I ran away from my foster home once when I was ten years old. The pressure of being that young and also being in the tenth grade was a tad much, I guess, because I packed my backpack with four PBJs and two liters of Kool-Aid and struck out alone in the small town of Pelahatchie, Mississippi. I left a note for my foster mother where I thought she’d see it on the counter a few feet away from where she was gabbing away on a cord phone and left.
My adventure, which consisted of being told, “Go home, kid. You bother me.” By the busman and being chased by two Doberman pinschers a few neighborhoods over, was a short one, indeed, but I would have soldiered on had not one key factor happened that made me rethink my escape of reality...
I ran out of Kool-Aid.
That, whoever-you-are, was my cue to call it a day and go home.
Oh yeah. I guess I never told you that whoever my parents were left me at an orphanage when I was around eight months old. I was a real life baby-on-the-doorstep scene, they told me.
Please, no pity.
The only real setback this caused in my life of perfection was that I couldn’t go to college at twelve when I graduated and had to wait till I was fifteen. Other than that I’ve been great. I guess if I hadn’t spent so much time with my face in books, and I mean a lot of books, I might’ve wondered more about why I was dumped and who had done the monstrous deed.
You say repressed. I say reformed.
When I arrived back home about a hour later, drenched in sweat from running from the hellhounds, I went in to explain to Maryann, my foster mom, that I didn’t mean what I’d written in the note and that I’d also like some more grape Kool-Aid.
Except she was still laughing away on the phone and hadn’t even seen the note.
Having to come home because I was out of delicious grape-flavored water (unlikely because I now hate Kool-Aid and have banned it from my mansion) would’ve been great this time around instead of coming home to try and save the lives of the only two people in 2012 that I actually cared about.
We were ready for anything when the three of us phased into Chicago. I glanced around and saw that we happened to be standing right behind my favorite coffee shop on this side of town. Mikey’s Place.
It was great that we didn’t land in the middle of a highway and get hit like three time-traveling bums by on-coming traffic, and all, but it was horrifying that Klaus had landed only a street over from my house.
I looked us over to see how we’d make out in a coffee shop and noticed that we didn’t look that bad for three different times. Chloe’s jumpsuit was okay, Piper’s dress would draw a lot of male attention and since I was a billionaire that everyone here knew, I could wear whatever I freakin’ wanted.
Except Chloe was in a Dragonov. “Uh, that might not blend in too well here, dearest.”
Then the suit disappeared right before my eyes. What the heck?
“How’s that?” I heard Chloe’s voice say.
“Of course it has a cloaking device.” I muttered, “Your old man really made these little jewels a regular Swiss Army knife, didn’t he?”
“Something like that. The cloak only lasts ten minutes, though.”
Piper, who had by this time saw too much science-fiction and was therefore unimpressed, said, “This is where you’re from, Jericho?”
Nodding, I glanced around. “Yep. The economy blows, the government is a tad tyrannical at times and healthcare is a nightmare but its home, I guess.” Then I turned to where I thought Chloe was, “Take the gauntlets and get into the sky. Piper and I are going through this shop and my house is just on the other side of the street, so meet us at my steps.”
“Be careful.” Chloe said, taking the gloves I held out to her. They vanished into what I was guessing was a compartment on the Dragonov before I heard the quiet hum of her taking off. Funny how the sounds of a busy city can hide the sounds of a jetpack.
I grabbed Piper’s hand, “You’re with me, sweetheart. Try and act natural and if someone sees us and sticks a small gray box in your face and asks if you’re an Australian model or my girlfriend just say no comment.”
Piper nodded like she wasn’t listening while she looked at our hands clasped together. Opening the back door, I stepped in and pulled her in behind me. The aroma of caffeinated goodness flooded my nostrils and I almost died from the heavenly scent. Man, I could’ve used a good cup of coffee.
We entered the shop area and I was recognized instantly by a lot of people. I had forgotten that I left with Chloe almost two months ago and to these people I’d been MIA for that long.
Of course, I guess it was kind of true.
We walked past the counter as the cameras began flashing, “Evening, Charlie,” I said to the smiling girl, who was now the manager of the joint just like I had said.
“How are you this evening, Mr. Johnson?” She asked.
Before I could tell her that I’d been better she blurted, “And where have you been for the past two months?”
Since I hadn’t been expecting to lie so quickly, I went with the story that I told Piper to say no comment on. “My Mediterranean villa with Piper, my Australian knockout model of a girlfriend. Duh.”
Reporters frequented Mikey’s Place because of me a lot and since I’d been gone for a few months the place was crawling with them just hoping for a glance of me, I guess.
Well, a glance they did get and then some as they blocked the door when I tried to exit with my arm linked through Piper’s.
“How long has she been modeling?” One asked with the dreaded gray box I’d warned Piper of.
“Since January.” I said.
“How long have you been together.”
“No comment.” Piper said, cutting me off before I could say December. Then she said with a smile, “Although it does feel like we’ve been together for hundreds of years.”
“Is she the one, Jericho?” A woman asked with her recorder out.
“Uh,” I glanced at Piper and sized her up. “Maybe. I do know that I’d travel through time and space just to be with her.”
A chorus of “aws” and “oohs” went up throughout the crowd of reporters. Pressing my way through them I said, “That’s all. You guys wait here and I’ll be right back.”
Cameras were still flashing when the two of us exited the buzzing coffee shop and walked across the semi-busy street, stopping at my steps. All looked quiet inside. Well, about as quiet as a four-story mansion could be, I mean.
I guess this is a good time to interject where most of my funds came from. I want you to think of the stock market, horse racing, the super-bowl, the lottery and just about every other gambling event you can think of. Got it? Now, I want you to think of the only person you know of that has ways of finding out what the stocks, horse race, super-bowl and lottery are going to do tomorrow. Got that one?
I think that's enough explaining, actually. If you haven't figured it out by now then I don't think there's any hope for you. And a lot of it came from stocks. Just saying.
“What’s the plan?” I heard Chloe’s voice ask from the middle of the steps somewhere ahead of us.
I tried to walk past her but ended up bumping into her stupid invisible armor and almost falling backwards. “Watch where I’m going, for God’s sake,” I told her, finishing the climb to my door with Piper behind me.
“Unlock,” I said, letting my awesome security system recognize the voice of its master.
I’d always thought this was super-advanced but since I had a cloaked suit of futuristic battle-armor behind me the thunder was kind of stolen from my expensive home-security system right at the moment. We entered slowly with me glancing left and right for any signs of a crazy Russian guy with a gun.
Chloe was still cloaked when she came in behind us and closed the door. It took us almost fifteen minutes to sweep the whole house before we could deduce that Klaus wasn’t there.
And neither was Evonne or Louise.
The girls didn’t think that was a b
ig deal. So I told them that they both lived there and, since they were old, never left at night to go on the prowl and paint Chicago red.
“How would you know?” Chloe asked, visible now because she’d shut off the cloak to let it recharge, climbing out of it when it powered down in my boasting room. “You don’t look the type to give them the night off much.”
After I decided that the Dragonov looked like it should be a permanent piece in my enormous living room, I glared at her. “Thanks for that, Chloe. And FYI, I am the best boss ever. Also I know that they’d be expecting me back soon and wouldn’t be out catching a movie.”
“What about your lab?” Chloe asked, ignoring my glare and trying to be helpful.
“We can look but Klaus couldn’t have gotten in,” I told her, heading for the elevator.
“Unless he threatened your friends with a weapon,” Piper threw in.
I gave her a horrified I-can’t-believe-you-just-said-that look and Chloe gave her the same look only hers was more of an I-told-you-not-to-tell-Timmy-his-gerbil-died look.
Shrugging, Piper added, “Sorry. Just saying.”
“Indeed,” I muttered, opening the door to the elevator.
The ride down was silent while Piper glanced around in awe at the giant metal bucket lowering us into the ground. Of all the crazy science-fiction stuff happening to her she was getting the biggest charge out of the elevator. Kind of hilarious, really.
Exiting the elevator when the doors finally opened, I saw that the lights were already on, which meant that someone had been down there recently because they go off after a few minutes of no one being present.
Or it meant that someone was still here.
But after sweeping the lab we found nothing but my research material and lots of old weapons. Then Chloe found a note scribbled on a Post-It stuck to one of the touch-screens on the walls. She read it and her face turned grim before she called me over and passed it to me.
“I have your hired help. Meet me in your classroom at the college to exchange the gloves for their lives. You have until 10:00 PM.” I read aloud, checking my glove and seeing it was 9:15. “Bit drab and uncharacteristic for a guy bent on world domination, don’t you think?” I coined to my female cohorts. “I mean, what if we hadn’t seen this? Or what if we didn’t even follow him here?”
Piper just shrugged while Chloe said, “No matter how long it would have taken us to follow his jump we would have gotten here at the same time.”
“I guess.” I said, crossing the room. “Chloe, take Piper back upstairs and look in the first guest bedroom on the left from the bragging room. There should be some clothes that fit her in the dresser.”
Chloe gave me a questioning look, to which I replied, “The Mu Tai say always be ready, Chloe. So that’s what I strive to be.”
It was a saying I got off of an old karate flick from my childhood, but hey, who cares. The statement would have been true were it said on my karate film or Blue’s Clues. “So you just bought girl clothes to keep around the house just in case someone you bring home needs to change clothes?” Chloe said, looking at me with narrowed eyes.
“Yeah,” I told her, lying through my teeth. The mentioned leftover hand-me-down clothes actually belonged to an actress that I dated for a few months who shall remain nameless.
No really, like, you’re never going to find out who it was. So get used to it and learn to let things go.
“And hurry. We still got to go to the college.” I told them while they headed for the elevator. Once they left I set to work selecting a few weapons from my old and new collections. Finishing concealing weapons like throwing knives, small handguns and things like that all over my body, I sat down to wait. The throwing knives were more for anyone else on my team who was feeling lucky enough to toss a few at an enemy because I was pretty much rubbish at throwing a knife. Evonne had tried to teach me but after almost a month that only had, like, two good stuck knives, he had told me that if I ever brought any along with me to hand them off to someone else who could actually throw a knife.
Throwing a hand-axe was more my speed but I saw that knives were a lot easier to hide under clothes that an axe, no matter what size it was.
Minutes ticked by.
I checked my glove every now and then and after five minutes I stood and headed for the elevator. What the heck was taking them so long, anyway? Surely a chic from the 8th century wouldn’t take long getting into clothes.
The ride up felt longer than twenty seconds as a crossed my arms and drummed the sharp fingers of my gloves on my skin. I’d forgotten that I was still wearing both gauntlets. Since Chloe had never asked for hers back I guess it was fine.
Plus, I looked a lot cooler with two. Just saying.
I stepped out into the hallway that led to the boasting room and crossed the distance to the door, muttering something about females taking forever and that this was the very reason I would never get married and have children because one of them might be a girl who will one day have a husband of her own and take forever getting ready and drive him mad.
Okay, maybe I thought most of that but some of the words actually came out, sounding something like, “Never gonna’ get married… be a chic… husband crazy… saving other dudes by not getting hitched. That’s a new one, JJ.”
Reaching for the doorknob, it turned and the door opened. All thoughts of having slow daughters vanished and were replaced by thoughts that were something along the lines of, “IT’S KLAUS! BAD GUY, BAD GUY! PUNCH HIS LARYNX!”
Except it was the girls, staring at me while I crouched like a coil ready to spring at an enemy.
“Bit jumpy, Jericho?” Chloe asked, smirking.
“Shut up, Chloe,” I said curtly, sweeping past her. “Let’s go save my butler and maid. God knows I couldn’t ever replace them and this joint needs looking after.”
And FYI, Chloe better be glad that I hadn’t punched her larynx with my fists of destruction.
Chapter 32