Chapter Three
An hour later, I wiped my hand across the foggy mirror and stared at my reflection. Standing naked and wet in one of Ivan's guest bathrooms, I felt incredibly off-kilter. I don't think I ever could have imagined my night would end like this. How the hell had this night gone so wrong? I'd been this close to finding Ruby but she'd vanished without a trace.
Maybe that was a good thing. She'd obviously evaded the Albanians who were hot on her tail. If she'd been there when I'd arrived, they would have grabbed us both or separated us or worse—possibly even killed us right there. Maybe she could stay safe a little longer. I didn't doubt Ivan would find her. He didn't strike me as the kind of man to break a promise.
I couldn't shake the feeling that something was happening between us. Something real. I'd never had such an instant connection to any man. He definitely wasn't the sort I normally crushed on or dated. Ivan was…well…he was complicated, wasn’t he?
It was obvious that the rumors about him were true. He was a man who had once been deeply involved in Houston's criminal underworld. He'd probably been involved in it way back in Russia, too. Those tattoos weren't just for show. The way the Albanians—that man, Besian, especially—had caved to him hadn't escaped me. Ivan said Besian was one of the most dangerous men I'd ever meet. What did that say about Ivan?
I'd noticed the way he'd purposely kept his voice low and even with me during the car ride to his house. Even though anger had been radiating off him in waves, he hadn't once lost control. I sensed he was a man who was always in complete control of himself. In a way, it was infuriating. He wasn't giving me any reasons to dislike him or distance myself. If anything, I found him even more intriguing.
The sound of my phone ringing pulled me out of the guest bathroom. Towel wrapped tightly around my body, I headed into the attached bedroom and found my phone on the bed next to my purse. Vivi's face filled my phone's screen.
"Hello?'
"Oh my god! Are you okay? What happened? Should we come over?"
"Vivi, calm down! I'm okay."
"Are you sure? I was getting off shift and Nikolai wouldn't let me take the bus home. He had his driver bring me to the apartment. I asked why and he told me what happened." Vivi sounded close to tears. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine." I sat down on the bed and slumped forward with a loud sigh. "Ruby called me. I was so close but I missed her. By minutes, I'm guessing. And then that man showed up and Ivan got there in time to save me. It was scary but Ivan kept me safe. He protected me."
"I could just smack you, Erin! We told you to call us if you needed help. I mean, come on! At least Lena packs heat."
"I know." I cringed at my stupidity. "But I was so worried Ruby would run or pass out or something. You know how she is."
"Yeah," Vivi said, her voice unnaturally soft. "When this is over, when she's safe and everything is okay again, you're going to have to make some hard choices about her. You can't keep enabling her."
Any other time, I would have argued with Vivi but not tonight. She was right. "I keep thinking about how crazy this has all become. I always want to save her. I'm always running around cleaning up after Ruby. I should have…I should have cut her loose a long time ago, I think."
The pained sob that escaped my throat was filled with years of grief and anguish. How many times had Ruby stolen from me? How many times had I come home to find her druggie friends passed out on our couch? How many times had her dealers accosted me or shaken me down for her owed debts? This thing now was just a culmination of years of bad choices—bad choices I'd supported by enabling her with a place to stay and money.
"She's your sister, Erin." Vivi sniffled on the other end of the phone, no doubt crying right along with me. Unlike Lena who held everything inside and refused to show any emotion, Vivi showed such warmth and empathy for people. "We do stupid things for the people we love."
I thought about the drug-addled, mentally ill mother who had nearly killed Vivi as a child and the father who had chosen his life with a hardcore outlaw motorcycle gang over her. The same father who had manipulated a twelve-year-old Vivi into helping him run drugs. To be betrayed and used in that way was a stain that never washed off. If anyone understood what I was going through right now, it was Vivi.
"I've tried to get her help so many times. I've dragged her to meetings. I've taken her to doctors for help detoxing at home. Remember when I worked three jobs last summer to pay for ninety days of rehab? She didn't even last a full month."
"Maybe this will be the nightmare that pushes her to change. Hopefully she'll finally wake the fuck up and see how badly these drugs are ruining her life and yours."
I wasn't so sure. I'd assumed a nasty overdose last summer and a brush with drug court earlier in the year would have done it but neither had touched her.
"So where are you now?"
"I'm at Ivan's house."
"Oh. Wow."
"Yeah."
"So I guess you're really safe, huh?"
"Seems that way."
"Well—what's his house like? I mean, you know, like is it obnoxiously huge with all the money he's made with his gym and his fighters?"
"It's big," I confirmed. "It's very beautifully furnished and very nice."
"And Ivan?"
"He's been very nice to me. He didn't have to put his neck on the line with those Albanians but he did."
There was a pause on the other end of the line. Finally, Vivi asked, "Do you think he like, you know, likes you?"
I swallowed hard. "Yes."
"And you? Do you like him?"
"Yes. No?" I rubbed my forehead. "Maybe?"
Vivi laughed. "Well which one is it, Erin?"
"Yes," I said finally. "I do. Don't get me wrong. He's big and scary but there's just something about him. It's in his eyes. He's…vulnerable."
"Vulnerable? Ivan Markovic?" Vivi practically guffawed. "You've never seen that guy fight. I hear he's a vicious beast, Erin."
"I don't doubt it but I'm not talking about his skills with his fists. I'm talking about emotionally. I think he's vulnerable that way."
"Aren't we all?"
Vivi had me there. "Yeah, I guess."
"You know I'm right. Look, I've got to go. I've got laundry to finish and I'm going in to work the morning shift tomorrow."
"Why so many hours this week?"
"Supplies," Vivi said. "I'm working on something new and beautiful but it's different and bigger. I need more canvas and paints. It all adds up."
"Something for a new show maybe?"
"Maybe," she said coyly. "You'll have to wait and see."
"Tease!"
"Ha! But, speaking of teasing, be careful with Ivan. If he's interested in you and you're interested in him, it could get complicated, Erin. He's not the only one that's vulnerable right now."
As always, she gave wise advice far above her twenty-one years. "Duly noted, Vivi."
We said our goodbyes. I headed back into the bathroom and slipped into the grey t-shirt and black boxers Ivan had lent me. One of his men was supposed to bring me some things from my apartment but he hadn't returned yet. Ivan's boxers were huge on me so I fished around in my purse for a couple of silver snap hair clips and used them to gather and pinch the extra fabric on one side of my waist.
Satisfied with my borrowed clothing, I left the bedroom in search of Ivan. He'd fixed me a sandwich earlier in the kitchen and had given me a quick tour of the place on the way up to the guest room. In the hallway off the living room, Kostya spotted me. Without a word, he pointed to a room at the end of the corridor. I nodded and smiled, silently thanking him for his help.
I rapped my knuckles against the paneled door and waited. Ivan said something in Russian I didn't understand. His tone sounded inviting enough so I twisted the knob and pushed the door open. I found Ivan sitting behind a desk. The bright white glow of two computer monitors sitting on the far right side of his desk painted him with light. He seemed irr
itated with something. I just hoped it wasn't me.
He didn't look up until after I'd closed the door behind me. His eyes widened slightly when he caught sight of me leaning against the door. "Erin."
"Hey." I gestured to the door. "I can go if you're busy."
He shook his head. "No, I'm just working out some training issues at the gym. Losing three fighters opened up some spots. Now I have fighters asking to be shuffled around to different trainers and others trying to get into the gym."
"I see."
His interested gaze roamed me. The corners of his mouth lifted in a smile. "You look better in those clothes than I ever have."
I laughed nervously and played with the front of the cotton shirt. "Thanks by the way."
He waved his hand. "It's no trouble."
"You know it is," I countered. "I've caused you a lot of trouble in the last, oh, eight hours or so." I hesitated before asking, "Do you regret it?"
"Helping you?" He shook his head. "No."
"Are you sure?"
Ivan studied me a moment. Finally, he flicked his thick fingers. "Come here, Erin."
Mouth dry, I crossed the distance between us. Ivan pointed at the empty spot on his desk. I hopped up onto it and self-consciously tugged the hem of his borrowed shirt down against my thighs. He leaned back in his chair and asked, "What are you going to do after we find your sister?"
I considered his question. "Vivi just asked me the same thing."
His brow furrowed. "Short girl? Black hair? Works at Samovar?"
I nodded. "She knows you."
"She should," he said with a laugh. "I always tip well."
I smiled at him. "I'm sure she appreciates it."
"She better," he joked. "Every time I leave there, my wallet is noticeably lighter."
I was surprised by the way smiling and laughter softened his harsh features. I rather liked this new glimpse into Ivan. Maybe he was all tough and scary on the outside but soft and sweet on the inside.
With a long, slow exhale, I said, "I don't know what I'm going to do after we find Ruby. I'll probably try to talk her into rehab again."
"It won't work." Ivan spoke with such certainty. "She has to want to change. She has to want to kick the drugs. You can't do it for her."
I picked at the hem of the shirt. "I used to think that if I just loved her more and supported her and showed her that she had so many reasons to get clean she would. Now I'm not so sure."
"Look, I've never been addicted to drugs or alcohol but I know how hard it is to make a change. I know how difficult it is to walk away from a certain kind of life and start a new, different one. It's terrifying."
I lifted my gaze to his. "You mean when you left the mob?"
Ivan's unwavering gaze held mine. "Yes."
"Why?"
"Why did I leave?" He sucked in a noisy breath. "I'd never enjoyed that life. Some men do. It was never one I wanted. It was a necessity."
"Necessity? How?"
"Back in Russia, we grew up in an orphanage. You can't even imagine how awful it was."
I could actually. I'd seen news reports on the current state of some Russian orphanages. I could only imagine what they were like thirty years ago.
"You said we. Who is we?"
"Nikolai and Yuri and Dimitri," he explained. "We were all there together as boys. We ran away as teenagers. Yuri and Dimitri found their way into the military. Nikolai and I found a different path. We learned how to survive. When things changed, when democracy and capitalism came, we realized we were in a unique position to make money." Sighing slowly, he lifted his hands and tucked them behind his head. "But then I came here and found a way to get into some honest work."
"Fighting?"
He shook his head. "I never fought in any kind of professional match."
I frowned. "No?"
"I did my fighting in a different kind of cage."
"Oh." I glanced at his heavily scarred and tattooed hands. "Oh."
He nodded. "Word of mouth sold me as a trainer. A few winning fighters later and I had my business."
"But all this?" I gestured around his luxurious home. "It didn't come from fighting then?"
"No."
"Well then how did you make your money?"
Ivan dared to stroke my knee. His rough, callused palm rasped my skin. "It's better you don't ask that question."
His remark sent up a red flag but the sensation of his big, strong hand gliding over my leg left me unable to concentrate on it. All I could think about was the feeling of his warm skin on mine. I was so used to the soft hands of guys who worked in retail or office settings. There was something primal about Ivan's touch.
"Do I frighten you, Erin?" His fingertips trailed along my outer thigh.
I shivered under his feather-light touch. "Not really."
"No?"
I shook my head. "I think beneath all this," I gestured to his tattoos and scars, "you're probably the sweetest man I've ever met."
He snorted with amusement. "I wouldn't go that far."
"How far are you going to go?" It was a bold question to ask but I had to know.
"I don't know," he admitted quietly. His hand moved to my inner thigh but he didn't go higher than the bottom of the boxers. I sensed he warred with himself to keep his hand there, just there, and not any closer to that most intimate part of me.
Remembering our conversation at the gym, I asked, "Is this what you want for payment? For helping me?"
His gaze snapped to mine. The pained look on his face left me breathless. "No. I would never disrespect you in that way."
He started to pull his hand away but I squeezed my knees together and trapped it. My stomach wobbled with anticipation and excitement. "And what if I wanted you to?"
His lips twitched. "What if you wanted me to disrespect you?"
I thumped his forearm with my fingers. "You know what I mean. What if I wanted you?"
He grinned mischievously. "Wanted me to what?"
Now he was just playing with me. "Ivan…"
He sat forward and slid one muscled arm around my waist. His other hand cupped the back of my neck. Eye to eye with him, I held my breath. His heat and strength penetrated and enveloped me. Even with everything going on outside this room, I'd never felt safer.
"Be careful what you ask for, Erin," Ivan warned. "I'm not the kind of man to walk away from something I want." His thumb caressed the side of my neck. "One taste of you and I won't be able to let you go."
His warning did little to dissuade me. Instead I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his in a chaste kiss. A moment later, he growled, the sound so low and rumbling, that I shivered. Gathering me close, Ivan plundered my mouth, his tongue stabbing between my lips. I wound my arms around his neck and held on tight. He kissed me until I was dizzy and shuddering. Whatever concerns he'd harbored about getting involved with me were reduced to ashes by the passion flaming brightly between us.
I couldn't believe how different it felt to kiss Ivan. There was nothing awkward or uncertain in the way he captured my mouth, branding me with his insistent kisses. He knew what he wanted—and that was me. His skilled lips and tongue drove me wild as they ghosted along my jaw and down my neck. I cried out when he bit down gently on the fleshy spot where my neck curved into my collarbone. The sharp sensation traveled right down to my throbbing clit.
"Take this off," Ivan urged, his big hand jerking on the shirt I'd borrowed. "I have to see you. I have to touch you."
I grasped the bottom of the shirt and pulled it up and over my head. Ivan snatched away the shirt and tossed it on the floor. He stared at my naked breasts, his hungry gaze searing me and leaving me trembling. Those rough hands of his caressed my bare skin. He palmed my breasts and brushed his thumbs across my nipples. The dusky peaks drew tight to hard points.
"Ivan." I sighed his name as his lips skimmed my breast. He swirled his tongue around my nipple. The sensitive flesh responded instantly to his teasing licks. My breast
s ached as arousal saturated my hot, fast pumping blood.
While he tormented my breasts with his mouth, I ran my hands over his buzzed scalp, the short hairs surprisingly soft against my palms. I'd had a handful of sexual experiences but none of them had been as electric and exciting as this one. No man had ever spent so much time stoking the flames of my arousal. Maybe that was why my other experiences paled in comparison to this one.
Ivan whispered something in Russian, his voice husky and thick. He must have seen the confusion on my face. He nuzzled my neck and captured my mouth in a sensual kiss that made my toes curl against his thighs. "You're beautiful. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
And he meant it. He wasn't simply flattering me to get into my pants. He actually thought I was that beautiful.
I touched my lips to his and reached for the buttons lining his shirt. My fingers faltered as I tried to kiss and unbutton at the same time. Coordination was clearly not my strong suit. Ivan chuckled against my mouth and gently swept my hands away from his chest. "Let me."
I watched as he peeled out of the shirt. Inch after delicious inch of unbelievably muscled and toned chest was revealed to me. I couldn't keep my hands off him. I ran my palms up and down his sexy pecs and washboard stomach. The crisp hair on his chest was something of a novelty for me. The tattoos and scars now fully revealed showed me just how much pain he'd known.
Giving in to the urge to kiss those old wounds, I leaned down and kissed the puckered scar that marked a spot just below his right shoulder. I knew what it was the moment I saw it. He'd been shot at some point in the past. I knew because Vivi had similar scars on her chest and another on her belly.
Ivan's sharp intake of breath accompanied the touch of my lips as they danced from one scar to another. His fingers sifted through my short hair. He tugged gently, silently urging me to lift my mouth. He claimed me in a passionate kiss. Eyes blazing with desire, he broke the kiss and pushed me down on the desk.
Flat on my back, I hissed as the cold wooden surface met my hot skin. A heartbeat later I hissed for another reason. Ivan's mouth dropped to my belly. He kissed and licked and nibbled his way right down to the waistband of the boxers I wore. With a couple of powerful jerks, he rid me of the boxers. Totally naked now, I licked my lips and waited.
His mouth was on my leg now. He kissed his way up my calf before grasping both ankles and lifting my feet to the edge of the table. His hands cupped my inner thighs and pushed them gently apart. I held my breath at first, unable to draw even the smallest bit of air into my lungs as he petted my bare pussy.
"Oh!" I gasped as he parted the lips of my sex with his thick fingers. I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip as he carefully traced my pussy and slowly circled my clit. One big, long finger penetrated me, my slick nectar easing his entrance. I clawed at the desk in a desperate search for something to hold onto as he sensually teased me.
He whispered in Russian again, the words so alien to me but the meaning fully conveyed in his tone. He was fascinated by me. "I have to hear you come now."
"Ivan!" I cried out his name when his lips touched my pussy. I'd been on the receiving end of oral sex before but it had never felt like this. Ivan didn't attack my clit with fast strokes like my last boyfriend. No, he took his time exploring my pussy with his pliable tongue and avoided my clit.
He painted my entrance and nudged inside. My thighs tightened as the delicious sensation he evoked rocked me. He licked up one side of my labia and then the other before finally—finally!—letting his mouth drift toward my clit. He swirled his soft tongue around the pink pearl and suckled it gently. I arched up off the desk and moaned his name. "Ivan."
He groaned against my pussy and fluttered his tongue over the swollen bundle of nerves. I could feel myself growing wetter and wetter as that finger of his found its way inside me again. Thick and hard, it stroked shallow and slow at first. As the pace of his flicking against my clit hastened, so too did the pace and depth of the finger fucking me.
Ivan drove me crazy with his sensual assault. My lower belly burned and my thighs clenched and released. Curling my toes tightly against the desktop, I let my hand fall to his head and stroked his scalp as he ate me like a starving man. Never before had I gotten this close this fast. There was just something about Ivan that ignited my lust like no other.
"Please," I begged and scratched my nails against his scalp. "Please, Ivan."
He hummed against my clit and attacked the little bud with such fervor that I nearly passed out from sheer bliss. A flitting sensation of panic invaded my core. A split-second later, I came hard. His tongue lashed my pussy. Muscles tense and nipples pulsing, I rode the waves of ecstasy. "Ivan! Ivan! Ah!"
As my climax faded, Ivan's tongue stabbed into my wet pussy. I clapped a hand over my mouth to muffle a shriek. His fingers bit into the supple flesh of my inner thighs as he feasted on my pussy. While his tongue plunged into me again and again, he strummed my clit with his thumb. Bliss coiled low and tight in my belly until, finally, the tension snapped and I came a second time. Head thrown back, I moaned against my palm and tried not to screech with sheer delight.
Just when I thought I might pass out, Ivan showed mercy. He gently wiped his mouth on my inner thigh and kissed my mound. A moment later, he shocked me by pulling me off the desk and right onto his lap. I stifled a gasp and stiffened at the sudden burn of his body heat as my breasts touched his chest.
"Easy," he urged gently, his lips so close to my ear. "I've got you."
Oh yes he did. There was just enough space in the roomy office chair for my knees to fit on either side of his thighs. "Ivan…"
When he kissed me this time, I could taste myself on him. The heady, intimate experience left me dizzy. My pussy ached to be filled by him. I gripped his strong shoulders. "I need you, Ivan. I need you inside me."
"We can't," he said with a growl. "I don't have any condoms."
The insertion of reality jarred me. Still, I wasn't about to let this perfect moment pass. "I'm on the pill."
He chuckled. "Don't tempt me, Erin."
I wiggled my naked ass and reached between our bodies to grasp his erection through the tented fabric of his pants. Smiling, I reminded him, "That's the whole point, Ivan."
With a strangled groan of reluctance, Ivan grabbed my hand. "I won't risk it. I'm clean, of course, but that's not the big issue."
Even through the dense haze of lust clouding my judgment I understood what he meant. We hardly knew one another. One moment of passion could lead to a lifetime as parents. That was a step we definitely weren't ready to take.
"Then let me touch you." I brushed my knuckles over his erection. "Let me make you feel good."
"You already make me feel good," he assured me. I detected the barest hint of frustration in his voice, almost as if he didn't want me to have that power over him. Even so, he reached down and unbuttoned his pants. I pushed his hands out of the way and lowered the zipper. The bulge in his black boxer briefs drew my attention.
"Oh my god," I whispered in awe. "You're huge."
Ivan laughed. "You don't have to flatter me, Erin. I've already opened my pants to you."
"I wasn't flattering you." My gaze fell to his lap. As if unwrapping a package on Christmas morning, I slowly peeled down the front of his boxer briefs. His massive cock sprang free. Long and thick, it throbbed beneath my fingertips. Shiny droplets of pre-cum oozed from the tip. I gathered them with my thumb and brought the slick wetness to my tongue. Ivan's nostrils flared as I licked his seed from my skin. "Delicious."
"Are you always such a dirty girl?" he wondered softly.
I shook my head and brushed my lips against his. "Only for you, Ivan."
As our tongues dueled, I reached down and grasped him with both hands. I stroked him at a leisurely pace. There was no reason to rush. His velvety skin covered such steely heat. Holding his big cock in my hands, I had to wonder if I could take him when the time came. None of my boyfriends had ever com
e close to this. What would it feel like? Amazing, no doubt.
Ivan's heavy breaths buffeted my cheek. His hand moved between my open thighs. He caressed my slit, rubbing his fingertips over my clit before plunging two fingers deep inside my pussy. I gasped against his mouth.
Eye to eye, we didn't say one word. Hearts racing, we communicated with staccato breaths and shallow pants. My fingers tightened around his rigid shaft. His curved inside my slick channel. Gyrating on his lap, I rode his fingers. He lifted his hips to meet the downward strokes of my hands. His lips danced across my collarbone and drifted toward my breast. When his thumb moved to the side of my clit, the pressure was just enough to send me hurtling over the edge into the abyss of ecstasy.
Ivan buried his face against my neck as I came and grunted my name. "Erin!"
A split-second later, I felt the first hot splash of semen on my belly. We clutched and jerked in the chair as we shuddered in the grips of our shared climax. I stroked him until he trembled and the last bit of cum had been milked from his cock. Forehead to forehead, we panted and held onto one another.
In that moment, nothing outside the walls of his office existed. There was no Ruby, no Andrei, no Albanian mob or Hermanos street gang. It was just the two of us—and it was perfect.
Ivan caressed my cheek. "Erin, I—"
The shrill ring of a phone interrupted him. Frowning in annoyance, he reached for the cell phone rattling across his desk. He answered gruffly in Russian. I spotted the instant change in his demeanor. Whatever was being said wasn't good. My gut clenched and I waited to hear the worst.