Read Izzy & Eliza...an alien tale Page 3


  ~~YARN TELLS ALL~~

  Ha! So you see our boy Izzian has already learned something and we've only just begun. You've got to admit, that Mrs. Kleevox certainly is wise for a teacher, and crafty. I remember having had such a teacher once upon a time, centuries ago.

  I attended equidistant school on the rocky landscape of the Lagrinia System. Cold, windy place such as it was. I, like Izzian, was considered a trouble maker back then. Still am. But one teacher told me to just let go and be free from all the expectations I had placed upon myself. It took a while, but I'll never forget…wait, what was I trying to remember?

  In any case, Izzian Klowosky had misgivings about studying a female earthling for his Goodwill Project. Mrs. Kleevox conveyed the same message to her student that earth children learn in kindergarten: You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.

  Izzian will now slowly transform to human shape before his voyage to earth's universe. Young kids today should appreciate the advancements in the field of transformation and shape shifting. Back in my day, shape shifting was a quicker process, but extremely painful.

  Now, scientists have made the procedure as simple as sitting in the dentist's chair. The person preparing for transformation receives an injection and he or she slowly changes. It won't be painful, just odd. Imagine going to sleep with your own body only to awaken with the giant beak of a Beaky Buzzard, or the sixteen inch knee cap of a Firithian. It takes some time to adjust.

  Another odd ritual Izzian must endure involves a plascreen insertion. Before departure, Izzian will have his plascreen inserted behind his eyes, as antiquated and uncomfortable as that sounds. Even so, it's Klesian tradition.

  To prepare for his trip he must also visually watch his subject for the assignment, Eliza Allready. The best way to spy on an earthling from Klesia Moon Prime is by using the Al203 Telescope. Seems rather primitive to me, but that's the best they have.

  The Al203 Telescope is a clunky thing, and with it, Klesians can see earth, but earth cannot see Klesia. It's simply a large-scale telescope made up of a ton of crystals, diamonds, a whole lotta mirrors, and several hundred thousand tons of aluminum foil.

  In my studies, I've seen earthlings wear aluminum foil hats as protection against aliens invading their brains. That's absurd. Ironic, don't you think, that aluminum foil allows aliens to spy on earthlings, rather than protect the human brain from invasion? Not paramount to our story but an interesting tidbit, nonetheless.

  Think of the Al203 as the biggest batch of concentrated bling in the universe. If it's reflective and shiny, it's probably thrown into the Al203. There are twin telescopes strategically placed around the universe, too. It is thought that if the huge lenses of two telescopes were to accidentally look directly at each other, an unspeakable catastrophic event would transpire.

  Scientific opinions differ on that subject. Some believe the catastrophic event would mean the end of civilization on the planets; others think the reflective nature of the lenses would only cause a small ice storm. An entire group of Klesians believe it could never happen in the first place, and skip over any news relating to the telescopes, leaving the apocalyptic theories to the professional lunatics.

  Anyway, with Klesia's big bad tin foil telescope, all of the kids have "watch time" to study the subject of their Goodwill Project from afar, months before leaving Klesia Moon Prime.

  It may seem crass and uncouth, but Izzian was doing right by his teachers when he spied on Eliza Allready. Seeing as this is a story about an adventure, I doubt that anything goes as smoothly as all that. As a matter of fact, I have a feeling that something as simple as finding a tiny human target and spying through endless space with a dangerously crude aluminum foil blinged-out telescope is about to get way more complicated than it need be. TTYL.

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  CHAPTER 2