“Indeed I do. I’ll leave you to your milking, or whatever the hell it is you do.”
With that, he handed the box of vials to Navan and bounded out of the room, but not before he’d leaned in to plant a soft kiss on Nova’s head. I didn’t have the heart to tell him to back off my baby; the shifter was already acting like a second father.
“Oh God, my daughter really is going to call him Uncle Mort, isn’t she?” I said.
Navan laughed. “He’s not so bad.”
“You’ve changed your tune,” I remarked, arching an eyebrow.
“What can I say? Fatherhood has changed me.”
I watched him feed Nova the rest of the vial before he got up off the bed and brought her over to me. He paused, gazing down into her eyes. There was a hesitancy in his manner that confused me.
“I’m just going to take a quick shower to get all this sweat and grime off me,” he said, glancing nervously at me. “A change of clothes just isn’t cutting it. I’m pretty sure I’ve got the last of that vomited blood stuck to me somewhere.”
I reached for Nova, and Navan settled her into my arms. “Go ahead. I might take one after.”
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay, looking after her on your own?”
So, there it was. Navan’s doubt in me. I might have been a recovering addict, but I wasn’t incompetent. I could look after my own child. My stomach dropped, wondering if that was precisely what social services had said to my mother, when she’d first had me. I shook off the uneasy feeling, trying to push down the anger rising through me. How dare he question my mothering skills! He hadn’t been through any of what I’d been through, so how dare he say a word about it!
“I’ll be fine,” I said, with clipped politeness.
“Are you sure? I can wait until Mort comes back again, or go when Lazar comes later for a check-in.” He looked antsy, hesitant to leave us alone for even a minute. It took everything I had not to snap at him.
I smiled sweetly. “Honestly, I’ll be fine. You go and get clean. I’m looking forward to my turn, once you’re out.”
He dipped and kissed me on the forehead, placing another on Nova’s cheek. “Okay, if you’re sure. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He paused in the doorway to the bathroom. “I do, you know? I love you so much it feels like my heart could burst.” He smiled shyly. “You’re the mother of my child, and the wife I’ve always dreamt of, but you’re also the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. I can’t even put into words how amazing I think you are. I’ve never seen anyone as strong as you, pushing through the birth the way you did, keeping calm even though me and Mort had no idea what we were doing. Just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more, you go and do something like that.”
I blushed, my anger dissipating. “It means a lot to hear you say that.”
“Well, you deserve to be told. I know I’m not very good with words, but you deserve to be told as often as possible.”
“Go on, before I start blubbering. That shower is waiting,” I urged him, chuckling.
He disappeared into the bathroom, the door closing behind him. I waited for the sound of the shower to start, the hot water streaming down and hitting the glass of the cubicle, before I jumped up and dove for the box of vials that Mort had brought. I was still holding Nova in my arms when I downed the contents of a bottle, tasting the sugary sweetness of the sweetblood in its raw form. I’d never tasted anything more delicious.
If you’re going to be a good mother to Nova, you need to have some mental clarity. You can’t go around shaking and shivering all the time. What if you drop her? It’s not as though the sweetblood makes you crazy or prompts you to do stupid things. Nova needs you to drink this, because she needs to have her mom back. You can’t be that person without the sweetblood, you know you can’t, so just swallow it and get on with your day. It was so easy to rationalize it, the silky liquid just slipping down the back of my throat.
Afterward, guilt overwhelmed me, turning my stomach into knots. I’d consumed it, barely thinking twice about what I was doing. My body had craved it, and I’d given in, regardless of the effects it would have on me when I tried to withdraw again. I wondered if there was some way that Nova and I could both dine on sweetblood, to satisfy our need for it. Perhaps it wouldn’t be too weird if I joined her in a sweetblood diet.
You’re just like your mother, another voice whispered in my head. I bet she rationalized it all like this, promising each time would be the last. And where did that leave her? Having to fight to see her daughter, forced to turn up on her doorstep in the hopes she’d accept a check and welcome her back into her life.
No, this had to stop.
I lay Nova down in her makeshift crib, a crate lined with pillows, and waited on the edge of the bed with the box of vials in my hands. As I sat there, I listened to the sound of the cascading shower, thinking about my birthparents. I’d been so hard on them for so long, and while I didn’t fully forgive them for their abandonment and selfishness, part of me was starting to see things from their side. Addiction was, ironically, a tough pill to swallow. Their addiction had lasted far longer than mine, and yet… looking at Nova, I knew there was one reason to battle against it all. It was a choice they hadn’t made until it was too late, and I wasn’t going to make the same mistake.
“What happened?” Navan asked upon seeing my expression, as soon as he’d come back from his shower. His eyes flitted to the box in my hands.
“I drank one. I couldn’t help it—I’ve felt so miserable, not being my usual self, and I wanted the pain and discomfort to stop,” I replied. “It was a stupid, impulsive thing to do, and I knew I had to tell you as soon as I’d done it because, if I’m going to overcome this, I need your help.”
“I’ll make those monsters pay for what they’ve done to you,” Navan whispered venomously, crossing the room to kneel in front of me. He reached for my hands, looking deep into my eyes. “I swear, I’ll always be here for you and for Nova, no matter how hard things get. I’ll help you through this, because I know this isn’t your fault. They did this to you, and they did this to our daughter, and they won’t get away with it.”
Dressed in nothing but a towel, he leaned up to kiss me on the lips, his hands cupping my face. His muscles rippled as he kissed me, his abdomen pressing against my legs. With the injections that Navan was giving me, things were healing after Nova’s traumatic birth, but I wasn’t sure when I’d feel normal enough to resume our usual passion again. If this kiss was anything to go by, I hoped it wouldn’t be long.
He’d just broken away to get changed into a t-shirt and pants when the beep of the retinal scan buzzed, and the door slid open. Ezra stormed in a second later, a cruel smile on his lips. He looked tired, but that didn’t seem to be deterring him from his victory lap. Judging by the smug expression on his face, he had good news… though I wasn’t sure it’d be good for us.
“You’ll be thrilled to know the immortality elixir is coming along nicely,” he said, without any preamble. “I’ve got to say, that blood you created is really something. You must be so proud that you are the ones responsible for the immortal future of the Vysanthean race. When we spread across the universe, and all these planets fall to their knees before us, that will all be because of you.”
Navan stepped toward him. “The elixir is to promote peace, not war.”
“You’re an idiot if you believe that. Looks like you share your uncle’s trite views,” Ezra mocked. “Of course, it’ll start out as peaceful, but power is a beast that must be fed. Even if we don’t go looking for a fight, we’ll eventually have to seek out new pastures for our people. Immortality tends to expand a population.”
“What are you even doing here, Ezra? Have you just come to gloat?” I shot back. “If you are, you can leave.”
He grinned. “I just came to tell you that, soon, we won’t have any need for the three of you. Plus, I wanted to come and decide who I should kil
l first.” He let his gaze drift toward Nova. My anger flared. “I suppose she would be the easiest.”
“Don’t you dare,” I hissed, grasping Nova’s crate.
“Or maybe I’ll start with you so you don’t have to be there when I slice open her tiny throat,” he said. “Would that be kinder?”
“Get out.” My voice simmered with barely concealed threat.
“How about I execute Navan first, and make the two of you watch? He’s the one responsible for all of this, right? None of it could’ve happened without him, unless I made one of my men do the despicable act. Naturally, I’d never be so cruel.” He licked his lips. “But you know how desperate times can call for desperate measures, and they haven’t seen their wives in so long. Maybe I’ll keep you around for further… experimentation.”
“Get out!” I screamed, as Navan lunged for Ezra, knocking him to the ground.
With one hard shove, I pushed Nova’s crate under the bed, knowing she’d be safe there, before whirling around to help Navan pin Ezra to the ground. On his belt, I saw the flash of a knife, grasping for it before he could wrestle out of Navan’s grip. The blade snapped free of its sheath. Wielding it in one hand, I dove forward until I was straddling his chest, one of my knees digging into his sternum. It was an Aksavdo move that served to weaken a coldblood opponent by blocking the flow of blood, while Navan was immobilizing him with another Aksavdo move, pushing down hard on the sides of his neck, bringing him close to the edge of unconsciousness.
The position was eerily familiar. Beneath me, Ezra’s eyes were wide and terrified, his mouth opening and closing like that of a beached fish. A flicker of Pandora’s face flashed in my mind, her eyes looking up at me in the same way from the floor of the Draconian temple on Zai. I supposed there was a cruel poetry to what I was doing, though I wasn’t about to wait around for him to plead for his life. He didn’t deserve the privilege.
So much for no violence, I thought. With one almighty roar, I plunged the dagger into the base of Ezra’s throat. He looked at me in surprise, just as his sister had, though a curious smirk dragged up the weakening corners of his mouth. Blood bloomed from the wound, oozing out across his neck. I left the blade in as he began to gargle and choke, more blood spewing from the gash, spilling down his chest, while his body convulsed beneath me.
At last, he stilled, his eyes going blank.
“Did we… Did we kill him?” I whispered, shuffling away from him and standing up.
Navan nodded in disbelief, joining me as we stared down at Ezra’s dead body. “I think we did.”
“What do we do now? If we hold him up to the scanner, do you think it’ll fool the machine into letting us out?”
“We could try.” Navan looked the way I felt: completely shell-shocked. After so much hurt and pain and suffering at the hands of the new rebel leader, it was finally over. We could deal with Aurelius later, but Ezra was dead.
“No need,” Ezra said, blinking rapidly as he twisted his head from side to side, stretching the muscles in his neck. “You won’t be getting out of here anytime soon, no matter how many times you try to kill me.”
Reaching up, he took out the blade in a sickening display of bravado, the wound closing up behind. He wiped the edge on his shirt, before sliding the knife back into its sheath. With a grin, he jumped to his feet, his fingertips feeling for the swiftly closing wound.
“What a waste of a perfectly good shirt,” he mused, glancing down at the mess I’d made of him.
I was too shocked to move or speak.
“How—?” Navan stuttered. Both of us were rooted to the spot.
“Several of my soldiers have already died and risen. Naturally, I wasn’t going to be the test subject on a matter so experimental,” he explained, chuckling cruelly. “I’ve maimed myself a couple of times, to see how the wounds healed, but I wanted to be sure I’d get back up before I came here to try it out on you two. You should’ve seen your faces—so much hope, so quickly dashed.”
I felt numb.
“More than anything, I wanted to know what it felt like to die at someone else’s hand, you know? It’s not the same if you have to do it yourself, am I right?” He was getting smugger by the second. “Oh, and the space station is preparing to enter Vysanthe’s orbit, so brace yourselves for a bit of turbulence. The rungs of the station will start to separate into individual vessels, and then they’ll be landing. So, all in all, an exciting day.” I wanted to plunge the knife into his throat again, if only to stop him from talking.
How could we have moved so far and so fast without noticing? The station never felt like it was going anywhere, but, apparently, it had been traveling through space all this time. Glancing at the porthole, I wondered if it was a real window at all, or merely a projection to make us think we were stationary. Another cruel trick played to perfection by Ezra.
“What are you going to do with us?” I rasped, still reeling.
He shrugged. “You’ll be pleased to know that, despite you plunging a knife into my throat, I plan to keep you around a while longer, in case I need the two of you to make another bundle of ingredients. I was only joking about setting my men on you. They aren’t animals, unlike your lover over here.”
Staring at him in horror, the universe I knew began to crumble away, replaced with a nightmarish vision of shadow and destruction—a universe of burning planets and endless death. Ezra and the rebels were immortal now, and they were gearing up for a fight they couldn’t lose.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Ezra left shortly afterward, leaving us alone in the bedchamber to let his twisted visit sink in. I pulled Nova back out from under the bed, checking that she was safe. She was sleeping soundly in the crate, undisturbed by what had happened with Ezra. I, on the other hand, was very disturbed. I couldn’t shake the image of him rising up like a mummy in an old horror flick. It would probably end up giving me nightmares for weeks.
“How can we be landing on Vysanthe?” I whispered, keeping my tone calm so Nova didn’t feel the stress of the situation.
Navan walked over to the porthole and pried it off the wall. Behind it, there was nothing but metal. “They’ve been fooling us all this time. I thought it was weird that the engines were so loud, but I guess I stopped noticing them after a while.”
I nodded. “I thought they were powering the cloaking shield, but evidently they were pushing us through the universe at breakneck speed.”
“I wasn’t sure space stations could handle deep-space technology, but they must have found a way to upgrade the engines without the structure breaking apart. It’s probably why it took a little longer than a ship like the Asterope would’ve.”
“Do you think the queens know they’re here yet?”
Navan grimaced. “If they don’t, they will soon.”
“I don’t like any of this,” I murmured. “They’re immortal now, right? So, that means there’s no way the queens can win?”
“I doubt it. Theoretically, there must be a way to kill them, but they’ve narrowed the target to pretty much nothing.”
I thought back to all the ways vampires in human folklore could be killed, but Vysantheans weren’t exactly vampires. I doubted a stake to the heart could do much if a knife to the throat couldn’t kill one.
“Do you think they can run around headless?” I asked.
“That’s what I mean—there must be limitations,” he mused. “I doubt they could live without lungs or a heart, or a brain for that matter, but then, I don’t know what the elixir is actually capable of. It might be able to regrow organs and limbs without much trouble, or maybe it can only heal some things. Without seeing their experimental journals, it’s hard to tell.”
“Well, we know one thing for sure: they’re going to test those limitations as soon as we land.”
“How could that much evil come from something so good and pure?” he wondered aloud, gazing at Nova sleeping in the crate.
I smiled sadly. “I was just thinking the sam
e thing.”
Fifteen minutes later, the bedroom door opened, and Lazar walked in. Navan and I were nestled on the bed, making the most of our time with Nova before we landed on Vysanthe and everything changed for good. She was dozing on my chest, Navan’s arms wrapped around us both.
I looked up as the one-eyed coldblood entered, but I didn’t bother to get up. It was hard to know what to make of Lazar, and my feelings toward him were mixed. On the one hand, he was the one who’d run from the opposite side of the station to stop Ezra from killing Navan, saving my life and Nova’s in the process. On the other hand, it was his knowledge, his deductions, and his blood replicator that were in the process of creating an immortal coldblood army. It didn’t matter how noble his reasoning was; the reality he’d created was a million miles away from his so-called utopia.
“Good morning,” Lazar chirped.
“Happy with your monsters, are you?” I replied coldly.
He chuckled. “Very amusing, Riley. They aren’t monsters, they are soldiers, and they’ll forge our way to peace,” he said, with alarming confidence. “As soon as the war with the queens is won, the elixir will be distributed to every civilian in both halves of the planet. There’ll be no reason against us uniting, once the violence is over with.”
“I didn’t think it was possible, Uncle, but you’re actually getting more delusional, the closer to destruction we get,” Navan said, shaking his head.
Lazar smiled. “When everyone is immortal, destruction will be a thing of the past.”
“I wasn’t just talking about lives. There’s more to a planet than the people who live on it—there are the ecosystems, the cities, the architecture, the flora, the fauna. So much of that will wither and die if our population keeps expanding, with nobody dying. You’re upsetting the natural balance,” Navan insisted.
“Your father used to say that to me,” Lazar said frostily.
“Perhaps, for once, he was right.”
The one-eyed coldblood shrugged. “Well, it doesn’t matter what you or your father think about your ‘balance.’ I’m shifting the scales.”