“I think so,” Radhika says.
“Can we talk tonight and go over it?”
Haley Zeligman appears out of nowhere. Linking an arm through Gabe’s, she homes in on Radhika with laser eyes. “I’ve been waiting for, like, half an hour. Why are you so late?”
Gabe says, “Sorry. I guess rehearsal ran long.”
Haley turns her glare on me.
Yikes. I step out of the line of fire.
“Maybe you could call me after dinner.” He writes his number on a sheet of script and hands it to Radhika. Haley about yanks his arm out of the socket.
Everyone can hear her giving him the royal smackdown as they leave.
Radhika waits for me while I answer a question for the lighting crew. Mario’s still there, riffing on his keyboard. I tell him about Ryan’s idea for the closet.
“Dope,” he says. “I’ll cogitate on it.”
As we walk toward the exit, I ask Radhika, “Do you know why Azure’s pissed at me?”
She bites her lip. “Because you asked me to prom.”
“Is there a law against that?”
Radhika’s voice thins. “I think you need to talk to Azure.”
I would, if she were speaking to me.
Earlier I was going to ask Azure what she thought about me asking Radhika to prom, whether Radhika would go with me. But I guess I was afraid of her answer. Now I’m sorry I didn’t ask, because I made a fool of myself.
Radhika’s quiet on the way home, introspective or something. She can be that way and it feels perfectly normal. But today it just feels weird. When we get to her house, I’m almost glad to see her go.
AZURE
I tune in to my nano, trying to do homework. I don’t want to believe it, but the more I think about Luke’s motive, the more I’m convinced I’m right, because being a bisexual guy is what makes him cool and special. I just can’t believe he used Radhika, our best friend, in such a meaningless way.
Jerk.
Men are jerks.
I grab my cell to call and tell him what I think, then throw the phone down because I don’t even want to hear his voice. Instead, I get up and log in to my laptop. As I’m waiting for it to boot up, I read my self-affirmation: “Share your deepest self with your truest friends.”
Funny. Yesterday I would’ve considered Luke to be one of my truest friends. Now I’m thankful I didn’t share my deepest self with him. I’m not sure why I didn’t. Maybe I was afraid he’d run right to Radhika and tell her, and I want to be the one who does it, in my own way and in my own time. Maybe I thought he’d minimize my feelings, like I was just a horndog, the way he is.
I link to Prom Central and see that fifty-three people have now responded to the prom attendance question. The ones who’ve answered are either Definitely Coming or Most Likely Coming. I didn’t include Absolutely Not Coming because I don’t want people to even consider that as an option.
I retrieve my cell and upload the pictures I took in the formalwear room. There is a decent selection of suits and tuxes, except for the ugly baby-blue one. Luke would love it. I write captions for the thumbnails, including prices, and let people know where they can buy the clothes. I tell them their purchases will benefit Kids with Cancer. Then I add, “Formalwear is not required to come to prom.”
I link to Facebook and find two messages. The first is from Luke: “Why do you want to kill me? What’d I do?” I ignore him.
The second message is a surprise. It’s from Shauna.
Hi Azure,
I was wondering if Connor said anything to you about who he’s asking to prom. A friend of mine (read into that) wants him to ask her, but she doesn’t know how to drop hints. Do you think this friend should just ask him? And what do you think he’ll say?
I sit there staring at the screen, almost laughing out loud at the absurdity. Of course, it’s not funny for Shauna.
She added a PS:
PS: Maybe you could ask him what he thinks of me? I know it’s juvenile, but the reason I joined the prom com is because I heard Connor was on it. I really, really like him. I think I’ve been a valuable member, don’t you?
What is this, extortion? She’s been a pain in the butt.
I don’t even know how to answer her. I haven’t picked up one vibe that he’s into her at all. No doubt he’s got a lineup of potential prom dates now, since every girl in school would give her right arm to be his accessory. Ironic that he asks the one girl who has absolutely no interest in him.
A third message arrives as I’m checking my wall. I return to my messages and see that it’s from Radhika. My pulse races. She wrote:
Azure,
I’m quitting prom com. Sorry to let you down.
Radhika
I call her, but her cell goes to voice mail.
Shit. I have to be at work in fifteen minutes, so I rush out the door, redialing her number as I race to the light-rail station.
After the three thousandth call, she finally answers. “What do you mean you’re quitting prom com?” I yell. So many cars are passing and horns honking, people talking on their cells and construction workers drilling through concrete, that it’s impossible to communicate.
“I was wrong to let you talk me into it.”
“Why? You’ve contributed a lot.”
“Like what? I attend the meetings. Basically, I take up space.”
“You wrote the program to match people to singles and groups.”
“It took all of twenty minutes,” she says.
I panic. She can’t quit. “We’re so close to the end. I need you to help with the silent auction.” My train rolls into the stop and the doors whoosh open. People hustling out almost knock me over. “My train’s here,” I tell Ra-dhika. “Don’t quit. You’ll let everyone down.” Most of all me.
“Thanks for the guilt trip.” She disconnects.
I didn’t mean for it to sound that way. I want to call to apologize, but there’s no cell reception in the train. Radhika probably figured out why Luke asked her to prom. My stomach clenches. What if she said yes? I never even considered the possibility she might’ve said yes. She never told me she liked him that way, and I know she would have. Wouldn’t she? Did she ask me if Luke was bi because she has feelings for him? I find that hard to believe. Impossible to believe. I don’t want to believe it. The more likely scenario is that she felt obligated to say yes, since he’s her BFF.
As soon as I get off the train, I dial her number. Voice mail.
I call Luke.
“Hey,” he answers. “ ’Sup?”
“What did Radhika say when you asked her to prom?”
“That’s for me to know and you to guess.”
“Don’t be a douche tool. What’d she say?”
“What do you think she said?”
I raise my voice, “Just tell me!”
He sighs. “She said no. Didn’t you see my trail of tears? The stake through my wounded heart?”
“Shut up. You don’t really like her, so why did you ask her?”
He pauses. “What makes you think I don’t like her?”
“Because you can’t. You only want people to believe you’re bi, when you know you’re really not.”
“Excuse me?”
He heard me. I get to the thrift shop and pause outside the door. “Now she wants to quit prom com.”
Luke goes, “She can’t do that.”
“I know! Everything’s screwed up, and it’s all your fault. You and Connor. She probably feels like she hurt Connor’s feelings so bad he’ll never forgive her. And in your case, she never wants to see you again.”
“That’s not true. When did she tell you that?” he asks.
I’m so pissed. Even if it were true, I wouldn’t answer.
Luke says, “Did it ever occur to you that I might be in love with Radhika?”
“What?” I shift my cell from one ear to the other in case I heard him wrong. “You’re lying.”
“No, I’m not. Is it c
razy, or what? After all these years.”
I blink snowflakes off my eyelashes and stare blindly ahead. “You never told me.”
“I was going to.”
“When?”
“Earlier. Before I ruined both my and Radhika’s lives by asking my best friend to prom. Not that you aren’t my BFF, too.”
I hang up and head inside. A roaring fills my head.
My cell rings immediately. Luke. I don’t answer. He calls again.
“Azure, is that you?” Louisa comes out from the back. “Would you mind sorting through the donations we got in today?”
“No problem.” My voice sounds muffled, far away.
My cell rings again. I stuff it in my purse as Louisa returns to the back room. While I’m sorting, my cell keeps ringing. Text messages. I know who they’re from. Finally, I can’t stand it.
I read the first one:
I’m sorry I didn’t spill my guts. Maybe if I had, I could’ve saved everyone all this torment. And I mean that.
I remember my affirmation to share my true self, and a pang of guilt stabs me.
Should I? Can I?
No. My feelings for Radhika are too intimate. What if she turns me down, too?
Louisa wanders by and sees me with my cell in my hand. I haven’t been texting, but I haven’t been sorting, either.
“I’m sorry,” I tell Louisa. “I’ll work an extra hour for no pay.”
She doesn’t reply, and I wonder if I’ll be a full-time volunteer after tonight.
Neither Radhika nor Luke speaks the whole way to school, and the tension drives me berserk. I just want to start jabbering about the weather or something, anything. As we roll into the parking lot, I say to Radhika, “About prom—”
“If one more person asks me to prom, I’m going to scream. I don’t mean you, Luke. Or Connor, either.”
Luke swivels his head around. In unison, we both say, “Who else asked you?”
Radhika grabs her bag. “I don’t want to talk about it.” She opens the door and scoots out, while Luke and I gape at each other.
“Who could it be?” I ask.
“No idea.”
Luke snags my arm as I’m hustling to catch up to Ra-dhika. “I figured something out last night,” he says. “You’re in love with her, too. Why else would you call me a liar? Why would you care if I asked her? And Connor, too?”
My face flares. “You’re wrong.”
“You think I don’t know you. But I do. Just tell me the truth,” he says.
The words stick in my throat. My mouth feels like it’s coated with chalk dust. “Please, Luke. Don’t tell her.”
“Oh. Em. Gee,” he says. “Both of us?”
“I’ll hate you forever if you breathe a word.”
“Don’t you think she knows? She’s not blind or dumb.”
“You didn’t know.” At least, not until now.
“Yeah, but I am blind and dumb.”
“You’re not dumb. And you’re not blind, either.”
“Luke, the omniscient, sees all. Except what’s right in front of his face.”
“How do you know you love her?” I ask. Because I doubt very much he feels the same things I do.
“Let’s see. Sweaty palms. Pounding pulse. Goose bumps whenever she’s around. Fluttery stomach. Hard-on…”
“Okay.” I stop him. Same physical reaction, minus the hard-on.
“Plus, love is something you just know.”
I can’t argue with that.
Radhika’s entered the building and disappeared. Luke whispers, “Ask her to prom. Maybe she’s been waiting for you to do it.”
“You heard her,” I say. “She doesn’t want anyone else to ask.”
“She doesn’t want the wrong person to ask.”
I think about that. A surge of hope races through me. She did give me that valentine.
We hear the bell and hurry inside, where Radhika’s waiting for us. “I told my parents at dinner about the silent auction and asked Mom if she had anything to donate. She said she’d go through the garage. Then she asked who I was going to prom with, and that’s when I completely lost it. I told them I’m not going to prom and I’m not going to Yale, either—and that I am joining the Peace Corps.”
“What?” Luke and I say together. I add, “You have to go to prom.”
Luke elbows me.
Radhika’s eyes fill with tears. I snake my arm around her waist. “What happened when you told them”—I gulp down the catch in my throat—“about the Peace Corps?”
“They just looked at me. I got up from the table and went to my room. They didn’t say a word; they didn’t even stick their heads in to say good night. But I could hear Mom crying in her room later. Then this morning Dad’s waiting in the living room for me to come down. He says, ‘Sit.’ Then he goes, ‘How important is this prom to you?’ I say, ‘Extremely important. It’s the most important thing in my life.’ ”
My spirits lift.
“Which is a total lie,” she adds, “but I know it means the world to you two.”
My heart sinks again.
The last bell blares and we’re almost trampled from behind. Luke culls us from the herd.
“What did your dad say?” Luke asks.
Radhika gazes off over Luke’s shoulder, then meets my eyes and Luke’s. “He said he’d finance our prom if I promised to go to Yale.”
“No.” I shake my head. “That’s wrong.”
“So, anyway, the prom is saved. Have a good time.” Radhika pivots and speeds off toward her locker. I call after her: “Radhika!”
A hall monitor stops me and Luke and says, “Do you have a pass?”
Luke mutters, “Yeah. I pass gas.”
The hall monitor writes us up.
As we’re standing there, waiting for our pink slips, I say to Luke, “We can’t let Radhika’s dad do that. We have to raise the money ourselves.”
“You think?” Luke asks sarcastically.
“Shut up.” I snatch the pink slip out of the monitor’s hand and hurry to put distance between me and Mr. Omniscience.
LUKE
“Houston, we have a problem,” Mr. Rosen says as he walks into the art studio. “Mr. Gerardi is getting calls from parents complaining about our”—he makes air quotes—“ ‘alternative prom.’ ”
“Why?” Azure asks. “What’s wrong with it? It’s”—she air-quotes back—“ ‘alternative.’ They should look up the word.”
“Where’s Radhika?” Connor asks.
Azure scowls at me, like it’s my fault Radhika’s dropping out of the committee and not going to prom.
“She had a test today,” I lie.
Mr. Gerardi appears at the door and invites himself in. He pulls out a chair next to Mr. Rosen. “I guess you heard.”
“Who cares what the parents think?” Azure says. “It’s our prom.”
Mr. Gerardi sets a folder on the table and opens it. “Piercing and tattooing? Paintball wars? Gambling?”
“Who said we were gambling?” Shauna asks.
Mr. Gerardi reads the list he must’ve printed off from Prom Central. “What’s ‘gaming competition’?”
“It’s Wii games,” I explain. “Although I play a wicked hand of Texas hold ’em.”
Mr. Gerardi sighs. “When I asked you to plan a nontraditional prom, I didn’t think you’d extend the boundaries beyond good taste.” He looks directly at Mr. Rosen.
Azure says, “I don’t remember you giving us boundaries. You were open to the idea of expanding the meaning of prom, which means including everyone’s interests. We did a monkey survey….”
“I have a copy of the survey.” He holds up the stapled report. “You know a lot of this is just joking around. Tattooing and piercing? Pony rides? Are you really going to sell weed?”
I raise my hand. “It was free weed, if I remember.”
Mr. Gerardi drills his eyes through my skull. “The PTSA is meeting tonight at seven to discuss your plans
for prom. Be there.” He gets up and leaves.
Mr. Rosen says, “Hang tight.” He follows Gerardi out.
We all look at one another and start grousing. “What’s it to them what we do?” Azure says. “They don’t have to come.”
“Yeah,” I say. “This is not your mother’s prom.”
“Or your father’s,” Connor says.
I press my hands together. “Our Father, Who art in heaven…”
Connor’s the only one who laughs.
Mr. Rosen comes back in. “No getting out of it. We all have to go.” He shoulders his backpack and leaves again. Azure stands and says, “We’re going to stick together, aren’t we?” She’s addressing Shauna more than anyone else. Shauna’s eyes are fixed on the table. She raises them and sees all of us staring at her.
“I didn’t rat us out,” she says.
Under her breath, I hear Azure hiss, “Sure.”
The good thing about the PTSA meeting is that attendance is sparse. I don’t know if that’s how it always is or if calling a hasty meeting doesn’t give mothers time to cancel their spa treatments. I count only two men in the audience. One of them is Azure’s dad. He looks totally hot in his cop uniform.
Here’s how it goes down:
The PTSA president (Shauna’s mom) reads from our announcement page on Prom Central: “Seniors, this’ll be the COOLEST PROM EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MAN- AND WOMANKIND.” I told Shauna to write that. She listed the activities:
Live band (Putrid Wixen)
Karaoke
Drag show
Disco dancers
Spotlight dances
Street dancing (hip-hop, krunking, popping, locking, thrashing, etc.)
Gaming competition (bring your own portable Wii)
Poetry slam
Car show
Piercing and tattoo artist on-site (not included in the cost of prom)
Did we all agree on this? Maybe Shauna thought, since no one opposed, that she was outvoted.
Shauna’s mom continues to read: “Location: Ramada Inn Central. Formalwear is optional. Vote now for your royal court (gender-free nominees are welcome): king, queen, princesses, princes. Tickets are only twenty-five dollars.” Mrs. Creighton looks up. “Who decided all this?”