Chapter Eleven - Forgotten
Joseph passed through days of eager anticipation. He felt sure that Zophek would mention him to Pharaoh; after all, Zophek was in a position where he could speak to Pharaoh without having to have an audience.
A month had passed since Zophek left the prison. Joseph was becoming a bit despondent; he did not show it to others. It looked like Zophek had forgotten him. Joseph was grieved about it. It had seemed like an excellent opportunity to get out of this prison. 'Will I be stuck here for the rest of my days? Perhaps, he will still remember me. Perhaps, he has not had an opportunity to speak to Pharaoh about me.' Joseph continued to pray that God would work through Zophek and get him out of the prison.
The months slipped slowly around, Joseph continued in his normal prison routines. He appeared cheerful and bright to others, but, in his heart he was grieved. ‘Zophek has forgotten me!’ Joseph was certain that he had forgotten him; otherwise some sort of action would have occurred by now. Joseph found this a hard burden to carry. It was affecting his prayer life and his mental outlook.
'Why does God allow these situations in my life? Why does God leave me in this prison? Will I ever see my family again?’Joseph’s inward thoughts were getting a negative bias. He was beginning to think about himself rather than others.
This gradual change in his thinking was noticeable. Zanak noticed that Joseph was becoming more introspective. He still did an excellent job, but, the zeal had gone out of him. The guards also noticed that Joseph did not seem to be as cheerful as usual. They wondered what was wrong with him.
Joseph was not aware that others noticed a difference in him. He continued to pray, but, it seemed futile. He was finding this trial hard to bear. Until now, he had seen some sort of purpose in his life. Now it all seemed so useless. ‘First, my brothers sold me as a slave; however, I was happy serving Master Potiphar until Mistress Esna tried to seduce me. Then I was thrown into prison, which was bearable until Zophek forgot me.’
Sometimes, he wondered whether it was really any use praying. Lately it did not seem to be doing much good. 'God does not seem to be paying any attention to my prayers.' Joseph was downhearted, and yet he could not resign himself to spending the rest of his days in prison. Joseph was unaware that he was fighting a battle with himself. The battle was only in the early stages. Joseph had no way of knowing what the future held for him.
‘Why? God, why? Why do I have to go through all these terrible situations? All I ever wanted was to be with Father and with Benjamin. I will probably never see them again. Why have you allowed this separation? Why must I stay in this Egyptian prison? If you really care about me, why don’t you rescue me from this place? Life was so simple, at home as a lad helping Father.'
Memories of home were painful; for Joseph was a long way from Canaan. It seemed a lifetime ago. Prison life became dull and dreary. Joseph found that the days dragged. He was glad to go to bed at night and sleep. He found some solace in sleep. His faith was taking a battering.
Joseph found the days harder to bear than the nights. At night, he slept and was able to erase the things that caused him anguish. Joseph was beginning to find that little things that were wrong, or, went wrong, irritated him. He found that he was getting annoyed with himself. Deep down, he knew that he was the cause of it all. However, he was not even sure that he could be bothered sorting himself out.
His mental attitude changed. He was no longer as strong in his faith, and others noticed this difference in him. They could not work out what had caused the change in his outlook. They hoped Joseph would sort the problem out; whatever it was, it was deep seated.
The days came and went, one dreary day after another. Joseph had fallen into a negative thought pattern. His old optimism was replaced with a questioning attitude. His thinking became clouded, he was no longer sure of his decisions. He kept thinking to himself, ‘Is there a better way to do the job?’ Self doubts began to creep into his thoughts.
In his heart he knew that the problems were occurring because he had lost confidence in God. Joseph often faced up to the problem, but, he could not see why God left him in this prison. This test of Joseph’s faith was a sore trial. He had always had a lot of faith in God. That fact made the situation unbearable at times. 'Why does God leave me in prison when I am innocent?’
Some days, life did not seem so bad, but, there were days when he was despondent. It was very hard to get through his jobs on those days. He would become silent not wanting to talk to anybody. Other days he would almost seem like his old self. He would be bright and cheerful; however, these days were the exception rather than the rule.
Zanak and the guards wondered at the change in Joseph. The other prisoners noticed he had become more withdrawn. Zanak called Joseph in to have a chat.
“Joseph, what is wrong with you? You have become moody and seem to have lost confidence in yourself.”
‘Is it that noticeable? What will I say to Zanak?’
He looked at Zanak and said, “Zanak, when I first came here, I told you that I was innocent of the charges against me. You laughed at me. I am innocent, and being in this prison knowing I am innocent is getting me down.”
Zanak looked at Joseph. He could understand why Joseph was so down.
“Joseph, whether you are innocent, or, guilty is not my concern. Potiphar put you in prison and my instructions are not to release you until he gives the order.”
Joseph stared at Zanak. ‘Master Potiphar will probably never give the order to release me.’ Zanak waited for Joseph’s reaction. Joseph’s face registered concern and resignation.
Zanak spoke again, “Joseph, you are fortunate to be alive! Potiphar could have killed you on the spot. Any other master would have killed you without any compunction at all. You will have to face up to the fact that you may never get out of here. You have worked hard and you are now better off that any of the other prisoners. I cannot do any more than I have already done for you.”
Joseph let Zanak's words sink in. He made a lot of sense. Zanak could see that Joseph was thinking about what he had said to him.
Zanak said to Joseph, “Joseph, I need you to help me with this prison, however, of late, you have not been as efficient as usual. We both know that you are capable of better things. Now, I want you to go to your cell; and have a long think about what I have said, and what you are going to do about it.”
Joseph said, “Thank you, for your advice Zanak I promise you that I will think about your words.”
Zanak dismissed Joseph. Joseph walked back to his cell and sat on his mat. He went back over Zanak’s words. He analysed his reactions to them. Zanak had given him a jolt when he had told him that his work was slipping. He had not realised that his attitude had such an adverse effect on his work.
Joseph had always tried to do his best in his work. He did not like being told it was now second rate. He knew that it was because he was rebelling against God. He did not want to be in prison. 'Why must I endure this? What can I do about it?’Joseph’s thoughts went back to the Chief Butler, Zophek and the Chief Baker, Zanaken. He had not forgiven Zophek for forgetting him; that had started the negative thoughts.
‘Maybe, he did not forget me. Perhaps, he has told Pharaoh and Pharaoh has not done anything about it. If that is the reason, I am holding a grudge for nothing.’ Joseph conceded that he could be wrong about the matter. 'I will have to give Zophek the benefit of the doubt.’
Joseph then thought about their dreams; and how they had come to pass, exactly according to the interpretation. ‘God knew exactly what would happen to each of them and surely he knows what will happen to me. What about my dreams when I was back in Canaan? God must surely bring them to pass.’
Joseph was thinking positively. 'If God is to fulfil those dreams, then somehow, some time, He will get me out of this prison.’ Joseph was feeling better, his attitude was changing. 'Maybe, I am meant to be in this prison for some time yet. God is in control of all things. He has a re
ason for keeping me here.’
Joseph turned his eyes towards the heavens and prayed fervently, pouring out his anguish of soul, and asking forgiveness for ever doubting the goodness of God. He also forgave Zophek and sought God’s restoring power. A deep sense of peace and well-being flooded into his soul. Joseph felt free in his soul; he got up from his mat and felt at peace with himself, and with the world. He called the guard.
The duty guard found Zanak and told him that Joseph wanted to see him. Zanak told the guard to bring Joseph to him. Zanak could see from the expression on Joseph’s face that something had happened to him.
“Zanak I have thought about your talk and I have decided that my attitude was wrong. I have asked God for forgiveness and He has given it to me. Someday, He will take me out of this prison. Until then, I will serve you as best as I can.”
Zanak was impressed! Joseph had not only managed a complete turnaround, but, he seemed to possess an air of victory which he did not have before. Power seemed to radiate from him!
Joseph turned and walked out of Zanak’s office. Zanak stared after him. He was very thoughtful. 'This God, that Joseph worships, must be quite a God!’ Zanak went back to his duties, amazed at the sudden change in Joseph.
Joseph went about his duties with a song in his heart. Everybody noticed the radical change, the old Joseph was back. His new found cheerfulness and zest for life was an inspiration for others. Whatever had been making Joseph despondent was gone, and how! The months drifted by, Joseph was still at peace, and nothing could shake his faith now. He had been tried in the fiery furnace of faith and he had endured it.
Iron had entered into his soul!
No longer would he doubt God. 'It is only a matter of time and I will be out of this prison.' Each day he was happy and relaxed. He seemed to be continually in the presence of his God. Others noticed his joy and peace of heart.
They envied him! It did a man’s spirit good to be in his presence. Joseph, however, did not notice the effect on others. His mind was full of the goodness of God.