guy.” Mario said.
Gretchen tried to say something to him, but it came out as an unintelligible grunt.
“That’s right.” Dennis shrugged. “Or she hates her daddy. In any case, we’re going to put her out of her misery.”
“You’re gonna shoot her?” I asked.
“No.” Dennis said. “You are.”
I looked at him for signs that he was kidding, but I didn’t see any. “Hey, uh, I can’t kill someone.” I said. “I mean she’s tied up here. How fair is that?”
“I guess we could uncuff her and give her a gun too, then it would be fair.” Dennis said. “Would that be better?”
Mario laughed.
“I just feel a little creeped out by the idea of killing a woman who’s chained up.”
“Here’s the thing.” Dennis said. “No one will ever, ever know. She goes in the lake -end of story. Me and Mario aren’t going to say anything. This isn’t high school, no one’s gonna rat you out. You put a bullet in her, we dump the body, we get you back to dry land and buy you a big steak.”
“This is so fucked up.” I said, looking at Gretchen. She had her eyes closed, and I thought she might be praying.
“Yeah, it’s fucked up, but so is everything.” Dennis said. “The world is a fucked up place, and believe me, this bitch would kill you if she could. You me or him. She would do it in a second. What can we do? Let her go? No -she’s not getting off this boat alive, how about you?”
“Are you serious?” I asked. “You’d kill me too?”
“This guy’s a fucking genius.” Mario said.
“You said you wanted to kill terrorists, here’s your chance. You’re either with us or with her, and you’re not getting off this boat unless you’re with us.” I looked at them. It seemed like they were having fun. I didn’t know what to say.
Mario pulled a gun and pointed it at my head. “You get the girl and I’ll take this one.” He said to Dennis.
“No, wait.” Dennis said. “He’s just nervous, that’s all. Remember the first time you did somebody? Weren’t you nervous?”
“I forget.” Mario said.
“Well I was nervous my first time. He’s going to rise to the occasion here.” Dennis said.
“I got an idea.” Mario said. “Why don’t we all shoot her at the same time. That way Mahatma here only has to live with a third of the guilt.”
“Yeah.” Dennis said. “Like a firing squad, only we all got live rounds. I like it. Get your gun out kid.”
“Fuck.” I said. I pulled the gun from my waistband.
“You loaded?” Mario asked.
“Yeah.” I said.
Gretchen opened her eyes and looked at us. She had gray eyes.
“Alright then, on the count of three we point and shoot. Ready?” Dennis pulled a small gun from his pocket.
I didn’t have a choice -I had to do it.
“One. Two.”
I was shaking.
“Three.”
I did nothing. They did nothing. There was a moment of silence before Mario started to say something, but I interrupted. “-I’ll do it, I’ll do it, I fucking swear I will.” I said. “I don’t care about this bitch, I don’t, I just never did this before. Gimme a break guys, come on.” The words were rushing out of my mouth. “I didn’t wake up this morning thinking I was gonna kill someone, you know? Gimme a minute. Shit! Gimme two minutes. I can do this, I swear, just hold up. I’m shaking and shit. Let me breathe. I need to calm down -steady myself. It’s a lot of pressure here, come on, I’m sick. I’m fucking crashing. I just need some of that coke. I need drugs. I don’t want to be sober when I do this. I’ll do it I swear. Gimme a couple minutes to gather myself, that’s all. I just need some of that good, good blow, so I can be numb -so I can do it cold-blooded. One more rail and I’m a killer, I promise.”
I was afraid if I stopped talking they would kill me. But when I did finally stop they both just shook their heads at me. Mario was smiling. “Cut him a line.” Dennis said. “Make it a cable, he needs it. Fuck it, cut three, we’ll all do one.”
Mario shrugged and tucked his gun in his waistband and I did the same. I followed him down the stairs and Dennis followed me. “What about her?” I said.
“What’s she gonna do?” Dennis said. “Let her try something, it’d be funny.”
Mario and I sat at the table and Dennis leaned against the sink. Mario opened his tin and dumped what was left onto the Formica. “I don’t like to waste this shit.” He said as he started chopping with the credit card. “So you’d better do this. I don’t want to get you high just to kill you. That would be pretty stupid.”
“I’ll do it.” I said. “If she doesn’t escape. What’s she doing?”
Dennis looked up the stairs. “She’s in the tackle cabinet.” He said. “There’s nothing in there, let her have her hope.”
“What about the harpoon gun?” Mario asked.
“Mack borrowed it.” He said.
Mario snorted up his line and handed the straw to Dennis. When he was finished he handed it to me. The amount of coke in my line was ridiculous. I leaned over and snorted half of it and had to stop. I held my nose and tried to swallow I was all numb through the esophagus. I leaned over to finish it and when I was halfway through I heard a strange pop and shooshing sound. I thought I had broken something in my brain from all the cocaine, but then I realized it was from outside. “What the fuck was that?” Mario said.
“Fuck, the stupid bitch shot off the flare gun.” Dennis said. He headed toward the stairs. Mario was laughing. I got the gun from my waist.
“No one around to see it.” Mario said. Dennis went up the stairs, leaving me alone with Mario. I pointed my gun at his head and pulled the trigger. Nothing. “Hey!” He said “You don’t fuckin’ point a gun at someone’s head!” Broken? Jammed? “I mean it’s just basic gun safety-” Safety -the safety was on. I flipped it down while he continued. “Even kidding around, you don’t do it. Even if it’s not loaded-” I shot him in the head and he rocked back before flopping forward and sinking under the table. I heard a thump on the upper deck and vaguely knew that Dennis had thrown Gretchen down.
“What the fuck was that?” He yelled. I got out from behind the table and headed for the bedroom. “You can’t shoot in my cabin.” I heard him say, with his voice getting closer. His footsteps came down the stairs and then stopped when he must’ve seen Mario’s body under the table. I was in the bedroom buzzing high and tight. The thought that he might bust into the room flashed through my brain and scared me, so I jumped through the doorway shooting twice before I knew where he was. The room was empty. No, he hadn’t had time to leave, I spun around in time to see him against the wall. I started to point my gun at him, but we were too close and he slapped it out of my hand. It hit my foot and I caught a glimpse of it skidding far away. I saw that his other hand held a gun, and it was coming up so I grabbed his wrist and pushed it away. He got my hair and slammed my head against the wall, but I kept holding his wrist. It seemed close to my face, so I bit into it. I heard him exhale loudly, and I realized I was biting him but hadn’t broken the skin. I bit down harder and ripped. I felt hot wetness rush into my mouth and onto my face. Dennis was screaming and I wondered why I couldn’t taste it. I took hold of his shirt and pulled him downward, tangling up our legs. We fell and I lost hold of his wrist, now slippery with blood. I heard a shot and reached toward where it came from and felt the gun in his hand, against his leg. I pulled it free and tossed it away. Before I knew what I was doing I was on my feet kicking Dennis in the head and neck as hard as I could, over and over again. After I knew what I was doing I kicked him two more times.
His hands were covering his face from my kicks, and I thought the fight was over and that I had won. I started across the room to pick up his gun, but he threw his legs up and tripped me. He was still in good shape apparently, because he was on me quick and forced me to the ground. I tried to twist myself around, and succeeded, b
ut then regretted it, because now I was on my back -a harder position to get up from. I was half under the table and my shoulder was on Mario’s foot. Dennis’ hand was on my face and two of his fingers gripped into my eye socket. I’d closed my eyes in time, but he used the harsh grip to slam my head against the floor. His hand slipped down and his forearm wedged against my neck. He pressed down mercilessly, strangling me while his other hand pushed against my shoulder, holding me in place. I didn’t know how things had turned in his favor so quickly. I couldn’t breathe or make a sound. What little fight I had left went into my legs, which were kicking at nothing as he strangled me with his forearm.
My right arm was free and I beat against the side of his head to no effect. With him on top of me and my shoulder against the floor, my blows were coming from my elbow and were weak. I felt something hard above my head and instinctively grabbed onto it. It fit in my hand and was heavy. I realized as I brought it down on Dennis’ head that it was a gun. Mario’s gun -I’d pulled it from his waistband. The blow from the butt of the gun interrupted the weight on my neck for a moment and I caught a short breath as I got my finger on the trigger. I squeezed and the pop brought Dennis down onto me. I gasped for breath, and realized he wasn’t fighting anymore, I had killed him. I pushed him off and saw a hole in his temple the size of nickel.
I looked up to see Gretchen at the top of the stairs, hunched over with the