nude category.
About twenty photos were taken of our barmaid in various semi-nude poses. Jack did an excellent job, and we gave the girl a full set of these photos for her own use, to keep or to use as she saw fit.
The pageant went off well, the winners were ecstatic about their prizes and the losers had a good time anyway, a lot of young farmers were very willing indeed to be seen with a beauty pageant contestant on his arm, and spend on food, drinks and gifts, regardless of how she did.
A few months later Jack came storming into my office, as white as a freshly laundered sheet. “We are in trouble, deep in trouble! We are being charged for pornography, and that’s not all. We are being charged with corrupting a minor!”
I also went into shock; I couldn’t recall that we ever did such vile things, not even when inebriated. I phoned the police commander to get the facts.
What had apparently happened was that our barmaid had run away from home. She and her mother did not see eye to eye, and she found this job at the bar which also offered free accommodation in the hotel. The owner of the bar never checked her background, being too happy to find a sexy girl prepared to serve drunken oafs.
After searching for a while her mother traced her to the bar, and thus the hotel. Without announcing her arrival, the mother waited until her daughter was on duty, climbed through the latter’s bedroom window and proceeded to search the room. She found our photos in the drawer of the bedside table, with Jack’s studio name printed on the back of each photo.
To the local police station she rushed, laying charges of pornography and the corruption of a minor. The barmaid turned out to be only 19 years old! The duty sergeant had no option but to open a docket. Due to previous drinking sessions together the “Sarge” considered Jack and me as friends, and had the decency to phone Jack with a warning of what was to come.
Jack got himself worked up into a state, what would his important father have to say? First he contemplated suicide, but that would be too painful. Then he considered running, but had no money to finance such a move. Getting a decent lawyer was also unaffordable. Jack settled down to a calm acceptance, a lifetime behind bars was the only future.
We were arrested and charged, bail set at an amount we could collect from our supporters, at the cost of showing the photographs in question.
In preparation for our trail I made a quick turn at the local bookshop and bought a few postcards openly displayed on the counter. I was ready to defend Jack and my reputations.
The prosecution’s case was short and sweet. The prosecutor presented as evidence our photos and the girl’s birth certificate. The idiot was very sure of himself.
Surprised at our decision to defend ourselves, the magistrate gave us a bit of leeway as far as court proceedings were concerned. He did frown when I called the mother as a hostile witness, but allowed it.
I asked her as to where her daughter lived. She had to admit that the errand girl stayed on her own in a hotel. Also she had to agree that the girl was employed as a barmaid, working in an environment where only those that had reached the age of 20 were allowed. The magistrate accepted my argument that no reasonable man will doubt that the person serving him in a bar is of age. So there was no reason for Jack and me to question the girl's age. The charge of corrupting a minor was thus dismissed.
The pornography charges were easier to handle, all I had to do was produce the postcards I had bought earlier from the bookshop. They were of nude black women dancing during the “Reed-dance” that takes place yearly in Zululand, a traditional feast in honour of their King. The magistrate agreed that the difference between black breasts and white breasts were only the colour of the skin. If the one can be bought across the counter at a bookshop. Why can’t the other be kept in a drawer?
We were also found ‘not guilty’ of pornography! The mother was severely reprimanded for not taking better care of her daughter. The photographs? The magistrate handed them back to the girl with these words: “Young lady, keep these. One day when you reach my age you will appreciate the beauty of your youth”.
After the court case Jack and I were persona-non-grata at the pub as the owner had some tricky questions to answer regarding the employment of an under-aged girl as barmaid.
We quickly located a drinking hole in another hotel a short distance away. This hotel was in a bit of a run-down condition, but the new owners, a Dutch couple with their son, were in the process of renovating it.
Drinking there was a bit of a lonesome affair, not many patrons were aware of the renewal that was in progress. Jack and I made the management an offer; we will promote the hotel at our expense. If we were successful and increased the patronage fivefold they will refund us, and pay a commission of 20% over and above our costs. This was agreed and we sprang to work.
Jack took photos of the renovated rooms, the new bars and the restaurant. Me being ‘Advertising Manager’ in the local paper, I could get advertising space at a reduced rate, so we ran a series of adverts in which Jack’s photos were prominent. The printers that did the newspaper also agreed to print a few hundred posters and a few thousand pamphlets at a reasonable price. These we distributed all over town, as well as in all nearby towns and villages.
I knew a country singer in a town not too far away whom I contacted. The singer, then still trying to make a name for himself, agreed, after some serious persuasion, to make an appearance in the hotel’s ladies bar three nights a week, at no charge, for two weeks. If his entertainment brought in the females, the males would follow and we would be up and away. If this strategy worked, we would negotiate a lucrative contract, with the hotel owners for our singer, who then would become the resident entertainer.
Everything fell into place, and within weeks the hotel became the most popular venue in the broader area, so much so that a bouncer was required. We had the answer for that as well, Poppy van Eck. In the first few weeks of being employed Poppy had to bash in a few heads, but his reputation soon spread and the hot heads learned that hidden inside the bulk was some real muscles too. Poppy’s job became easy and he soon started acting more as a maître-d than a bouncer.
With our success in promoting the hotel, Jack and I decided to take it a step further and offer a dinner dance in the hall of the town’s holiday resort. The newspaper and printers again came in handy, and we soon had a solid advertising campaign going. A local chemist agreed to pay for the printing of the tickets, provided he can have an advert for 'Hangover medicine' printed on the reverse.
The dinner was to be served by the hotel, owned by our new found friends, with us paying for it with some of the money we made from ticket sales. It was also agreed that the hotel would run the bar, with us being paid 25% of all profit made.
For music we contracted a number of fairly well known musicians, wanting to offer a sort of pop concert to go with our dinner-dance.
Our arrangements and planning went well, until the Religious interfered. They objected to us offering such a sinful event as a dance in their town. Such an occurrence is an open invitation for people to commit adultery, copulate and serve the god Bacchus. Many a harsh word was spoken in some serious arguments, getting very close to court action.
After discussing the situation with Jack, I offered to pay out of my pocket for the rental of the city hall on behalf of the preachers, provided that they put up some entertainment there on the same night as our dance, be it a prayer meeting, be it a sermon, be it a bazaar, be it a Bingo evening or be it a strip show. Thus we will give the citizenry an opportunity to make use of free choice. This offer was turned down and we made it clear to the clergy to either put up or shut up. The newspaper came in very handy in this dispute, informing the readers of the dictatorial attitude of their pastoral leaders. Matters calmed down and the criticism of our dance was restricted to Sunday sermons.
While we were disputing our right to arrange the dance, ticket sales were happening very slowly. On the Saturday morning of the dance we had sold only a total of 27 ticket
s from all our sales locations, various shops and pubs.
To announce the dance once again to the inhabitants of the town we got hold of a car fitted with a public address system, and started driving around town making an incredible noise. Again the Believers interfered and objected, this time calling on their friends in the town council to stop us on the grounds of not having permission to advertise by motorized means. We stopped our driving around.
Country folk are a strange breed. They don’t seem to believe in booking for events in advance. The evening of the dance people showed up in their hordes, so much so that we urgently had to find more tables and chairs, and the caterers had to cut the portions the were planning to serve dramatically to make sure everybody got something to eat.
Poppy, our bouncer, had his hands full, turning people away once the hall was overfull.
Our dance was a roaring success, and went off well, except for one incident that took place at around 11 o’clock. About twenty young semi-naked women suddenly stormed into the hall, creating havoc.
The under-the-weather males left their wives standing while charging the gate-crashers for a closer look and in many cases a quick feel. Fortunately the singer performing at that moment was a tea-total and realized that the situation