Scooping up our cups, we moved out of the shop and toward the lab.
Once we were there, she exhaled. “Elizabeth loves Father Gabriel, The Light, and Brother Luke. She’ll be the first to tell you that she has no regrets about coming to The Light, but once a year, around the time of her birthday, she gets sad.”
I shook my head. “We don’t celebrate birthdays.” It was something I’d learned early on with Sister Lilith.
Dinah’s lips formed a straight line. “That doesn’t mean they don’t happen.”
I nodded. “OK, but why is she sad?”
“In the dark she has a sister, a twin sister. From what she said, they decided to follow Father Gabriel together, but after they did, her sister changed her mind. Elizabeth doesn’t begrudge her sister that right. After all, we’re all here because we want to be, but according to her, she never got the chance to say good-bye. Being twins and all, they were very close. She said she knows that the dark isn’t death, but after Brother Luke told her that her sister changed her mind, Elizabeth felt a loss, as if her sister died. Like all of us, Elizabeth was ready to give up everyone and everything from the dark. She just didn’t expect to give up her sister. It bothers her the most around her birthday.” Dinah shrugged. “Their birthday.”
“Wow, poor Elizabeth.”
“Please don’t mention it to her. Of course, we were all glad we could help, but Brother Luke didn’t approve of her sharing. As you know, Elizabeth is usually the poster child of obedience. Being corrected for her plea for help reminds her not to bring it up again.”
Reminders!
I nodded. “Thanks for telling me.”
There wasn’t much extra space within the walls of the community, but on the north end there were a few acres of woods with paths. When I first awoke from my accident it was the beginning of the dark season; now we were into full light. Though it never got warm at the Northern Light, it was considerably warmer near the end of June than it had been in November.
“Hurry up,” Jacob teased as he ran ahead.
“I am,” I said with a laugh as my feet pounded the hard dirt and my lungs filled with fresh air.
Lately Jacob had been required to be gone more, including for overnights. However, since the weather had warmed, whenever he was home, we tried to run together, either early in the morning, before our days began, or later, before dinner. The first time he’d mentioned running was the first time I remembered the memory I’d shared with Elizabeth six months earlier. Though Jacob said we’d done it regularly before, the first run since I’d awoken had been when the frigid temperatures finally broke in April. Two months later we were still running together.
Reaching the end of the woods, we came to the small grassy area just before the innermost wall. With the sky bright above, Jacob reached for my hand, and brought us to a stop. Looking out to the wall, I thought about running a longer distance. Not leaving, just having more room.
“I’d ask if we could go to the hangar and run where we had more space, but . . .”
“You’d rather not be eaten by polar bears?” he asked with a grin.
“Yes, that’s a big deterrent.”
“But,” he teased, “just think how fast you’d run.”
Smiling, I leaned into his embrace.
Now that I was no longer in what he’d called a crash course of remembering, I loved the way he was when it was just the two of us. His wit and humor made me laugh. That didn’t mean he didn’t correct me; it meant it wasn’t often necessary.
As chosen, we had the responsibility of setting examples for the followers; thus in public we didn’t show affection. However, running, especially in the early morning, allowed us more freedom. Despite being outside, we were alone. I rose up on the tips of my running shoes and kissed his cheek. “You know, I love this.”
His features softened. “I know you do. So do I.”
I sighed. “It’s strange, but it’s one of the few things I think I remember.”
He kissed the top of my head and played with my still-short ponytail. “Who knows, maybe more will come back.”
With my hand still in his, we began walking and I confessed, “I’m not trying to be selfish, but I miss you when you’re gone. I wish you didn’t have to leave so often.”
“You know that I . . .” He’d mentioned that he’d been given more responsibility but couldn’t tell me more.
I nodded. “I know you can’t say and I’m not asking. But I’ve been wondering about something else.”
“You have? That inquisitive, intelligent mind of yours scares me. Sometimes you’re too smart for your own good.”
I didn’t say more; instead I pushed my lower lip out playfully.
Jacob kissed my pout. With sparkling eyes he said, “Go on. What have you been wondering?”
“Before my accident, did we ever talk about children?”
Jacob’s feet stopped. When I looked up, his face was ashen as if all the blood had drained from his cheeks. “We did,” he finally admitted.
“We did?”
“We decided that we weren’t ready.” He began walking again.
“We did, or you did?”
“Sara, even though that is questioning, it was a decision we made together.”
I sighed. “Then I’d like to ask to revisit our decision.”
He kissed my cheek. Releasing my hand, with a smirk, he lengthened his stride, and called over his shoulder, “If we hurry home, we could practice.” He shrugged. “I’d want to be sure we had it right first.”
Though I shook my head, I couldn’t stop the smile that pushed my cheeks higher. I was confident we had it right, but there was always room for practice. In no time we were running side by side, back through the woods, while long beams of light shone down, and back to the community on our way home. As our strides took us closer to our apartment, I thought about the babies at the day care. I’d been going there lately to meet with a female follower. Often I’d hold and rock one of the babies as she did the same and we talked. At first the small humans had seemed foreign, but now I found myself excited to go there. Their soft skin and sweet smell woke something inside me. Maybe it was like it was for Jacob with me. I wanted to love someone so much that I took full responsibility for them, like he had me.
As Jacob helped me out of my running clothes, I contemplated the birth control medication that I took every morning. The idea of not taking it seemed more and more appealing. I’d probably receive correction for making that decision without Jacob’s permission, but I knew my husband. Once he found out we had a baby coming, he wouldn’t stay upset; he couldn’t.
Once we were both completely naked, Jacob captured me in his arms and pulled me close. Though our skin was warm and slick from our run and the temperature wasn’t cool, as my breasts flattened against his chest, goose bumps peppered my flesh and my nipples beaded. The scent of desire mixed with his normal leather and musk created an intoxicating concoction. Inhaling, I inclined my face toward his and chuckled. “You know I need to be at the lab by nine and you need to be at Assembly.”
“An advantage of living in the community is that our commute time is minimal.”
I shook my head. He was right. We both could walk to our destinations in less than five minutes.
Loosening his embrace, Jacob tugged my hand. With a sly grin and his sexy, raspy voice, he said, “I think we both need to shower.”
“I thought you promised me a practice session?”
“I’m all for killing two birds with one stone.”
As Jacob turned on the rain of warm water, the muscles in his arms, back, and tight, bare rear flexed, causing my insides to liquefy at the magnificent man in front of me. Only fleetingly did I recall the showers after my accident. At that time my husband’s touch had been gentle but aloof, and he’d obviously been fearful of hurting me. No longer was he tentative—in any way. I was his to have and claim whenever he desired. Yet when he did, it was always with complete reverence, always c
onfirming that I was willing and ready for him. He needn’t have worried; just the sound of his raspy voice and the way his eyes shimmered with lust had me ready. I couldn’t recall ever having had an issue with being willing either.
That didn’t mean I wanted to forgo foreplay.
Under the warm spray, I leaned my head back as moans escaped my lips. With my breasts willingly exposed to his masterful inclinations, I ran my fingers through his dark hair and pulled his mouth closer. His stubbly cheeks created the perfect abrasion as a fever burned within me, making the water sizzle as it fell upon our hot skin. The sensations he produced as his tongue and lips teased my hardened nipples sent pulsations throughout my body. In time his ministrations turned to nips as he cupped my behind and pulled me tightly against him, capturing his hardness against my stomach.
No longer just ready, my body ached with need as my insides tensed to a painful pitch. “Please,” I begged.
A resonating growl filled the shower as his fingers probed, no doubt learning just how ready I was.
One finger, in and out, and then two . . .
I tasted his salty skin as my tongue and lips kissed and sucked his bristly neck. My grip on his broad shoulders tightened as my body mindlessly moved to his touch. When my breathing quickened and I was ready to quake in his grasp, his strong arms lifted me, pinning me to the wet tile. As he continued his erotic assault, eliciting my pleasure, pushing me toward the edge, my legs tightened around his waist. Just before I fell to ecstasy, his fingers disappeared, and we came together.
“O-oh, God, Jacob,” I moaned. My core clenched as I adjusted to accommodate his size. The delicious stretch filled me, electrifying every nerve in my body. From my fingers to my toes, sparks ignited.
“You feel so good,” Jacob said. “I’ll never get enough of being inside of you.”
“It’s where I want you,” I purred.
His lips captured mine, swallowing my words and sounds. Our tongues danced to the song our bodies sang. He created the rhythm, but the melody came from both of us. The combination of his resonating hiss, my whimpers of desire, and the slap of skin against skin filled the shower with the indistinguishable sound of two people moving in sync and lost in one another. Up and down we moved, until the sparks he’d ignited detonated.
As I teetered once again on the edge, my breath stuttered and my legs tightened.
He didn’t stop. He knew my body better than I did. He knew the signs that I was close. Nipping my breast, he commanded, “Come on, Sara, come for me.”
Fireworks, volcanoes, and stars falling from the sky paled in comparison to the explosion.
I cried out as every cell inside me discharged, leaving me shattered, held together only by his arms. Holding tight, I clung to his neck as wave after wave rippled through me, instigating uncontrollable spasms. Another thrust and I opened my eyes in time to watch his handsome face go from strain to utter bliss. Seconds later Jacob’s eyes met mine and I smiled.
Seeing him like this let me know just how much influence I had over my husband. He was in charge of our lives, but I held power too. With a sly grin, I admitted, “I may not be able to stand.”
His smile grew. “I’ve got you.”
Exhaling, I said, “I think you’ll have to let me go. I’m not exactly ready for work.”
“Oh, don’t worry.” He kissed my forehead. “I’ll help you with that too.”
My kisses trailed from his shoulder to his chest as he lowered my feet to the floor. “How did I get such a helpful husband?”
“Lucky, I guess,” Jacob said with a smirk as he reached for my shampoo.
I felt my cheeks rise, loving his expression and the tone of his voice. I didn’t know—and couldn’t ask—about things on the Assembly or with his flying, but I knew that lately he’d seemed stressed. It wasn’t anything he’d said, more what he hadn’t. The only thing he’d shared was that Xavier, the pilot who came to the Northern Light, had been ill and until there was a replacement, there was more work for him and Brother Micah.
Though I wanted to help, without being disobedient and questioning all I could do was help him relax. Running was one way, but I witnessed his expression of pure bliss only after we’d come together as one. Even if I hadn’t loved every second of making love to my husband—and I did—I’d willingly have given myself to see that.
As he massaged shampoo into my hair, the scent of flowers replaced the musk, and the warm water continued to rain.
“Do you think I could ever go away with you? So we wouldn’t need to be apart,” I asked.
Behind me Jacob tensed. I spun around, putting my small hands on his chest. “I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have said that.”
One side of his lips turned upward. “Don’t be sorry for wanting to be with me. I love having you with me.”
I exhaled and turned back around. “I know I have my job, and it couldn’t be done without permission, but if I could, I’d love that too.”
“No matter where we are, I love you.” He kissed my neck.
As I craned my neck toward his lips, my heart was full. We kissed. “I love you too.”
CHAPTER 32
Jacob
The small airstrip nestled in an unassuming valley of the Rocky Mountains was near Whitefish, Montana, as the crow flies. To drive from Whitefish to the Western Light required off-road vehicles. Accessing the Western Light’s campus by land was almost as difficult as driving to the Northern Light, in Alaska. That was Father Gabriel’s plan—keep them remote.
Passing the challenges Father Gabriel and the Commission had put before me, I’d finally earned the right to learn the specifics regarding the unique calling and activities of the Western Light. Not its fellowship or religious activities; those mirrored ours, as did the Eastern Light’s. To the unsuspecting tourist or resident of the nearby ski towns, the Western Light was nothing more than a group of religious zealots who kept to themselves. Those people had no idea of the billion-dollar operation happening in their midst.
The Light’s tax-exempt status, as well as the freedoms afforded by separation of church and state, kept all of The Light’s campuses a mystery to outsiders. Father Gabriel might have stated in the beginning that God had given him visions of The Light’s current greatness; however, even as an Assemblyman, I wondered if he had ever fathomed its current magnitude.
The Northern Light was the brightest, the most profitable. However, this campus, the Western Light, was doing better than many Fortune 500 companies, a fact most would disbelieve based solely on its outward appearance. The Western Light’s deceptive facade was even more important than ours. Though driving to the Western Light was difficult, flyovers were much more common in Montana than Alaska.
While our community concentrated on the production of product, the Western Light had a twofold goal. Primarily it packaged and distributed the pharmaceuticals. Its second goal was production of Preserve the Light preserves. Most of the females of the Western Light worked around the clock—literally, in shifts—producing and canning preserves. The jams and jellies were made from local berries, grown in the community. The Western Light followers who weren’t part of the chosen worked tirelessly in the gardens, the greenhouses, and the preserve plant, producing and canning. If they weren’t working there, they were in the packaging plant, preparing the pharmaceuticals for distribution.
Production of the preserves never stopped. To the outside world it was the acceptable source of income for The Light. To those who were chosen to understand, Preserve the Light was the cover for the illegal distribution of pharmaceuticals created at the Northern Light.
Members of the Western Light’s Assembly and Commission organized all the logistics. Father Gabriel had chosen the location of this campus perfectly, as Canada made the perfect market for low-cost medications. With Brothers Raphael and Benjamin’s research, the pills and capsules created by the followers of the Northern Light were indistinguishable from those produced by mainstream pharmaceutical giants. Sinc
e Father Gabriel’s followers worked not for worldly goods or money, but to maintain their standing in the community, production costs were minimal. The followers believed they were making the medications to help others.
They were, just not the others they thought.
When I first entered The Light, it was through the smallest campus, the Eastern Light, in Detroit. At that time I was led to assume that the production and sale of illegal drugs was the focus. Over the last three years I’d learned that illegal drugs were present, but only as the smallest piece of The Light’s revenue pie. The crack and meth produced and sold through the Eastern Light were more of a diversion—Father Gabriel’s backup plan. If the time ever came when the operation was discovered, each campus had enough paraphernalia to give the perception of a large illegal drug network. The investigation would satisfy the FBI and ICE, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Though they would boast the closing down of a large illegal drug organization, in reality they would have stopped only the tertiary source of income.
Even the preserves made more profit.
Until my recent promotion, I hadn’t known the breadth and scope of the entire operation, governed by Father Gabriel, on three campuses, with twelve Commissioners—four at each campus—and thirty-six Assemblymen—twelve at each campus. The hundreds of non-chosen followers were completely unaware.
Being Father Gabriel’s pilot offered me access that others didn’t enjoy. I had the pleasure of flying to Father Gabriel’s mansion outside Detroit, though I was never invited up to the big house; I’d seen the telecasts that gave the appearance of mundane surroundings while knowing they were recorded in the large luxurious mansion. Keeping those secrets had been some of my first tests. Passing those first tests undoubtedly aided my rise to the chosen.
Sharing my knowledge wouldn’t benefit anyone. It would result not only in my banishment, but also in the banishment of whomever I told, including other members of the chosen. I wouldn’t nor could I risk that. Micah and I were the only followers at the Northern Light who saw things away from that campus.