“Then marry me.”
Well, that wasn’t what I had expected. Silence and a sudden need to swallow was all I had.
“See, you don’t want to because you don’t want me. You’re just playing with me.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay. Let’s get married.”
“What?”
“Let’s get married but you’re not asking me. I have to do it. Hang on. Don’t move from this spot.”
“Ollie.”
I ignored the call, ordering her to stay, having no clue what I was even looking for. A ring. Anything I could use for a ring. First, I searched a junk drawer in my childhood room, finding only the plastic part of a ring pop. I held it around my pinky finger, hoping to find something a little more appealing in the kitchen. This was well planned…The only thing remotely cute I could come up with was a Hershey’s Kiss. Digging through the bag, I grabbed a silver one and shoved the little plastic rod through the middle.
Walking back to her, I hid my surprise behind my back, trying to hide a laugh. I knelt on one knee in front of her and looked up. “Don’t laugh and don’t eat it. I swear I’ll buy you a real ring. This is about as creative as I get. I love you, Jaq, and I want to do that for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”
“Ouch,” she said, her smile still there even after I pinched her with what was left of the ring pop.
“Sorry.”
“You don’t have to do this, Oliver.”
“Will you stop with the pity-party? I’m not doing it because I have to. I’m doing it because I love you, and I can’t see me without you, ever. If this is what it takes to get you to see that I’m never letting you go, then that’s what I want to do. Will you marry me or not?”
“For real?”
I smiled and stood, holding her close, assuring her that I meant it. “For real.”
“That’s a good memory for here, right?”
A warm sensation touched my chest and I nodded, sure I’d never see this spot the same again. I kissed her for the first time in four days. Besides the quick little pecks I had managed to sneak in here and there, she hadn’t let me kiss her at all. Not like this. The explosives I heard were exactly like they were the last time I heard them, only this time they were grand, full of love and emotions.
“We could still do the air mattress memory, too,” she panted, her chin raising from my lips.
I pulled away with a little too much excitement. “You’re done?”
Jaq laughed, her lips falling onto mine. “I was done yesterday.”
Without another word, I scooped her up and carried her inside. We’d create that memory another time. I didn’t want to mess with the air mattress or anything else. My lips didn’t leave hers until her feet were on the floor and the door was closed behind me. A silence surrounded us momentarily, our eyes stuck in a trance, seeing only each other.
“Take your clothes off.”
Her eyes twitched a little, like she thought about it for second. “I can’t with you watching.”
“Yes, you can. Do it.”
“No, go in the bathroom and come back. I’ll hurry.”
I walked around her body, letting my hands glide down both her arms, my lips closing in on her neck with soft words to her skin. “I want to watch you.”
“Ollie, I can’t do that. Please don’t make me.”
“It’s me, baby. Nobody but me. I’ll help you, okay?”
A heavy sigh was followed by a dreading, “Okay.”
I sucked hard on her neck and let go, leaving her alone in the middle of the floor, plopping to the bed.
“What are you doing? I thought you were going to help.”
“I am. Take your shirt off.”
“That’s not helping.”
“It is. I’m going to tell you what to do.”
“Ollie.”
“Take your shirt off, Jaq. Now,” I said with enough sternness for her to know I meant it, but not enough to scare her.
She hesitated, taking a few tries to talk herself into it before doing it. It wasn’t slow and sexy like I had envisioned, but this was the sort of thing I loved about teaching her. Some day she would be sensual on purpose. Watching her struggle to be good for me was no doubt just as rewarding as when that day came.
“You’re so pretty. Take your bra off.”
Again, it was swift, her arms folding quickly over her chest.
“Move your arms and let me look at you.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I’ll do it with you,” I suggested, my own shirt being tossed over my head. “Take your jeans off.”
“But that’s not fair. You’re not the one with the problem.”
“You’re making it a problem. Put your arms down and take off your jeans.”
Of course, I wasn’t shy about it. Just looking at her made me hard, but I did let her off the hook and pulled her to me. She fit perfectly everywhere around me, under me, on top of me, by my side, in my house, in my lake, in my yard, in my life, in my mind. I loved her and if marrying her made her feel more secure, then I would make that happen for her. For me. For us.
“Ollie,” she spoke, her fingers running up the back of my neck and through my hair.
“Hmmm?” I mumbled to her neck, soft kisses trailing along her tender skin.
“You would really do it? Marry me?”
I raised my eyes to hers and kissed her nose, wearing a smile. “I’m going to do it. I’m not going to let you out of my life ever. I love you. I love you. I love you. What do I have to do to get you to understand that?”
“I’m sorry. I just never thought this could happen to me. I feel like it’s not real and it’s all going to end. I couldn’t go back there, Ollie. I couldn’t.”
“You’re not going to. We’re going to live here forever. You, me, and all these animals.”
“And maybe a baby.”
I sidestepped that one, too. My knee shoved out on her leg, spreading her more, ready to get her mind on something else. Not babies. Jesus Christ. “Maybe someday,” I offered, hoping it was enough to pacify her…again.
Jaq squeezed her legs together, placing both hands on my shoulders to stop me. “Wait.”
I frowned, the head of my dick right there, dying to slide inside her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I—I just.”
“What, Jaq? Say it.”
Her eyes looked up as she took in a long breath of air and spit it out. Sort of. “I wanted you to, you know.”
Even though I pretended to have no idea what she was speaking of, I knew. My dick knew. I swear my cock grew another inch just thinking about it. “Hmmm, no. I don’t know. What?”
“Oliver.”
“Tell me. What do you want?”
“Nothing, just put it in.”
“Uh-uh. Tell me what you want, Jaq.”
Jaq covered her face, her request muffled behind her hands. “Go down on me.”
Hiding a laugh wasn’t easy. God, I loved her so much. I moved one hand from her face and kissed the corner of her lip. “What’s that?”
“I hate you.”
I teased her with kisses and taunting words. “Did I hear you say you wanted me to lick your pussy?”
“And you hate me, too.”
That laugh was inevitable. “I don’t hate you. I just like seeing you blush. It makes my dick hard.”
“Everything makes it hard, soooo...”
Another expected laugh to her lips and a request I would never talk her into. “Sit on my face.”
Her hands covered her face again, but I moved them, pinning both of them above her head while my lips tried to talk her into it. My tongue parted her lips and I dove in and out, moving to her jawline, her ear, her collarbone, soft words to her skin. “It’ll feel good. I promise.”
Jaq panted, her body twisting into mine. “I don’t doubt it.”
My lips smiled around her nipple as I sucked it between my lips, m
y teeth sinking while my tongue flicked it. Euphoric desire passed between us, her body possessed with passion, begging to feel something. With me. Surrendering. To me. Wild and untamed. For me. My fingers slid between her legs, sliding her wetness through her slit, a dead giveaway to her increased libido. Her hips thrust into my fingers and her lips parted for my tongue again.
“Sit on my face, Jaq.”
A sort of grunt fell from her chest, the sound granting, and I took my chance. I rolled to my back, taking her with me in one swift move, leaving her straddling my waist. One little move and I could have been inside her, but I didn’t want it to be over that fast. Instead, I coaxed her up my body, a carrot dangling in front of her. My middle finger danced off her clit, waited for her hips to move, and then stopped. “Come up here.”
She mumbled a no, but her hips moved and her knees walked a little closer. Playing a cat and mouse game with my finger and her pussy, I coaxed her up to my mouth, sliding down to help with the last couple inches. Her hands stayed over her eyes, but not for long. It couldn’t have been more than three long strokes when her hand grasped my hair, stopping me where she wanted me, her hips dancing off my tongue. My lips enclosed her clit and I sucked, in and out, hard and desperate, tasting her desire.
“Mmmm, right there. Keep doing that.”
I had to keep doing that because her hand and her weight didn’t give me a choice. Even though I knew she was ready and I could have finished her in a moment, I didn’t want to. She may have been able to keep my head still, but I had full control of my tongue and what it did. As soon as her body stiffened and her moan started, I released her clit, licking her from back to front, over and over again.
“Oh, my God, Ollie. If you do that one more time I’m going to quit.”
I did it one more time, holding her hips in place to keep her from moving, and then let her come. Her hands slapped flat against the wall and her legs stiffened around my face, ecstasy releasing not only in her, but all around. From her, through me. My tongue stroked her a few times, letting her come down from her high before letting her crawl off and slide down my face.
“Stay right there, ride it.”
“I can’t.”
I didn’t really give her a choice. One hand flat on her stomach directed her over me and one hand guided my dick to her opening. “Stop saying that. Yes, you can. Just sit on it.”
Of course I had to help her, but once I shoved in and out of her a couple times, her hips began to move on their own. I did have to hold onto her wrists, though. It was either that or let her cover her face. I wanted to watch. There was a side of Jaq in this euphoric state, a side of me, something that only manifested when we came together like this. When we made love. I didn’t know why her, but without a doubt, I knew it was only her, it could only ever be her.
Wanting to be closer to her body, I rolled her to her back and kissed her, our eyes transferring something only she and I could share. “I love you.”
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I wouldn’t be here if you’d hadn’t showed up. I really believe that.”
“So, that means you’re good? You’d rather keep living here with me than checking out early?”
Her yes was given a couple of different ways, a mixture of pleasure and content. I stilled inside her and released with her, my own gratification mixing with hers.
The next morning when I stepped out to the porch and the brand new summer day, I didn’t see an exploding building, I didn’t see the terrified look in Silas’s eyes, and I didn’t hear the screams. I saw Jaq, perched on the little ledge, her arms out to her sides, balancing herself and wearing my ring.
My arm automatically raised for her when she joined me with a cup of hot tea. “I can’t marry you,” she assured me, her finger held in the air. “Cleo ate my ring.”
I smiled and kissed her lips. “I’m going to buy you the prettiest ring you’ve ever seen, my little Kiss.”
“What if I don’t want it? I’m not really the diamond type, you know?”
I set her cup down on the banister and kissed the back of her head, my arms holding her securely to my body with a flat hand on her stomach. “How about a bellybutton ring? Do you have any idea how sexy you would look with a bellybutton ring?”
“Yeah, like I’m that type, too. Nobody would ever see it.”
“I would see it. You should do it.”
“Okay, and I’ll just lift my shirt when people ask to see my engagement ring.”
I laughed, my words touching her neck. “What people?”
“Shut up. Do you want to go say good morning to the swans and feed the fish?”
“No, you go ahead. I’m going to call Silas and think about mowing the yard. It seems like yesterday I was begging it to grow, now it won’t stop.”
“You, of all people, should know to be careful what you wish for.”
“Right.”
I watched Jaq walk away, a quick kiss to my cheek and then my lips. “I love you, Ollie.”
“I love you more. Say hi to your friends for me.”
“Go ahead, make fun of me. See if I care.”
I laughed at her, dialing my brother. “I’m so not making fun of you.”
“Liar. Come on, Cleo and Leo. He’s mean.”
Silas answered just before I was ready to hang up. “I was just getting ready to call you.”
“Well, it’s about time. I’ve left you three messages.”
“Yeah, I’m still in New York. Something strange is happening to me, Oliver. I don’t get it.”
My posture straightened, alarmed that he might be ill. Silas was the only family I had and I couldn’t help but be intently worried. “Are you sick?”
“Yeah, but not like that. It’s a girl. I don’t know what’s going on with me.”
I squatted to the first step, a smile on my face, not only for Jaq tossing little pellets into the lake for the baby swans and the fish, but for Silas, too. “You’re love sick?”
“Fuck, Oliver. It’s not funny. Somethings going on with me. I mean, this chick isn’t even my type and she’s got a story, but I don’t want to ask. You know? It’s going to make me sound like I’m into her or something.”
“But you just told me you were. Who is she?”
“Just some weird ass chick. She’s not even blonde.”
Although it was very true, I laughed anyway. “Yeah? They come in all shapes and colors.”
“Shut up, man. I’m being serious. I can’t stay away from her.”
“Wow. Silas is in love. Why do you say she’s weird?”
“She is. She’s like a flower child straight out of Woodstock.”
“I’m not sure what to say to you right now. If I didn’t know better, I would say you’re not my brother.”
“Right. Fuck, dude.”
“So go with it. See where it takes you.”
“Yeah, she’s sort of taken.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s married.”
“Yeah, man. I don’t like it. Leave from there now. Go home. Get the hell out of New York.”
“I can’t. I’m working here.”
“You’re calling me to tell me this so I will talk you off the ledge. I’m talking brother. Get the fuck away from the edge. Come back.”
“I keep thinking the same thing, Oliver, but then I think about you. As crazy as I think it is for you to be with someone like Jaq, I see something not of this space and time when you’re with her.”
My head jerked from surprise and I frowned at the statement. Even though the same philosophies were spoken to Silas our entire life, he never really associated himself with them. Silas did his own thing. “Wait. What did you say? Not of this time and space? Okay, who are you and what did you do with my brother?”
“That’s how it is with her, man. There is no time. It doesn’t exist. It’s all in the moment. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and I can’t work. I can’t do shit without her taking over my mind. I
feel like I’m losing it and I can’t control it.”
I raised my eyebrows to the blue sky, looking to my own drug. Everything Silas spoke of, I knew all too well and I was glad that I did. Jaq came into my life from nowhere. None of it made sense, yet it all made sense. Jaq made me multi-dimensional, she made me a better person, and she made me forget the time thing Silas spoke of.
A deep breath and some little brotherly advice. “I should tell you to run far, far away, but I’m not going to. I know you don’t believe in this stuff, but if you did, I would tell you it only happens to kindred souls. I swear Jaq and I are connected somehow. I can’t explain it, but I feel it and so does she. If it’s real like that, then you’re not going to stop it no matter how much you try.”
“Fuck, Oliver. Fuck. I don’t have time for this shit. I don’t even like her.”
I laughed, knowing the exact attraction he was in the midst of fighting. He’d lose. I’d bet my life on it. He’d lose.
“What’s her name?”
“Grayce. With a Y. I’ve got to go; she’s walking toward me.”
“Keep me posted.”
“Yeah, I will.”
“Grayce with a Y” I said, my eyes going right to Jaq, full of more love than I had ever felt in my life. She wasn’t different to me, she just wasn’t. She was perfect, she was unique, and she was mine.
This should be where I say this is the end of our story, and we lived happily ever after, but that would be a lie. Silas has his own hot mess. And he thought Jaq was different. Ha. Stick around to hear more about Grayce with a Y and keep tabs on Jaq and me. Our story is definitely not over.
Epilogue
Jaq
Three months after that happy ending…
I never knew I could be loved, not like this, not the way Ollie and I loved each other. There was something between us that just doesn’t happen in real life. He wasn’t like anyone I had ever met and unlike everyone else, he never tried to change me. Oliver loved me for me, just like I was.
Looking out to the lake, I shivered, feeling the cool morning air. The thought of fall and the nights growing longer would have caused an anxiety attack before Oliver. Now…I’d be stuck inside with him. I sort of liked the idea. A lot. I would, however, miss all the time we spent outdoors. Never would I have thought I would be sitting here with a man I adored, the best little house in the world, animals I couldn’t live without, and love. I was surrounded by love. Love that healed wounds I never thought would heal.