Read Invasion of the Hazmats Page 4

“You have very strange movies,” I answered deadpan.

  “You’re probably right,” he said. “But I guess you’re not a bad guy. Let’s see if we can’t get you back to where you belong.

  “Bob, go back to the boat and bring me the long boat hook.”

  “Da-ad! Why can’t you go?”

  “Go!”

  He went.

  “What are you called, little mermaid?” the man asked after the boy left.

  All of a sudden my brain dried up. I knew I couldn’t give them my real name and my knowledge of Klingon was nonexistent. Looking at Zazkal for inspiration, I finally said,

  “My best friends call me Koi.”

  “Are you sure you’re not really a mermaid?”

  I gave him my most innocent look.

  “I thought you said that form doesn’t exist on this planet.”

  Bob came back with the boat hook and the subject was dropped.

  Ignoring the webs clinging to his bare arms and the spiders dropping down on his head, Bob’s father bent his head down to protect his face while he used the pole to break through the webs around the bubbles.

  I looked at Bob. We were both cringing. He was as creeped out as I was. We saw his Dad flinch when one of the spiders decided to have a taste. We flinched too.

  “Are you okay?” I asked anxiously.

  “It’s nothing. I’ve got some baking soda on the boat. That will fix it up in no time.”

  Most of the spiders had already jumped ship and the bubbles were starting to rise up on their own, pulling away from the last of the anchor threads. We were still covered in sticky webs with long dangling strings that made us look like a pair of deformed hot air balloons.

  “I don’t know what we would have done if you hadn’t helped us. I really am very grateful. I wish I really did have a ‘great gift’ for you.”

  Thinking about my own father and his addiction to old black and white TV shows, I reached into my sampo and took out a silver bullet.

  I had learned the hard way the first time Zazkal used a traveling bubble to kidnap me, that as long as you start small, you can force almost anything in or out of a bubble...anything, that is, except yourself. That’s a one way deal. All in, no out. I pushed the bullet through the bubble-skin and watched it fall to the ground.

  “What is it, Dad?” Bob asked, picking it up and showing it to his father.

  He looked at what Bob held in his hand, and his lips began to quiver.

  “It’s a silver bullet,” his father said, barely able to contain his laughter. “I guess she is a good guy.”

  That was the last thing I heard. I kept waving goodbye and calling out thank-yous.

  I could see Bob still waving, his Dad doubled over with laughter.

  “I guess he knew what the silver bullet was,” I said and kept waving till they were out of sight.

  Feeling brilliant, I turned, glowing with excitement to Zazkal, who was rubbing his arms and twisting his neck, trying to get everything working again.

  “Miriam, would you kindly explain what that was all about,” he asked…not kindly

  “It’s really very simple,” I said proudly, ignoring his skepticism and grinning from ear to ear.

  “Simple is not the word that springs to mind.”

  “No, really. It was perfect. You see, if they thought we were what they call mermaids, they would have done everything they could to capture us.

  “They were much more disposed to help people from another planet than Sky people. It has to do with something called television.”

  “Bu-ut, if I told them we were from another planet, they wouldn’t have believed that either.

  “Instead,” I said proudly, “I got them to decide on their own that we were from outer space, the group that they were most inclined to assist. Not bad, huh?”

  “Tell me, why didn’t you just use the sleep spell on them.”

  Oops!

  I said nothing for a moment, and then very quietly,

  “I forgot.”

  “You will never be a magic user. That bag is wasted on you,” he said angrily. Then, shaking his head and releasing a long sigh. He turned his back.

  Completely deflated, I watched as his shoulders began to shake. After a moment, he began to make a choking noise.

  “Oh no,” I thought. “He’s crying.”

  He turned his head and I could see the tears streaming down his cheeks. I could also see that he wasn’t crying.

  I smiled weakly when I realized the strange noise for what it was. Why didn’t I feel any better?

  “Really,” he said between cackles and guffaws, “you have a gift. I think you should replace Bibi as chief minister and diplomat to your grandparents.

  “They could do no better. We’ll have to name a new species of fish after you. The golden-tongued-koi.”

  This last, he only just managed to get out before completely dissolving.

  CHAPTER 11

  LOST IN A LAKE

  “It is most fortunate that we are still over land today,” Zazkal said when he finally stopped laughing. “Not to mention the advantage of not being burdened down with that Bibi person. We will stop if we pass over another lake like the last one.”

  “What?”

  The rest of the words beginning to form in my head wisely stopped before they left my mouth. My shattered ego was not about to risk another encounter.

  “Nothing,” I said when he gave me a look.

  “Then stop interrupting,” he snapped. “I may never get another chance to study fresh-water creatures. I am particularly anxious to meet with other magic users who might be interested in establishing a correspondence.”

  “What about the fifteen minute limit?”

  “As long as I’m back inside within the required time, I can repeat the delay as many times as I want.”

  I didn’t like it. Return and repeat left too many opportunities to miss the bubble. Chances are that we won’t pass over another big lake anyway; I thought and kept my mouth shut.

  But chance was not on my side.

  “We must be in the Land of Lakes,” I muttered, when only a few minutes later we passed over an even bigger lake. Zazkal said something under his breath and we dropped down onto the water as soon as we reached the middle. The bottom of his bubble opened. Mine didn’t.

  “Give me the bag.”

  “Shouldn’t we stay together?”

  “Stop wasting my time. Give it to me quickly and don’t nap.” He was already in the water. Resigned, I pushed the sampo through the plastic tube. He grabbed it and dove so quickly, that I wasn’t sure whether he had swum off or disappeared.

  Alone in the bubble, with no way of getting out, I looked around nervously. This lake had a lot more construction around it. I could see clusters of buildings in almost every direction on the distant shores, including tall ones that must be apartments or hotels.

  Today was a Sunday, and the weather was beautiful. It was still early, but it wouldn’t be long before the lake was full of boaters. I could have kicked myself…if I had a foot to kick with, for not warning Zazkal about weekends before he left.

  I picked up the big watch I had taken out earlier and started counting. Exactly fourteen and a half minutes later, Zazkal burst into the bubble just as it was closing. His tail got left out and he had to wait for the bubble to finish sucking him in before he could open it again.

  He was out of breath and as usual annoyed. Annoyed was about as good as he got, so I guess he was having fun.

  “You wouldn’t believe how uncouth these provincial fairies are,” he said. More like how provoked they had probably been, I thought.

  “There’s an elderly turtle I want to meet with before I leave,” he said.

  “I forgot to tell you about the weekends,” I blurted out. But he was already gone.

  “Never mind,” I thought, “he’ll be back in fifteen minutes, and I’ll tell him then what to expect if he wants to stay longer. There will probably be boa
ts and jet skis all over the place in another hour.”

  The next fourteen minutes did not pass quickly. I spent the time staring at my watch, scanning the shoreline for activity and trying not to be nervous. For the fifteenth minute, I focused all my attention on the water, willing Zazkal to appear. I was now okay with nervous. I worked on not getting hysterical. I failed on both counts.

  When the twin bubbles began to rise slowly into the air with their empty compartment, I was in tears. I felt trapped and helpless. There was no sign of Zazkal.

  CHAPTER 12

  I’M A POET AND I KNOW IT

  The bubbles were approaching the lakeshore. I realized that if Zazkal was not able to build another bubble, then it was on me and my two legs to come back and fetch him. It would help a lot if I knew where to find him. I needed to calm down and make a plan.

  I started looking around for signs in the approaching town that would help identify the place. The bubbles were starting to pick up speed and there was nothing I could see clearly. Grandma and Grandpa Sky will never forgive me if I lose Zazkal…hmmm, maybe they would.

  It didn’t matter, because just a little way past the town center, I passed over a very small building with a really big sign that said Lake Francis Auto Repair.

  Francis? Who ever heard of a dumb name like that for a lake? Never mind. It’s enough. Stupid trumps panic and now I knew what I needed to do. Extremely simple…and extremely difficult. All I had to do was not go to sleep so that my homing pigeon sampo didn’t do its thing. Of course, thinking about not sleeping made me sleepy.

  I doubted that Zazkal would find all the ingredients he needed to make another traveling bubble in Lake Francis. He was going to need the sampo.

  He probably already took out everything he needed as soon as he realized he missed the bubble, but this was Zazkal we’re talking about…I need to stay awake.

  I still had at least all day and maybe all night to go. No food. No water. Also no bathroom stops, so they kind of cancelled each other out.

  Worse, there was absolutely nothing to do so, of course, my eyeballs were already glazing over. For a while I watched the towns and cows passing rapidly beneath me, but pretty soon I would be over the ocean again. Not much there.

  The sun was warm and cozy inside my bubble. Rainbow colors swirled hypnotically on the bubble’s skin. It was all much too restful.

  All I had was the pillow I was sitting on and the writing practice scroll I had been fooling around with last night when I got tired of reading.

  Anything was better than staring at the sea all day. Maybe I’ll write something to keep, maybe a journal. I took my lucky pebble out of my wing pocket, rolled it around in my hand and stared at the blank scroll.

  I’ve never been alone-alone. Even when I was on my own in my room, my cat Tefnut was always there. Sweet cuddly, smushy Tiffy-Poo.

  There was nothing to be afraid of. The bubble would take me to the right place and drop me off. Bibi would be waiting and Zazkal will probably be right after me.

  Maybe.

  “I wish Tefnut could be here,” I thought and words started to show up on the page.

  ‘I miss my cat. Indeed I do.

  But she cannot be here with me, too.’

  Oh, look! A poem. I wrote a poem. A real poem.

  Not only did I write a poem, but I didn’t have to concentrate on the spell. It just happened. I tried again.

  I started thinking about my favorite cat person, Alice in Wonderland. She missed her cat, too…and it wasn’t just cats we had in common.

  I bet that when she had grown too big to fit out the door and was stuck in the White Rabbit’s house, she had major regrets about jumping into that rabbit hole.

  I know I do. This trip is a disaster.

  I started to write.

  ‘On Being Bubblenapped Across the Wide, Blue Sea’

  ‘Oh, free me from this unkind place

  that lets me see the world but not touch its face.

  I would dive deep and taste the brine

  and gather sea flowers, thereon to dine.’

  I wasn’t sure if ‘thereon’ was a real word, but it rhymed. Feeling inspired, I kept going.

  ‘But you will carry me instead

  to places unknown.

  Free me only for danger

  and force me to roam.’

  ‘Adventures that once seemed shiny and bright,

  yesterday’s daydreams,

  they were such a delight.

  But now, from within this bubble so tight,

  to actually do them, really gives me a fright.’

  ‘I’ll never complain of boredom again.

  I’ll stick to my dreams, they’re much easier when

  they’re done in my room with my family around.

  Just take me home. I promise. I won’t make a sound.’

  Yup. That just about sums it up, I thought.

  I looked at my watch. It was only an hour later. I’m going to need another poem.

  I was still stuck in the bubble, but in spite of everything, I felt pretty good about how easy the actual writing had finally become…and…I wasn’t sleepy.

  I can finally write without concentrating on the stupid spell. That means that I get to be a real apprentice and learn some real magic. At least that was what Zazkal promised and if I ever found him again I was going to hold him to it.

  Meanwhile, I needed to keep my newly acquired claustrophobia from taking over. The first spell I am going to learn is how to open this bubble-shaped coffin.

  I tried the journal thing, but the last poem left me feeling silly and I ended up spending the entire day writing another nonsense poem. My brain must be wired for dumb rhymes.

  By the time I was finished, meaning that I couldn’t stand it anymore, the sun was low in the sky and I was too hungry to think about trying to rhyme any more words.

  All I had to do was go to sleep and wake up and I would have my sampo and all the summer fruit I could eat…but…I was on a mission…a stay awake mission. I knew that Zazkal, if I ever saw him again, would not appreciate my effort. He would just complain that I didn’t stay awake long enough.

  I tried singing.

  “Bring me food,” I sang as loud as I could. “Dishes of food, gallons of food, barrels of food, an o-o-ocean of food will do.”

  Okay, so singing wasn’t going to work.

  I thought about the pretend picnics I use to have with my pretend big sister, before Verona and I became salt sisters. But like Alice in Wonderland and her cat Dinah, the person I really missed right now was more furry and cuddly.

  “Won’t you have another cup of tea, Tefnut,” I said, using my best Alice voice and pretending an imaginary tea party. If I couldn’t eat, I could at least pretend to.

  “Oh, Miss Toes, how daintily you lick at your plate of Chocolate Decadence Mousse Pie, but do not fail to try the Zebra Brownies. They are really excellent. I’m going to have some of the Chocolate Roll with hot chocolate sauce.” I started to drool.

  “Look, there are still two Chocolate Chunk cookies left. Here. You have one and I’ll have the other…”

  I don’t know when my daydream turned into a real dream, but…

  CHAPTER 13

  FREE AT LAST

  …I was dreaming about the ocean. In my dream, I was surrounded by little colored fish. The water was delicious and I was drifting slowly and comfortably downwards through the sun-filtered water near the surface.

  I gradually woke up to find my dream correct in every point. The bubble had arrived at its destination, dissolved and dumped me into the ocean.

  The practice scroll with my brilliant poetry was gone, on its way to the bottom of the sea, but my sampo was back, floating nearby, hanging around like a lost puppy.

  Summer fruit! I am sooo hungry. With a flip of my tail that scattered the school of fish I grabbed the bag and started stuffing myself with every sweet thing I could think of.

  It’s good to be back. I wonder
where Bibi is? Even with my super-powered underwater Sky vision, there was nothing for as far as I could see. Even the little fish had deserted me. I went back to the surface hoping to find a head like mine bobbing between the waves. More nothing. I guess he didn’t wait.

  This seemed to be a pretty lonely piece of ocean and I was ready for some company. I tied the sampo around my waist and began to swim downward in earnest.

  I did not doubt that the bubble had deposited me in the right place. I was headed for the Abyssmal Plain about two and a half miles straight down, probably a couple of hours of steady swimming.

  But as the sunlight faded above my head, up and down were starting to get confusing. Plus, with the ocean currents pulling now this way and now that, I no longer had any sure sense of gravity to help me continue down.

  It’s time for ‘sampo to the rescue’. I took a big fishnet bag out of my magic bag and an underwater flashlight. Then I took the biggest stone that would fit through the sampo’s opening.

  The rock went into the net bag. Three more rocks and I knew I was being pulled in the right direction. The rocks did all the work. I was just along for the ride.

  CHAPTER 14

  INTO THE ABYSS

  Fifteen minutes later and it was now, beyond dark. This was a place where even mermaid eyes didn’t help. Gradually, I noticed a patch of dark that was less dark.

  Squeezing my eyes into a tight squint I could see tiny lights. If that was Metsoola, it was in the wrong place.

  I shook my head trying to rethink up and down, but all it did was make me dizzy. Anyway, it was too soon to be Metsoola.

  Apparently, I am not as alone as I thought, but before I had a chance to decide whether or not I should be worried, I was surrounded by strings of bluish lights. My whole body stiffened up.

  Something was touching me.

  Little touches. All over. Was I being tasted?

  The moment I turned on the flashlight, the touching stopped.

  Every place the light shone was filled with silvery-black fish each with huge eyes and a row of lights on their bellies running from chin to tail. They scattered as soon as my light went on. Party-light fish. Cute.

  The beam of light picked out a very big very dark shape beyond the school, maybe following them.

  Maybe it wasn’t my light that scattered the fish.

  The shape kept getting bigger, which meant it was getting closer. I directed the light to get a better look. Eyes the size of dinner plates. Not a good start.