porch petting his new fucking Rottweiler and really, I don’t want to ask you know? But I have to, I say ‘Ralph what happened to the kid’ and guess what he says.”
“Rottweiler.” The little guy driving said.
“Bingo. ‘He doesn’t know how to handle Deuce’ he says –that’s the fucking dog’s name, Deuce. This guy’s petting the dog while he’s telling me this!”
“Like it’s the kid’s fault.” The driver said.
“Yeah!” Dennis said. He turned to me. “You have a dog?”
“Nope.” I said.
“So I have to do something right? I’m not a hard on or anything but this is too much, so I’m like looking at the dog and looking at Ralph, just watching.”
“Fuckin’ Ralph.” The little guy said.
“Yeah, and he’s so in love with this dog it could make you sick. He’s baby talking the dog and showing me where the dog likes to be scratched, and meanwhile every time I go near the thing he’s growling. So the other guests arrive and we’re grilling on the back porch and Ralph is showing everybody how he throws a piece of meat in the air and the dog can catch it. He thinks this is just precious you know? That’s when I get my idea. I have in my possession at the time a few Oxycotins. The big ones you know? So I get one of these out and I’m holding it, down low, just waiting for my moment.”
“You didn’t.”
“Yes I did. Evelyn came out with drinks and everyone was distracted for a moment. I gave the mutt a chance though, all I did was throw the pill in the air, he didn’t have to catch it if he didn’t want to.”
“But he did.” The driver said.
“He did.” Dennis said. “Swallowed it whole. That was the end of Deuce.”
“Must’ve ruined the cookout.” I said.
“Not really.” Dennis said. “We were almost done eating when they noticed the dog was acting weird. Evelyn put him inside and we finished eating and had a couple more drinks and eventually everybody left. It wasn’t until the next day that Ralph called and told me Deuce had died. They thought he’d gotten ahold of some auto coolant or something.”
“You never liked dogs did you?” The driver said.
“Hell no.” He said. “They kill babies -three or four a year. But that particular dog had it coming. And so did Ralph -I mean, if you don’t have the sense to put down a dog that attacked your son, then I have no sympathy for you.”
“Sounds like you just did the kennel’s job for ‘em.” I said. “And at the kennel they kill ‘em with gas. I’d rather OD on Oxycotin than be gassed to death anyway. That dog probably went out high as a kite.”
Dennis and the driver laughed. “That’s right.” Dennis said. “I was thinking about charging Ralph for the pill too, I mean those things are twenty bucks apiece. But I let it go. Better he thinks the dog ate some coolant.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever met you.” I said to the guy driving the SUV.
“Sorry about that.” Dennis said. “This is Mario, Mario this is Ben.” Mario glanced at me in the rearview and nodded.
“You guys always get up this early?”
“Hell no.” Mario said. “We been up all night.”
“Oh.” I said. “Where are we headed?”
“The flats.” Dennis said even though we were already in the flats. I had a good idea of where we were going by then and pretty soon we were pulling up to Warren Auto-Body.
“Look what those fucking bitches did to my car.” He said as we entered the garage. The Escalade was up on a lift and aside from the back window and two side windows being gone, the SUV had a smashed up front end and scratches that looked like giant claw marks down the side.
“Whoa.” I said. “That’s all from the fence?”
“Yeah, it’s well constructed but it still wasn’t going to hold up to my Caddy behemoth.” Dennis said. He shut the garage door and nodded toward Mario who was walking to the back of the space. Mario opened an unpainted wooden door, and I followed him down some stairs into a large cement bunker that was under the shop. Dennis flipped on the lights and I saw that it was set up as a shooting range with a line on the floor, and a pulley system for the paper targets. Behind the paper target was a mangled block of plastic fixed to the wall. There was also a card table with mis-matched chairs, a beat up old couch and a mini-fridge. There were two centerfolds taped to the wall behind the card table that looked like they came from Hustler or one of the lower-class porn mags. The possibility that they might kill me suddenly seemed very real.
Dennis pointed at one of the chairs and told me to sit. They sat facing me and Mario lit a cigarette before asking if I wanted one. I said no thanks, but Dennis took one and I felt stupid being the only one not smoking. “What’s up guys?” I asked. “Is everything cool?”
“Don’t be nervous.” Dennis said. “We’re not trying to freak you out by bringing you here. In fact we want to help you, but we just have to ask you a few questions first. We like to know who the hell we’re helping. This is just a place we play cards sometimes. I’d take you to my place but my niece is visiting this week and I don’t want to wake her.” He leaned back in his chair and took a hit from his cigarette. “I’m curious what you told the cops the other night.”
“Not much.” I said. “I told them pretty much the truth, and the truth is that I really don’t know much at all. I told them you thought I was trying to break in and by the time you realized I was just there to help, the ski-mask crew had already started shooting.”
“Did you tell them my name?” Dennis asked.
“No.” I said.
“But you knew my name, why not tell them?”
“Because I figured it would open up a line of questioning I didn’t want to get into.”
“Like why did you come into my store to buy a gun on Monday.”
“Exactly.” I said.
“And why did you come into my store? We know it wasn’t because you wanted to carry a gun. You weren’t carrying it that night.”
“I wanted the gun.” I said. “I’m just not sure how to use it yet. I never had a chance to take it to a range or anything so it would be pretty silly to go around packing a gun you know? I’ve never even shot one.”
“It’s easy.” Mario said. “You just pull the trigger.”
“There’s lots of places to buy guns.” Dennis said. “Why my store?”
“Freddie told me about it.”
“Before he died.” Mario said.
“Yeah obviously.”
“You were good friends with Freddie?” Dennis asked.
“No, I wouldn’t say good friends.” I said. “One of the guards at Lakeview left a gun magazine in the gatehouse and Freddie saw me reading it. He asked if I was a gun owner and we just started talking about it. He told me if I ever needed a gun to go see you.”
“And who do you think killed Freddie?” Dennis asked. “Do you have any thoughts on that?”
“I have no clue.” I said.
“One popular theory is that it was David Telano.” Dennis said. “Your friend who you were helping when Freddie died. What do you think of that?”
“It’s possible.” I said. “It’s not like I was with him the whole time he was hiding, but I don’t think it was him.”
“Who then?” Dennis asked.
“These psycho vigilante bitches who shot up Pierson’s airport would be the first on my list.” I said.
“Yeah, the psycho bitches,” Dennis said, “did you tell the police that it was women that shot up Pierson’s place?”
“No.”
“And why not?”
“I don’t know nothin’ I ain’t see nothing.’” I said. “Why mention it.”
“That’s good,” Dennis said, “that’s the right attitude to take with the cops. How did they leave it with you?”
“They told me it was a matter of national security and that I can’t tell anyone what I saw.”
“And what do you think of that?”
“Fine with me.” I
said. They just looked back at me in silence. “Okay I’m curious,” I said, “but it’s none of my business so I’ll stay out of it. I saw how quick the feds got there -obviously something important was going on. For all I know those bitches could be far-left radical extremists. I’m just glad I’m still breathing and not in jail.”
“Yet.” Mario said.
“Yet.” I agreed.
Dennis let some silence ride before he spoke again. “After I talked to you about working for me I did a little research on you Ben Perkins. Turns out you’re an enigma.”
“News to me.” I said.
“You were basically a shit student, although you had some bright spots in English and History. Divorced parents, you stayed with your mom. One arrest, a couple of underage drinking citations, but nothing major. Did a year of community college, but you half-assed it, then held down a series of low paying shit jobs and never stayed past the two-year mark at any of them. You are not registered to vote and you live with an unremarkable young woman by the name of Jessica Stewart. These facts give me zero insight into who you actually are.”
“We know he’s loyal to his friends.” Mario said. “He put his ass on the line for that Telano fuckup.”
Dennis looked at Mario. “You got ‘loyal friend’ from that?” He asked. “I got dumb ass.”
I laughed. “You’re both right.” I said. “I’m a loyal friend, which in David’s case makes me a dumb ass.”
“I guess what I’m wondering Ben, is who the fuck are you? What do you stand for? I’ve known aimless parasites, scumbags and pederasts that start families and hold down jobs. Don’t you want any of that? Don’t you at least want money? I