I kept staring at the cup, filled with a stranger's blood. "No, he doesn't understand."
"But he's right about your needing to do this." She rested her hand on my arm. "Don't feel bad, Antanasia. It's not wrong, if Lucius isn't here. You have to do it."
I looked into her eyes—the same shade as mine—and saw not only sympathy but genuine understanding, and I suddenly remembered that question Mindy had raised.
Who bit Ylenia?
Why didn't she have a partner? Because if she was fully a vampire, her fangs released to grow and change by the bite of a male, that moment was as close to sacred as vampires got. My wedding had been a public recognition of Lucius's and my commitment, but our private moment had been even more important. Lucius had told me, before he'd plunged his fangs into my throat, "This is eternity, for us."
From that moment on, I was supposed to drink only from him, and he from me.
"It's okay," Ylenia promised again. "You have to drink like this, if you're alone. Lucius will understand. He'd tell you to do this."
The understanding in her eyes gave me the courage to reach for the cup. "I know. I know you're right."
Then she stepped back, too, and I lifted the cup quickly, because I was afraid if I hesitated, I wouldn't be able to do it. And the blood tasted so bitter and sour that I gagged when it touched my lips. I'd heard vampires talk about incredible vintages they'd sampled, and I knew that Dorin had probably picked from the best of the Vladescus' fabled cellars for me, but my shoulders heaved as the blood passed over my tongue. It wasn't just the taste that choked me, or the idea of drinking blood in general, because I did that all the time. It was the feeling that I was breaking my vows, no matter what Raniero or Ylenia or Dorin said.
I'm betraying Lucius ... again. Betraying him...
"Just swallow it," Ylenia whispered, touching my shoulder. "Gulp it down if you have to. It's okay."
I nodded and put the cup against my lips again and did what she told me. I drank quickly, draining the cup, then slammed it down on my vanity and wiped my hand across my mouth. My fingers shook, and I saw the blood on them.
"Get a damp cloth, Dorin," Ylenia directed. "Now."
"Yes, yes," Dorin said. A moment later he was wiping my hands clean, and they both seemed to understand that I didn't want to talk anymore.
We walked to the funeral chamber together and my body did feel stronger, but I couldn't stop thinking that I should have waited until after the burial—trusted my own instincts over my relatives' well-meaning urging—because my head was a mess going into my first appearance before a large gathering of my subjects.
Chapter 56
Mindy
FOR A GUY everybody seemed to hate, Claudio Vladescu drew a pretty big crowd. I was at the tail end of a line of at least a hundred vampires, everybody wearing black and shuffling toward the casket to look at him, like the world's saddest parade.
I turned to check out the guy behind me.
Well, to be honest, nobody looked that sad. Maybe just a little bummed to be stuck spending Saturday with a corpse in a huge, creepy room. The funeral hall was like a church, with a high, pointed ceiling, but there were no statues or anything. Just a bunch of wooden chairs lined up against the walls, and a stone table in the middle of the room, where the casket was, and a little stone platform where I guessed Jess would stand up and talk. There weren't even any windows, so it almost felt like we were all getting buried.
I couldn't believe Jess was really gonna take charge of all this.
"Ahem."
The vampire behind me cleared his throat, and I saw that the line had moved ahead without me. I took a step forward, and a second later it was my turn to see Claude. I peeked inside the box, and it wasn't as gross as I expected. He looked pretty much like he'd looked back at Jess's wedding. Pale, and old, and scary. He was all wound up in a black cloth, like a dirty caterpillar that would never turn into anything good.
"Ahem."
I shot the vampire behind me a look and said, "Okay, I'm moving!" Then I went to find an empty seat, and when I sat down I dug in my purse for my phone so I could turn the ringer off, 'cause I didn't wanna interrupt Jess's big moment. Not that anybody ever called me anymore. Jess and Ronnie had been pretty much it. And now it was down to Jess.
I was flicking the switch to mute when all of a sudden everybody around me started making noise. All those bloodsuckers started chattering like either the body had sat up or some huge rock star had stopped by to pay his respects. I got hit with a case of nerves for Jess and looked up, expecting to see Princess Antanasia Dragomir Vladescu walking through the big double doors at the end of the room.
But Jess wasn't there yet, and I got totally confused, 'cause the rock star everybody was still going nuts over, whispering like crazy...
It was my ex-boyfriend, Raniero Vladescu Lovatu.
Standing right in front of the casket, alone.
In a suit.
Chapter 57
Antanasia
DORIN AND YLENIA could only go with me so far before they had to join the line to view Claudiu, so I stood alone outside the door that I would use to enter the funeral hall.
My heart had started pounding harder with each step I'd taken toward that chamber, and it was racing so hard by then that I was afraid it might explode. A vampire's heart shouldn't beat that fast. I wiped my mouth again, because I couldn't get rid of that bitter, sour taste, either, even though my tongue was dry as a bone.
I'm not ready ... I need Lucius ... Need my mom to tell me it's going to be okay...
But that wasn't going to happen, and suddenly, from the other side of the door, I heard the crowd get unexpectedly loud, and I had no idea what was happening, and no time to even wonder, because without warning—I still hadn't learned the secret cue—the door was pulled open and I stood before a crowd that was bigger than I'd expected.
This is it. My first appearance as princess since my wedding, when Lucius was with me.
The chatter stopped dead as about two hundred vampires stood up out of respect not for Claudiu but for me. I could sense how curious some of them were—those who hadn't seen me yet in the flesh—as I looked out over a sea of black suits and pale skin, trying to take my time, gather my scattered thoughts, and find familiar faces.
Mindy, who gave me an overly enthusiastic thumbs-up.
Raniero, who stood with his back against the far wall, hands clasped but head unbowed.
And I located Ylenia, who gave me a slight, sober nod of encouragement, and my uncle Dorin, who sat with the other Elders.
I can do this—for Lucius, I told myself. Step up on the podium, call for a minute of silence, listen for bells to toll, then speak.
Then I saw Flaviu Vladescu, who managed to scowl and smile at the same time, like he couldn't wait to see me fail, and my mind went completely blank.
Chapter 58
Mindy
THE WHOLE WORLD of vampires was watching Jess, and that was, like, the first time it really hit me: Holy crap. She is really, honestly a PRINCESS.
Sure, she'd looked like a princess at her wedding, but lots of girls did. And yeah, she lived in a castle and had servants. But when those big doors opened and my best friend stood alone in a plain black dress and everybody stood up, I honestly got what it meant to be royal.
And for the first time, I had to say that I was one hundred percent glad she was the princess and not me. I wouldn't of traded places with her for everything in that castle, including the diamonds I was pretty sure she had, even if she didn't wear 'em.
I also kept looking at Raniero, who was standing against a wall in his suit looking hotter than ever, with his hands folded and his chin held high, like he didn't notice that there were still vampires sneaking looks at him, too. And while I finally got who Jess really was now, I kept thinking, Who the heck do they all think Raniero is? 'Cause I hadn't understood the whispers, but I knew the sound of freaked-out vampires when I heard them. They sounded exactly like freak
ed-out people.
Ronnie bowed his head, but I saw his eyes moving back and forth like he was hunting for somebody in that crowd, and I started to think about that picture on the Internet, and for the first time since I kissed him, I also wondered, Am I sure I know who he is?
Then I looked back at Jess and started to sweat, 'cause it was very clear that she was freaking out, too.
Chapter 59
Antanasia
SOMEHOW I MANAGED to step up to the podium in a silence that was worthy of the mausoleum it felt like we were already in.
And somehow I remembered to call for one minute of silence, using the words that I'd memorized in Romanian. "Vom respecta acum tacere la marca Claudiu Vladescu trecerea intr-un teren de curcubeu."
Immediately I heard rumblings, like my pronunciation had been way off, and when I looked to Dorin, his eyes were wide with surprise. And Ylenia had grabbed the arm of the vampire next to her, like I'd shocked her, too.
Hadn't I said the right words? But I'd memorized the script they'd provided. We will now observe silence to mark Claudiu Vladescu's passage into eternal silence. I was sure I'd said it right, but when I looked around, it was clear that something had gone wrong. Some vampires were obviously struggling not to laugh. Flaviu was among them, his pale hand pressed against his mouth and his shoulders shaking—although we were there to bury his brother.
Of course Mindy seemed as baffled as me. She turned up her hands and mouthed, "I don't know."
I wanted to ask somebody what I'd done, or better yet run out of the room, but I was all alone up there, and all I could do was bow my head and fight to remember the words that I'd speak in English, because there was no way I could have memorized an entire Romanian eulogy.
When I looked down, though—directly into Claudiu's casket—it didn't matter that my carefully memorized speech had flown from my brain. Because Claudiu wasn't in that ebony box.
Lucius was, with a huge, gaping hole in his chest.
And the last thing I remembered was me shrieking so loudly that the sound echoed off the walls and drowned out the bells that were starting to toll out over the snow-covered valley to announce that a noble vampire was dead.
Chapter 60
Lucius
RANIERO—
Is it the weakness that I begin to suffer which causes me to succumb to foreboding and grim conjecture, or has something truly befallen Antanasia? I felt something tear through me as the bells tolled for Claudiu.
Perhaps my dark intuition is due to lack of her blood, which leaves me fatigued enough that I do begin to coexist peacefully with my rodent cellmate, who curls at the very foot which I once used to kick him. Or perhaps the bond of marriage is truly such that I feel what she feels ... Please, Raniero. News.
L
Chapter 61
Antanasia
"SHE'S NOT EATING enough. She's weak."
"She's exhausted from worrying about Lucius."
"What she needs is air! Give her some room already!"
The darkness that had been smothering me started to lift, and I was able to recognize the voices swirling above my head. Dorin, fussing about my diet. Ylenia, sympathizing about my separation from Lucius. And Mindy taking charge in a voice that was more commanding than any I'd used during my entire time as a princess.
"Seriously," Mindy barked as my eyelids fluttered open. "Give her some freakin' space!"
My friends were so intent on helping me that they didn't even notice I was alert, if groggy, until I pushed myself up onto my elbows and cried softly, "Lucius? How is Lucius?"
"He's fine," Mindy said as they all turned to look down at me. I sat up straighter, and she plopped down at my side, elbowing Ylenia aside in the process. "You just had a little freak-out, that's all."
"You promise ... Lucius is okay."
"I promise." Mindy seemed confused. "Nothing happened to Lucius!"
I relaxed just a little, but my head ached and my thinking seemed clouded. "What did happen? I don't remember much, except seeing Lucius in a casket."
Min gave me a weird look. "Jess, it was Claude in the casket. I swear. I saw him."
The fog in my brain seemed to clear a little more, and we shared a look, and both of us knew enough not to say what we were thinking. I'd hallucinated. Again.
Then Ylenia interrupted, explaining, "You were presiding over the funeral, and you suddenly started to cry out for Lucius. Then it seems as though you ... fainted."
Dorin nodded, confirming the story. "Yes, you ... you said something strange in Romanian, then you collapsed. It was terrifying!"
"Yeah, I remember now." It all came rushing back, from stepping toward the podium to the laughter to the moment when I'd screamed, and I cried out again, "Oh, no!"
All those vampires whose votes we would need at the congress had seen me lose it. What tiny, tiny shreds had been left of Lucius's dream of coronation were gone, incinerated by me.
Lucius was in prison, but I'd never doubted that if —when he was released, he would still have the full faith of the relatives who had watched him grow into his role as a prince. They would still want him as a king. But me ... They would never want me now, and we were a package deal.
"What did I say that made them laugh?" I asked Dorin and Ylenia. Not that it mattered at that point. "I memorized the script."
"You didn't say what we wrote," Ylenia gently corrected me. "You committed Claudiu to a 'land of rainbows,' instead of 'eternal silence.' Obviously we didn't write that for you."
"'Rainbows'?" I got even more confused. "But I don't even know that word in Romanian."
"Who knows what you've heard and stored in your subconscious?" Dorin leaned over me and fussed with my pillow. It seemed like he couldn't even meet my eyes, like I'd humiliated him, too. "Who knows?"
I also noticed that Mindy was watching my relatives with the same expression Lucius often did. One of skepticism bordering on dislike. But my mistake hadn't been their fault.
"Who finished the funeral?" I asked, my gaze darting among the three of them. "How did I get here?"
"Flaviu stepped forward, as was right," Dorin explained. "He is Claudiu's successor."
"Flaviu..." I rubbed my head where I must have bumped it. He has to be behind whatever is happening to Lucius—and me. And I don't have the power to fight him. I just don't.
"How did I get here?" I asked again. "Did somebody carry me?"
As if they were puppets connected by the same string, my three protectors turned to the far corner of my bedroom, and I jerked upright as a tall, imposing vampire who I hadn't even realized was with us stepped out of the shadows and announced, "I wish for everyone to leave now. For I want to speak with Antanasia. Alone."
Chapter 62
Antanasia
WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE left, Raniero stood next to my bed, and I saw before me a vampire who really was caught between two worlds. One who looked like he was in limbo.
The suit was gone, but so was the taco monster, replaced by a familiar, expensive T-shirt. He wore a nice pair of Levi's, too, but his goatee was still a disaster. And his unusual gray-green eyes ... They seemed almost too still, like the ocean gets right before a huge storm.
"You saw Lucius in the casket?" he asked. "You ... hallucinate?"
I peered up at him from my nest of pillows, and it seemed like my thoughts swirled in a pattern as confusing and convoluted as his tattoos. He's a damned, damaged peacenik assassin vegan vampire, Lucius's best friend and almost-killer, and second in line for my husband's throne, but he may be the one individual who can help us both if he doesn't go mad in the process—and I have no idea what I should tell him.
"I'm ... I'm too tired and confused to talk about it right now," I said, hedging. "I need to rest."
Raniero nodded, and I thought he was going to tell me that it was okay. That I should lie down for a while. I must have expected sympathy because I'd grown so used to everyone offering it as I attempted vainly to be a princess.
A
nd so I was completely caught off guard when he said to me, not unkindly but a little sternly, "I know that this will seem to go against everything which I believe, Antanasia, but if you wish to be a ruler and save your husband—who does grow weaker—now is the time to begin fighting for everything you want, as hard as you are able. There is no more time to be a child, complaining of fatigue and confusion."
While I was still sitting there with my mouth open—I'm doing the best I can. It's hard—he added, "And you must decide, once and for all, if you want to ally yourself with me, for I am eager to know if I am about to fight, too. I am happy to lose my worthless existence, but I wish to do so for one who appreciates the sacrifice and is willing to fall by my side, if it comes to that."
Then Raniero drew himself up to his full height and advised me, "And if you choose to fight, I suggest, very strongly, that you begin by getting out of bed."
Suddenly, as I met his eyes, I realized that Raniero was everything I'd thought he was—all at once. He was a vegan and a vampire, a Buddhist and a bloodsucker, a pacifist and an assassin. But he was shedding half of those personas, and fast.
He had chosen what he would be, and unlike me, he wasn't looking back, pointlessly wishing he were still in high school when there was a vampire nation to rule and his best friend to save.
I watched Raniero walk out of the room, still speechless and wondering what, exactly, the old Raniero would be like when I met him in all of his former glory. Because that vampire who was emerging, the one who had destroyed maybe dozens of times and had once nearly staked my husband—he was my new ally.