CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN.
A CHAPTER OF LOSSES TO ALL BUT THE READER, THOUGH AT FIRST TOM WORKSWITH HIS WIT, AND RECEIVES THE FULL VALUE OF HIS EXERTIONS--WE MAKE THEVERY WORST BARGAIN WE EVER MADE IN OUR LIVES--WE LOSE OUR FARE, WE LOSEOUR BOAT, AND WE LOSE OUR LIBERTY--ALL LOSS AND NO PROFIT--FAIR VERYUNFAIR--TWO GUINEAS WORTH OF ARGUMENT NOT WORTH TWOPENCE, EXCEPT ON THEQUARTER-DECK OF A MAN-OF-WAR.
"Jacob," said Tom to me, pulling his wherry into the _hard_, alongsideof mine, in which I was sitting with one of Mr Turnbull's books in myhand; "Jacob, do you recollect that my time is up to-morrow? I shallhave run off my seven years, and when the sun rises I shall be free ofthe river. How much more have you to serve?"
"About fifteen months, as near as I can recollect, Tom.--Boat, sir?"
"Yes; oars, my lad; be smart, for I am in a hurry. How's tide?"
"Down, sir, very soon; but it's now slack water. Tom, see if you canfind Stapleton."
"Pooh! never mind him, Jacob, I'll go with you. I say, Jones, tell old`_human natur'_' to look after my boat," continued Tom, addressing awaterman of our acquaintance.
"I thought you had come up to see _her_," said I to Tom, as we shovedoff.
"See _her_ at Jericho first," replied Tom "she's worse than a dog vane."
"What, are you _two_ again?"
"Two indeed--it's all two--we are two fools. She is too fanciful; I amtoo fond; she behaves too ill, and I put up with too much. However,it's all _one_."
"I thought it was all _two_ just now, Tom."
"But two may be made one, Jacob, you know."
"Yes, by the parson: but you are no parson."
"Anyhow, I am something like one just now," replied Tom, who was pullingthe foremost oar; "for you are a good clerk, and I am sitting behindyou."
"That's not so bad," observed the gentleman in the stern-sheets, whom wehad forgotten in the colloquy.
"A waterman would make but a bad parson, sir," replied Tom.
"Why so?"
"He's not likely to practice as he preaches."
"Again, why so?"
"Because all his life he looks one way and pulls another."
"Very good--very good, indeed."
"Nay, sir, good in practice, but still not good _in deed_--there's apuzzle."
"A puzzle, indeed, to find such a regular chain of repartee in awherry."
"Well, sir, if I'm a regular chain to-day, I shall be like an irregularwatch to-morrow."
"Why so, my lad?"
"Because I shall be _out of my time_."
"Take that, my lad," said the gentleman, tossing half-a-crown to Tom.
"Thanky, sir; when we meet again may you have no more wit than you havenow."
"How do you mean?"
"Not wit enough to keep your money, sir--that's all!"
"I presume you think that I have not got much."
"Which, sir; wit or money?"
"Wit, my lad."
"Nay, sir, I think you have both: the first you purchased just now; andyou would hardly have bought it, if you had not money to spare."
"But I mean wit of my own."
"No man has wit of his own; if he borrows it, it's not his own; if hehas it in himself, it's _mother_ wit, so it's not his."
We pulled into the stairs near London Bridge, and the gentleman paid mehis fare. "Good-bye, my lad," said he to Tom.
"Fare-you-well, for well you've paid your fare," replied Tom, holdingout his arm to assist him out of the boat. "Well, Jacob, I've made moreby my head than by my hands this morning. I wonder, in the long run,which gains most in the world."
"Head, Tom, depend upon it; but they work best together."
Here we were interrupted--"I say, you watermen, have you a mind for agood fare?" cried a dark-looking, not over clean, square-built, shortyoung man, standing on the top of the flight of steps.
"Where to, sir?"
"Gravesend, my jokers, if you ain't afraid of salt water."
"That's a long way, sir," replied Tom; "and for salt water, we must havesalt to our porridge."
"So you shall, my lads, and a glass of grog into the bargain."
"Yes; but the bargain a'n't made yet, sir. Jacob, will you go?"
"Yes, but not under a guinea."
"Not under two guineas," replied Tom, aside. "Are you in a great hurry,sir?" continued he, addressing the young man.
"Yes, in a devil of a hurry; I shall lose my ship. What will you takeme for?"
"Two guineas, sir."
"Very well. Just come up to the public-house here, and put in mytraps."
We brought down his luggage, put it into the wherry, and started downthe river with the tide. Our fare was very communicative, and we foundout that he was the master's mate of the _Immortalite_, forty-gunfrigate, lying off Gravesend, which was to drop down next morning andwait for sailing orders at the Downs. We carried the tide with us, andin the afternoon were close to the frigate, whose blue ensign wavedproudly over the taffrail. There was a considerable sea arising fromthe wind meeting the tide, and before we arrived close to her we hadshipped a great deal of water; and when we were alongside, the wherry,with the chest in her bows, pitched so heavily that we were afraid ofbeing swamped. Just as a rope had been made fast to the chest, and theywere weighing it out of the wherry, the ship's launch with water camealongside, and, whether from accident or wilfully, I know not, althoughI suspect the latter, the midshipman who steered her shot her againstthe wherry, which was crushed in, and immediately filled, leaving Tomand me in the water, and in danger of being jammed to death between thelaunch and the side of the frigate. The seamen in the boat, however,forced her off with their oars, and hauled us in, while our wherry sankwith her gunwale even with the water's edge, and floated away astern.
As soon as we had shaken ourselves a little, we went up the side, andasked one of the officers to send a boat to pick up our wherry.
"Speak to the first lieutenant--there he is," was the reply.
I went up to the person pointed out to me; "If you please, sir--"
"What the devil do you want?"
"A boat, sir, to--"
"A boat! the devil you do!"
"To pick up our wherry, sir," interrupted Tom.
"Pick it up yourself," said the first lieutenant, passing us, andhailing the men aloft. "Maintop, there, hook on your stays. Be smart.Lower away the yards. Marines and after-guard, clear launch.Boatswain's mate."
"Here, sir."
"Pipe marines and after-guard to clear launch."
"Aye, aye, sir."
"But we shall lose our boat, Jacob," said Tom to me. "They stove it in,and they ought to pick it up." Tom then went up to the master's mate,which he had brought on board, and explained our difficulty.
"Upon my soul, I dar'n't say a word. I'm in a scrape for breaking myleave. Why the devil didn't you take care of your wherry, and haula-head when you saw the launch coming?"
"How could we, when the chest was hoisting out?"
"Very true. Well, I am very sorry for you, but I must look after mychest." So saying, he disappeared down the gangway ladder.
"I'll try it again, anyhow," said Tom, going up to the first lieutenant."Hard case to lose our boat and our bread, sir," said Tom touching hishat.
The first lieutenant, now that the marines and after-guard were at aregular stamp and go, had, unfortunately more leisure to attend to us.He looked at us earnestly, and walked aft to see if the wherry was yetin sight. At that moment up came the master's mate, who had not yetreported himself to the first lieutenant.
"Tom," said I, "there is a wherry close to, let us get into it, and goafter our boat ourselves."
"Wait one moment to see if they will help us--and get our money, at allevents," replied Tom; and we both walked aft.
"Come on board, sir," said the master's mate, touching his hat withhumility.
"You've broke your leave, sir," replied the first lieutenant, "and nowI've to send a boat to pick up the wherry through you
r carelessness."
"If you please, they are two very fine young men," observed the mate."Make capital foretopmen. Boat's not worth sending for, sir."
This hint, given by the mate to the first lieutenant, to regain hisfavour, was not lost. "Who are you, my lads?" said the first lieutenantto us.
"Watermen, sir."
"Watermen, heh? was that your own boat?"
"No, sir," replied I; "it belongs to the man that I serve with."
"Oh, not your own boat? Are you an apprentice, then?"
"Yes, sir, both apprentices."
"Show me your indentures."
"We don't carry them about with us."
"Then how am I to know that you are apprentices?"
"We can prove it, sir, if you wish it."
"I do wish it; at all events, the captain will wish it."
"Will you please to send for the boat, sir? she's almost out of sight."
"No, my lads, I can't find king's boats for such service."
"Then we had better go ourselves, Tom," said I, and we went forward tocall the waterman, who was lying on his oars close to the frigate.
"Stop--stop--not so fast. Where are you going, my lads?"
"To pick up our boat, sir."
"Without my leave, heh?"
"We don't belong to the frigate, sir."
"No; but I think it very likely that you will, for you have noprotections."
"We can send for them, and have them down by to-morrow morning."
"Well, you may do so if you please, my lads; but you can not expect meto believe everything that is told me. Now, for instance, how long haveyou to serve, my lad?" said he, addressing Tom.
"My time is up to-morrow, sir."
"Up to-morrow. Why, then, I shall detain you until tomorrow, and then Ishall press you."
"If you detain me now, sir, I am pressed to-day."
"Oh, no! you are only detained until you prove your apprenticeship,that's all."
"Nay, sir, I certainly am pressed during my apprenticeship."
"Not at all, and I'll prove it to you. You don't belong to the shipuntil you are victualled on her books. Now I sha'n't _victual_ youto-day, and therefore you won't be _pressed_."
"I shall be pressed with hunger at all events," replied Tom, who nevercould lose a joke.
"No you sha'n't; for I'll send you both a good dinner out of thegun-room. So you won't be pressed at all," replied the lieutenant,laughing at Tom's reply.
"You will allow me to go, sir, at all events," replied I; for I knewthat the only chance of getting Tom and myself clear was my hastening toMr Drummond for assistance.
"Pooh! nonsense; you must both row in the same boat as you have done.The fact is, my lads, I've taken a great fancy to you both, and I can'tmake up my mind to part with you."
"It's hard to lose our bread this way," replied I.
"We will find you bread, and hard enough you will find it," replied thelieutenant, laughing; "it's like a flint."
"So we ask for bread, and you give us a stone," said Tom; "that's'gainst Scripture."
"Very true, my lad; but the fact is, all the scriptures in the worldwon't man the frigate. Men we must have, and get them how we can, andwhere we can, and when we can. Necessity has no law; at least itobliges us to break through all laws. After all, there's no greathardship in serving the king for a year or two, and filling your pocketswith prize-money. Suppose you volunteer?"
"Will you allow us to go on shore for half-an-hour to think about it?"replied I.
"No. I'm afraid of the crimps dissuading you. But I'll give you tillto-morrow morning, and then I shall be sure of one at all events."
"Thanky for me," replied Tom.
"You're very welcome," replied the first lieutenant, as, laughing at us,he went down the companion-ladder to his dinner.
"Well, Jacob, we are in for it," said Tom, as soon as we were alone."Depend upon it there's no mistake this time."
"I am afraid not," replied I, "unless we can get a letter to yourfather, or Mr Drummond, who, I am sure, would help us. But that dirtyfellow, who gave the lieutenant the hint, said the frigate sailedto-morrow morning; there he is, let us speak to him."
"When does the frigate sail!" said Tom to the master's mate, who waswalking the deck.
"My good fellow, it's not the custom on board of a man-of-war for men toask officers to answer such impertinent questions. It's quitesufficient for you to know that when the frigate sails you will have thepleasure of sailing in her."
"Well, sir," replied I, nettled at his answer, "at all events you willhave the goodness to pay us our fare. We have lost our wherry, and ourliberty, perhaps, through you; we may as well have our two guineas."
"Two guineas! It's two guineas you want, heh."
"Yes, sir, that was the fare we agreed upon."
"Why you must observe, my men," said the master's mate, hooking a thumbinto each armhole of his waistcoat, "there must be a little explanationas to that affair. I promised you two guineas as watermen; but now thatyou belong to a man-of-war, you are no longer watermen. I always pay mydebts honourably when I can find the lawful creditors; but where are thewatermen?"
"Here we are sir."
"No, my lads, you are men-of-war's men now, and that quite alters thecase."
"But we are not so yet, sir; even if it did alter the case, we are notpressed yet."
"Well, then, you'll be to-morrow, perhaps; at all events we shall see.If you are allowed to go on shore again, I owe you two guineas aswatermen; and if you are detained as men-of-war's men, why then you willonly have done your duty in pulling down one of your officers. You see,my lads, I say nothing but what's fair."
"Well, sir, but when you hired us we were watermen," replied Tom.
"Very true, so you were; but recollect the two guineas were not dueuntil you had completed your task, which was not until you came onboard. When you came on board you were pressed, and became men-of-war'smen. You should have asked for your fare before the first lieutenantgot hold of you. Don't you perceive the justice of my remarks?"
"Can't say I do, sir; but I perceive there's very little chance of ourbeing paid," said Tom.
"You are a lad of discrimination," replied the master's mate. "And nowI advise you to drop the subject, or you may induce me to pay you`man-of-war fashion.'"
"How's that, sir?"
"Over the face and eyes, as the cat paid the monkey," replied themaster's mate, walking leisurely away.
"No go, Tom," said I, smiling at the absurdity of the arguments.
"I'm afraid it's _no go_ in every way, Jacob. However, I don't caremuch about it. I have had a little hankering after seeing the world,and perhaps now's as well as an other time; but I'm sorry for you,Jacob."
"It's all my own fault," replied I; and I fell into one of thosereveries so often indulged in of late, as to the folly of my conduct inasserting my independence, which had now ended in my losing my liberty.But we were cold from the ducking we had received, and moreover, veryhungry. The first lieutenant did not forget his promise: he sent us agood dinner, and a glass of grog each, which we discussed under thehalf-deck, between two of the guns. We had some money in our pockets,and we purchased some sheets of paper from the bum-boat people, who wereon the main-deck supplying the seamen, and I wrote to Mr Drummond andMr Turnbull, as well as to Mary and old Tom, requesting the two latterto forward our clothes to Deal, in case of our being detained. Tom alsowrote to comfort his mother, and the greatest comfort which he couldgive was, as he said, to promise to keep sober. Having entrusted theseletters to the bumboat woman, who promised faithfully to put them intothe post-office, we had then nothing else to do but to look out for someplace to sleep. Our clothes had dried on us, and we were walking underthe half-deck: but not a soul spoke to, or even took the least notice ofus. In a newly-manned ship just ready to sail there is a universalfeeling of selfishness prevailing among the ship's company. Some, ifnot most, had, like us, been pressed, and their t
houghts were occupiedwith their situation and the change in their prospects. Others werebusy making their little arrangements with their wives or relations;while the mass of the seamen, not yet organised by discipline or knownto each other, were in a state of disunion and individuality, whichnaturally induced every man to look after himself without caring for hisneighbour. We therefore could not expect, nor did we receive, anysympathy; we were in a scene of bustle and noise, yet alone. A sparetopsail, which had been stowed for the present between two of the guns,was the best accommodation which offered itself. We took possession ofit, and, tired with exertion of mind and body, were soon fast asleep.