Cool, and tough, and strong.
That was what every girl wanted, right?
Chapter 45
Antanasia
"FLAVIU IS RECOGNIZED," I managed to say, although I barely heard my own words. It almost felt like my ears were ringing, I was so frightened.
He saw—and probably smelled—my fear, just like we'd all smelled the blood on Lucius's stake. I looked at Lucius's chair, but of course it was empty. Then I looked at Dorin, who was no help, and I had no choice but to turn back to Flaviu, who said, "We have not established the conditions of confinement. There are laws that govern detention, too."
He seemed outraged by this oversight, but I saw a different gleam in his eyes. The look of a wolf going in for the kill.
I didn't know what to say, so I let him keep talking, although I knew it was a mistake.
"The killer of Constantin Dragomir was held in solitary confinement with a restricted diet of bread and water," he continued, appealing to each of the Elders. "We determined that this was the law in a capital crime involving an Elder." His voice seemed to catch. "And this Elder was my brother—and one whom Lucius publicly threatened."
Solitary confinement? Restricted diet?
My head started spinning. Lucius hadn't prepared me for this. I didn't even know if Flaviu was telling the truth, because I'd never read all those law books. Had Lucius made a mistake? Had he underestimated Flaviu, who was demanding, "Well, Princess? What do you say?"
"But ... Lucius isn't even formally accused," I stammered, because I couldn't allow him to be detained that way. I wouldn't be able to see him. And without blood, he would..."I don't think..."
Yet I wasn't sure what I thought, and I appealed to Dorin. "Was that really what happened with Constantin's killer?"
Dorin had appeared conflicted before, but his cheeks got even whiter as he confirmed, "Yes, Antanasia. That was determined to be the law."
"It is true," one of the others—Horatiu?—agreed.
I took a second to try to think, but I couldn't. I just couldn't.
"Well, Princess?" Flaviu again pressed for my decree. "Is the destruction of a Vladescu to be treated as the destruction of a Dragomir, now that you are in charge?"
There was nothing I could do. I was the world's most powerless princess. Not only had Flaviu quickly turned our own rule of law against us, but he'd brought into play thousands of years of Vladescu-Dragomir hatred. I couldn't play favorites. Not if I was going to create the truly united kingdom Lucius envisioned.
And so, even though I knew I was potentially dooming the vampire I loved, I found myself saying, "If this is the law, then Lucius will be detained in solitary confinement, with only bread and water. Just like Constantin Dragomir's killer."
I was so flustered that I never even considered whether I could have put that to a vote. Could have maybe convinced a few of the Elders to support Lucius's right to at least have the blood that he would need, and spare him from a fate that some said was worse than destruction.
I'd just allowed Flaviu to pressure—to trick—me into making a decision that I could never undo. I'll have even less time to find the real killer, because Lucius will need blood. I might have to call for his trial before we have evidence to exonerate him. And I won't be able to visit him and get his help.
Frustrated, I finally said, "Meeting adjourned." And although I was supposed to leave first, I couldn't get my legs to work, so I broke protocol by telling them, "You are dismissed."
It was the most commanding thing I'd ever said to the Elders, but I was sure they all knew I'd only spoken that way because I needed to be alone so I could bury my face and cry.
Dorin made a weak attempt to stay, giving my shoulder a pat. "Antanasia ... I am sorry."
But I shrugged off his touch. "Please. Just go."
I was still sitting with my head in my arms maybe an hour later, when I felt a much stronger hand squeeze my shoulder. The grip was so powerful and comforting that I didn't even jump, even though I hadn't heard anyone come into the room, because for a split second I thought that Lucius had somehow come back. That the whole detention thing had been a joke or mistake.
But when I turned my face to see my shoulder, I found not Lucius's gleaming wedding ring, but a swirl of ink. And just as the vampire who held me said quietly, "Antanasia ... we should talk, yes?" I finally found the hidden symbol I'd subconsciously noticed, concealed among all his swirling tattoos. The same Cyrillic "b" I'd seen in my mother's journal, drawn next to the Romanian word "blestemata."
A word, and a symbol, reserved for vampires who were damned.
Chapter 46
Antanasia
LUCIUS'S STUDY WAS close to the meeting hall, and so I took Raniero there to talk.
I sat down in Lucius's chair, and when I pulled it in, I bumped the desk and his laptop's blank screen came to life, revealing that he had never logged out of his e-mail. There was a string of messages there ... which were none of my business, even if we were married. "Do you want something?" I offered Raniero. "Are you hungry?"
"No, grazie," he said, to my relief. I couldn't face failing at one more thing that day, even if it was only ordering tea. "You are very tired," he observed. "Perhaps you do not wish to talk tonight."
"I'm tired, but I'll never sleep. We might as well talk."
"It went badly today." It was a statement, not a question.
"Yeah ... yes, it went badly," I said. "I..."
But Raniero held up a hand. "You do not need to tell me what happened. I listened to everything from the anteroom."
I felt my cheeks redden, but Raniero shook his head. "Do not feel bad. You did very well handling Flaviu for one who was not raised among vampires. He is very slippery, yes?"
"Yes," I agreed. "And I lost total control, and now Lucius won't have any blood."
"Si, that is their time-honored way of compelling the accused to confess," Raniero explained. "It is what many would call torture, but what vampires call very reasonable action." He gave me a reassuring look. "But Lucius is strong, as you know. You must not worry. And I think there is no way that you could have avoided this for him. He wishes, above all, to follow the law. He would approve of your action."
I didn't know Raniero well, and had reasons to both trust and distrust him. But he'd been a vampire longer than I had, so I asked him, with a cold knot in my stomach, "How long can he go without drinking blood? What really happens, because I've only heard stories...?"
"I wish to be honest with you," he said. "Although Lucius is strong, he will begin to grow very tired within a few days, because he is accustomed to drinking often. And before even a week passes, it is possible that he will begin to slip into what the Romanians call luat and the English speakers call limbo."
His answer stunned me. I'd thought Lucius would have much longer. Weeks or months, even. And my stomach got icier when I asked, "What, really, does that mean? Luat? Is it like a coma?"
"No, not a coma. Something different." Raniero met my eyes with a steady gaze. "Those vampires who come back say that it is a realm of terrible dreams, between existence and eternal darkness. There are undead who linger there forever, unable to return even after being provided blood again. And those who do come back are almost always altered. Mad, often, or on the brink of insanity." His eyes seemed to get even darker, but he continued to give me the information unvarnished. "It is the rare vampire who returns whole, unchanged."
I didn't say anything. The fire crackled in the grate, but it didn't seem to warm the room.
"You must be careful to drink enough, too, Antanasia, while apart from Lucius," Raniero reminded me. "I know that you will not wish to, but you must. Your body does not yet need the amount that Lucius's will demand, but you are a vampire now, and require blood."
I was sitting with a vampire who was marked as untrustworthy, but I found myself confiding, "I only ever drank once before Lucius." I remembered standing in my parents' garage and pouring blood down my throat. I'd been angr
y at Lucius for telling me what I now knew was true—that I wasn't ready to be a princess—and I'd picked up a cup that he'd always carried and I'd drunk it all, telling him that I was a vampire. "Since then, it's only been with him."
That was part of being married. Sharing only each other's blood.
"It is not wrong to drink to survive," Raniero promised. "If you are separated for more than a few days, you must drink from the blood available here, in the cellars, and not feel guilty. It does Lucius no good for you to be weak. And he would not want you to risk yourself."
I nodded. "Okay." But I would feel guilty.
"You did not doom your husband," Raniero also assured me again. "It is a cruel culture that does this—and there is a good chance that he will be freed before you need even worry, yes?"
My voice was strangled. "And if he's not?"
"Lucius is strong," Raniero repeated. "I doubt that he is afraid of specters in dreams." The mysterious vampire smiled, but it was another grim smile, very different from his happy grin at our wedding. "If he does not fear Raniero Vladescu Lovatu when that terrible vampire holds a stake to his chest, he will not fear demons in his own imaginings."
I recalled, then, how Lucius had recently urged me not to fear my dreams.
"You have the power to call for his trial," Raniero noted.
"No!" I shook my head, appalled by the suggestion. "All of the evidence points to Lucius's guilt right now. They'd convict him in minutes!" And he'd be destroyed immediately. I couldn't even bear the thought, the responsibility, the loss. "I would be killing him!" I looked at Raniero like I was begging for his approval, because a part of me knew what Lucius, a fearless risk taker, might say. "Lucius is strong," I added, maybe trying to convince myself. "He'll fight off this limbo. I can't call for a trial until we have evidence to save him."
Raniero shrugged, like the decision wasn't monumental. Like life-or-death choices were nothing. He seemed to be like Lucius in that way, too. "Perhaps you are right."
I could tell, though, that he wasn't convinced. That he was thinking about what Lucius would probably do.
We got quiet then, just sizing each other up, until the fire popped loudly in the grate and I said, "I think it's time you tell me who you really are, Raniero."
He arched one eyebrow, a Vladescu mannerism. "Lucius tells you...?"
"Almost nothing."
"And you wish to know...?"
"Everything. Tell me everything."
Raniero nodded, and although he sat more stiffly than the surfer I knew him as, who seemed to be slipping away, somehow, I recognized the philosopher in him when he said, "Then we should begin at the beginning, yes?"
And the story he told me ... It was more complicated and awful than I'd ever imagined, even when he'd mentioned, almost offhandedly, holding a stake to my husband's heart.
Chapter 47
Antanasia
"I AM BORN in a villa outside of Tropea, Italia, in sight of the Tyrrhenian Sea, to one of the world's most wealthy families of vampires," Raniero began. "I am much loved by my parents. Doted on especially by my mother, who is the sister of Valeriu Vladescu, Lucius's father."
I already knew the family connection. Although they called each other brother, Lucius and Raniero were cousins. I didn't know much else, though. "How did your mom end up in Italy?"
"My mother is not like most Vladescus," he explained. "She wishes for a more peaceful life than can be found in Romania. She is like me, and does not like violenza. And so at a young age, she moved to Calabria, where there are many vampires—but much sun and laughter, too. A different culture, yes? It was there that she met my father, Alrigo Lovatu, and they married."
I already had a million questions but let him talk.
"Soon after, they have a son, whom they name Raniero, and for many years we are very happy and want for nothing. Least of all love." He looked at me again. "We are unusual for vampiri. We love much, as you and Lucius do."
"So what happened?"
He shifted on the couch and pressed his palms against the leather, like he was bracing himself for bad news, and I tensed, too. "When I am only eight years old, the Elders arrive on our doorstep and tell my family that it is time."
"Time for...?" My heart ached for him, because I already guessed the answer.
"Me to leave my family and travel to Romania, where I will be trained as lieutenant—possible successor—to a vampire prince who was born in the same year as myself. A prince who shows much promise and is being schooled to lead the clans." He shot me a meaningful look. "And prepared to marry a princess."
"And your parents let you go?" I asked, incredulous. My birth parents had given me up, too—but to a kind family, to save me.
And the pain I saw in Raniero's eyes ... It was a shocking contrast to the mellow, blissed-out expression he'd worn the first time I'd met him.
"My mother fought very hard," he said. "I remember her weeping, for she knew Romania. Knew the Elders. But in the end, my father agreed that it is our duty to serve the vampire world." A flash of anger crossed his face. "Perhaps my father is also ambitious and wishes to be close to the most powerful vampires on earth? For although the Lovatus are wealthier than the Vladescus, our name is not as feared and famous. Until I am given away."
I sucked in a surprised breath. The Lovatus were richer than the Vladescus? I couldn't imagine that. But of course, that wasn't the point of the story. "What happened when you got to Romania?"
"My new uncles begin my training." Raniero didn't try to hide the bitterness in his voice. "I am forced to fight Lucius, and beaten when I fail to live up to expectations for a warrior—even one who is a child." His gaze flicked to me again. "But you know this story."
"Yes," I said softly. "Lucius told me that he was beaten often."
Raniero nodded. "Si. But Lucius was raised with this from birth, and never knew soft touches. And he is stoic by nature. To be knocked down—flogged and scarred—only makes him rise stronger and more resolved to fight harder."
I was proud of my husband, yet I wanted to cry for him like I had the first time he'd admitted to being thrashed—and like I wanted to cry for Raniero now. "And you?"
He clutched the arm of the couch so his knuckles whitened. "I grow physically strong but angry."
Another endless Carpathian winter storm was raging, and the wind rushed down the chimney so the fire flared, causing me to jump. Or maybe it was the look on Raniero's face.
He didn't speak for a minute, and I let him stare off into the distance. His chest rose and fell, and I thought he might even be practicing some meditative technique, trying to calm himself down. When he finally met my eyes again, he did seem less agitated—although I knew that the worst of the story was yet to come. I'd seen his stake...
"Raniero?" I finally prompted him, although warily. "How did you get that tattoo on your hand? The one that is not a symbol for peace?"
Chapter 48
Antanasia
RANIERO LOOKED AT his hand like he'd never seen it before—or maybe hated it. He turned his fingers back and forth, studying them like they were his mortal enemies. Then he raised his eyes again, and I saw that he wasn't angry anymore. Just tormented—and confused.
"I do not know, entirely, what happened," he said. "There is a point where it all seemed to become madness. When the pressure became so much that it became pain."
My chest tightened. I knew what that was like. I was cracking under the pressure, too. Had dreamed so vividly that I'd sworn I hurt Lucius...
"I began to feel less able to control myself." Raniero smiled the bitterest smile I'd ever seen. "And yet, I was becoming exactly what they wish. The greatest warrior. So cunning and vicious that when I am fifteen, the Elders decide that Lucius and I have trained enough and I am useful in another way. Given a new purpose."
"A ... purpose?"
"Si." Raniero mastered his emotions and gave me a steady gaze. "I am dispatched to travel the world, finding and bringing wayward vamp
ires to justice."
I recoiled a little, then felt bad. But I knew what he was talking about. Lucius had described those vampires to me when he'd explained how "justice" worked.
"I was sent as what you would call a bounty hunter," Raniero clarified, using the very term that had crossed my mind when Lucius had read the law books to me. "And ordered to destroy those who will not come willingly to trial."
I barely heard my next question, I was so reluctant to ask it. "How often did that happen?"
Raniero's eyes were remorseful. "You are beginning to know our race." He paused. "There are some who would say that I was not a bounty hunter but an assassin. When Lucius speaks of ending the lynch mob as the primary form of vampire justice, he speaks of me and others like me. I was that mob, but I worked so efficiently that I needed no assistance. I was a 'mob' of one."
The wind roared around the castle, and I stared at Raniero, not sure if I was horrified or relieved to know the truth about him. Probably a little of both. The vampire who now wouldn't kill a bug had taken many lives.
I knew the story wasn't quite finished, though. "Why did they take your stake away?"
He raked his hand through his hair, a gesture that also reminded me of Lucius. Is Lucius cold in this awful storm? Does he have a fire? Or is he so deep in the castle that he doesn't even know the whole place is practically shaking in the gale?
"It is confusing even to me, even now," Raniero said. "In the summer of my sixteenth year, I returned to Romania for the congress of vampires..."
I flinched at his mention of the meeting at which Lucius's and my fitness to rule would be voted on—if we got that far.
"...and of course I am unhappy to see those who have made me into something I do not wish to be. Who twist me until I do not know who or what I am." He seemed even more confused as he relived the memory. "And one evening, everything goes wrong."