Evan drew on every ounce of self-control he possessed to ratchet down his breathing as he curled his fingers around the dainty, carved-wood arms of the chair, digging in like he had talons.
He didn't need to listen to this crap. He should toss them out on their asses.
But he couldn't. Not when he was desperate for answers to questions that had haunted him for years. Why had she left? Where had she gone?
And why hadn't she taken him?
"What's your last name?" His voice sounded like gravel.
"Collins, same as yours," Tony said. "She didn't change her name."
With all the resources he had, he could have found her. But he hadn't tried. Because he'd sworn to himself that he'd moved on.
She beseeched him with her eyes, begging piteously for his understanding. Looking at her made his head whirl, sending his emotions tumbling. His knee jerked involuntarily, knocking the table, spilling coffee from his cup.
There were so many things he needed to understand, yet he couldn't get the questions out. Not when he was falling into the same pit Whitney had dropped him into a month ago. Going dark, going deep, silent--shutting down.
Get a grip. Pull it together.
He would, damn it. He'd draw deep from his well of self-control. But he couldn't stop wishing for Paige. She was a family psychologist. She could walk him through this minefield, which felt even more dangerous than anything he'd experienced with Whitney.
He needed Paige before he went off half-cocked on two people who'd possibly been as damaged by what their parents had done as he was. Paige would know how to straighten out this massively messed-up situation with her level-headed advice, her calm voice, her gentle smiles.
Because he sure as hell didn't know what to say.
But Paige wasn't here. And Evan wasn't a kid anymore, afraid of his father's fists, hiding under his covers, praying to someone who didn't listen. Crying for a woman who'd left him.
He was a powerful man, both in body and position. He was a billionaire. He'd overcome. He'd moved the hell on. So he would control his emotions. He would not sound like a raving madman.
"Let's talk about you two first. Tell me about yourselves." He was actually amazed at how calm and rational he sounded despite everything roiling inside him.
They blinked in duplicate, like the twins they were, obviously surprised by his abrupt switch.
"Well," Tony said, using the word like he needed a second to change gears. "I'm working on my graduate degree in engineering at UCSF."
"Impressive." UC San Francisco was a great school. Expensive too. He wondered if Tony had gotten some sort of scholarship, or if he was bogged down with student loans. Evan turned to Kelsey. "And you?"
"I'm a CPA. I work for a firm in San Francisco."
"Equally impressive. You like numbers, I take it?" Like him.
She smiled, nodded. He saw his mother's--no, Theresa's smile in her. The rare smiles from his youth, when his father hadn't been around.
"I'm so proud of them." It was the first full sentence Theresa had spoken since her litany on the front porch: I'm so sorry. I'm so proud of you.
The calm he'd exerted started to desert him again. He felt the mushroom cloud of anger welling up from his gut.
Yet again, he wished for Paige, for her common sense, her unruffled feathers, her expertise, her reassuring influence. She gave too much already, and he had no right to ask for more. But she would know exactly how to handle this, how to put them all at ease, get them talking without Evan clenching his fists at every word out of that woman's mouth. Paige would get the answers to all the questions he couldn't seem to ask.
Just as he was balling his fists, straining for the control to keep from shouting--or, at this point, just plain losing his mind--his doorbell rang again.
He didn't give Mrs. M a chance to answer. It was an excuse to get out of that room. To breathe for a few precious moments. Even if it was Whitney on the other side of the door, right now she seemed like the lesser of two evils.
But evil wasn't waiting at his front door.
Paige was.
The woman he'd been dreaming about.
The woman his muddled mind had been begging for.
He practically yanked her off her feet as he pulled her inside. He hugged her before he could remember why that wasn't a good idea. The press of her gorgeous curves against him and her scent filling his head simply scrambled whatever was left of his senses, and he blurted out, "My long-lost mother is here. Along with the brother and sister I never knew I had."
Chapter Nine
Paige would have dropped her purse if the strap hadn't been slung crosswise over her shoulder.
She'd been nervous about coming here today, especially after Evan had gone out of his way to avoid her at the wedding reception. But she couldn't possibly pretend she hadn't loved kissing him, hadn't reveled in his body against hers. Or that she didn't want more.
Even if she was setting herself up for a terrible fall, she still had to know what their kiss meant to him. What she meant to him.
Only, instead of finding him alone...he suddenly had a mother, a brother, and a sister?
In the face of this astonishing news, her nerves, her questions about what the two of them were to each other--all of that disappeared. At least for now. Although, the heat his greeting hug had flooded her with wasn't going anywhere.
Paige knew the bare bones of his past. Evan had never hidden where he came from, but he didn't talk about it much either. She knew that his mother had abandoned him, leaving him with an abusive, alcoholic father. The Spencers had rescued him by taking him off his father's hands, which probably had felt like another abandonment for a preteen boy, even though his dad was violent. Then Susan and Bob had worked their loving magic, and Evan had grown into an amazing man despite his difficult youth.
"I know," Evan said, reading her expression. "It's a shocker."
Shocker was the understatement of the century. It felt more like the first enormous hill on the Giant Dipper roller coaster out at Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, when your stomach flew up into your throat and a scream was wrenched right out of you.
And it wasn't just the shock of his family that knocked her off balance. It was how hard she'd worked to gather the courage to confront him today...only to have to stuff it away again. Because she certainly couldn't talk to him about their kiss now.
She looked into his eyes. Beautiful hazel-green eyes that couldn't hide his anger, bewilderment, denial, confusion, or even his curiosity. No, her needs had to be set aside when, for Evan, seeing his mother would inevitably be a monumental trigger for all his childhood traumas.
Nothing was simple between Paige and Evan. After that kiss, their relationship had never been more complicated. But in this moment, the only thing that mattered was standing beside him and making sure he didn't go through this alone.
"How can I help?"
He grabbed her hands. "I shouldn't ask, because you do too much already," he said. "But you're here. So please. Come meet them. Talk to them."
Mrs. Mortimer poked her head out of the kitchen hallway. "Hello, Paige, it's lovely to see you again. I'll bring another cup for you."
"Thank you, Mrs. M."
As Evan ushered Paige into the formal living room, she wasn't surprised that he was treating them like guests rather than family, holding them at arm's length.
The three of them were clustered on the sofa and chair, talking in furious whispers. Well, at least his brother and sister were talking. Evan's mother was silent.
"This is my sister-in-law, Paige."
Sister-in-law. She'd always had a designation--never just Paige, never just his friend. Always an extension of Whitney.
She'd hoped their kiss had changed everything. But had anything changed at all?
Only, now wasn't the time to think about that, so she stuffed her own needs away--just for the time being, she told herself--as she smiled kindly. "It's nice to meet all of you."
&n
bsp; "This is Kelsey and Tony," Evan said. "And Theresa."
She couldn't miss how he'd used her name, rather than Mom or Mother. And she nearly shivered at the cool, unforgiving tone, so unlike him.
"Have a seat." It warmed her that he gestured to the spot beside him on the couch.
In the few moments it took to get her coffee, add milk and sugar, and fend off the pastries, she surreptitiously observed Evan's newly materialized family. Tony was a duplicate of Evan, though not quite as tall or broad. Kelsey looked remarkably like her brother, but Paige could also see a strong resemblance to their mother.
At the door, Evan had said he'd had no idea his siblings even existed until today, but it was clear Tony and Kelsey shared the same mother and father as he did. Where could they have been all these years?
The questions mounted.
"So," she said after she'd taken a sip from her coffee cup, "where are you from?" It was only the tip of the huge morass of questions she had for them, but at least it was a start.
"Modesto," Kelsey said. "Mom still lives there, but Tony and I are in the city now."
Mom. Theresa Collins looked to be mid-fifty to sixty, her face and neck weathered by the years, though her hair wasn't completely gray. She avoided meeting anyone's eye, concentrating on the tissues clasped in her lap. She added nothing to the conversation as she sat on the couch, shoulders hunched, and sniffled occasionally into the wad of tissues in her hands.
"Tony's at UCSF," Evan said. "And Kelsey's a CPA in San Francisco."
"We showed up on his doorstep just a few minutes ago," Tony offered without being asked, his smile very much like Evan's. At least when Evan actually used to smile.
Kelsey shot her brother a quick look, and when he nodded, she turned back to Evan and said, "Is there somewhere you and I could talk privately?"
Beside her, Paige felt Evan practically vibrating. For anyone else, anger and frustration would have won out over curiosity by now. But he'd always possessed tremendous control, so she wasn't surprised when he nodded and stood.
"Follow me." He reached out a hand for Paige. "I'd appreciate it if you'd join us."
She put her hand in his, even knowing the effect his touch would have on her. Like fireworks going off along her skin, inside her chest, deep in her belly. From nothing more than the connection of fingers and palms.
All her yearning flowed into that touch, the need to comfort, the desire for him. If only they'd had time to talk about that wonderful, beautiful, stupendous kiss. If only she could comfort him now. Wrap her arms around him. Protect him, heal him.
But all she could do at the moment was walk with him and Kelsey toward the great room at the far back of the house.
"Like Tony said," Kelsey began as soon as they were out of hearing distance, "we don't want your money." Paige was impressed with the strength she saw in the tall, lovely woman. Her back was straight, her long hair falling over her shoulders. "We just want you to help us with Mom."
"If you don't want money, how am I supposed to help?"
Paige hated how Evan said it, like he didn't have anything else to offer, that his only worth was his wealth.
"Why don't you sit down and help us understand?" Paige suggested. A discussion would be easier if they weren't facing off like opponents in a boxing ring.
Kelsey tucked herself into a comfortable leather chair while Paige took the corner sofa seat. Evan remained standing.
Paige patted the cushion beside her. "Sit down." With his combative facade, he would only make Kelsey nervous. Fortunately, he did as she asked, although he kept his arms crossed over his chest.
Despite the circumstances, Paige relished his body heat so close to her, his scent intoxicating her. But his maleness was a beautiful distraction she couldn't afford right now, and she did her level best to stay on point. "Please tell us the whole story, starting with how you learned that Evan was your brother. Then we'll see how we can help you." Next to her, Evan was rigid. She wanted to touch him, ease his tension, but she had to be content simply to lead the discussion.
"Okay." Kelsey nodded, looking briefly down at her hands, as if trying to decide where to begin. "You see, it was Mom's birthday, a Sunday. And her boyfriend was already halfway to drunk by the time Tony and I got there."
The situation had already been tense, but as soon as the words boyfriend and drunk left Kelsey's lips, you could have cut through the air with a knife. If Paige had thought seeing his mom was a trigger, then this would be like a shotgun blast.
One that made Evan's hands clench into fists...and renewed fury flare in his eyes.
Chapter Ten
"Theresa has a boyfriend who drinks." Evan's words were ground out through gritted teeth.
"Yes."
Paige squeezed his arm, softly saying, "Go on," to Kelsey. "Was he harming her?"
"No. He was complaining that the game had started and Mom wouldn't change the channel because she was watching an entertainment show." She looked at Evan. "It was you and your wife giving a tour of this home."
"She's not my wife anymore," Evan revealed flatly. "We're getting divorced."
Kelsey's face dropped. "Oh, I'm so sorry."
"Don't be." His voice was hard and emotionless.
Yet Paige saw through the walls he'd put up and knew that, right now, the best thing would be to move past his troubles with Whitney and stay focused on his three family members who had so suddenly appeared. "Did your mother say something about Evan?"
"It was him." Kelsey almost snarled the last word. "Greg--that's her boyfriend--claimed Tony was a dead ringer for the guy on the TV." She looked at Evan. "For you."
"Your mother didn't deny it?"
"Tony and I, we were just going to laugh it off. But she got this look on her face when Greg started in on her."
"Tell us about it," Paige urged her. "Was it shock? Guilt?"
"Fear," Kelsey said softly. "She looked absolutely terrified. She hadn't thought any of us would pick up on the similarities, but Greg immediately got in her face. Asking stuff like 'What's going on?' and 'Who is he?' and 'He's even got the same last name.'"
"It doesn't appear you like this Greg very much," Paige noted, just as she would have with one of her patients.
Kelsey shook her head, her hair falling across her face for a moment. "He's horrible."
"How long has she been seeing him?" Evan's words were barely more than a growl.
"About a year." His sister sagged back slightly in the chair. "When we were growing up, she never dated anyone. She didn't start until after we graduated high school. And she's only had maybe two or three boyfriends since then. But they're always a little--" She made a face. "--off, I guess. Rougher kinds of guys. But Greg." She narrowed her eyes. "He's just plain mean."
Evan's expression turned stony. If they'd been alone, Paige would have talked him down from the ledge, helped him face the emotions assaulting him as he was forced to acknowledge the parallels to his own life with his mom and dad. Unfortunately, it would have to come later, when they were alone. Because she wasn't leaving until they talked things through. Not about the kiss--that would have to wait for another day. But she wouldn't let his emotions about his parents fester inside him, especially piling on top of Whitney's betrayal. He must feel like he'd been hit by a tire iron right about now.
"So he was getting up in your mom's face," she pressed Kelsey. "And then?"
"She caved." Kelsey's eyes went soft with apology. "She admitted you were her son from before Tony and I were born. I swear she'd never talked about you before. All she'd ever said was that our father was a bad man and we were way better off without him."
Evan's nostrils flared. "He was a bad man."
God, to hear his existence and his childhood written off so flatly. Maybe she'd been wrong to press for all the information. Maybe they should wait for a better time, a calmer moment.
But before she could hit the pause button, Evan asked, "Did Greg hit her?"
"No. But he gra
bbed her arm and held on really tight, saying she had to contact you. The dollar signs were flashing in his eyes." Kelsey's hands were the ones fisting now. "Tony kicked him out when we saw the red marks on her arm. They turned into bruises later. We told him not to come back."
"Good for you," Evan said softly, with something close to relish. He leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. "What do you need from me? It sounds like you and Tony took care of the issue."
"That's the problem. He didn't stay away." Kelsey grimaced in disgust. "He told Mom how sorry he was for his behavior, blamed it on the fact that he'd just gotten laid off and he was having a hard time."
"Just a bunch of excuses." Evan's voice had an edge of steel sharp enough to slice.
"No one should ever get physical," Paige agreed.
With a nod, Kelsey said, "Now that Tony and I are both living in San Francisco, we can't be around all the time to protect her. We've been doing our best to try to deal with Greg and the situation, but we can't help feeling we're in over our heads." Her eyes were beseeching. "She was terrified to come here. She thought you'd reject her. But I know how badly she wanted to see you, even though she was afraid."
The air was so thick, the silence so profound, that Paige swore she could actually hear the beating of Evan's heart.
Her heart tore open for him. Just as it hurt for Kelsey and Tony, who were desperate to save their mother. She ached to put her hand over his chest, to ease the furious throb of his pulse.
But despite the earth-shattering kiss they'd shared, for now she was merely his psychologist sister-in-law trying to get answers. And she wouldn't fail him.
*
Evan was swept up in a maelstrom of memory. His father's fists. The smell of his rancid whiskey breath. Hiding under the bed, making himself small so he wouldn't be noticed. His mother's cries. The bruises on her in the morning.
Once she was gone, all the bruises had become his.
Now his mother was at it again, choosing the wrong guy. Kelsey's story took him back to that grimy neighborhood and stinking tenement, a place he never wanted to see again in his life.
Damn straight, Theresa had to believe he would reject her. Sure, his father had been the abusive asshole. But his mother had been the sober one who made the decision to leave.