Depending on the offence, people who committed certain social solecisms could find themselves gradually frozen out of society. Being refused the essential vouchers to Almack’s, finding themselves without an invitation to particular events, or being the recipients of the ‘cut direct’ were sure signs of social transgression. The cut direct was generally used sparingly as it was a powerful weapon in the social armoury, always done in public and always after making eye contact with the person to be cut, at which point the person making the cut would slowly and deliberately turn his or her head away. Phoebe Marlow in Sylvester felt the effects of society’s displeasure in this way, when she was suspected of having written a novel satirising several influential members of the ton. Excluding social transgressors by deliberately refusing to speak or associate with them was a socially devastating way of dealing with those who had crossed the social bounds. Beau Brummell was probably unique in maintaining his position in society even after receiving the cut direct from the Prince Regent. In the end it was Brummell’s gambling debts and not the Regent’s displeasure that forced him into exile in Calais.
RULES AND ETIQUETTE
Only those who had been approved by the patronesses and presented
with a suitable partner could dance the waltz at Almack’s.
Rules and etiquette were particularly prevalent among the upper classes with some kind of protocol laid down for every social situation. Very few of these rules were written down, however, and variations could apply depending on the circumstance. The most rigid protocol was applied at Almack’s club under the beady eye of its patronesses. Attendees had to enter the rooms before eleven o’clock or be barred from the door. Formal evening dress was essential: the ladies in their most beautiful gowns and jewels and the men in long tail-coats, white cravats, knee-breeches and stockings, and carrying a chapeau-bras. As Mrs Scattergood sternly told Perry in Regency Buck, under no circumstances were men to be admitted wearing ordinary breeches, trousers or pantaloons. Once the waltz was introduced into the clubrooms a young lady could only participate in it with the patronesses’ approval and on their presenting her with a suitable partner.
In society there were a great many other rules and points of etiquette which were understood and generally observed. In addition to the more deep-seated social structures that dictated the mating game, the choice of spouse and the conduct of married couples, many of the rules governed the behaviour between men and women and between the various ranks in the social hierarchy.
Social connections were usually formed through a series of meetings, usually beginning with morning calls to the homes of those in fashionable society.
Morning calls were generally undertaken in the afternoon.
A morning call did not usually exceed half an hour.
In London, a woman paid morning calls to her social equals or inferiors but not to her social superiors until they had called on her or left a card.
A person new to the city or country area waited for calls of ceremony to be made to them by those already established before they made a call of their own.
In the country it was acceptable for a man to make a call or leave a card with someone of higher social standing if they were new to the neighbourhood.
A gentleman calling on a family asked for the mistress of the house if the visit was a social one, and the master if it was a business call.
A card was left if the lady of the house was indisposed or not at home. It was acceptable for a gentleman to call on a daughter of the house if she were well above marriageable age or a long-standing friend.
Callers were received by men in their business room or library, by women in the morning room or in their drawing-room.
A lady, either married or single, did not call at a man’s lodging.
A lady was permitted to drive her own carriage, but only about the town attended by a groom, or by herself on the family estate.
A lady never drove on the open road or engaged in any kind of public contest or race.
It was acceptable to go out riding or driving with a man as long as a groom or other chaperone was in attendance.
It was acceptable to go out driving or riding with a man without a chaperone if he was a relative or close family friend.
A lady could ride a horse and even hunt as long as she was correctly attired and rode side-saddle.
Galloping in Hyde Park was prohibited.
During the season it was essential to be seen in Hyde Park during the promenade hour of 5.00 to 6.00 p.m.
Servants and social inferiors were always kept at a proper distance but without arrogance, pride or aloofness.
Servants were spoken to with exactly the right degree of civility and never with the casual informality with which a person would speak to an equal.
Neither a lady nor a gentleman discussed private business in the presence of servants.
Servants were generally ignored at mealtimes.
It was essential to dress for dinner.
When going in to dinner, the man of the house always escorted the highest-ranking lady present. The remaining dinner guests also paired up and entered the dining room in order of rank.
Dinner guests were seated according to rank, with the highest-ranking lady sitting on the right-hand side of the host, who always sat at the head of the table.
When dining informally it was acceptable to talk across or round the table.
At a formal dinner one did not talk across the dinner table but confined conversation to those on one’s left and right.
Ladies were expected to retire to the withdrawing room after dinner, leaving the men to their port and their ‘male’ talk.
A hostess should never give the signal to rise from the table until everyone at the table had finished.
It was acceptable to offer one’s snuff-box to the company but not to ask for a pinch of snuff from anyone else.
Overt displays of emotion were generally considered ill-bred.
Laughter was usually moderated in polite company, particularly among women.
Men could give themselves up to unrestrained mirth, provided they were in the company of other men or among women of low repute.
Well-bred persons controlled their features, their physical bodies and their speech when in company.
A lady always spoke, sat and moved with elegance and propriety.
A bow or curtsy was always made when meeting or speaking to royalty.
Children always bowed or curtsied on meeting their parents for the first time each day.
A bow or curtsy was executed according to the status and relationship of the person encountered and with regard to the particular circumstance.
A bow was made on entering or leaving a room, at the beginning and end of a dance, and on encountering any person one wished to acknowledge.
Debutantes did not stand up for more than two consecutive dances with the same partner.
Only those young ladies who were ‘out’ danced the waltz and then only with an acceptable partner, usually someone she already knew, or to whom she had been formally introduced.
Full mourning dress was worn for an appropriate period, which varied depending on the mourner’s relationship to the deceased. A person did not go into society while in full mourning. Half mourning (usually grey or lilac) could be worn after an acceptable period of mourning had been observed and the mourner could choose to attend social functions but not fully participate in them.
Every well-born lady and gentleman also knew the unwritten rules and understood the social niceties that set them apart from the less ‘cultured’ masses. These were often the tiny details and nuances of socially acceptable behaviour that were instilled from an early age and which were often only discussed in private.
To be thought ‘fast’ or to show a want of conduct was the worst possible social stigma.
A lady never forced herself upon a man’s notice.
No lady was to be seen driving or walking down St James’s Street where
several of the gentlemen’s clubs were located.
No lady was to walk or drive unattended down Piccadilly.
No female was to refer to any of those male activities about which a lady should feign ignorance.
A husband was expected to keep his indecorous activities and less cultured friends separate from his marriage.
A wife was expected to be blind to her husband’s affairs.
A married woman could take a lover once she had presented her husband with an heir and so long as she was discreet about her extramarital relationships.
Women were expected to be ignorant of any proposed duel.
A lady did not engage in any activity that might give rise to gossip.
Subjects of an intimate nature such as childbirth were never discussed publicly.
When out socially a lady did not wear a shawl for warmth no matter how cold the weather.
A gentleman was expected to immediately pay his gambling debts, or any debt of honour.
It was unacceptable to owe money to a stranger.
It was acceptable to owe money to a tradesperson.
It was considered bad form to borrow money from a woman.
A female did not engage in finance or commerce if she had a man, such as a husband, father or brother, to do it for her.
A lady did not visit a moneylender or a pawnbroker.
Extremes of emotion and public outbursts were unacceptable, although it could be acceptable for a woman to have the vapours, faint, or suffer from hysteria if confronted by vulgarity or an unpleasant scene.
A well-bred person behaved with courteous dignity to acquaintance and stranger alike, but kept at arm’s length any who presumed too great a familiarity. Icy politeness was a well-bred man’s or woman’s best weapon in putting ‘vulgar mushrooms’ in their place.
A well-bred person maintained an elegance of manner and deportment.
A well-bred person walked upright, stood and moved with grace and ease.
A well-bred person was never awkward in either manner or behaviour and could respond to any social situation with calm assurance.
A well-bred person was never pretentious or ostentatious.
Vulgarity was unacceptable in any form and was to be continually guarded against.
Indiscretions, liaisons and outrageous behaviour were forgivable but vulgarity never was.
SCANDAL!
For many in the Regency, and particularly the upper classes, reputation was everything. Scandal was the means by which most errant individuals lost their social standing but it was also the lifeblood of high society; the delight of both ladies and gentlemen who exchanged crim. con. stories on the dance floor, over a hand of cards or even at Almack’s, as Meg did with her brother Freddy in Cotillion. Criminal conversation (crim. con.), a euphemism for adultery, was common practice among the haut ton during the Regency, and the Prince Regent and several of the royal Dukes were among the worst offenders. Their various affairs, monetary embarrassments, debaucheries and excessively hedonistic behaviour were frequently scandalous and the delight of many of the great caricaturists of the day. Satirical cartoons by Rowlandson, Cruikshank and Gillray would appear en masse in London print-shop windows, drawing huge crowds of appreciative onlookers. In 1785, while still the Prince of Wales, the Regent had married his mistress Mrs Fitzherbert. The marriage was illegal because, as a Catholic, Mrs Fitzherbert was ineligible to wed a future English monarch, and the Prince was not yet twenty-five and therefore in breach of the Royal Marriage Act. Yet they lived together for several years until the Prince’s extravagance forced a change. In 1795, huge debts saw the Prince contract a hasty marriage to his cousin, Caroline of Brunswick, in return for the payment of his debts and a larger allowance from parliament. The couple separated soon after the wedding, but not before Caroline had conceived a daughter and heir to the throne, Charlotte. Never comfortable in his role as either husband or father, throughout the Regency the Prince behaved in a way that remained a constant source of scandal. His high-handed behaviour after his daughter had broken her engagement to the Prince of Orange was a source of eager gossip at Lord and Lady Lynton’s first assembly in A Civil Contract. Ever self-indulgent, despite his many attributes, the Prince engaged in a series of affairs with older women, spent vast sums on cosmetics, clothes, food, wine and entertainment, and on pet projects such as Carlton House and the Brighton Pavilion.
Money was a constant problem for the royal Princes, most of whom spent lavishly and were continually in debt. The Regent’s brother, the Duke of York, became embroiled in a huge monetary scandal when it was discovered that his mistress, Mary Anne Clarke, had been profiting from the illegal sale of military commissions and promotions. As Commander-in-Chief of the army the Duke signed off the lists of new commissions and it was alleged that his mistress could not have engaged in selling these without his cooperation. The Duke was forced to face a parliamentary inquiry and was eventually cleared of the charge but not before his love letters had been read out and reprinted in a series of best-selling scandal sheets which eventually forced him to resign from the army. Another brother, the Duke of Clarence, well known for his dalliances and in particular for his ten illegitimate children with his long-time mistress, the actress Mrs Jordan, sought relief from his debts by proposing to the very rich Miss Taverner in Regency Buck. Even more outrageous was the Duke of Cumberland’s reputation—he was thought by some to have committed incest with his sister Sophia and to have murdered his valet.
Outside the royal family, society was constantly abuzz with the latest on-dits, discussing every sordid or delicious detail of the newest infidelity, elopement, illegitimate offspring, bankruptcy, social faux pas or other dishonourable act committed by a member of the ton. Whether society forgave or tolerated indiscretions mainly depended upon the birth and circumstances of the perpetrator. Society looked with disapproval on many of Lady Barbara Childe’s escapades in An Infamous Army but her birth and her relationship with her grandfather, the Duke of Avon, saw her invariably accepted as a member of the ton. As long as the proprieties were met on the surface, what went on behind the scenes was often overlooked. Dalliances, affairs, mistresses and lovers could be acceptable as long as they were discreet; one could commit adultery, and it could be public knowledge, so long as the relationship was maintained in private and neither philanderer flaunted their affair in public. It was the very conspicuous and often hysterical manifestation of Lady Caroline Lamb’s passionate obsession with Lord Byron that society deplored and which brought about her social downfall. Above all, high society disdained open displays of emotion and any form of vulgarity. By indulging her feelings for all to see and publishing a scandalous novel, Glenarvon, in which she satirised those in society whom she perceived to be her enemies, Caroline committed the ultimate social sin. One of the main characters in the book and the object of her desperate passion, Lord Byron, was himself the subject of several scandalous reports which engrossed and titillated society for several years. Having been society’s darling after the publication of Childe Harold and The Corsair (although Judith Taverner in Regency Buck preferred the poetry to the poet!), Byron’s rumoured incestuous relationship with his half-sister, Augusta Leigh, his treatment of his wife Annabella Milbanke, his bouts of extreme behaviour, his debts, and his eventual separation from his wife, led society to turn their backs on the once-adored poet and he left England in 1816, never to return. Many young Regency men, including Oswald Denny in Venetia, aspired to achieve the dark passion of Byron’s Corsair by wearing their hair wildly ruffled, knotting a silk handkerchief around their necks and adopting a brooding, soulful look intended to arouse the romantic longings of any well-read or romantic female.
DANCING
Whether at a ball at Almack’s or a masquerade at the Opera House or Covent Garden, a Vauxhall Gardens fête, a private party or a public assembly, dancing formed an important and integral part of Regency life. All classes of society engaged in the dance in both private and public venues
and frequently in celebration of an important event such as a birthday, a coming-of-age or a marriage. Dancing was one of the few social activities in which men and women could participate together. For an upper-class debutante, balls and assemblies were one of the primary places to meet a potential husband and to demonstrate the grace, deportment, musicality and ability to master the intricate steps of the most popular dances of the day that were the characteristics of a ‘proper’ education. In Cotillion, for example, Lady Buckhaven prevailed upon her brother Freddy to teach their cousin Kitty the steps of the waltz and the quadrille in order to further her chances of making a good match.
During the Regency the four principal dances were the country-dance, the cotillion, the quadrille and, more commonly after Tsar Alexander had danced it at Almack’s in 1814, the waltz. The English country-dance had been popular since the seventeenth century and allowed for a large number of dancers in each set. Men and women formed two lines, facing each other, with the couple at the top of the set being ‘first’. As the dance progressed, the top couple would move one spot further down the line after each figure and eventually take their place at the bottom of the set, by which time the original last couple had become the first. The cotillion was a form of French contredanse which was itself a version of the English country-dance. Performed by eight dancers in a square formation, the cotillion was executed using a series of ‘figures’ and ‘changes’. A regular cotillion consisted of ten changes with a figure performed between each change. The changes were generally the same within each cotillion, but the figures between them were different for each dance. Similar to the cotillion, the quadrille was introduced early in the Regency and consisted of five figures and no changes using the same square formation of eight dancers. When it was first introduced the quadrille proved difficult for many unwary dancers and so cards were produced with directions for the correct execution of the various figures and changes. Almack’s provided dance cards for those less expert dancers but, although a useful device, it was also an unwieldy one when used during the actual dance. The steps of the quadrille were French and at some assemblies the master of ceremonies or the band leader would call out the figures to the dancers to make it easier for the less experienced members of a formation to perform the steps correctly. Executing steps such as the chassé, jetté, coupe balote, glissade or the pas de basque with elegance and grace required a high degree of skill. Marianne Bolderwood at her first ball in The Quiet Gentleman found that she had to concentrate carefully on the steps of the quadrille while her partner, Gervase, executed even the most difficult steps with considerable grace.