wouldn’t let him.” I take a deep breath. “I know Lance has made a lot of mistakes with me, but I do believe him on this. Lance has never once lied to me. All I can do is ask you to trust me on this.”
Milo still seems angry and pretty far from taking my word about Lance, but apparently he has too many other questions to fight me about it at the moment. “What did you mean when you said Lance has to protect you now? What was that thing he did with his diktats?”
My body goes cold. He saw, but he didn’t know what was happening. I forget sometimes that Lance knows a lot more about being a Guardian than most people because of his dad. Guardian Oaths aren’t discussed much outside the brotherhood. My eyes close as I mentally berate myself for my stupidity. If Milo never knew what Lance did, all the better for everyone involved. I had the chance to keep him out of it, and I blew it. Regardless of the fact that his phony Perception talent will do nothing to catch me trying to deceive him, I can’t lie to Milo. He is the one person I don’t have to pretend around.
“Libby?” Milo asks, even bringing his hand to my cheek to entice me to answer him.
I fall for the lure and open my eyes. “Have you ever heard of a Guardian Oath?”
“No,” he says slowly. “Is that something you have to take before becoming a Guardian?”
“No, anyone who’s been named into the Guardian class can make a Guardian Oath.” I take a deep breath. It would be so easy to give him some vague, meaningless answer. “It’s a promise to protect someone. I don’t really understand how it works, but somehow a person’s Speed and Strength are able to be dedicated to one person or group above anyone else.”
“What do you mean dedicated?” Milo asks, his voice growing tight.
“It’s irreversible. Most Guardians give their Oath when they’re inducted, promising to protect the people under their stewardship. It’s binding in every way. The Guardians have to act to protect the people they serve or they’ll regret it, painfully,” I explain.
I try to ignore the rage pouring off Milo like he so politely asked me to do, but it’s impossible. It’s way too strong. “That’s what Lance did?” he asks.
I nod.
“What does that mean exactly, for you and him?”
“It m-means,” I say, the quiver in my chin making it hard to speak clearly. “It means that he can feel when I’m in trouble. He’ll have to come help
me, or he’ll experience the worst pain imaginable. When he feels my need, he’ll know exactly where to find me, too. Depending on the strength of the link between us, he may be able to find me even if I’m not in trouble.”
I do not add that Lance’s Speed and Strength are ridiculously powerful. Guardian Clements comments on it frequently, convinced he’s stronger than he is and not even at his full potential. I have no idea how that, and my own power, might affect the link, but I doubt it’s anything good.
“What about you?” Milo asks. “Can you feel it when he’s hurt, or whatever? Do you have to rescue him, too?”
“No.” Thank goodness. Knowing he can feel me makes my skin crawl. The last thing I would ever want is to be able to feel him in return. “The Oath is completely one sided. I have absolutely no compulsion to help him.”
“Good,” Milo says darkly, “because I’m going to kill him.”
Oh, crap. He means it.
“Milo…” He’s already walking away from me, into a den of would-be Guardians just itching to try out their talents on something other than practice dummies. “Milo, stop! Wait!”
“Libby Sparks!” calls a breathless woman from behind me.
I shake my head and hurtle myself forward with my crutches to catch Milo. Probably just some overzealous teacher on ditching patrol. “Milo! Please, just wait. Milo!”
Muted speaking behind me catches my ear and sends a jolt of dread straight through me.
“This is Caroline Gomez for Channel Seven News trying to catch up with the fleeing Libby Sparks.”
“Milo!” I scream. The panic in my voice stops him. Finally. He turns and his own eyes widen.
After what happened with my mom, there’s no way I want to face down a pack of reporters, but as I watch Milo’s face drain of its color I realize my mistake. Our eyes meet and I can see the indecision in them. Help me get away, or risk being caught on camera. I can’t ask him to make the choice. My crutches dig into the grass as I come to an abrupt halt. I pinch my crutch under my arm and motion for him to run. He cringes and takes a step forward.
“Go! Hurry up!” I call, careful not to use his name again.
“Libby Sparks,” the winded reporter blurts out from right behind my ear.
I spin awkwardly to face her. She’s shoving a microphone in my face, but her camera man isn’t paying any attention to me. Instead, his lens is focused on Milo’s retreating form. He’s almost back to the school, but with how close the reporter was to me when he turned around, there’s no way he had enough time. Caroline Gomez’s questions wash over me in a daze.
Milo has just been found.
Chapter 27
Noise