There was no one to hear me
as I was alone and it suddenly hit me
the reflection that shone.
I realized that moment there wasn't clear glass,
but a mirror in front of me
and questions to ask.
Where were the wrongs that I needed to right?
The pathetic mistakes, the tough breaks
and the fights?
Perhaps the answer lies in the eyes
staring back at me,
full of surprise.
The only thing I can fix, the only one
I can help, is the person who dwells
inside of myself.
Possession
The moment you touched my lips I was hooked
I inhaled you deeply and held on to you tightly
Your poison rushed through my body gripping my entire being
Before I realized what was happening you become more than a want
Soon you were a need that tugged at my mind, soul, and heart
You were a danger to me
You were the one thing in my life that allowed me to be bad
Encouraging my addiction by calming my frayed nerves
Soothing my anxiety with every inhalation
You held me tight in your grasp until I began to feel smothered
The tighter you held me the further you pushed me away
In the beginning your danger excited me
I felt mighty holding you between my fingers
Until the danger I had once craved began to crush me
I had to quit you I had to let you go
No longer would I allow you to control my life, moods, and feelings
Giving you up was not easy until the day I no longer needed you
I exhaled your black smoke and crushed your ashes
I put you out for the last time
No more relapses
I will not collapse in weakness at the very sight of you
My body will not tremble when someone speaks of you
Rage will not encompass me until your blackness has penetrated my body
I am over you, your effect is gone, the craving is gone, the need is gone
I have won the battle and the war
I am me again
Child
Child.
Hush now…
You are enchanted like the sunrise. You are one, a special and
miraculous creation.
Your life should be love and light and caring and goodness and
learning and growing and happiness and faith and knowing.
This is what you deserve, because you were born and you are
here. You welcome every truth of the universe. You know all that will
someday be forgotten. You are meant to be kept safe and sound.
But it isn’t always so.
There may be cruelty and hurt and danger and pain and darkness
and hunger and loneliness and fear. But these things do not know your
name. They cannot reach your heart. They cannot see your light. Do not
let them inside.
A parent or a relative or a friend or a teacher or a policeman or a
president or a god may not be able to fix this sadness. Sometimes
nothing else can. And it is not fair. And it is not your fault. And it will
never be okay.
But you have a great wind behind you. You will leave the cave of
nightmares and monsters. Hope will be your armor. Imagination will be
your friend.
A warm glow will bathe you. Tender arms will rock you. Kind eyes
will guide you. A gentle hand will find yours and it will not let go.
Somewhere, a beautiful garden blooms just for you.
You are strong. Feel it. Believe that you can, and you can. Know
that you can, and you will.
You will change. Change what you will be in this world. And you
will change this world. This is your surprise gift.
You are a shooting star, a wish upon that star, a prayer answered,
a dream come true. A bird with a broken wing who will soar, a frog who
will be prince, a delicate flower waiting to open, a raindrop glistening on
a leaf, a perfect snowflake, a brilliant flash in a stormy sky.
You are one of a kind.
You are soft color and sweet lullaby, calm warmth and long deep
breath. You are bursting spirit, beating heart, pulse, spark, fire.
You are the power in the waves, the man on the moon, the fairy in
the forest, the “poof “in the spell, the tinkle in the bell. You are
supernova.
Feel it. Your strength. Your truth. Your dream. Your calm and your
sureness. Yours, no one else’s, no one can crush, deny, break or destroy
this .
Trust your mighty spirit. Raise it to the heavens. Whisper its
secrets. Smile its wonder.
Cherish it as you were meant to be cherished. Love it as you were
meant to be loved. Know it as only you can know. Show it as only you
can show. Become. Be.
Child, you are miracle. You are a whole undiscovered universe.
You are Jane, Pedro, Pierre, Mohammed, Jamar, Tanisha, Yusef, Tomas,
Lars, Tao, Kumar, Ivan, Paolo, Ailani, Ichiro, Marie, Jules. You are magic. I
believe in you. Believe in you.
Things will become real because you will see them. See beauty.
See peace. See love. See joy.
See your greatness.
Dream your dream. Write your story. Paint your rainbow. Close
your eyes. Open your heart. Lift your chin. Dance your dance. Sing your
song. Sing it home.
I will hear you. You are heard. And you are loved.
~Part Two:Short Stories~
Modern Technology - Human Decisions -
Modern technology and human intelligence combined is a powerful commodity,
but these make decisions harder and more heart-rending when it comes to the choices needed to be made by pregnant women and their husbands/partners.
I hope to show much empathy as I write about the possible emotions and decisions required in the case of a couple who have learnt by ultra-sound scan that their baby has spina-bifida.
The sensitivity shown by medical staff explaining the situation to the parents would, I imagine, play a huge part in their initial reactions. The reactions are varied…reactions of shock, of being unable to believe their new-found predicament, fear of the unknown, along with a rush of many first time emotions, churning around inside, waiting to erupt like a large volcano.
These pent-up feelings could erupt in anger, fear, frustration - perhaps necessary reactions, but negative ones -.
Working through this void of negative emotions would hopefully subside in due course, giving way to a more positive approach, an approach of tears, tender-loving care, and a wiliness to cling together as a couple, as they share this low ebb in their lives.
I would hope that any couple would lean towards each other for love and support at such a time, not becoming isolated as individuals, turning their backs on each other, like two separated book-ends!
Next, comes a time to contemplate and ‘talk-through’ their choices as offered in these modern times. The options of abortion, having the baby and accepting its problems, or deciding to have the baby undergo an operation on in the womb.
I suspect that in this positions couples can be thrown very far apart, or cling closer together, needing each other more than ever before. They need to feel still loved and wanted by each other, and that “together” is the best way forward.
Communication is very important; here they need to be open and honest regarding their feelings, as they discuss why they will make certain choices and dismiss others.
Fear for the safety of mother and baby wou
ld probably be the father’s worst nightmare. Could he allow himself to possibly loose both of the people he loves the most?
Would this influence his agreement to consent in allowing the baby to be removed from its mother, operated on, and returned to the womb?
Does his wife/partner understand his fears - or does she feel that the most important consideration is to give her baby the best possible chance of being born in the most viable condition.
Abortion - would this be an option? Abortion may not be an option, depending on the views of the couple. Would one partner consider this a non possibility for religious or other reasons? The relationship of the couple would be further stretched if this were the case. Would one partner be overly selfish, not taking the others belief’s into consideration?
The turmoil goes on and on, the only answer I can see is that the couple make a carefully, well thought out decision, and then cling to each other physically and emotionally while any necessary process is being done, or they are awaiting for “nature to take its course”.
It has gone full circle. Are too many choices in our modern world too much?
My guess is that until an individual is placed in these precise situations their answers will never be know, we can only surmise.
What we do know, however, is that once a decision is made, sometimes, there is no turning back. We have to live with our final choices - knowing that we chose the “best options” at the given “time” and “space” of our lives.
Things will become real because you will see
Meeting Royalty
.
Princess Diana was born on July first in 1961.
Having had a fairy tale wedding, Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer, known today as Princess Diana, soon became loving parents to Prince William, and later, Prince Harry.
Unfortunately, tragedy soon struck!
The untimely death of Princess Diana came on the 31st of August 1977. I touched upon this event, both during and after its un-folding, perhaps slightly more than the average person.
The Nation grieved with her sons William and Harry, young teenagers, heads bowed, following the cortege, with their Mother’s coffin draped in the Spencer Family Royal Standard. Princess Diana is buried on the grounds of Althorp Estate, her family’s Stately Home, her final resting place, surrounded by a large lake in a most beautiful and peaceful setting.
I watched her final journey as I stood on my door step, for once being happy that I lived on a hill top. I stood mesmerized as I first saw the out-rider, then the hearse, as it travelled along the M1 Motorway toward Northamptonshire.
Years later, on the 6th of July 2004, I saw Princes William and Harry on a walk about which included their Grandmother, the Queen. The crowds suddenly divided, like the parting of the Red Sea and I saw Her Majesty’s radiant smile!
It was a day to remember, where sadness and joy complemented each other, at this, the opening of the Princess Diana Memorial in Hyde Park, London.
The Emotional House.
Driving toward the house the man noticed just how dilapidated it looked. Not surprising thought the man; after all it has lain empty for years. Prospective buyers had long ago come and gone. Nobody knows why, but this man and his associate were going to find out.
The man walked gingerly towards the house. Barely touching the door he heard suddenly, “Hello! My name is Harry, Harry the house. You will always be welcome here, if you can stand the strange happenings within my walls.
I’m sure the door opened as you touched it. Well, watch. Hello! See, the letter box in also my mouth. Look at my windows, see them blink? People don’t often come by but when they do, probably due to curiosity, it frightens them to death. I love it. Fear is what makes me laugh! I enjoy a good giggle, especially at the expense of others.
“I’m not always a bad house; sometimes I just “toy” with people. You’re welcome to stay the night. I would love your company. Nobody ever stays, they are too afraid, are you brave enough? Up the stairs you go. Oh! You just discovered they move; I can feel you wobbling on them. I can see the fear in your eyes; do the walls feel as if they are closing-in on you? Yes, you are the bravest of all; most are long gone by now. Why are you still here? Will you tell me your story, if I tell you my secrets? Is that a deal? Who should speak first?”
“I will,” said the man, suddenly feeling a little less afraid. “I will, for I am an investigator, a physic investigator, and you-this house–are going to be investigated, by myself and my associate, who is yet to arrive.”
“That should be interesting,” said the house, as it quivered at the thrill of seeing yet another frightened person heading for the front door.
The investigator heard these words, as out of the corner of his eye, he saw his now pale-looking friend entering the house. He noticed his friend’s slight trembling, his mouth opening and closing; no words coming out. “It’s ok, Paul,” said John. “I was scared at first, it’s just shock. We will talk some more, just as soon as you calm down.”
“No-one has yet stayed the night. What makes you think you are any different?” shouted the house. Paul jumped, giving a nervous laugh at his own reaction.
“Stop it, stop talking!” shouted John. To their amazement, the house fell into total silence, and that’s when they heard a dripping sound coming from outside the front door. What could it be? The sun was shining, it was warm and there was no rain.
Now outside, the men looked bewildered, for all the windows were producing tears.
Harry was sad and crying, not confident or egotistic anymore, at least not for the moment. “Please” said the house in a pleading voice, “please don’t go. I want to tell you my secrets; it will help me so much”.
John spoke in a surprised voice, “Well! This is a change of heart”.
The two men suddenly felt chilled as the sun disappeared behind a cloud. Together they returned into the house. They stood side by side in the living room, both silently trying to collect their individual thoughts.
Suddenly the house began to tremble, very gently at first, then more forcefully, making both men sit on the floor at the fear of falling over. The trembling continued, but the house did not speak.
John and Paul found their eyes being drawn towards the kitchen. Stunned, they witnessed a shadowy figure drift by and disappear into nothingness. The two men were glued to the floor. They gulped hard as the feeling of fight or fright over-took their emotions. “Go away, who ever you are”, shouted Harry. “You are the evil side of me, go away!”
Harry the house inhaled a long intake of breath, and then slowly blew it out. The men followed suite and found themselves calming down gradually. “I’m sorry” said Harry. “This is what I have to fight against all the while, I’m so tired of doing-so, please help me”.
“How can we?” asked John, in a comforting voice.
“To begin with, you listening to me will be good”, said Harry.
All rooms were prepared with the investigator’s special equipment, and so the friends settled down to listen intently to Harry.
Harry began his story ……………..
“I used to be an ordinary house, a house on lease to U.S. Military Personnel. Many families came and went. I was happy in those days, enjoying the company. The warmth of people, the sound of children at play, oh! It was so good. One day, when everyone was out, luckily for them, I was attacked by an arsonist with a petrol bomb which exploded in the man’s hand; the force of which threw him away from me. He screamed in terror and pain, there was nobody nearby to help. Dragging himself up the pathway he collapsed, he never moved again. He was found by the family upon their return home”.
“The post-mortem showed the cause of death to be heart failure, probably brought on by shock and his sever burns”. Harry gave a big sigh.
“Have a break” said John.
Although Harry sounded very distressed he decided to continue. “Ever since
that incident”, Harry seemed to choke-up again, “I have not been the same. This evil side of me kicks-in, and it’s so, so, very hard to fight off”.
As the investigators settled into their sleeping bags for the night, John and Paul swore they would help Harry in any way possible. The friends had just settled down when they heard a noise. They sat up slowly. Rubbing his hand along the floor, John found the torch he was looking for. He set it on low beam. Shinning it around the room he found Paul’s face. “What was that?”
“Don’t know”, replied Paul in a whisper. “The equipment shows nothing”. As if in response, they heard a loud thud. A gigantic amount of water cascaded upon the men; its sheer force, quantity and weight almost drowning them. Jumping up, yet another noise attracted their attention; they automatically looked up, this time to see the roof tiles slide out of position and another torrent of water cascade down. The house gave a sniggering laugh. The laugh grew louder and louder and more violent, until the whole house shook, knocking the men off their feet and into the water. The water was deep, deeper than the friends realized. They had to swim to the front door.
Outside, the cold air made the men shiver and shake. Paul felt his arm being grabbed. He jumped and then realized it was John dragging him towards the car.
Heading toward the house the next day, the two were very dubious as to what they might find. They now understood Harry’s words and the position he was in. He really was an emotional house, a fact, incredibly strange, but true.
This time they had to force open the door. There was still a vast amount of water around. Shoving their way inside they called Harry’s name. No reply came. Checking the equipment, it registered a lot activity. Smiling at each other, they punched the air in triumph. There was the evidence! Just what they had been hopping for!