“Does real fresh air even still exist?”
Tanner stood up from the bed and put out his hand. “Come with me and you’ll find out.”
I couldn’t say no.
But by the time we reached aboveground, our heads were clear. Mine felt clearer than it had in a while. And it became apparent that Tanner did have a destination in mind. He slipped us into the Jeep, then gunned through the silent, sleeping city.
“This feels wonderful,” I said, leaning out the window, letting the air whip past my face. “Great idea.”
He glanced away from the road for a second, a smile on his lips. “Oh we’re not there yet. But we’re close. Just hang on.”
When we pulled up to the north end of the palace of Westminster and I laid eyes on the sand-colored brickwork of the Elizabeth Tower’s base, I realized what Tanner had in mind.
He directed my gaze upward. “What do you say?” he said. “Feel like a climb?”
We were at Big Ben. Its cast iron spire pointed high into the dark night sky.
I remembered when Mary and I had come as girls, counting the limestone steps up to the top. There were 334 of them.
I answered Tanner by leading the way toward the tower’s thick concrete base.
The clock itself had been frozen at eleven fifteen since the Seventeen Days, its hands and dials never moving again, a permanent marker of the moment that our lives were forever changed. But the structure remained, protruding up from the ground like a tombstone for the entire city. “Come on,” I said. We slipped inside the building, to the foot of the staircase that tourists used to pay to visit, the signs at its foot cracked and moldy.
Then we climbed.
And climbed.
At the top, the bell tower provided the most stunning view of London possible. Tanner and I sat side by side, looking out. From sixty meters high, even this city—destroyed by the Seventeen Days, occupied by an army wielding steel and fire—looked beautiful and peaceful.
Tanner took my hand in his, and I didn’t pull it away.
We sat there in silence for a while, looking out at the city, breathing the clean, sharp air. I glanced over at Tanner, at the moonlight on his face, his square jaw and thick-lashed eyes. We had all suffered during the Seventeen Days, but Tanner’s story broke my heart. To be in a foreign country, where you didn’t even speak the language, and lose your parents—and the entire world—all at once. To be taken in by someone as violent and ruthless as Demkoe Ryker. It was a miracle that Tanner hadn’t been brainwashed like Ami and Tindra, that he still had that spark of goodness in him. Whoever Tanner’s parents were, they must have been incredible people to leave an eight-year-old with such an unshakable faith in the world, even after everything that had happened. It amazed me, Tanner’s ability to be full of such warmth, such caring for others, despite all the suffering he had seen.
Tanner turned, catching me staring at him. And then he leaned in close and brought his lips to mine.
He paused for a moment, giving me a chance to pull away, but I leaned forward in answer, kissing him back, like a drowning person who’s just been given water. The sensation was electric. The kiss shivered down my whole body, from my lips all the way to my toes.
And then I remembered why I couldn’t kiss Tanner, and felt guilty. I pulled away.
“Tanner, I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m just … not ready for this.”
Tanner shook his head, looking down. “I meant no disrespect,” he said. “I just couldn’t help myself.”
I couldn’t really help myself either. “I’m not angry,” I said. “I just can’t.”
“Is there someone else?” he asked, and the look in his eyes hurt so much that I almost leaned in to kiss him again.
“Yes. No. Sort of.” I sighed, looking out over the dark city. I owed Tanner more than a one-word explanation. “There was someone else. His name was Wesley. But I lost him, in the attack on the ship, that first night.”
“Eliza,” he said, fumbling for words. Tanner never fumbled for words. “I’m so sorry.”
“I loved him,” I said simply. Even though I never told him while he was alive, I thought. “That’s why I just … need to move slowly now. I’m still in so much pain.”
“I understand,” Tanner said gently. “And I want to be there for you, through it all. But Eliza”—he settled his eyes firmly on mine—“I’m willing to wait as long as it takes. I’ll do anything I can to help you save your sister and get your country back.” He paused, letting his words sink in. “I’m not going anywhere. Sorry, but you’re stuck with me.”
I smiled. “Okay,” I said, which was all I could manage at the moment. But Tanner understood. My heart was beating fast inside my chest.
We settled into silence again, looking out over the city. Sensing my mood, Tanner let a little more space come between us, a few minutes of quiet.
Then he said, “You’re still thinking about those blueprints, aren’t you?”
I was. He knew me far too well for having only known me a few weeks.
“Those letters and numbers,” I said. “If only we could crack the code. RC1800.”
“Maybe the letters are an abbreviation for something,” Tanner said, trying to be helpful. “The numbers could be a date, or a time.”
I hadn’t thought of that. Eighteen hundred. Eighteen hundred hours. Six o’clock.
RC. And then it hit me.
“The royal chapel,” I said. My voice echoed outward across the London sky. “The rebels are going to bomb the wedding.”
Tanner’s face paled. “Won’t that blow up the entire palace? Isn’t the chapel part of the palace, connected to it?”
“Yes, but the palace was built in two parts in two separate time periods. The main house was built long before they added the chapel.” I pictured the blueprints I’d seen in my mind, imagining the pencil line that separated the new and old construction. The tunnels they had mapped out were the ones beneath the chapel. “Depending on how they set the dynamite, they could bring down the whole chapel while leaving the palace intact.”
“But why the chapel?” Tanner asked.
“Because everyone the rebels want dead will be inside it for the wedding,” I said, my voice sharp with anger.
“Oh my God,” Tanner said. “That means—”
“Yes. They’re going to kill Mary too.”
26
Tanner could barely keep up with me as I barged into Silver’s car during his five a.m. breakfast.
Silver jumped back as I threw his train car door open, dropping his knife to the floor with a clatter. A huddle of bodyguards quickly raised their weapons, but he gestured for them to lower them.
“Yes, Princess?” he asked. Tanner stuck close to my hip.
“You’re going to blow up the palace,” I said. “The day of the royal wedding.”
“You’re pretty smart for a princess,” Silver said. “Please, have a seat.”
“So it’s true?” I asked, ignoring him. It came out sounding much higher-pitched than I’d intended.
“The wedding is scheduled for this evening,” Silver said calmly. “The chapel is unbarricaded. And at six p.m. sharp we’ll know exactly where Demkoe will be standing. Saying his I dos.”
“But what about Mary?” I demanded.
Silver shrugged. “What about the clergyman, the organist, all the guests? I don’t hear you crying out for any of them. Is it only people you know, Princess, whose lives are of value?”
“There has to be another way,” Tanner said.
Silver shook his head. “There isn’t.”
“Can’t you just set off the bomb a little earlier?” I pleaded, hating the tone in my voice, the fact that my emotions were getting the best of me. “Before Mary enters the chapel? Demkoe and his men will already be assembled for the ceremony, awaiting her entrance. That’s custom.”
“I refuse to take that chance,” Silver said. “Six o’clock sharp is a guarantee. Any time before that, anything can go wro
ng.”
Another rebel entered the train car at that moment. The one with the scowl, who had tried to hide the blueprints from me when he caught me peeking at them. We locked eyes before I returned my attention to Silver.
“Traditionally, the groom doesn’t see his bride the day of the wedding,” I went on. “Not until they’re at the altar. Demkoe will want to follow British customs, to make the wedding seem legitimate. The bombs in the chapel could be set off before Mary even enters. Then she’ll be saved and you can still take out Demkoe.”
Silver frowned before responding. “If that’s how the wedding plays out, sure, Mary would be saved. But we have no way of knowing what customs and traditions Demkoe will choose to follow.”
“Yes, we do!” I exclaimed, thinking of Demkoe wearing General Wallace’s decorated uniform, smoking my father’s cigars, sitting in my father’s throne. “You don’t know him like I do. I promise this is what he’ll do—”
“Enough!” Silver said, slamming his fist on the table. The scrambled eggs on his plate shook in the aftermath. “I can’t take that risk. I’m sorry to have to sacrifice your sister, Eliza, but it’s for the greater good. It’s the only way to ensure that Demkoe will be killed. We may never have a chance like this again. If you’re truly committed to our cause—to the safety of this country—then you’ll understand.”
I was speechless.
Silver washed down his eggs with a gulp of tea. “I know this is difficult for you to accept. But we’ve all had to make sacrifices. We’ve all lost people we love.”
He wasn’t even looking at me anymore. He spoke directly into his plate, at the sausage link he was cutting into tiny bite-size pieces. “It’s not always easy to do the right thing,” he said. “But at times like these you must learn to be selfless.”
No. This wasn’t about me being selfish. I’d already lost almost everyone who’d ever mattered to me. Mary and Jamie were all I had left. And now, Tanner.
“Now if you’ll excuse me.” Silver gave a nod to the two rebels who’d raised their guns earlier. “I’d like to finish my breakfast in peace.”
“No—” I protested, as the guards dragged me kicking and yelling out the door, locking it once we were outside.
“Let me in!” I banged on its steel frame, screaming in some kind of wild, uncontrollable rage. “Come on! Let me back inside!”
Then someone was pulling from behind, peeling me off the door—familiar hands, rough with calluses but handling me with care. Tanner. I started to relax into him.
But then I heard Tanner yell out, “Hey, get your hands off her!”
Who’s holding me, then? I wondered, spinning around. It was such a familiar touch.
Time suddenly seemed to slow down. Tanner was off to the side. He’d drawn his pistol. And he was aiming it at—
It couldn’t be. No, it wasn’t possible.
“Wesley?” I said.
Tanner lowered his gun at the sound of my voice. He backed off and Wesley’s face softened.
“You’re alive?” I asked dumbly.
Wesley nodded, but he appeared almost afraid to speak to me.
“Oh my God, Wesley!” I exclaimed, starting to throw my arms around him. But then I hesitated. Why wasn’t he smiling? There was something wrong, something very wrong.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, studying him more closely.
He appeared to have just returned from a journey. His skin and clothes were covered in ash, and he had a huge rucksack strapped to his back.
Silver pushed open his door to see what all the commotion was about. At the sight of him, Wesley immediately stepped back from me, almost guiltily. Silver hurried to pull him forward, throwing an arm around Wesley’s shoulder.
“You’ve done it?” Silver asked breathlessly. “Oh thank God, you made it back!” He smacked him on the shoulders like a proud father.
I stood back in confusion as Wesley tossed the heavy bag on his back to the ground. Perspiration beaded on his forehead and a ring of sweat stained the collar of his army green T-shirt. Through the ash and dirt and sweat, his face glowed at the praise.
“Come in, come in,” Silver said, pulling him into their closed meeting. “Tell me everything.”
Wesley didn’t even glance back at me. He just followed Silver into the train car and disappeared behind the closed door.
Its lock clicked, and a wall of guards blocked it from all sides.
But I could see what was happening inside through the window. All eyes were on Wesley as he took a seat at the head of the table, his hands folded in front of him. His lips were moving but I couldn’t hear what he said.
After what must have been a minute or two he cracked a smile. Cheers and applause sounded around the table as the officers congratulated him on his work. Silver himself retrieved a bottle of celebratory liquor.
I’d seen enough.
“That wasn’t the Wesley, was it?” Tanner asked. His eyes were ablaze and he squeezed his gun at his side.
I didn’t know how to respond.
“Because that guy is obviously part of the plan to blow up your home and kill your sister.” Tanner was suddenly more defensive and angry than I’d ever seen him. “He looks like Silver’s right-hand man. Please don’t tell me that’s the same guy you’ve been pining over.”
“That was him,” I whispered. But somehow it wasn’t. It couldn’t be.
27
My head hurt from all the conflicting thoughts and emotions swirling through it: relief and joy that Wesley was alive, anger that he wouldn’t explain why he was here, betrayal that he had chosen Silver over me. Why wouldn’t he say anything? I kept asking myself, over and over.
“Let’s go back to our car, so you can lie down,” Tanner offered, but I shook my head.
“I want to be waiting when he comes out of that meeting,” I insisted. Tanner took one look at me, and whatever he saw in my face seemed to convince him that it wasn’t worth arguing about. He pulled me over to the common area, which was still mostly abandoned at this hour, and settled me near the fire, a blanket over my shoulders.
Tanner didn’t say another word after his initial outburst, but I could tell what he was thinking. How could my Wesley be working with the rebels on a plan that endangered Mary?
“I just can’t believe that’s him,” he said at last, unable to hide the bitterness in his tone.
“I don’t … he would never hurt Mary,” I said, but even I heard the doubt in my voice.
Tanner exhaled deeply. “War changes people, Eliza. Desperation changes people. Wesley may not still be the guy you—”
He broke off, looking away, and I realized that I hadn’t even considered how hard this conversation must be for him, too.
“Loved,” I said quietly. “The guy I loved.”
Tanner kept his head down, and I snuggled into his chest, silent. I could feel his heart beating steadily, comfortingly behind me. I wondered if he would try to kiss me again, and what I would do if he did.
But he simply rested his chin against my hair.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said. “Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay. If you’re confused, upset, that’s understandable. Just know that I’m here for you.”
I looked up at him, feeling his strong hands gripping mine, wondering again at how good he was. He could have let jealousy take over, sharp and poisonous, and probably destroyed whatever tiny budding thing was happening between us. But instead he pushed it aside, refused to let it damage us. He was being a friend when I needed one.
“Thank you, Tanner,” I said, knowing it wasn’t enough.
Then Silver’s door opened, and Wesley stepped out, followed quickly by Silver himself. I stood up quickly and hurried over before he could disappear again.
“Can we talk?” I asked. “Alone.”
Next to me, Tanner stared Wesley directly in the eyes, refusing to look away until Wesley averted his gaze.
“Sir?” Wesley asked, turning
to Silver. He was asking permission?
Silver nodded. “She can walk with us to our next meeting. I’ll lead the way.” He turned, and Wesley started to follow him. I had to hurry to keep up.
“Come on, Eliza,” Wesley said, with a brusqueness I hadn’t heard since I met him, with Hollister’s New Guard.
“I thought you were dead,” I said, unsure where else to begin.
“I should be dead.” He looked at me, and our eyes met. “I tried to get to you in the palace, but there was no way.”
“So you came here.”
“These are the people who are going to defeat Demkoe,” he said. “Joining them was the next best thing to rescuing you myself, Eliza.” He took my hand in his, and my whole body warmed. “You have to believe me when I tell you that I never stopped thinking about you, all this time.”
His green eyes were shining and the color of his cheeks had returned. “Wesley,” I said, delighting in the sound of his name, savoring it like a child with a new stick of candy. “You’re alive.” I shook my head, still unable to believe the miracle of it. Then I threw my arms around him again, wanting to laugh—but the laughter died in my chest. Why was he so stiff?
Gently, he pulled my arms from around him. “I’m sorry that we have to kill Mary, Eliza, but this is our only chance.”
I stopped in my tracks. “What?”
“Eliza, don’t you see—”
“Who are you?” I said, suddenly hysterical. “Who are you and what have you done with Wesley?”
“I know it’s hard for you to accept, but this is the only way.”
“Stop! Just stop!” I said, pummeling him with my fists. Seeing the commotion, Tanner came over and started to pull me away.
“Who’s your new friend?” Wesley asked, with a nod to Tanner.
“You lost all right to know,” I yelled. “I liked you better when you were dead!”
He winced at that. “Come along, Wesley,” Silver said in front of him, sniffing with distaste. I knew I was making a scene, and I didn’t care. “We’re done here.”
But Wesley leaned forward, some unreadable emotion sparkling in his green eyes. “Eliza, I am sorry,” he said again. “I want you to think about everything you know about me, and try to understand.”