I turned on the bench seat to face him, fuming. “Do not fucking speak to her. Eyes on me.”
His head jerked at my tone. So did Erin’s, but I didn’t care. This game with him was old and tiring.
“Careful, Trent.”
Are you serious? Brushing your hand over your service weapon—here? “Or what, Castoll?” I tugged my badge off my belt and slapped it on the tabletop. “I’ve got one of them too, remember? You want to see my Glock?”
Castoll scoffed. “Surprised they even let you carry. What you’ve been doing is a joke, Trent. An embarrassment to the shield. You might as well be a whore—”
Fucker shrank a bit when I surged to my feet and got in his face. “I think it’s best if you move on now. I’m about to lose my temper if you keep talking and we both know who will win if we throw it down.”
Even though I was locked in a stare-down I still saw Erin move. Please don’t get in the middle of this, baby.
“What’s going on here, boys?” Kathy wedged her way in between us, grabbing a dirty plate off the table.
Castoll stepped back. “Just letting Trent here know some things, that’s all.”
She glared up at him. “Well I think you’ve made your point. Your order’s ready. How about you quit making a scene and get back to doing whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing.”
He stepped back and tipped his head at Erin. “Miss.”
“Officer Casshole,” she returned with a grin.
I stood there fuming, making sure he left before I sat back down. Desire to put his head through the wall had me clenching and unclenching my fists.
“Hey, are you okay?” She reached back across the table for me but I just stared at her proffered hand until she withdrew. Fuck being consoled and to hell with the pain in my hand; I wanted to hit something. I knew withdrawing was a mistake, but I couldn’t help it.
“You want to tell me what all of that was about? Why’d he say stuff about me being your shrink?”
Yeah, we so aren’t going there. After what Nikki did, the choices she made without me. I swore then and there that I’d never get put back in that pain. And here I was, inviting that shit back in again with open arms.
This beautiful woman sitting across from me had the power to eviscerate my soul. I could feel it slipping away with every second I spent around her. Fun or not, that shit wasn’t happening to me twice in one lifetime. Fuck that.
Kathy interrupted me. “How’s everything? I see you’re finished. Can I get you anything else?”
I looked over at Erin, catching her hiding a yawn. She probably looks like a little kitten once she’s well sated and nestled in bed. Too bad I’d never get to see it. Erin shook her head.
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “We’re done. Take the check then, Kathy.”
As soon as Kathy walked away with our dirty plates Erin said, “Adam, I need to know something. What was up with the camera crew? I keep waiting for you to tell me, but it seems to be a topic you don’t want to discuss.”
I felt my jaw crack. “You’re right.”
I knew when a woman was incensed, and the one sitting across from me was well on her way.
“I suppose it’s for the same reasons that everyone in this place keeps looking at you. At first I thought it was because we live around here but they all keep gawking and whispering. That older woman over there has taken it one step further to pointing. I feel like everyone around me is in on some big secret and I’m apparently too lost to know what that is. So please, enlighten me. What’s the deal?”
I stared at the tabletop, seeing patterns in the veneer, while I rubbed my hand over my head. Another reason this was a bad idea. I so didn’t want to bring a woman into this shit.
“You a dirty cop?” she asked outright.
“What? No. No, I’m not a dirty cop.” How could she even think that? Once she finds out the truth though, I’m gonna be nothing but a novelty for her, just like the rest of the women that don’t see me for me. Or worse—she’d become a target for hate, just like Marcus’s wife. I’d be a selfish bastard to subject a woman I cared about to that. Girls were already camping on my front lawn. “Can we just not discuss it right now?”
“Why won’t you tell me?”
Something in me snapped. “Because I don’t want to. Can’t you just leave it the fuck alone?”
“Fine. You don’t want to tell me.” She fumbled through her purse and tossed a ten-dollar bill onto the table. “That ought to cover my meal. It’s been a long night and I need to get home.”
She started scooting out of the booth.
“Erin, wait.”
She leveled me with a glare. “I knew just looking at you that you’d turn from someone I used to like a lot into someone I used to know but I’m surprised it happened so quickly. Congrats, you’ve set a new record. Take care, Detective.”
Damn it!
“Wait a second,” I ordered, expecting her to halt but like hell on fire she kept going. I chucked money on the table, took back her ten, and snagged my leather jacket.
I managed to grab a hold of her arm as she was opening up the front door. “Would ya hold on a second? Damn it, woman.”
I spun her on her heels before she hit the door.
Her chin came up in defiance. “A few hours ago you said to me that you had no patience for games and here you are, playing games. I’ve got news for you, Detective, I’ve got no time or patience for games, either.”
I took a deep breath. She was right; she deserved the truth but I knew once it was out there, things would change. Doctor Erin Novak deserved better than to have her life threatened or her world disrupted by prying cameras, and I had no plans to let her surgically remove what was left of my heart. I let her arm go.
“Sorry Doc. You’re right. I, uh…” My mouth dried and a hollow burn started to fester in my chest. I wanted to run, to hit something, blow a few thousand rounds through my gun and annihilate the pain. She was standing there, that sexy mouth hanging slightly open, waiting on me to fix this disaster. “Let me give you a ride home.”
She turned a shoulder. “That’s okay. I can call someone or get a cab.”
“I’m not going to let you do that, Erin. Come on.”
Kara came rushing over, adding to my problems. “Adam? Baby, are you okay?”
“Baby?” Erin questioned. “Are you serious?”
Fuck.
“Yeah, and who are you?” Kara snipped.
I needed to get Erin out of here—FAST. Asking her to meet me here was quickly turning into a very bad idea.
“Who am I? Who are you?” Erin shot back.
“I’m his girlfriend,” Kara announced.
FUCK! “No, she’s not.”
“Girlfriend?” Erin was obviously shocked.
“Yes, girlfriend. Adam and I are dating,” Kara said, then turned to me. “You didn’t tell her about us, did you?”
My head was about to explode. “There is no us, Kara. All right? Never was, never will be, so get that straight in your head right now.”
Kara’s face fell. “Why are you saying that? We’ve been together for months. You going to deny we had sex, too?”
Erin turned and shoved her way through the door.
Kara was yelling my name, but I ignored her and followed Erin.
She started walking through the parking lot, marching that pretty little ass again in a hurry to get away from me. Just like last time, I wasn’t having any of it. I jogged to catch up and stepped in front of her, blocking her way. “I’m not letting you walk home or whatever the hell it is you think you’re going to do, so turn around.”
She defiantly crossed her arms as the bitter February wind tossed her hair around. Damn, I loved her fearlessness. Still… “Easy way or the hard way, but I’m driving you home.”
She glared and then tried to step around me. That’s when I snagged her by the arms, clipped her thighs and hoisted her up over my shoulder. I expected her to fi
ght it and she didn’t disappoint.
“Put me down,” she growled, kicking her legs a bit. “Your girlfriend in there will see us.”
“She’s not my girlfriend. Never was. I told you I’m not seeing anyone.”
Erin scoffed.
I used my good hand to swat her ass, making her twitch and yelp on my shoulder as I hauled her to my truck. “Call me a liar again.”
She gave me the death glare when I set her down next to the passenger door. “I can’t believe you just did that.”
“It’s freezing cold, we’ve both had a long night, and sometimes I’m an asshole.” I opened the door, motioning for her to climb in. “But I don’t care how mad you get at me, there is no way in hell I’m letting you out of my sight.”
The drive to her house was short and silent and I knew she was pissed. I didn’t need anyone to clue me in on how much I’d just let her down. I pulled into her driveway, right behind her car, which I noted was still missing a plate. I needed to fix that.
She grabbed the door handle and in that split second I knew she wasn’t even going to say goodbye.
“Erin, wait.”
She had one foot out of the door with her bag in hand, and I felt like my heart that had been out of the equation for so long was being twisted and sliced seeing her go.
As soon as I had her eyes, words came rushing out like a confession.
“Last year, my unit was approached to do a pilot for a reality TV show. Things took off and now every Sunday night at nine o’clock I’m on television. The show is called Car Jacked and that’s why I have a film crew following me when I’m on duty.”
Her mouth was slightly agape for a second before crashing back into a hard line. “But you’re really just a police officer, right?”
I’d hoped at least that much was obvious.
Those sexy blue eyes narrowed with unanswered disappointment. “Is that why half of the restaurant was staring at you?”
I nodded, rubbing my hand over my head, fighting back the animosity at being an unwanted center of attention. “Yeah, I suppose.”
“Was that so hard to admit?” She shook her head. “Why didn’t you just tell me? We could have avoided—”
“It’s…” Christ, what do I say? I peeled my eyes away from her obvious frustration, as if the windshield or the roof of her tiny red brick salt-box house were going to give me a brilliant answer. “It’s embarrassing. I hate it. It’s turned me into some sort of fucking novelty.” I glanced over at her, trying to read her, hoping she was getting what I was saying. “It takes away from what could be real… genuine.”
I watched her lips mash together, frowning at me; not the reaction I was hoping for. She took a few moments to mull it over, and then, as clear as a bell, I saw it dawn on her. “You think people only want the TV persona now, don’t you?”
Bingo. Smart and beautiful. I drew in a deep breath, praying that she’d understand. “It’s not who I am. And now some of the wives of our unit members are getting harassed because of it. The cameras, the unwanted attention… I just… I just don’t want to bring that on you.”
She sat there in silence while each beat of my heart counted her time processing all of it. Something inside me needed her to know just exactly what she was getting herself into if she allows me to take this further. We hadn’t even touched upon my perversions or any of my other issues and already I was shoving her off.
Erin turned in her seat, surprising me. I could see the hurt in her eyes and the unspoken accusations of me being a complete jackass. “How do I know if you don’t even give it a chance, because an hour ago, I thought that’s what we were doing with getting to know each other. Wasn’t it?”
She stumped me with that one. Did I want to get tangled up in another woman after the last one gutted me so easily? Would she be understanding and strong enough to keep me from falling backwards into my old, numbing habits?
“Guess I was wrong,” she muttered. I watched her gather her purse and backpack, knowing she was pissed. “Doesn’t matter. I suppose that other cop back there at the diner said it for you. And the little waitress you’re sleeping with. You apparently date a lot and I’m really not in the mood to get played, so I guess this is goodbye. Have a nice life, Detective.”
She jumped out of my truck so damn fast, I barely got the word, “Wait” out.
Without turning, she waved me off, dismissing me just like she had on the night that we had pulled her over.
Internal instinct was screaming at me, telling me to move my ass and go after her again, but my fucking legs and wounded pride refused to obey. I punched the steering wheel with the flat of my good palm as the frustration got the better of me. By the time I fully resolved that I should, in fact, go after her, it was too late. She’d already gotten through her front door and closed it, clearly shutting me out.
I sat there for a moment rubbing my scalp, thinking of ways to fix this clusterfuck of my life, but I was at a loss. One thing was for certain: it was hard to describe how deep this woman I barely knew affected me. It was like I felt her already in me. In my blood. In my thoughts. As if some invisible force tethered me to her somehow, making me ache from the emptiness she’d left behind.
I stared at her door and pondered the mess I’d made, wrestling with the urge to go knock on the damn thing or even go so far as to tear it down, remove it off the fucking hinges so nothing separated me from her. But I knew that none of my actions would be well-received.
I pressed the heel of my hand over my breastbone, hating that I allowed another woman get to me this way.
But it was too late. The injury I inflicted on her was clearly visible in the gloss of her eyes. Banging on her door now would only infuriate her more and make me seem out of control, and I just didn’t have it in me to fight. I put my truck in reverse and backed slowly out of her driveway. It was for the best, telling myself just to leave it alone, ’cause I sure as hell had no clue how to fix it.
GOD, I HOPE there isn’t a dead body in the trunk, was the first thought that passed through my mind when the red and blue lights started flashing in my rearview mirror.
Sarah had been chauffeuring me back and forth to work for the last couple of days, but by the end of our shift Thursday morning, my convenient ride had come to an end. Sarah had the next two nights off, leaving me without a way to get to work for my shift tonight.
Instead of sleeping after she’d dropped me off, I spent the last two hours studying while waiting for the notary office to open. My eyes, like the rest of my body, were tired and feeling blurry, but there was no mistaking the distinct siren and flashing lights ordering me to pull over.
“No. Not again,” I whined out loud, squeezing the steering wheel. I knew better. Adam had warned me and yet here I was, driving without a plate on.
I pulled over to the first available spot of curb.
The police car pulled up right behind me.
Shit. It’s not like I was doing ninety down the road.
Adrenaline was coursing thick through my bloodstream and I felt lightheaded. I knew I should stay calm, after all it was just a traffic stop, but getting caught made it worse. With my luck right now, he’d make me open the trunk only to find that someone did shove a dead body in there.
Why did a traffic citation feel like the onset of being hauled off to prison? On the bright side, at least six other steal-plated trucks didn’t join in on the fun this time.
I rolled my window down.
“License and registration,” the officer ordered. I was slightly surprised, considering this policeman had quite a paunch going on.
As soon as I looked up at him, noting the unsightly brown birthmark on his cheek and moustache that reminded me of a walrus’s tusks, it registered that this was someone I’d already crossed paths with.
“Yes, sir,” I responded, being as compliant as possible.
“Well, well, look who it is,” he drawled. There was no denying that he recognized me from the diner where
I had had breakfast with Adam. Just being this close to him creeped me out. It took him a few seconds to drift his beady eyes from my face to my boobs.
In my haste to avoid his unwanted leering, I grabbed the bottom of my purse, the contents of which immediately rained down all over my lap.
My wallet made a thud when it hit the floor. I bent to reach it and cracked my forehead on the steering wheel.
And that was it. The final straw. Haul me off to prison because I’m about to lose my precious hold on sanity.
“Is there a problem?” the impatient Officer Castoll groaned.
I rolled my planted face over the steering wheel to look at him.
The intimidating officer leaned closer to my window. “Have you been drinking, Miss?”
His partner came around to the other side of my car. I could see out of the corner of my eye that his hand was resting on his weapon.
That snapped me to attention. “No, officer. Never.” And certainly not in hospital scrubs at nine in the morning. I left out the part, and you’re going to add points to my driving record, which means that I will mostly likely have my license suspended and I will not have a way to get back and forth to the hospital job that I’m going to lose once the videos hit.
After the night I just had discussing removing Uncle Cal from life support and my nervous babble to the creepy cop, I couldn’t stop the shakes. I’d finally succumbed to the stress.
My car door opened. “Step out of the car, please.”
What? “Why?” I didn’t care for the fact that his hand was hovering over his gun now.
“I said step out of the car, Miss.”
I groaned and dropped my empty leather purse onto the passenger seat while the rest of my things rolled under my seat.
Officer Asshole walked me to the front of my car. “Hands on the hood.”
“Wait. What?”
“Do not question me. Hands on the hood—now.”
Jesus, what have I done? Is there a dead body in the trunk of my car? I was only kidding, although whenever I saw that in a movie, I never turned out so well for the driver.