Lossiemouth, Scotland, December 25th, 1665
It was cold again on the shores of the humble fishing village of Lossiemouth, a quaint little town that I’d came to after first visiting Aviemore and Elgin further south. (I had stayed here for a while and ended my journey on the windswept shores of northern Scotland on Christmas day).
I remember leaving because it was a tad depressing.
Now I was back a few minutes after I’d left and it was still depressing.
Piper ended up in a heap on the cold sand crying while Chloe decided to, I don’t know, check the perimeter, I guess, because she walked down the beach away from us.
I sat beside the bawling girl and pulled her up into a half sitting position so I could comfort her without having to lie on top of her. So that’s how the first hour of my return to Scotland went. With Chloe standing a good distance away with her arms folded around herself for warmth, her captors had relieved her of her Nazi overcoat, and me with Piper’s shaking head on my right shoulder and chest.
Thankfully, we only had about three hours to go before our next jump. Surely nothing too life-threatening could happen on the beach next to a rundown fishing village in the next three hours, right?
“Chloe, stay with Piper. I’m going into town to get us something to eat.”
Without waiting for her to protest, I left them on the beach and entered the fishing village. It was exactly as I’d left it, which was a very good thing right about now. I entered the only tavern in the small town and headed for the bar. The shack looked like it had been burned once and the owners had tried to recover the burned places.
“Homer,” I called, knocking on the bar. “Jericho’s back. I forgot to grab some vittles for my journey.”
Homer was a stoop-shouldered man in his late fifties, I guess, and was a super nice guy. I’d spoken to him first when I arrived and we’d talked for a few hours. “Well, now, ye’r back,” Said the smiling man coming in through a side door and waddling behind the bar. “And ye’r after some wittles, ye’ say?”
“For me and my friends, if you’d be so kind.”
Nodding, Homer said, “Aye, ye’ve got a mighty long journey before ye’, Ah’d say. How many friends?”
“Three counting myself,” I said, leaning on the bar and peering out the doorway that was lacking a door. “Been busy today?”
“Not really. ‘Ad a few home folks in here earlier and some of the boys are swearin’ that a ship is coming in.” He frowned at me, “Are ye' wearin' chain mail?”
“Yeah, it's a long story.” I told him, glancing back to the harbor. I didn’t remember a ship from the beach. But I hadn’t been exactly looking for one, either.
“Sure been cold, though,” He said.
“A little, yeah.”
“Might come a frost tonight.”
“Really?”
“Yes indeed.”
“You guys don’t associate much with the south, do you?” I asked.
“Not too much,” Homer said as he put a jug of Scottish ale on the bar. “No cups so ye’ll ‘ave to share, Ah’m afraid.”
“That’s fine.” I said. Then we heard shouting.
“It’s a ship! I told you, lubbers,” the voice of a boy called as he ran through the streets toward the shore.
Shaking his head while he placed a loaf of bread and wedge of cheese on the bar, Homer said, “Thinks ‘e’s a right pirate, that one. Nothing but trouble, if’n ye’ ask me.”
I thanked Homer for the food and exited the shack, heading back to the sea. Sure enough, the loud kid was right. A ship was pulling into the meager harbor. It wasn’t a very big one, but still too big to actually use the dock and thus had to drop anchor over a-hundred yards out.
I found the girls just like I’d left them except Piper had finished crying and was pacing while Chloe sat cross-legged on the sand and watched the ship lower longboats into the water.
“Here,” I said, tearing off a hunk of bread and offering it to Chloe. “It’s not Wendy’s, but it’ll stop the miss-meal cramps.”
Chloe accepted the bread and took a small bite, chewed it up, swallowed it, then said, “I’m sorry about Svalbard.”
She didn’t need to say anything else. I knew that she was kind of a proud girl so that was all I needed. “Me, too, Chloe.” I told her before walking to Piper.
“How you doing?” I asked.
“I’m fine,” She said quickly, then, “Where and when are we?”
Since it seemed she wasn’t ready to talk about anything pertaining to her crying for over an hour, I accepted the change of subject, “Scotland around 1665. Also, Merry Christmas.”
“What?”
Oh yeah. Vikings weren’t exactly on the up and up with holidays other than their own. “Today is Christmas, a holiday where we give other people presents, receive them from other people, then watch the Charlie Brown special back home.”
And I have met Charles Schulz once. Just saying. I really just wanted to confirm my suspicion that Linus was really the only true friend Charlie Brown had and that everyone else’s friendship was based on his not screwing up, which, let’s be honest, always happened to the poor guy. I was right, of course.
“Where is Scotland?” Piper asked, peering at the ship, “And why would someone sail the sea on such an unworthy vessel?”
I laughed, “Because they tried to recreate the Viking boats and couldn’t.” I told her, offering her some bread and cheese, which she took.
“Should we be worried about these people?” Chloe asked, walking over to us.
I shrugged, “I don’t know. Far as I know ships don’t come to port here so I’m kind of curious who it even is. There’s a lot of famous pirates around this time. Who knows, maybe we’ll get lucky and meet one of them.”
I was, of course, joking. I didn’t have the notion of wanting to meet even the no-name pirates, much less the ones who were devious and violent enough to make a mark in history. The three of us ended up finding a large piece of driftwood to sit on while we watched the men in the boats row toward us.
We had about ninety minutes left on our clock when the first longboats pulled onto land and the occupants stepped out. They were an odd bunch, I’ll tell you that much, and they didn’t seem to be paying us that much attention except for the redheaded girl in a white flowing cotton shirt and brown pants who narrowed her eyes at us when she stepped onto the sand.
I waved at her with my gauntleted hand and smiled reassuringly at her to let her know we weren’t any harm. I guess my smile wasn’t reassuring enough because the girl approached us and asked, “Which way ‘ter Aviemore, mate?”
“You’re Scottish,” I stated, noting her thick accent and awesome bandana she wore in a very pirate-like fashion. “You tell me.”
“Ah’m not in the mood, ye’ lubber--“ She started but was cut off by the rather large man who came up behind her. “’Elp the men unload, Amelia. Ah’ll talk ‘ter them.”
The alleged Amelia left but not before glaring at me hard, to which I smiled and waved again. “Go help the guys, Amelia. The men are trying to talk, here.” I don’t know why I was being such a jerk. Maybe because madam fire-head wasn’t exactly on her best behavior herself and I wasn’t having a great day so far. I thought this more so when somehow, I wasn’t sure how because she’d been standing over ten feet away, I was on my back in the sand, my legs on the log I’d just been sitting on, with Amelia straddling my chest and what looked like a movie prop samurai sword on my throat. Actually it looked a tad familiar, to be honest.
No one moved, which was great at the time because I didn’t think this chic had taken her meds that morning and I wasn’t sure just how far she was willing to go with her curved sword.
Wait- I did know the sword. I’d seen it before over two-hundred years ago hanging in a certain emperor’s gallery. So what was the crazy girl doing with it?
Well, you know, besides threatening me with it while sitting on my chest.
But
just when you’d think I’d keep my mouth shut, I said, “Nice blade, carrots. Did you earn it or steal it?”
The look in her eyes told me I’d gone too far but the big man ended up grabbing and dragging her off me. “Ah said ‘elp the men, Amelia,” He growled. “Just go, lass.”
Amelia stomped off without glancing back this time. Too bad, really, because I had another witty comment I was going to make.
I sat back down on the log between Piper and Chloe and rubbed at my neck, “She’s a real charmer,” I told the big man, who I just noticed was missing his left hand, “Something tells me her father is going to have a time marrying that piece of work off.”
“Ah’m her father.” He said.
Wow. I was genuinely speechless.
“But dinna’ worry, lad. She only found out a few months ago.”
“Oh, well, uh, congratulations, mister…?”
“Call me Stubbs.”
I hooked my thumb at him and glanced at Chloe. “Stubbs, he says. I’m liking this guy already.” Then I looked back at Stubbs. “So why are you guys headed to Aviemore?”
I wasn’t sure that he’d heard me because he was frowning at the way we were all dressed. Then he said, while still frowning at our strange garb. “Ah’m from there. ‘Aven’t been back in a few years, though. I know its south of us.”
Piper and Chloe weren’t exactly in the most talkative of moods and basically just sat like bumps on a log while I chatted with the one-handed man. “It is south. Just follow the road to Elgen and its a few days ride from there.”
Stubbs nodded once and extended a hand, “Thanks, mate. We’ll leave you with it, then.”
He turned and started walking away, “Hey, wait up,” I called, jumping up and following him. “What’s the name of your ship?”
“The Starbuck and it ain’t my ship.”
“Love the name,” I said as I walked beside him toward the men unloading the longboats, “Who’s the captain?”
“Bartolomew Português is ‘is name,” Stubbs told me. “Now if’n ye’ll excuse me, sir, Ah best be ‘elping the lads.”
“Well met, Stubbs,” I said, peering at the sailors, who, after a closer inspection, were probably pirates.”
“Likewise,” he said and left me watching them.
“Hello, sir.”
I turned to the voice and saw it was a guy about my age sporting a velvet purple long coat. “Hey, pal. What can I do for you?” I asked him, looking him up and down from his boots to his fiery red hair.
He glanced over his shoulders before leaning close to me and whispering, “You wouldn’t by any chance happen to have a writing quill on you, would you, old chap?”
I frowned at the odd request and was about to tell him that I was fresh out of writing quills when the girl who’d tried to kill me saw our clandestine exchange and said, “Dinna’ even think about it, Newton.”
The red-haired man looked irritatingly at her before turning back to me and smiling hopefully.
“Uh, no. No quills to speak of.” I said, which caused a downcast sigh to escape the alleged Newton’s lips.
Wait a second-
“Newton?” I asked, “Is that your name?”
The man rolled his eyes around in a sort of manner that had me thinking he was trying to remember his own name before saying simply, “Yes.”
“Like, what’s your full name, man?”
Not knowing why I was so interested in him full name, he frowned before telling me, “Isaac Newton.”
Jackpot, baby.
“Don’t move,” I told him before racing back to where I’d left Chloe and Piper. Skidding to a stop, I dropped to my knees in front of them and grabbed each of their hands, “You’re not going to believe who is standing not thirty feet behind me.”
They exchanged glances before looking back at me. Chloe shrugged while Piper asked, “Who?”
“Isaac freakin’ Newton!” I said, smiling like crazy. Then it hit me. “Wait- what the heck is he doing in Scotland in 1665? He’s supposed to be home avoiding the bubonic plague and discovering gravity right now.”
Wow. And today happened to be his birthday, too. What're the odds?
Standing, I left the baffled girls to their baffleness and walked back to Isaac Newton. “Say, pal, just what’re you doing here? I mean, you’re supposed to be back home discovering-“ Then I thought of what would happen if someone gave him the name of his greatest discovery and finished with, “Discovering the, uh, many mysteries of the world and yet you’re in Scotland with a band of pirates.”
“We’re buccaneers, friend,” Said a tallish man who appeared at my side. “I’m the captain of this merry band of men and unless you and your strange gloves have business with my friend here, then you best be on your way.”
I held up my strange gloved hands and backed away, “Alright, fine. Don’t tell me. See if I care. And try to do something nice for your friend here’s birthday, would you?” I said as I turned away from them, “It’s not every day a guy turns twenty-five, you know.”
That was my bait wrapped around my intellectual hook.
Har har har.
“Wait!” Newton called to me, “Stop, sir.”
I stopped and waited for him to approach me, “How did you know it’s my birthday?”
“Just a big fan,” I said. “Look, you guys seem really busy so adieu, Newton.” I turned away again before remembering something, “Oh, and lay off the alchemy in another twenty years.” Then I turned away again before remembering one last thing, “And remember this more than anything, watch out for the freakin’ Exocoetidae book that’ll be out in a few years because you might want to reserve a slot before that little jewel comes out. Anyway, peace,” I said, smiling and leaving the dumbfounded pre-physicist blinking after me.
I guess I should’ve said spoiler alert first but there you have it.
Just FYI, a detailed book about flying fish came out a few months before Isaac Newton’s world-changing volume about gravity did and was so expensive that it almost caused the publishing of the most groundbreaking book ever released to not happen.
I sat beside the girls again and sighed. Then Chloe said, “I hope you didn’t tell him too much.”
Shaking my head, I said, “Nah. He’s got too great of a life coming up for me to blurt it out.”
“So why was he with them?” Piper asked.
I shrugged. “Not sure. But I think I might come back one day and find out. The worst part is that if I’d just hung around a few more minutes before leaving the first time I would’ve ran into them. Crazy, huh?”
They both grunted in agreement and we all just sat in silence as the last of the pirates made it to shore, unloaded gear, and went into Lossiemouth. Checking my gauntlet, I saw we had twenty minutes left.
Here’s to the most uneventful time-traveling jump ever.
We sat in silence for the remaining time on the blustering beach and just stared out at the sea. It was kind of peaceful, really, and I wasn’t looking forward to the next jump. Although for some reason my gauntlet wasn’t displaying where I was going next like it had in Dr. Sparks lab, I just couldn’t think of any of the places I’d been that I would rather go to that was better than just sitting here doing nothing.
Five minutes left.
“Well, I guess we dodged a bullet here, kids.” I said.
Then four men materialized almost twenty feet in front of me with their backs to us. Three of which were wearing-
“They’re in Dragonovs!” Chloe screamed, grabbing my arm and leaping to her feet. Then we were all running like crazy into the fishing town.
Something hissed from behind us and one of the upcoming houses in our path exploded.
So much for the most uneventful time-traveling jump ever.
Me and my big mouth
Chapter 26