Dan tried to bite his tongue, but it didn’t work. He said, “What’s the matter, are your skinny little hands cold, Sweetie? Why don’t you take one of the cups over there, the ones filled with coffee,” he pointed to her table, “any one of them — that none of you even bothered to drink — and put it in the Microwave!”
The parents' heads shot up. They were staring at him with fearful looks in their eyes. He didn’t realize his chest was heaving and his nostrils were flaring. The clerks at the counter had all but stopped what they were doing.
“Let me show you how it’s done,” he said. He walked over to their table, picked up two cups of coffee, and hoisted them up to his cheeks. “Watch this.” He stuck them in the microwave and turned the dial. “Now, just you watch. It only takes about a minute.”
The girl just looked up at him, eyes watering. Dan caught his reflection in her glasses, and saw the anger in his face. He felt ashamed at that moment, taking his frustration out on the girl.
Ding!
He smiled at the girl, walked over to the husband and wife, and snatched the USA Today from the man’s shaking hands. He rolled it up and smacked the man on the head. He then turned on the woman.
“Ulp!” she sounded as the color drained from her face. The boy at the table was laughing something terrible.
Dan said, “You deserve this, Lady, but I’m giving yours to the boy.”
SMACK!
The boy was silent and rubbing his head. Dan tucked the paper up under his arm, grabbed an untouched biscuit from the table, and walked out. He started to look back. He could feel their eyes all over him. He shrugged and made his way toward the shopping mall. They’ll survive … unfortunately.
Rummaging through some discounted editions in the book store, Dan felt half guilty for the way he had behaved. He sipped his double espresso as he read the back of a fantasy novel called The Darkslayer. A two-headed dog? How stupid is that. I’ll leave that bargain for some of the more inept fantasy fans. He moved on, aisle after aisle, admiring various titles and categories. He didn’t realize he was talking to himself out loud, but it was something he had always done.
“Too short.”
“Too long.”
“Too expensive.”
“Too romantic.”
“Too stupid.”
He had made his way into the paranormal romance novels when he felt his skin begin to crawl.
“How did I get into the bizarre aisle?”
It drew several contempt-filled stares from young and old girls. They all were different: some gothic, some a princess, some in plunging necklines and captivating jeans. He scoured the images of hot babes and pretty men with lots of blood and fanged teeth adorning the covers. All of a sudden he had an insatiable desire to run … to the bathroom … and vomit. He laughed aloud has he treaded through the protective dens of the young lionesses who gawked at him like ignorant prey.
It was when he stepped around the corner to the other side of the aisle that his heart came to a complete stop. This small section of paperbacks had been reserved just for him, he thought. Many classics were there.
He said, “Wow! Verne, Hawthorne, Dickens, Fitzgerald, Shelley, Stevenson! Yes, and only $2.97!” Dan was loading up the books in his arms, one by one. “I can’t believe it; I can never find these books this cheap. Ever!”
“You ever try a library?” a perky voice remarked from his left.
Dan stopped with a dozen books stuffed under his chin and made a half-turn toward the voice.
“No, what’s a library?”
She was a nice-looking woman, about his age, wearing snug body-shaping fitness wear like a lot of women he would see in the gym. The entire outfit really set off her green eyes and red hair. She looked about as out of place in the book store as he did in the paranormal romance aisle.
“It’s a place where you can read those books for free?”
“Really,” he said, letting all of the books fall to the floor.
She giggled as she shuffled through the trove of books.
He said in a deep and pitiful voice, “Ma’am … can you take me to this … Library? I need books, lots of books.”
She put her hand on her hip and swaggered her head saying, “Ma’am?”
He held out his hand and said, “I’m Dan, and you are?”
She rolled her eyes and gave him a look of hesitation before she took his hand and replied, “Dan, I’m Jan.”
He lifted his brows and said, “What a wonderful name. So nice to meet you, Jan.” He kept shaking her hand, his eyes intent on hers. Her hands were warm and soft, and she smelled good, really good for someone who looked like she had just come from the gym. Maybe she was on her way to the gym, though, he thought. Lots of women get dolled up before the gym, and why would a woman go to a bookstore before she went to the gym? And, how come—
“Are you finished?” she said.
“Huh? … Oh,” he stopped shaking her hand. “Sorry, I get carried away meeting new people sometimes.”
“Uh-huh, I see.”
She twitched her lips a little and then asked, “So, you know a lot about the classics?”
He shrugged and said, “Well, I’m a little rusty. I read most of them in high school, but I’ve been trying to go back and re-read them. I’ve found I have a new appreciation now that I’m a little bit older.” He pinched his fingers together and squinted his eye. “What’s that you have there?” he said, snatching a book she had tucked in her armpit.
“Hey! Give that back,” she said, trying to jump up and snatch it back from his grasp.
“Easy now … ah, I see … you like Hemingway. For Whom the Bell Tolls,” he said, in a deep narrating voice, handing it back.
“Yes, he is currently one of my favorites. You’re well read, so what do you think about him?”
Dan crossed his arms and rubbed his chin as he looked up.
“Well, if you like writers that are undereducated, over-achieving alcoholics … he’s great.”
“Really,” she said with a bit of a laugh,” and what about Salinger?”
“Interesting, but I’m pretty sure his overly popular book was the result of countless spells of blasphemy.”
“Rowling?”
He shrugged, but his adrenaline was beginning to pump.
“Melville?” her eyes flashed like a gypsy dancer as she said it.
“I liked Billy Bud.”
Every question was drawing them closer together.
“King?”
He gave two thumbs up.
“Meyer?”
“Who?”
The conversation they had started in the book store continued all the way back to his hotel room. Dan was naked under the sheets, staring at the textured ceiling in wonder. A sultry red-head of high pedigree was in the bathroom. He could hear the shower running as he imagined the steamy water rolling down her excellent curves.
“I can’t believe this,” he muttered, as he tried to keep himself distracted from his thoughts.
The shower stopped running, and an icy bundle of nerves slithered through his body. He wanted to hear anything but the air conditioner at that point. It started to seem like it was running forever. He fiddled with the TV remote, turning the TV on, then off again.
“What do I do?”
The bathroom door opened, adding more light to the room that quickly faded. Jan emerged as a silhouette, a white hotel towel wrapped around her chest, hanging down to her upper thigh. She looked even more incredible than he could have ever imagined in the bookstore.
“I hope you didn’t mind the wait, but I just didn’t feel right getting into some nice clean sheets after sweating at the gym for two hours.”
Dan’s tongue clove to the roof of his mouth, but he managed a wide-eyed nod.
She slipped under the sheets beside him and flipped the towel onto the air conditioner. He was pretty sure he had never done anything like this com
pletely sober before, not with a woman that wasn’t his wife or girlfriend, anyway. Her body was cool and silky as it pressed closer into his. Then a disturbing thought splintered inside his Medulla Oblongata. He let out a short laugh.
“What was that?” she said, her voice purring as she fingered his chin.
“Ah … nothing, just…”
“Just what, Dan?” she said, whispering in his ear, pressing her body closer to his.
Dan could feel her heart beating. She felt as incredible as she looked.
“Nothing,” he said, but her tongue was starting to tickle.
“You better tell me, or you might miss out on something special.”
He looked at her, a wry smile on his face. Her eyes were beautiful and seductive. He let out a short laugh again.
“Okay, it’s just that it’s incredible. I mean, you and me here. I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, you don’t have to say anything,” she said, running her thigh up and down his.
“I can’t believe it, though. Here you are, wondrous—”
“I like that word.”
“Enchanting—”
“I like that one, too.”
“Intelligent, a total stranger, and naked in my hotel bed.”
He felt her body stiffen.
“What?”
He rolled his head around. “Well, you know, it’s an amazing connection.”
“For two amazing people,” she added, beginning to nibble on his neck, “now let an amazing thing happen.”
But it wasn’t going to happen; Dan’s mind was in a moral tug of war. He fought it. Don’t say anything else. Don’t do it! Dan, don’t do it! Please!
“When I saw you in the store, I thought, what a perfect woman! She has everything. I mean, a hundred thoughts ran through my mind, most of them indecent, and now they are all about to come true,” he said, and paused.
“Yes, Dan?”
“And here you are, in my bed, a goddess that a thousand men would fight to the death for, and I can’t stop thinking …”
“Yes,” she purred, as her delicate finger swirled figure eights in his chest.
“…What kind of woman goes to screw a man she just met in a book store? Dammit!” He slapped himself in the head. “Dammit!”
He couldn’t look at her, but he felt that supple body beside him catch on fire. He felt her body get out of the bed and heard the bathroom door slam.
“I’m such an idiot.”
It wasn’t ten seconds before she came back out, back in her outfit, facing him with a face red with fury.
“You think I’m some kinda a slut, you son-of-a-bitch! Do you? Do you!? Well, let me tell you about this slut. She thought she met a nice guy in a bookstore. She was lonely because she found out that her soon-to-be ex-husband had been was banging her best friend for years! I meet a man that makes me laugh for the first time in months of being totally miserable, and I think, 'What the heck; I deserve a good time!' But no, he’s a self-righteous prick!”
She shook her fist in his face.
“He’s a prick who was just fine taking me back to his hotel room and banging me like a street whore, but all of a sudden he finds his nobility!?”
She wagged her finger in his face.
“If I had a gun, I’d shoot your balls off, you little prick!”
Her voice was shaking, and she was sobbing. She sat down on the edge of the bed and began to wail.
He wanted to reach out and touch her but he was scared.
“Sorry, I just—”
“Save it, you asshole! You know, my husband may have cheated on me, but he never made me fell as lowly as you.”
She got up and headed for the door.
He yelled after her, “I’m sorry, it’s just that—”
“YOU’RE A JERK!”
SLAM!
CHAPTER 20
Dan sat at his desk inside his apartment working on his invention. He rubbed his eyes as he fiddled with a small device that fit inside the palm of his hand. He yawned, and then rubbed his fingers over his teeth, suddenly realizing that he hadn’t brushed them yet. He looked at the clock on the computer screen. What? It was getting late in the evening, and he could have sworn that he just started and it was still morning. His stomach was rumbling as he got up and tripped over an orange power cord that was coiled up on the floor.
He tossed his invention onto the table where a bunch of other mechanical parts and electric wires and circuits were piled up. Inside the kitchen, he poured coffee into his mug and took a sip. It was cold. He stuck it in the microwave and set the timer to a minute. A faint knocking came at the door. That’s odd.
He walked over, opened the door, and to his pleasant surprise it was a young woman. It was Sherri, the girl who skipped classes on sunny days and flaunted around the poolside in her bikini.
“Hi Dan, what are you into tonight?”
He scratched his head as his heart started to crawl up in his throat. Sherri’s perfume was intoxicating. Her body swayed inside the doorway, and she smelled like she'd had one drink too many.
“I’m gonna head out. I’ve got some friends I’m meeting in a little bit.”
“Come on, Dan. I’ve been flirting with you from day one. Are you telling me you can't take an hour out of your time to hit this?”
He was compelled to check out his options from head to toe.
Nice legs, check. Nice butt ... Really nice butt, check. Nice breasts, check. Nice face, check. Perfect.
“Sherri, it’s just that, well, I’m dealing with some things.”
Sherri stuck her finger in his chest and said, “Like what, Sexy Man?”
“Like a divorce, and I’m pretty askew about it. Can we maybe try this some other time?”
She tried to force her way past him, but he didn’t budge.
“Dan, I think you need to let me in.”
He grabbed her by the shoulder and eased her back.
“No, what I need is something normal, just for now, anyway.”
“Well, what’s normal these days?” she said, pressing her chest against his.
Something about the way she said it was irritating, like normal was a bad thing.
“If you don’t know, then I don’t want any part of you,” he said, shoving her back over the threshold and shutting the door in her pretty but befuddled face.
He could hear her angry mutterings on the other side.
“Fine, I’ll just go screw the guy next door. Normal! I don’t know what in the hell that means.”
Dan caught his breath as he slid down the door. He held his hand on his chest and could feel his heart thundering inside. Man, I can’t believe I just did that.
Dan, Skylar, and shooter were inside the Buick on a stakeout. The entire car smelled like cheese steaks and potato fries. Dan was sipping on a cola while Skylar and Shooter were polishing off their first six pack of beer. Shooter was in back, his head hanging out of the window, trying to toss the beer bottle into a nearby trashcan. The bottle banged off the can and shattered on the ground.
“Oops,” he said, giggling.
Dan said, “You idiot! Are you trying to get us caught?”
“Aw, don’t —hic— worry about it, Dan. There’s never anyone around in these state parks. We won’t see anyone, and besides, everyone has pretty much cleared out for the day.” The little man twisted the top off another bottle of beer. “Dan, have a beer.”
“Nah, I’m fine.”
Well—hic—you don’t look fine; you look more like you haven’t gotten laid in a year. Have a beer, loosen up.”
Dan shook his head and nibbled on his nails. He was full of regret, missing out on two of the sexiest women he had ever been within ten feet of. He couldn’t shake the feeling of Jan’s damp body nuzzled against his or the image of Sherri’s heavy breasts jiggling inside his door. He was beginning to think that something was wrong with him. How could he be norm
al when he had passed up on a pair of women like that? He shook his head and turned in his seat toward Shooter.
“Speaking of getting laid, what happened to your woman … What was her name?”
Skylar’s deep voice replied, “Liz.”
“Yeah, Liz. Where’s Liz, Shooter?”
Shooter slumped back in his seat and rolled his eyes.
“Ah, that bimbo, I broke it off on her. She was always yapping all the time.” He gestured with talking hands. “Yap-yap-yap-yap. On and on. A gold digger, too. Man, I was broke two days after I met her. Aw, she was no good.” Shooter’s little face had a distant look as his voice trailed off.
“He ran out of pills, too,” Skylar added.
Shooter shot back saying, “I didn’t need those pills, you midget!”
“Hey!” Dan interjected. “Don’t kick my seat!”
“Sorry Dan, but Skylar’s about to get his ass kicked if he doesn’t stop talking about those pills.”
Skylar unbuckled his seat belt, removed his hat, and said, “What? You and what army’s gonna kick my ass?”
“All right, calm down, we don’t need a blood bath inside my car. I just had the upholstery cleaned.”
“I didn’t need the pills, Dan! I never even used them before. I didn’t have to.”
“Huh,” Skylar said, turning back around.
Dan had a feeling it was going to be one of those nights. When the brothers drank a tad too much, they could get over the top. Dan had to make sure he kept them calm.
“Okay, so what’s the deal? You say this is the place?”
Shooter leaned over the back of his seat, “Yeah, yeah. Now listen to me. We’ve been following that guy from Walmart around, like you said. Anyway, we know where he lives, eats, poops, and drinks now. Let me tell you, he’s not the brightest guy in the world for a dope dealer.”
For whatever reason, Skylar and Shooter liked doing the things Dan put them up to. They were loyal and had been ever since Dan met them. Years ago, a couple of big boys had cornered them in the bar. They were just a couple of small dudes having a good time, when one of the guys didn’t like Shooter talking to some girl. It had looked like grown-ups picking on little children, as both of the brothers were pinned up against the wall. Nobody was doing a thing, and a bunch of people were laughing, including some of Dan’s own friends. Before Dan had realized what he was doing, he'd smashed a pool cue over the top of one of the men’s heads. The man had dropped Skylar and turned on him with a growl. It had been the only time Dan took an ass-kicking in his life, but his little friends had proved worth it.