It took me a moment to realize that she thought I was having morning sickness. But she was gone before I could correct her. I stared at myself in the mirror again, and then I laughed.
It would probably be the end of my world if Christian had left me a souvenir and I’d found out about it too late. If it happened that my ex-boyfriend had impregnated me and I was already married to Travis, my family would not only be ashamed of me, they would disown me altogether!
But that was the least of my worries. I may have asked Travis to marry me out of desperation, but I wouldn’t ask him to be a father to my ex-boyfriend’s baby! Especially not now, when I realized that I loved him…more than I loved him before. I didn’t love him as a brother, or as a best friend anymore.
Luckily, I remembered having my periods in Manhattan. So I knew I was not pregnant after I broke up with Christian. It’d been months since we last slept together. I would have been halfway through the pregnancy by now, and that was impossible since I had still packed a pair of two-piece string bikinis in my bag.
I gargled with water again, and then I fished mouth spray out of my purse. I combed my hair and put on a bit of powder before I went out of the ladies’ room.
Travis was leaning on the wall, his arms crossed as he anxiously watched the ladies’ room door. His face lit up at the sight of me.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” I replied.
He pulled me into his arms and gave me a tight hug. “You had me worried.”
I felt good. Especially now that I knew that I was in love with him, his hugs gave me an entirely different feeling. They made me feel whole. They made me feel home. I realized that Travis was the only guy who could complete me. He always had been anyway.
“I just felt a little dizzy,” I said.
“Do you want to cancel our plans?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. Of course not.”
He smiled. “Come, let’s go,” he said. “I can’t wait for us to be alone.”
I giggled. “Why?”
“It’s my birthday,” he said. “My three wishes. Peace. Quiet. Brianne.”
My heart swelled when I heard that. How could Travis say all those things to me and yet be in love with somebody else? Or was he over her now?
“Are you sure…you don’t want to be somewhere else?” I asked quietly. “It’s your birthday, Travis. You can ask me anything you want.”
He stopped walking. He stared at me for a long moment, and his eyes were unfathomable. I was afraid I’d offended him.
I bit my lip. I knew he was angry.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Brianne,” he said in a cold voice. “I just might take you up on that offer.”
I raised my chin to him. This is it! He will finally admit that he wants one chance…at least one day to be with her! Damn, it hurt, but I knew I would allow that!
“I mean it,” I said brokenly.
He narrowed his eyes at me. He gave me a bitter but devilish smile, as if an evil plan had just hatched in his head. Then he took my hand and walked toward the building exit.
“Travis… wait!” I said. “Where are we going?”
“Where we planned to go,” he replied coldly.
“Why? I thought you wanted…”
“You don’t know what I want, Brianne!” he snapped.
We reached his car. He opened the passenger door for me. I refused to get in. “What the hell is going on? Where are you taking me?”
“It doesn’t matter! I can take you home, or at the hotel, or I can haul you back to my office. Either way, I’m going to make sure you don’t break your promise. Now, do you need help getting in the car?”
I glared at him and then I got inside his car. Travis didn’t say a word during the entire drive. He’d made arrangements for us to spend the weekend at the Four Seasons. He was driving fast, and I could tell how furious he was.
When we got to the hotel, we were immediately assisted by the hotel staff. Travis took my hand firmly, and we immediately went to our suite through a private-access elevator.
The room he rented was very luxurious. The architecture was very dramatic and posh. But I was too afraid of Travis to actually enjoy looking at the suite.
Once we were alone, Travis finally looked at me. He gave me one hard look. His eyes were dark with fury. He came closer to me.
“What did you say to me, Brianne?” he asked. “You said I could ask you anything I want?”
I took a deep breath. “Travis…” I whispered. “I only said that…because I thought…”
“You thought what?” he asked angrily.
“I thought you wanted to be with her…that woman you said you fell in love with…I thought I was being selfish. That I was taking too much of your time…”
“You have no idea what I really want, Brianne!” he said almost angrily. “But if you meant what you said, I will let you know!”
I had to be strong, and brave. This man in front of me was furious… cold and ruthless again! But I was not afraid of him. I knew that no matter how mad he was, he wouldn’t hurt me! I was just afraid of what he would say to me…afraid that he would tell me that what he really wanted was her.
I raised my chin to him in pure defiance. “I mean it.”
He smiled at me crookedly. There was a hint of mischief in that smile, and a hint of evil.
His face descended toward mine and he gave me one hard kiss. He devoured my lips as if he had been hungry for a decade. He invaded my mouth as if it were his sole mission to conquer me.
Then he nuzzled my neck, and I let out a moan in a voice I could barely recognize. My knees felt weak instantly and I lost my balance. Travis caught me in his arms. He gave me one hard look and then he picked me up and carried me to bed.
“Travis…” I whispered.
He took off his jacket and his shirt, his perfect abs exposed before my eyes. He got on top of me, and he kissed me again. The world stopped and then it spun ten times faster.
He kissed me savagely, as if he was going to take what he had deprived of himself of for a long time. He was bruising my lips.
“Travis…stop,” I whispered.
“This is what I want, Brianne!” he whispered hoarsely. “Are you willing to give it to me?” And suddenly, I realized that his voice was no longer angry, or cold…it was almost…desperate…begging.
“Travis…” I whispered. “I told you before you could have your needs fulfilled as per usual…”
Travis’s forehead was resting against my shoulder. His eyes were closed. He had taken a couple of deep breaths before he spoke again.
“I haven’t touched a woman since…since we got married, Brianne,” he whispered.
This confession surprised me, but more than anything, it made me happy. “Why?”
He sighed again. “Because…because I don’t want to cheat on you. And because…” He raised his head so he could look at me. I looked into his eyes. They were like liquid sapphires, almost shining with tears. “Because I don’t want anybody else…but you. I know that nobody could soothe this pain I have…could satiate this need I have…just you, Brianne.”
“Travis…”
“You said I could ask you for anything,” he said. “Now I’m looking at the person I want the most, Brianne. The one thing I want…the one thing I know I cannot have!”
I took a deep breath. God knows I wanted him, too! But the difference between the two of us was… Travis just wanted me. He was not in love with me…the way that I was so in love with him.
“But didn’t you promise Tom…”
“I promised Tom I will look out for you for the rest of my life. I promised him I would always make sure you are safe. I think…I am doing a good job keeping those promises. I never promised him I wouldn’t touch you…or want you.”
“Travis…” I whispered. In truth, my heart was welling up with happiness. But I was also scared. Because I knew I was a few seconds away from giving in to what
Travis was asking of me…but I knew that I couldn’t share him with anybody else…even if she was the one he loved, I would not allow him to touch her again.
There was too much gamble, too much risk. My heart was at stake already, and now he wanted to put our friendship on the table. And that friendship was my rock…my pillar. It was what kept me alive and kept me going over all those years.
Travis took a deep breath. Then he pulled away from me and stood up from the bed. I immediately felt empty, heartbroken and deeply sad. He refused to look at me again.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I need some air.”
“Why are you so mad at me now, Travis?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. “What exactly pissed you off?”
He didn’t answer. He put his shirt back on and then he headed for the door. Before he left he said, “The way you don’t believe it’s you I’m thinking about all the time…the way you think I’m thinking about somebody else, when I desperately want only you. The way I bare my soul when I kiss you, hold you in my arms…and yet you still believe I want somebody else.” He sighed. “I don’t often show this much emotion for another human being, Brianne. You must know because you know me the best. It’s frustrating that even you…do not believe me.”
He exited the room and I lay back in bed feeling confused and upset. But I knew he was right. Throughout this entire marriage, he had been trying to make things work between us. But I had still kept thinking about the other woman. I had kept thinking that he was not yet over her, and every emotion he’d ever shown me, he would have been happier to show someone else. Maybe he really was over her. And there was just me in his life now.
Amidst the tears and the anguish, I fell asleep. In my dreams, I saw Travis…the way I’d dreamt about him many nights before.
He touched me the way I wanted to be touched, the way I needed to be touched. He was reluctant to touch me, because he was honor-bound not to. But I begged him to. I asked him to make love to me. He kissed me in ways that made me forget who he was…who I was. He held me in ways that kept me safe and warm. I screamed his name as I reached my peak. I felt like jumping off a cliff and then feeling Travis catch me in his arms. And then I told him I loved him. He gave me a smile of triumph, and then his body shook as he reached his own heaven with me in his arms.
And I woke up. I was panting alone in bed. I knew that my dreams of lovemaking with Travis were so potent, so vivid because I wanted them to come true with so much desperation. It was him I wanted the most, too!
I realized what I needed to do. It was time to stop fearing what could be…and go after the one thing I wanted the most in my life now. Yes, I might get heartbroken after this. Yes, I might lose my friendship with Travis. But what if he felt the same way for me? Then I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. But I would never know until I took a chance. I believed in Travis. I knew…whatever happened…he wouldn’t hurt me.
Maybe now…it was time to put all my bets on the table and raise the stakes very, very high!
Chapter Twenty-Six
It was already nine in the evening, and Travis had not returned yet. Each minute I waited for him, I got worried.
Had he finally given up on me? Had he finally given in to her? Did he think we were hopeless and that he just had to continue with the original terms of our agreement? While I, on the other hand, had decided to keep him for myself, to go after what I wanted, and what I loved, no matter the consequences?
I had food delivered to the room, and I set a candlelight dinner for us. I showered and dressed in an elegant Victoria’s Secret nightdress under my silk robe. I wanted to show a bit of effort to Travis…he deserved it after all I’d done to him.
But as each minute passed by, my hopes were going down the drain. It was still his birthday. Maybe he’d decided to have a bit of fun himself. And forget the one person who had caused him pain…me.
Eleven in the evening. The food had gotten cold, and the ice in the bucket had turned to water. In all frustration, I decided to give up. Travis probably wouldn’t come back tonight. I called room service to take the food away.
I went onto the balcony. There was a lover’s moon again that night. It illuminated the skies perfectly. The city lights proved that people out there still refused to sleep. Proof that Travis could still be out there somewhere…
I sighed. It would have been perfect. But maybe I’d decided to fight just a few hours too late. When I decided to give in…I guess Travis decided to give up.
“What was room service doing here?” I heard a voice ask behind me.
I took a deep breath. “Taking away the dinner I prepared for us,” I said in a low voice.
He didn’t say anything. I turned around to face him. I didn’t disguise the tears in my eyes. He would know immediately that I had been crying anyway.
He looked at my face, and then at the silk robe I was wearing. I should have been embarrassed, but I was so angry, I didn’t have time to feel anything else.
“I’m going to bed,” I said haughtily. “Happy birthday again!”
I walked past him, but he was quick to catch me by the waist, stopping me. He tilted my chin up so I would face him. I stared back at him and raised a brow, making no effort to disguise any emotion I was feeling at that moment. Let him read me like a book, for all I care!
He narrowed his eyes. “What were you planning to do?”
“Nothing!” I replied.
“You can lie better, Brianne,” he said.
“If you’re so smart, why don’t you say it out loud yourself?!”
“It’s still my birthday, and you promised to give me anything I wanted,” he countered.
“Oh, the wishing line expired an hour ago!” I snapped.
Tears seem to fill his eyes and he smiled at me solemnly. “Are you just doing this because it’s my birthday?” he asked. “Or is it because you want me as much as I want you?” His voice was a whisper…full of emotion, full of desperation.
I took a deep breath. The anger I felt a while ago was slowly melting away. I just could not stay angry with this man. I realized that he was my one weakness, too. He always had been. I looked into his eyes. “Maybe I realized you’re all I want, too, Travis.”
His arms immediately came around me into a tight hug. I heard him suck in a deep breath. But he didn’t say anything.
“Where have you been, Travis?”
He laughed. “You really had to ask.” He caressed the back of my head. “I went back to the office to work...so I could forget we had a fight. The video logs in the building will prove that. And I’m glad you’re worried.”
Instantly, my heart was filled with joy and relief. Travis bent down to pick me up. Silently, he carried me to the bedroom and settled me down on the bed.
He stared at me seriously…desperately. Then slowly, he kissed me, gently at first, and then passionately. I breathed in the scent of him. He nuzzled my neck, and I clung to him for dear life.
“Travis…” I whispered.
I felt him tug at the strings of my robe. Slowly, he took it off me, and he kissed my bare shoulders. He took off his shirt and then he came down and kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and I kissed him back with the same intensity, the same passion.
He stared down at me, with all tenderness in his eyes.
“This will change everything forever, Brianne,” he whispered.
I nodded. “I know.”
He smiled at me wistfully. “I discovered I’m going to be possessive and jealous. I am going to officially end your quest to find the man of your dreams.”
I nodded happily. Tears welling up in my eyes.
“In return, I offer you my protection, my faithfulness…I will try my damn best to fill the shoes of that man you were looking for. I will try to make you happy, Brianne.”
Tears filled my eyes. I nodded. I touched his cheeks with my fingers. “As long as you promise you won’t touch any other woman…I think that is enough.”
He smiled. “I promise,” he said in a sober voice. “How could I, anyway? All I want for the rest of my life is you.”
He bent down slowly and kissed me again. I felt him reach down to his pants to get out of them until he was only wearing a pair of boxers. There was no disguising how much he wanted me. I could feel him against my abdomen. I let out a moan of pleasure.
Travis slowly took off my nightdress, kissing the skin he revealed. I felt like I was running out of breath. Shards and pieces of my dreams were mixing with what I saw before me. I was unable to believe what was happening between us…that finally, this was happening for real.
“Travis…” I whispered against his skin.
“Brianne…” he whispered.
I clung to him for support. His touch was too electrifying. I was afraid I could not handle the intensity of his kisses and the magnitude of emotion I felt with every caress.
“Travis…” I moaned as he kissed my neck. He was right. It was my weakest point. I instantly turned mindless at the touch of his lips on that spot.
“Open your eyes, Brianne,” he whispered softly. I did as he asked. “I want you to look at me, remember me as I make love to you.”
I giggled softly. I pulled him to me and gave him a kiss on the lips. “I will never forget this, Travis.”
He smiled. There was still something in that smile that was desperate and yearning. I hugged him to me to assure him that everything was going to be okay. That every single thing he promised me a few minutes ago, I promised the same to him.
“This is not a dream, Brianne. This is real,” he said. “You’re giving yourself to me. I’m pledging my soul to you.” And he went inside me.
It was everything I ever expected and more. Fireworks seemed to have exploded everywhere. It was as if all my dreams were coming true at the same time. I ignited with every touch, every kiss. Hearing him moan my name was the sweetest of all sounds I could ever hear.
I could feel him inside me as he had been before…many years ago. It was the same, and yet it was different.
We rode the tide of passion together. My peak wanted to be reached. With Chris, it wouldn’t always last long enough for me to get there. But with Travis, I could tell that he was holding back, he was trying to control himself.