“Why did they make you drink that nasty stuff?” Luke asked softly, plating pancakes. He started spooning more batter into the pan.
I re-opened the bag of chocolate chips and sprinkled smile faces into all of them. “Silas called me on the house phone.”
North looked back at me over Luke’s head. “That’s it? You weren’t talking sex or something?”
I blushed, shaking my head and waving my hand in the air. “No, of course not.” Why would he ask that? Who did he think I was? “He barely said hello.”
“Is your voice going to be okay?” Luke asked carefully.
“She’ll be fine,” Kota said, holding the glass of water out for me. “It burned her throat but it should heal fully in a few days.”
I sipped the water, feeling the coolness relaxing my throat. “It’s not so bad right now,” I said, using a soft voice so it wouldn’t crack and they wouldn’t worry. I should have been uncomfortable. After yesterday when they hadn’t kicked me out, I was feeling a little unreal around them. What reason did they have to be so supportive and nice to me?
“Is that why she’s here?” North asked. He looked directly at Kota. There were looks exchanged between them that I simply couldn’t get. The silent communication worked with all seven of them. I studied their expressions, trying to catch on.
“She’s here because she’s welcome,” Kota said bluntly. “She’s my friend.”
North looked confused. “But she’s...”
“I like her,” Luke said. He flipped out some more pancakes. “She’s got good taste.”
I blushed. Were they trying to decide if I should stay or not?
“I’m not questioning your damn choice,” North said in a louder voice. “I’m asking if it is safe for her to be here if she’s going to get her throat burned out at home. I mean if that happens when someone calls, what happens when they find out she’s here alone with us?”
“It’s fine,” I said. “My mom hardly ever leaves her room. She thinks I spend all day in my bedroom. If I never went downstairs, I wouldn’t see them for a week or more.” There were times when I went up to my room with apples and crackers and wouldn’t leave just to see what happened. The only person that would ever notice was Marie, and she simply didn’t care.
North seemed dissatisfied with this. He frowned, twisting his lips as he finished up the bacon. He twisted his neck and I could hear his bones cracking a little as he flexed.
We set the table and sat down to eat. Luke filled my plate with pancakes and North insisted I drink milk instead of orange juice to spare my throat.
Seven guys. Seven friends. It still amazed me how they accepted me so quickly into the group. It was like once Kota said he was my friend, the others were on the same level. When you befriended one, you befriended them all.
After breakfast, I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket.
Nathan: “Are you awake?”
I smiled.
“Who is it?” North asked. He stood next to me as I was leaning against the kitchen counter.
“It’s Nathan,” I said. “He wants to know if I’m awake.”
“Tell him to get his ass over here,” North said.
I typed in the message.
Nathan: “I’ve got training. I can’t. I wanted to check in. Have fun. I’ll talk to you later.”
“What training?” I asked North, who was looking over my shoulder at the message. “Is it for the um... Jujitsu?”
North shrugged. “Probably.” His eyes flicked to Kota, who gave the slightest shake of his head.
What did that mean? These secret glances were making me nervous. Was there something they didn’t want to tell me? It felt like Nathan was doing something else. He didn’t want to tell me about it? I was tempted to text and ask but couldn’t imagine the right question. I was a friend, but I wasn’t privy to some information yet.
I needed to keep being nice, I told myself. I was just new to the group. Maybe everyone had secrets like me. It was still disappointing. I was sharing a lot of my own secrets with them. Did they not trust me with theirs?
Silas showed up as promised that afternoon. Victor and Gabriel called to update us that they finished the tour and they were going home to take care of stuff so they wouldn’t be around today. There was no word from Nathan but they didn’t seem to be concerned. I thought about sending him a text to say hello and to ask how he was doing at training but the guys kept me so busy I didn’t have a chance.
I was sitting on the couch downstairs. Luke was on my left. Silas was on my right, his arm behind me against the back of the couch. North and Kota were on the floor in front of us. We were watching the roadrunner and the coyote battling it. I had taken my sandals off and put them by the door. I felt North’s hand on my foot. He traced the edge of my small toe. At least I think he was. He was stone still otherwise, I wasn’t sure what to do. As it was Silas’s arm warmed my shoulders. I couldn’t calm myself down enough to focus on cartoons.
Would I ever feel normal around them and as comfortable as they seemed to be around me?
It made me nervous having Silas there. He didn’t say anything about me talking so softly and I tried my best to be quiet and not give him a reason to ask about my voice. Mostly I didn’t want Kota or anyone to tell him what happened. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel bad. If I could save him from that, I would be forever grateful.
We walked Max together. We played a board game. We talked about school. Before I knew it, the time was slipping by and Kota was telling us his mom would be home soon.
“Not that you all can’t stay,” he said.
“Nuh uh,” Luke said, stretching his arms over his head. “Your mom works hard. She deserves to get home and relax. If we’re still here, she’d insist on making us dinner.”
“That’s not a bad thing,” Silas said. “I like her cooking.”
“So do I,” Luke replied. “But I’m thinking that she probably doesn’t want four extra people here.”
Kota tried to suggest that it was okay but the decision was made by North this time and Kota didn’t push the issue. We all needed to get ready for registration tomorrow anyway.
North and Luke left first on North’s motorcycle. Luke promised to text me later. Kota and Silas walked with me outside. We stood together just inside of the garage, looking out at the street.
“Will we be able to approach you at registration?” Kota asked. “What would your dad think if we were talking?”
I flicked my eyes at Silas. Did he already know about this part, too? Would he be surprised to hear my mom was so strict? “He’d ask questions. He’s not as bad as my mom but he’d tell her about it. I think it’ll be fine since we’re in a public place. I mean I have to go to school. She can’t do anything about that.”
“You should leave your phone at home,” Kota suggested. “We’ll be there pretty early. We’ll keep someone by the door to watch out for you.”
My eyes widened and I looked at Silas. He was leaning against the frame of the garage door, his arms folded, looking serious.
“Why?” I asked. “I mean, not that it isn’t nice of you. But you make it sound like I need to be babysat.”
Kota smiled. “Have you heard of this school we’re going to?”
I shook my head. “It’s just a public school, right?”
Kota pushed his glasses up on his nose, his finger remained on the bridge as he talked. “There’s over two thousand kids that will be attending this year. Over half are from poor neighborhoods. They've got so many kids, they built trailers in the back for additional classroom space. There’s not enough lockers to go around. There’s usually only enough for the seniors.” He frowned. “The hallways have been known to be pretty unsafe. Fighting breaks out a lot. We were planning on sticking by each other throughout the year. With you here now, we’ll have to coordinate carefully. Someone like Silas could handle himself, but I wouldn’t want to leave you alone. At least not between classes.”
I
felt my mouth form an ‘o’ shape. “That’s horrible.” I thought for a moment. “Is that why Gabriel was talking about the private school?”
Both of their heads jerked around to look at me that it surprised me. I felt my eyebrows going up.
“What did Gabriel say?” Kota asked.
I shrugged. “He just mentioned something about a private school he was thinking about maybe attending next year or something like that. He didn’t say the name or anything. I wasn’t sure if he was serious.”
Kota shot a glance at Silas. Silas’s face was blank.
“Well he’s definitely going to the public school this year,” Kota said.
Before I could ask anything else, a car pulled up in the drive. Silas and I walked out of the garage to get out of the way. Kota followed us. Erica pulled her car into the garage. She smiled at us as she got out and waved.
“Are you two leaving? I could make dinner,” she offered. Her smile was warm but her face did look tired. She wore a nurse’s uniform. Her name tag was still pinned to her chest.
“We can’t stay,” I said quickly. “We’ve got registration tomorrow. We should get home and be ready for it.”
“Good kids,” she said. “Come over sometime this weekend. I’ll make cookies. You too, Silas.”
Silas nodded to her. “I’ll always come over for cookies.”
We said goodbye to her and Kota. Kota collected a bag for his mom and disappeared inside with her. Silas and I walked together down the driveway. A dark blue Ford sedan was parked along the street in front of the house. We stumbled over and stood next to it. I was alone with Silas. My heart was pounding again. I stuffed my hands into the front pocket of my hoodie to hide my rattling fingers. We’re friends, I told myself. Friends hang out. I’d been with him all day. Why was I feeling so nervous?
“I like those clothes on you,” Silas offered. “It looks sporty. It suits you.”
I smiled at the compliment. “Thank you.” I wanted to say something in return but nothing sounded cool enough. He was wearing another pair of jeans and a baseball t-shirt. “What’s your favorite team?” I managed to get out.
He looked at me. “For what sport?”
“Baseball.”
“Red Sox, mostly. Depends on who’s on the team.”
“What was up with their pitcher last year? The one from Japan? He played for two games and then they traded him.”
His broad mouth turned up at the corner. “You were watching?”
“Not all the time but I catch it every now and again. I’ll watch the World Series,” I said. “My grandfather used to watch every game.”
“Have you ever been to one? A pro game?” Silas asked.
I leaned with my back against the car and fumbled with the phone in my pocket. “Nope.”
He smiled. “We should go some time. Though I think the closest professional team is in Atlanta. Maybe North Carolina.”
I felt my lips parting and I was looking at him. Again I wasn’t sure if he was asking me on a date or as friends or if he was just talking in general. I cursed to myself for being so out of touch with people that I couldn’t tell the difference.
“I’d like that,” I said. It was all I could think to say.
Silas moved to stand in front of me, the toes of his tennis shoes matched up with mine in my sandals. “Sang?”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“You’re not mad at me, are you?”
My mouth popped open in surprise and I pulled my hand from my pocket to lightly touch at the base of my throat. “What for? Why would I be mad at you?”
He shifted on his feet, looking away. The breeze picked up at some of the strands of his black hair, and it drifted into his eyes. “I left you alone at the mall. Those guys... If Kota hadn’t found you... And then your mom and the vinegar.” He huffed and turned away, his hands digging into his pockets. “I’m sorry.”
“Silas,” I said softly. He knew. Did Kota tell him? They were best friends since forever, I remembered. Someone told him. I should have realized it would happened. They were honest with each other. With effort, I touched his arm. This is what friends do, right? The move was so awkward for me, I wasn’t sure how long I should be doing it. “I’m not mad at you. I’m fine. Really. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the vinegar. I was worried about you.”
He turned his face back to me. He didn’t seem surprised by my touch, but he was blushing. “You worried about me?”
I nodded. “After all the trouble I caused at the mall, I was worried you wouldn’t like me. I was happy you called. My mother... I can’t help what she does and it wasn’t your fault. But I’m fine. My voice is fine.”
A soft shimmer washed over his eyes. “You thought I wouldn’t like you because of that stupid kid?”
I tried to warm my smile up for him although I was shaking from being nervous. “You were nice to me,” I said. “Next time I go with you to the mall, I’ll stick close by. We shouldn’t have left you two alone. I was worried then, too. I thought maybe you’d gotten hurt. We should have stayed and helped you.”
He laughed, reaching for my hand that was still touching his arm and gave it a light squeeze. “What would you do in a fight?”
I smirked and tugged my hand but he held strong to me. I tried to playfully punch at him with my other hand to get him to let go. He snatched up my other wrist. He twisted me until my back was pressed up against his chest. With my arms crossed, I was pinned against him. I felt his breath on the back of my head, and his lips moving against my hair.
“Would you know what to do?” he asked me, his deep voice dropping an octave. “If I was someone you didn’t know, would you be able to get away?”
I didn’t want to get away, I thought. I felt the heat of his body pressed up against me. I was barely tall enough to rest my head against his chest. I did squirm. I pretended to want to be released. While it was warm outside, it didn’t matter to me. In my heart, this felt so good, like a warm blanket on a cold day. No, it was much better than a blanket. It left my whole body tingling and feeling alive. My heart was in my ears and thumping loudly. “I’d have to stomp on your feet,” I replied.
He chuckled. “Try it.”
“No!”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Silas.”
His body tensed behind me. I stopped wriggling. We stood together like that for what seemed like an eon in the moment. Slowly he let go of me. I turned to face him. His large brown eyes fixed on mine. His fingers flexed and he reached out toward my face for a moment but stopped short. His arms dropped to his side. He smiled down at me.
“You’re not like other girls, Sang.”
I frowned softly. How could he say that about me? Did I do something wrong? “I am a girl, though. I know my family is a little weird but I’m normal enough.” I was lying through my teeth. I didn’t feel normal at all. I just desperately wanted to be like everyone else. I didn’t want parents who were agoraphobic. I was doing my best to be as average as everyone else so I could be accepted. Was I failing?
“You’re far from normal,” he said quietly.
My eyes went wide. “You think I’m strange?”
“Yeah,” he said, blinking at me. “I mean, different.”
I scoffed.
“It’s not a bad thing.”
I shrugged, stuffing my hands into my pocket again. I didn’t know what to say to him. He just called me weird. Weird like my family. Weird was what unwanted people were. Weird stopped me from having friends for such a long time.
His brows creased and he blew out a perplexed breath of air. “I have to get going.”
“Okay.” I was still a little hurt but I was sorry to see him go.
He fished his keys out of his pocket and opened his car door. “I’ll see you tomorrow at registration,” he said. He got in, started his car and drove off.
I walked home alone.
That night, the house was fairly quiet. My parents
were in bed. Marie’s light was off. No one had noticed I was gone all day. I was grateful for it.
I took out what I was going to wear for registration the next day, a light blue skirt and a nicer white blouse that buttoned up in the front and had a soft collar. It was thanks to Gabriel’s suggestions and the pictures I sent to him of what was in my closet. He had an opinion about every piece I owned. I had a list, thanks to Kota, of the classes I wanted to take. When there was nothing else to do, I was sprawled out on the floor. It was after eleven at night and I still wasn’t sleepy. I crawled to the corner of my room near the window, looking through the apps on the phone just to see what was available for free. I didn’t want to download anything that would lead to more expenses for the guys.
The phone vibrated in my hand.
Nathan: “Are you awake?”
Sang: “Yes.”
Nathan: “Are you in your room?”
The question got me to sit up.
Sang: “Yup.”
Nathan: “Your window is the second one from the left?”
Where was this going? And how did he know?
Sang: “If you’re facing the house from the street, yes. Above the porch.”
I waited for an answer. When nothing came back after a while I sent another text.
Sang: “Why did you want to know?”
Silence again.
Sang: “Nathan?”
I was just about to give up on him when I heard a gentle tap at my window. It startled me so badly that I jumped sideways, dropping my phone, my head twisting toward the window.
With my light on, I couldn’t see if anyone was there. I got up off the floor, approaching it slowly, my hand still on my heart, until I was close enough to where I was blocking the light from the window. At first all I saw was the silhouette. Nathan was kneeling on the roof, looking inside.