“Mine.”
Kennedy bobbed her head. “He went down on you first. I like his style.”
“Excuse me?”
“Most men only reciprocate oral sex. They want you to blow them before they’ll eat you out.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I seriously hate that term.”
“What would you prefer I call it? Carpet munching? A c-swizzle? Eating the peach?”
Ellie slowly shook her head back and forth. “I seriously can’t believe I just heard those terms come out of your mouth.”
“It doesn’t surprise me at all,” I said as I reached for the tequila bottle.
Kennedy moved it away from me. “Easy there, Tex. Don’t you have to pick up Linc at Dad’s?”
I groaned. “Yes, dammit. I do.” It was one of those moments when I really loved my son, but I also really wanted to get shit-faced with my sisters while sharing my jumbled feelings about Gabe.
“Then no more tequila.” She jerked her chin at me. “Hurry up and spill it before you have to go.”
With a sigh, I proceeded to tell the girls how Gabe’s and my baking had turned into a smoking hot sexcapade that led to me letting the brownies burn, and in turn, how said sexcapade along with Gabe’s care and concern led me to emotionally shut down and throw him out of the house.
When I finished, I’d managed to render both my sisters momentarily speechless, which was a feat in itself. Covering my face with my hands, I moaned. “Great, you guys think I’m just as psycho as Gabe probably does.”
“No, we don’t,” Ellie protested.
“I think she’s a little psycho,” Kennedy replied. Then she grinned at me. “But I get where you were coming from. I mean, the fact that I had an affair with a married French man would be evidence of that.”
“How am I ever going to face him again?” I pondered.
“By communicating to him what you’ve just told us,” Ellie said sensibly.
I threw up my hands in frustration. “But I don’t know how.”
“Of course you do.”
“I think the fact that I’m twenty-six and still single would say differently. I’m just no good when it comes to men.”
“Just tell him you’re sorry for freaking out on him. You just panicked because things were moving too fast,” Ellie suggested.
“Then what? Ask him if we can go back to the way things were before he saw me naked and went down on me?”
Kennedy gave me an exasperated look. “Why on earth would you want things to go back to the way they were? You yourself said the man was a hell of a kisser, not to mention was he extremely talented at licking pussy.”
“While I’m not sure I would have actually ever said the term ‘licking pussy’, yes, he was extremely good at it—like the best I’ve ever had.”
“Then why go back to not being physical?”
“Because he has a job to do.” At Kennedy’s wicked expression, I said, “And it’s not to be my official pussy licker.”
“Ha, you said it.”
“Whatever.”
Ellie tilted her head thoughtfully at me. “Are you afraid if you guys keep going, Gabe might lose his songwriting ability again?”
“Something like that. I mean, things were rolling along perfectly well the way we were. He doesn’t need anything to complicate it, and we all know how much sex complicates everything.”
While Ellie nodded, Kennedy said, “But maybe what he needs now is some heat. Just because you guys start messing around, that doesn’t mean he’s suddenly going to be unable to write.”
“I just don’t want to rock the boat.”
“I’m pretty sure from what transpired here this evening, Gabe would be more than happy to rock your boat,” Kennedy mused.
“While somewhat misguided, I think Kennedy does have a point. You don’t know how Gabe is feeling about all this, which is why you have to talk to him.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll call him in the morning. Hopefully he hasn’t packed up and run back to Atlanta because his muse went crazy.”
“I seriously doubt that,” Ellie replied.
“What time is the bake sale?” Kennedy asked.
“Noon.”
Kennedy nodded. “I can throw something together by then.”
“You can?”
“While it’ll be a complete, pain-in-the-ass inconvenience, of course I can. You know I’d do anything for that kid.” She smiled at me. “And for you, Rae. I always have your back. You know that.”
I fought the tears that pricked my eyes. “Thanks, Ken. That means a lot.”
“Now go on and get our boy.”
“But the kitchen—”
“We’ll clean it up while you’re gone.”
“I can’t let you guys do that.”
Ellie smiled. “We’re family, silly. We always help each other out.”
“Even if the other was practically fornicating on the kitchen counter?” I asked.
Kennedy snorted. “You sound just like Aunt Sadie, who, truth be told, probably has completely fornicated on that counter.”
“Ew,” Ellie and I shrieked. While I was aware of Aunt Sadie’s sexual past, I certainly didn’t want to think of her doing it, least of all in the same place where I had.
After grabbing my purse and keys, I said, “On that note, I’m out of here.”
* * *
When my alarm went off the following morning, I fought the urge to pulverize my phone. While I might’ve had only one shot of tequila with the girls, I’d snuck the bottle into my room after I got home from picking up Linc. I’m not sure what it says about my state of mind that I wanted to drink on my own. It was actually pretty pathetic, now that I thought about it.
Three shots later, I’d stumbled over to my bed, and I must’ve passed out because I was still in my clothes.
“Fuck me,” I grumbled as I pried myself off of the mattress.
Although I’d left Gabe with no reason to possibly text me, I still checked my phone to see if he had. Nope. Nada. Nothin’. Since I’d promised my sisters I would call him, I took a deep breath before texting, Hey. I know we need to talk. Just name the place and time, and I’ll be there.
I sat there staring at the phone for a few minutes. I kept hoping I would see the little dots telling me he was texting me back, but they never appeared. With a grunt of frustration, I threw the phone over my shoulder before trudging across the bedroom floor and out into the hallway.
Thankfully, I found the downstairs bath empty. I knew I wasn’t going to feel human again until I washed the alcohol stank off of me. Stepping under the scalding steam of water, I sighed. I had no idea what I was going to do about Gabe.
Even after the pep talk from Kennedy and Ellie, I still couldn’t imagine facing him again after freaking out like I had. Surely, he had to have been completely turned off from me since I’d left him with both physical and emotional blue balls. He was Gabe Renard, for fuck’s sake. He had women throwing themselves at him, and he certainly didn’t need to waste his time with a head case like me.
Once I’d showered and gotten my makeup on, I headed back across the hallway to my bedroom. Instead of going to the closet to find something to wear, I made a beeline for the bed—specifically for my phone, which I’d tossed onto the bed. My heart plummeted when I still didn’t have a response from Gabe.
Trying to talk myself out of the abyss, I said, “He’s probably still asleep. He told you himself he’s normally not a morning person.”
Yeah, that was my story, and I was sticking to it. Pushing Gabe from my mind, I went about the rest of my morning ritual, including prying Linc from bed and downing a scorching cup of espresso.
Once Linc was finished with the scrambled eggs and bacon Kennedy had made for him, I asked, “Come on and get your things. Since we’re running late, I’m going to let Papa know I’m dropping you off at school on the way to work.”
“Okay Mom.”
I stopped him in the doorway. “Do you have all your
homework?”
“Yep.”
“Your lunch money?”
“Yesss.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it—your mother is sooo lame for trying to make sure you have your shit together.”
Linc laughed. “Yep, pretty much.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Then let’s go.” I’d started out the door when Linc grabbed my arm.
“Wait—what about my brownies?”
Ugh. Time to come clean. I’d gotten a small reprieve the previous night when Linc had fallen asleep on the way home, and I’d steered his drowsy ass to bed without any explanation of the brownies. Thanks to Kennedy and Ellie cleaning up for me, there wasn’t any physical evidence either.
“You know, it’s a funny thing about the brownies.” Yes, ladies and gentleman, I was about to tell a complete lie to my child. “When I went to Blair’s to get the mix, they were completely out.”
“They were?” Linc questioned, his brow wrinkling. I could almost see the bullshit meter inside his head going off.
“Yep, and when I tried to make them from scratch, it turned into a big mess.”
“Is that why the kitchen smelled so bad last night?”
My eyes bulged. “I thought you were too sleepy to notice.”
“It reeked of something burnt.”
“Sadly, that would have been the brownies.”
“Oh,” he replied. My heart plummeted at the same rate as his face.
“But don’t worry, Aunt Kennedy is whipping up something extra super-duper special for me to bring for the bake sale.”
“It won’t be your brownies.”
Forcing a smile to my face, I countered, “I’m sure it’ll be ten times better than my brownies. Aunt K graduated from Le Cordon Bleu cooking school while your ol’ mom here can barely make macaroni and cheese out of the box.”
When Linc didn’t reply, it felt like a knife twisting into my heart. I wasn’t sure why mommy guilt had to be so damn painful. More than anything, I wanted him to yell at me, to throw his book bag while hurling an obscenity or two, but no, he remained quiet.
Feeling like an utter and complete asshole, I motioned for him to go on out the door. “Let’s get you to school, sweetheart.”
He nodded and then did a pitiful little trudge out the door. When I glanced back at Kennedy and Ellie, they both had downcast faces. “I promise I’ll bring the best damn brownies I can make,” Kennedy said.
“Thanks,” I muttered before doing my own version of Linc’s pitiful trudge. We made the drive to Hayesville Elementary in complete silence. I kept imagining this would be the day Linc told his therapist about, the one when he lost all faith in his mother, or maybe it would be the story he told his substance abuse counselor after my negligence sent him down a path of drug and alcohol abuse.
Instead of pulling into the carpool line, I eased into one of the parking spaces. While I could have called to inform the school about my utter fuck-up, I decided it would be better to tell them in person, not to mention the fact that I didn’t want Linc walking into school empty-handed.
Of course, I should have remembered that at his age, my very existence was a complete embarrassment to him. He reminded me of that fact the moment I started following him into the building. “Seriously, Mom?” he hissed, his horrified gaze bouncing from side to side to check if anyone had seen.
I held up my hands. “My bad. You go on in.” As he hurried away from me, I called, “Have a great day!”
I’m pretty sure he cursed me under his breath, but I decided to ignore it. Drawing in a deep breath, I walked inside the front lobby. I spoke to several of the parents I knew, many of which I’d gone to school with myself. It was pretty rare for anyone new to move into Hayesville.
When I got to the cafeteria, it was buzzing not only with the many kids who ate breakfast at school, but also with the moms setting up for the bake sale. Craning my neck, I searched the room for Pricilla Parton, the president of the PTA. I finally found her at one of the tables in the far corner of the room.
“Morning, Cilla,” I said.
She whirled around, iPad in hand. At the sight of me, her eyes widened before a beaming smile lit up her face. “Well, hello, Rae.”
“Listen, I have some bad news about the turtle brownies I was supposed to bring—”
Pricilla’s auburn brow creased in confusion. “Turtle brownies? But you brought all that fabulous cannoli?”
I blinked a few times at her. “I’m sorry…what?”
“When we arrived this morning, we found five pans full of homemade cannoli. It had yours and Linc’s names on it.”
An awkward laugh bubbled from my lips. “Come on, Cilla, you’ve known me since our kids started school here together—would I even remotely know where to begin to make one cannoli, least of all five pans?”
Shrugging, Pricilla replied, “I just assumed Kennedy made them.”
“No, she didn’t. She’s back at her shop right now trying to whip up some kind of replacement brownies.”
“Then who sent all the cannoli in your name?” Pricilla questioned.
I sucked in a breath so fast I wheezed like a deflated balloon. “Oh my God,” I hissed as it hit me just exactly who had saved my ass. I whirled around and searched the room for him. When I didn’t see Gabe, I remembered what Pricilla had said about them finding the cannoli when they arrived. Gabe wouldn’t have wanted to be seen at the school for all the craziness it might cause. Oh God. I had to see him—like, immediately.
Slowly, I started backing up from her. “Um, I’ve got to go.”
“Wait, will you be back at noon to help with the sale?”
“Yes. I’ll be here.” I then turned and practically sprinted out of the cafeteria. At any moment, I expected some hall monitor to yell at me or threaten me with detention. Thankfully, I made it to my car without getting in any trouble.
When I slid inside, my hands were shaking so hard I could barely crank up. Gabe had outdone himself this time. Even though I’d pushed him away and practically thrown him out of my house, he’d still gone out of his way to do something so considerate for me and for Linc.
God, if I hadn’t already been starting to seriously like this man, this was the gesture that would have sent me over the edge. But, as I drove down Main Street, all the voices of doubt chattered in my head. It’s too soon. It’s too fast. He’s just passing through.
Shaking my head, I tried shaking myself free of the voices. I didn’t want to deal with any of that right now. All I really wanted to concern myself with at the moment was getting to Gabe. I screeched into the driveway of the Grandview on two wheels. After throwing the car into park and killing the ignition, I once again broke into a run. When I burst through the front door, I screeched to a halt in the foyer. I was panting so hard I had to bend over at the waist to catch my breath.
“Reagan? Is that you?” Rejune questioned from the parlor.
“Yes. Mrs. Paulson,” I huffed.
“Are you all right?”
“I’ve been better.” With my breathing regulated, I straightened up to face her. “I’m here to see Gabe.”
“I’m not sure Mr. Renard is receiving visitors at the moment.” She lowered her voice. “I just heard the shower cut off a little while ago.”
“I’ll only be a minute.”
A knowing expression came over her face. “Why I’m sure a strong, strapping young man like him takes far longer than a minute.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m just here to talk, Mrs. Paulson.”
“If you say so.” When I started for the stairs, she said, “Why don’t you wait down here while I call up to his room to ask if he wants to see you?”
“I can find the way myself, thank you.” While she continued to protest, I hurried up the two flights of stairs to the third floor. Although there were four doors to choose from, the strumming of a guitar helped steer me to the right room.
Rapping my knuckles on the door, I called, “Gabe?”
&nb
sp; A screech came at the guitar strings. After a few moments, the door opened, and I gasped at the sight of Gabe before me. Rejune had been right about the shower—Gabe’s hair was soaking wet, and he had a pale pink towel draped around his waist.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” I muttered. We stood there for a few moments before I said, “Nice towel.”
Gabe grinned as he glanced down at his waist. “It would appear that Rejune has a fondness for all things pink. I haven’t been able to find a white towel or one without flowers the entire time I’ve been here.”
“It’s a good look on you.”
“Har har.”
Okay, Rae, get a grip and cut the flirty comedy routine. You came over to thank Gabe for saving your ass with the cannoli in spite of your insistence that you didn’t need his help. I cleared my throat. “Listen, I just came from Linc’s school.”
The corners of Gabe’s lips pricked. “I assumed as much.” He held out his hand to me. “Do you want to come in?”
With a nod, I slipped my hand into his and let him pull me into the room. After he closed the door, he led me across the room to an overstuffed couch. “Have a seat while I go get dressed.”
“You don’t have to do that on my account.”
He brows popped up. “Does that mean you prefer me half-naked?”
I laughed. “I meant, I’m not going to stay long, so you don’t have to get dressed if you don’t want to.”
“I think it’s best if I did.”
I got Gabe’s meaning immediately. Even after me pushing him away the night before, the sexual tension remained thick between us. I’d already fended off two imagined dirty scenarios of ripping off his towel and blowing him or ripping off his towel and then riding him like a crazed cowgirl.
I forced a smile to my now dry lips. “Yea, that’s probably best.” As Gabe started out of the living room and slipped into the bedroom, I got quite the view of his sculpted bare back. I fought the desire to run my fingers over the colorful ink splayed across the corded muscles. Once again, I found myself rolling my eyes and huffing in aggravation at my sex-crazed thoughts about Gabe. The last thing I needed at that moment was to give myself over to my desire for him.
When Gabe reappeared, he wore a red t-shirt that stretched across his heavily muscled chest. While his jeans weren’t indecently tight, they certainly highlighted his wide thighs. Although it looked like he had toweled his hair dry a bit, it was still somewhat wet.