Copyright Richard X. Ellison, 2013
All rights reserved.
All characters, events and locations in this publication, other than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
The moral rights of the author have been asserted.
Richard X. Ellison is a pseudonym.
Jane 8086
Part Four
A Story By Richard X. Ellison
Chapter One
The cab ride to 'Chez Blanco' had not been a pleasant one for Remi and Jane, owing to the fact that it was only then that Remi became acutely aware of the fact that he'd prepared no backstory as to how Jane had come to be in his company. The last minute scramble to secure all the little details that Allison had theretofore been exposed to yielded only one tale that accounted for the specifics; Jane was to pose as Remi's new live-in girlfriend. Other peripheral subtleties Jane had instantly committed to memory and the rest would have to be facts made up on the fly.
They arrived at the upmarket hotspot a fashionable fifteen minutes late to be greeted by a dazzling facade consisting of a swirling, flashing, blue neon script—the name of the restaurant high above the building, a variety of tropical potted plants, a cobblestone walkway and stringed lights adorning every arch. The muted tones of ambience inside created a soft intimacy for the dining area. Remi decided that they'd walk in holding hands...thereby lending their new fake relationship a modicum of credence.
They were still several feet away from their table as the maître d' guided them through the maze of patrons when Allison bounced up from her chair and waved them over. She was dressed similar to Jane with her little black dress, but Allison's depth of neckline left far less to the imagination than Jane's...and though her attention was clearly intended for Remi, Jane nonetheless returned Allison's enthusiasm with a smile and a wave of her own. "Hello again, Allison," Jane beamed, "Remi and I apologize for being late, but the cab driver we used wasn't as efficient as some of the others in the city. We did make good use of the time though,” she added, still smiling.
A taste like bile seemed to rise in Allison's mouth, "you two are just like a couple of teenagers, aren't you?" She'd intended to offer the comment through a display of congeniality; instead she spat the words through a barely concealed veneer of hatred...aimed squarely at Jane. Remi merely cleared his throat at the unintended innuendo and offered his hand to the spruce, yet somewhat unfashionable gentleman at Allison's side.
"You must be Mark," he said amicably, "I'm Remi."
"A pleasure," the nerdy looking forty-something said from behind lenses that seemed appropriately thick for anyone who was as devoid of muscle mass as he was. Greasy, brown, side-parted hair completed his bookish appearance, "Allison has told me so much about you." The expression he wore vaguely hinted that he'd heard nothing good. "And this must be the infamous Jane," he said as he offered her his hand.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mark," she said in her smooth tones.
"The pleasure is all mine, my dear. Shall we?" he asked as they took their seats.
Remi gently placed his hand on Jane's arm and pulled her in to her chair while she waited for Mark to complete his question, only to find that Allison had long ago abandoned standing and was sucking down the last of her merlot.
She signaled a waiter for another three glasses before turning to Jane, "So, why don't you tell us how you guys met?" she asked with an almost reckless casualness, skipping all pretense of social pleasantries to cut to the chase. It was though she'd already endured the worst and nothing else would possibly surprise her. Jane looked to Remi with a slight curl of her lip and one raised eyebrow for permission.
"Go on, honey," Remi said with an upward flick of his head.
"Well," Jane began excitedly with a flourish of her wrist that Remi had no idea where she'd picked up, "a friend and I decided to go on a trip to visit a few art museums in the tri-state area and I met Remi at the Brand exhibition. We started talking and I mentioned that Brand's work looked a lot like Johannes Vermeer, the Dutch artist, and then he said that it was more like Jan de Bray's because it was a little noisier in the clear spaces, so then I said that it was probably closer to Dirck Hals! Oh, look at me...if you get me talking about art I'll just never stop," Jane said with another little hand gesture, "anyway that's where we met and according to Remi, things just progressed naturally from there."
"According to Remi, huh?" Allison said quizzically, "and what happened to your friend?"
"She went home."
"Where?"
"Home," Jane repeated, "you may be suffering from impairment in your ability to hear, Allison. You should visit a general practitioner for a consultation.
"I meant, where is your home?" Allison snapped.
"It's where we came from," said Jane.
"WHERE IS—"
"PORTLAND!" Remi shouted quickly, taking Jane's hand and laughing to ease the mounting tension.
"Yes, Portland," Jane repeated with a pleasant smile.
"Uh huh," Allison nodded thoughtfully, "and out of everyone in that museum on that day, you somehow ended up speaking to Remi. How random."
"There's nothing random about it, Allison. Remi is a strong, attractive male with excellent genes. He is a virile alpha. I sought him out because of the biological imperative that every woman has. Remi will provide the perfect seed to produce many fine offspring," said Jane in a serious voice, before turning to Remi with a smile and a wink.
Remi subsequently buried his face in his hands before Allison continued, "and how long have you two been living together?"
"Two—" Jane began and was cut off by Remi.
"Months...yeah, two whole months. Time sure does fly."
"Indeed it does," Allison said with a raised brow and a little huff just as the waiter returned with their drinks. He placed a glass each in front of Jane, Remi and Allison. Mark was still occupied with his first gin and tonic. "A toast!" Allison said in a voice louder than she'd intended, "to new beginnings!" They raised their glasses, repeated the words and prepared to sip while Allison gargled down the contents of her glass like there was only a minute of happy hour left. Remi looked to Jane, eager to see what her first taste would be like and found her alternating between squeezing her eyes shut while making scrunched up patterns with her lips...to a wide-eyed face that approximated sheer terror. It was changing every second.
"Swallow it," Remi said. Jane complied and then picked up a napkin to wipe her tongue. "So what do you think?" he asked close to her ear.
"It assaults too many of the taste buds all at once, allowing none to be satisfied while they're in conflict with the others. It's an interesting sensation, Remi, but the combination of flavors seem to afflict the tongue more than they work to celebrate it. I don't think I like this wine. Perhaps, like my smoothie, I may get used to it in time. The napkin tasted better."
Remi let out a hearty chuckle and signaled for the waiter before ordering Jane a cherry cola.
"It sounds like you've either never had a glass of wine before or you've had too many," said Mark.
"Jane's palette is just a little more discerning than most," interjected Remi, "she's really a Bordeaux person." Jane looked to Remi and then Mark, collaborating with a series of nods.
"Well, whatever kind of person she is, she's the person that's stolen Remi's heart, here's to you, Jane!" said Allison, toasting with her empty glass and then waving it at the waiter—another!
"And what do you do, Mark?" Remi asked as a way to politely divert the conversation, "Allison mentioned someone new in her life but she didn't really go in to detail."
"New in her life?" Mark intoned, slightly surprised, "I don
't know if I'd put it that way exactly. I think Allison's been a friend since roughly after you both divorced, although this is the first time she's ever asked me out to—"
"Oh come now, Mark!" Allison overpowered him suddenly, pulling his arm across to her to stroke it, "we're all grown ups here. I'm sure Remi doesn't mind that we've been exclusive for the last four months." Her smile, grinding teeth and vice-like grip on Mark's arm were all pleas for him to play along.
"Yes," said Mark sheepishly, pulling away from Allison slightly, "as long as we're all adults. Oh my," he added, reaching in to his pocket for his cellphone and bringing it to his ear in one motion. "What is it?" Mark said before pretending to listen to a reply, "damn it all to hell! I'll be right there," he said, quickly stuffing the phone into his pocket so he could shake Allison off and stand, "my patient is rejecting his new heart, it's been nice meeting both of you but I absolutely must go. Allison, I'll call you tomorrow." With that, he grabbed his coat from behind his seat and dashed off.
"Good luck, darling!" Allison called as she reached out for a hug that wasn't coming. She sank back in to her seat entirely deflated. "The hazards of dating someone in the medical profession," she said with an awkward grin.
"From what I've read of the medical field, Allison, there is much status and prestige associated in having a romantic relationship with a doctor...even more so with a heart surgeon. I would say that you're very lucky, but I'm not yet sure that luck exists," said Jane.
"Look at me, I'm Jane, I know e-v-e-r-t-h-i-n-g," Allison whispered venomously while the waiter poured Jane's cherry cola, "I mean," she said out loud as she fanned her face, "of course there's such a thing as luck. You were lucky to have met Remi weren't you?"
"You're right, Allison," Jane said with a playful tilt of her head, "I didn't think about it like that before. I am very lucky that Remi found me!"
"I thought you said that you—"
"Allison," Remi interrupted, "is everything okay? You're not acting at all like yourself."
"No, it's fine, I—"
"MMmmmm! Oh, Remi! This is amazing!" Jane crooned in an almost sexual voice after taking a sip of the cherry cola. Her eyes were closed and her head was back, allowing nothing to intrude on the experience. "It's so sweet...and the bubbles...they're like hundreds of exciting little explosions all over my tongue! It feels so good! Remi, you've got to try this," said Jane, taking hold of his face and putting the glass to his lips with a look of awe.
"I don't feel very well," Allison said, suddenly appearing quite sick and trying her best to ignore the display of affection in front of her. She quickly gathered her belongings; throwing her phone and purse in to her handbag. "I, think I'm just going to go. All the best, Remi," she said as she stood up, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye and hurrying off.
Remi made every attempt possible—albeit with Jane's hand on the back of his head while she fed him the cherry cola—to stop Allison from leaving, including arm waving, throat noises and gestures with his eyes, but his efforts were futile. Jane, however, was able to multitask and turned toward Allison to flash her a big smile, "goodbye, Allison! It was so nice to see you again!"
"Evil succubus!" Allison growled through gritted teeth. She was already out of the restaurant when Jane finally lowered the glass—after Remi had drunk three quarters of its contents.
"I hope Allison feels better soon," said Jane, "it is inadvisable to have consumed that quantity of alcohol in the length of time that she did. It's more than likely what led to her feeling ill."
"Oh, I doubt that had anything to do with it," said Remi as he brushed the back of his hand over his lip, "next time, maybe just hand me the glass and I'll taste whatever it is by myself?"
"I'm sorry, Remi, "Jane said with a medium smile, "maybe I was excited? I think I really like cherry cola!"
"Yeah, it's pretty good stuff," Remi paused and sighed before continuing, "I just wish I knew what was going on with Allison. That was so out of character for her. I don't know what to think about any of this. And now we're stuck with the bill," he said gloomily.
Jane appeared equally upset for a moment, wearing a morose expression...then said,"ain't nothin, but a thang," doing a fair approximation of a hardened gangster, inclusive of hand gestures.
Remi burst in to laughter, "where did you learn that?"
Jane responded with a big smile, "I'm monitoring several trending social media feeds, Remi. I cross-referenced a line that received many smileys and likes with an on demand media provider so I could find out how to do it. I'm glad you're feeling better now."
"A little," Remi grinned, "you know, this place is really expensive and I don't have a lot of money. I haven't had a paying job in a long time. We should get going," he said, moving to stand.
"But, Remi," Jane whined as she tugged him back to his seat, "we took so long to pick my outfit and we've only been outside at night for a short time and—"
"Okay, okay," said Remi, "I guess we can stay for dessert."
"BOOYAH!" shouted Jane as she pumped her fist in the air. "True dat my N—"
"Jane, NO!"