***
John had watched Alan Walker become more soldier like with every day that passed. After a lot of care from Marie’s nursing unit, his hands were now healing but sadly, he may never have the full use of them again. The initial damage had not been dealt with quickly enough. He carried out every task with determination and courage. Alan hated those currently in power and was desperate to see them defeated.
Alan was cleaning his weapons when his radio came to life, ‘Alan, I need to speak with you, meet me at the store in M300 at 8 pm.’
‘Roger Sir, will do.’ Alan was uncertain about what the boss wanted to talk to him about, but he felt privileged that John would want to speak to him personally. There was something about John Judge that gave him hope even though at the time he was in a hopeless position. After his release from Southwark Park Conpen, he vowed to serve John Judge and help him achieve his aims. Alan looked at his map and saw that he wasn’t too far from M300, which was the old British Museum station; it had been disused for about 80 years. He was in charge of a small detachment of men. Goodge Street Underground had become their base and their home. Apart from the job of developing their underground base there were other jobs to do, the main task was to help Mal Adams on his fund-raising missions. To date, they had managed to divest the contents of two security vehicles and turned over a couple of jewellery shops but took only the cash. It had been relatively easy because security was lax due to some complacency on the part of their security services. He knew that would not last.
Alan moved swiftly through the tunnel from Goodge Street, south, towards Tottenham Court Road where he met up with what used to be the Central Line and turned left towards Holborn. A new access into the old Museum Station had been established. The entrance was cleverly disguised and could be easily missed but not to those who helped build it. He was early so took the time to wander amongst the array of stores and equipment. Alan ambled amongst the boxes and shelves of weapons. He marvelled at the range of Glock and Heckler Koch pistols, packs of ammunition, explosives and along one wall, he saw a mass of medical equipment. ‘John certainly expects casualties at some point’ he thought.
John’s voice startled him, ‘impressive, don’t you think Alan?’ John was accompanied by a young nurse. He introduced her as Janice and said ‘I’ve asked Janice to spend some time with you Alan to try and improve the situation with your hands. She is a trained physiotherapist and I believe she can help you. Is that Ok?’
Alan hesitated for a moment; he was reluctant to admit any shortcomings in his physical abilities. ‘I appreciate the offer Sir, but I’m not sure I need any specialist help.’
John picked up one of the heavier machine pistols and threw it to Alan for him to catch. He was surprised, but his reflexes were good and he caught the weapon. John then tossed a magazine to Alan, who again reacted perfectly. ‘Now load it and put the safety catch on my friend.’
Alan’s crippled hands just couldn’t do what he wanted them to do quickly enough. He fumbled and was unable to put the gun to safe.
John stopped him, ‘leave it, Alan, I knew you would have a problem and that’s why I want Janice to help you. Not too far into the future, you are going to need your hands to function a lot better than they do now. I have an important role for you in this organisation and I need you to be fit. He walked over to Alan who looked rather dejected and put his arm around his shoulder. ‘You are a good soldier Alan, you have proved that ever since you came out of the Conpen, don’t let pride stop you from being even better. Janice will discuss a programme with you, do we have a deal?’
Alan had recovered his composure from what was for him an embarrassing experience, ‘Yes, of course, Sir, I want nothing more than to be fully operational.’
‘Good, then I shall leave you in Janice’s capable hands. I want you ready in 3 months Alan.’ John left the store to meet with Graham Johns, his friend and police contact.
Janice gently took hold of Alan’s hands and started to remove the makeshift gloves he was wearing. She could see the pain in his face ‘I’ll try not to hurt you too much Alan, but I need to see your hands so that I can do something with them.’
‘That’s Ok nurse, I’ve had rougher treatment than this, believe me.’
She smiled and said, ‘You can call me Janice.’
‘Ok, Janice, nice to meet you. John is quite a guy isn’t he?’
‘Yes he is and his wife Marie is something special too. Now let’s get down to some work shall we?’ She started to massage Alan’s hands gently and she could feel where the breaks had not healed properly. His finger joints were calloused and movement was severely restricted. ‘I’m going to show you some finger and hand exercises and you must do these every day for at least thirty minutes. It doesn’t have to be half an hour in one stint, you can spread it out over the course of the day, but you must do at least one half hour. I will come and see you once a week to see how you’re getting on. Get a pair of gloves that will keep your hands warm and wear them all of the time.’ Janice proceeded with the physiotherapy on Alan’s hands and he marvelled at how gentle she was. He stared intently at her face, taking in the details, her clear skin and pale blue eyes, her perfectly shaped mouth and a very cute nose.
‘If you keep staring at me like that I shall be very embarrassed,’ she said looking at him under her eyelids without raising her head.
Alan had not realised she had noticed him looking at her. ‘I’m really sorry Janice I had no intention of making you feel uncomfortable it’s just that I’m not used to having anyone or anything...’Alan stumbled for the words, ‘beautiful in my life; most of my experiences so far have been very ugly.’
Janice blushed, ‘that’s ok Alan I understand and thank you for the compliment.’ She finished her first session with Alan’s hands. She said she would go home now to get ready for work.
‘Would you mind if I walked with you home, just to see that you’re ok and well...?’ Alan was struggling, ‘Oh hell, I haven’t been above ground as a normal person for ages and I would just like to be... normal, do you know what I mean?’
‘I think I do Alan and I would love for you to walk me home but do you think it’s safe? From what I know, you are a marked man; if the Stapo see you, you’re in deep trouble. Not to mention the grief you’ll get from John.’
‘John need not know and I’m a dab hand at keeping out of the Stapo’s clutches.’ Alan knew the risk he was taking but was desperate to feel the fresh night air on his face and more importantly to be in the company of Janice.
‘Ok, Mr Walker but promise me you will get back underground as soon as we reach my front door and I have got home. I live near Euston Station. My mum and I have a small apartment there. Do you know how far you will have to travel to get back underground?’
‘I promise’ he said. ‘I know the area well so don’t worry. I can dive down at Euston Square and then head back to my home from home at Goodge Street, no problem. Shall we then?’ Alan exaggeratedly crooked his arm for Janice to link with him. She giggled and happily took his arm. Alan was happy walking with Janice. The night air was fresh and he felt invigorated. They talked and laughed about things not related to what they were doing with John Judge. It was as though they had both found a bit of normality in their young lives. Janice leaned against Alan as they walked and all too soon for Alan they reached Janice’s apartment block, she stopped at the stairwell entrance. ‘Thank you, Alan, it’s been lovely having you walk me home, I’ve really enjoyed your company. Please hurry back now before you’re spotted.’
Alan said, ‘it’s been really good for me too Janice I hope I can see more of you...’ he stammered realising that he might be misunderstood. ‘You know what I mean... I’d like to see you more often if that’s ok.’
She threw her head back and laughed loudly. Alan held her hands and as they looked into each other’s eyes their faces were drawn together. They were about to kiss when suddenly Alan jerked his head away, ‘get into your apartmen
t now, don’t argue and don’t hesitate; move now Janice quickly before they spot you. I’ll be ok don’t worry. Go, go, now please.’
Janice leapt into the stairwell and was out of sight as the Stapo patrol came into view. She shouted ‘be careful Alan please’ as Alan walked briskly in the opposite direction to the patrol that was moving quite slowly. He had his hands in his jacket pockets as the police vehicle pulled alongside him.
‘Stop right there fella, what are you doing out at this time of night?’ One of the officers said to him as he got out of the vehicle. There were just two police officers on this patrol. Alan quickly assessed his options. One was to stay and try to bluff it out but as soon as he was questioned, he knew he would be arrested. He could make a run for it but the officer that was questioning him was armed and he probably wouldn’t get very far. Alan carried a Beretta M9 pistol inside his coat and realised this was his only viable option. He was able to reach the safety catch and quietly slipped it off. The small amount of physio he had received from Janice was undoubtedly already helpful.
‘Just took my girlfriend home officer’ Alan said.
The officer behind the wheel shouted to his colleague, ‘come on Arthur, we’re supposed to be finishing for the night; we don’t need to get involved with this toe-rag. You know it’ll add hours to our shift if we have to take him in.’
‘Yes, I know’ he replied ‘but I’m not sure I like the look of this one.’ He stepped forward and grabbed Alan by his shirt pushing him up against the wall very roughly. ‘I might not be arresting you shithead, but I think I might just give a good hiding just in case you have done something you shouldn’t have.’ He raised his fist to strike Alan when a shot burst through his jacket into the policeman’s gut. There was a look of terror in the officer’s face as he fell to the ground.
The officer sat behind the wheel on the right-hand side of the vehicle hadn’t seen what had happened. ‘What the hell are you doing Arthur you haven’t gone and shot...?’ He stopped abruptly as Alan quickly released two rounds striking the driver in the head and chest. He collected both weapons from the dead officers to take back to the underground. Alan could not afford to risk the first policeman surviving so he reluctantly made sure he would not be before he ran away from the scene. It made him sick to know he had killed two people even though one of them was about to beat him up just for the hell of it. What was at least a saving grace was that he did what he had to do to save himself and possibly the operation John had so meticulously put together. Even after he got underground, he ran as though he was being chased and never stopped until he reached the safety of Goodge Street.
John watched the early TV news bulletin announcing the “cold-blooded murder of two of our law enforcement officers”. He was extremely baffled firstly because he was not aware of any planned action last night and secondly because only two policemen on a patrol was not a target worth having. Finally, disappointment equally matched his puzzlement on the news that the officers were shot and killed. That didn’t sound like anything he would have countenanced. He had always advocated the removal of weapons with the minimum use of force. Although he knew that would not always be possible or even desirable. ‘What the hell is going on? He thought. He needed to find out.
Terry answered his secure radio ‘I have no idea boss; it appears that we might have a renegade action from within the ranks.’
‘Seems that way. I’ve got some time off, where are you now and what are your commitments today?’ John asked.
‘I’m free also and I’m near Oxford Circus.’
‘Ok, meet me at Goodge Street in one hour. The main body based there are working in the western sector with Paul Cobb so it will be quiet. We can try and figure this one out’ John was the first to arrive at the agreed meeting point. He immediately noticed Alan, who was alone and sat in a hunched position. The young man never looked up as John approached. He sat down next to him. Alan still did not acknowledge John’s presence. ‘It was you who attacked the Stapo last night wasn’t it?’ John said quietly.
Alan slowly raised his head; he had obviously been crying a lot. His eyes were red and his face tear stained. He looked desolately at John, ‘I’m so sorry John I honestly didn’t mean for it to happen. I am so sorry.’ He started to cry again.
‘Alan, we will all make mistakes as we make this journey and we have already made some in getting this far, the only thing that is important is that we learn from them. Now tell me what happened and we’ll go from there.’
Terry arrived and quickly realised the situation. He acknowledged John with a knowing look and let Alan give his account of what happened.
‘Alan, given the circumstances I believe you had no choice and I think you acted courageously. It is highly likely that the Stapo would have been forced to arrest you and take you in. Of more concern to me is the matter of you risking your capture above ground and more importantly the safety of Nurse Janice. We are very fortunate that we have you both here unharmed. I want you to promise me that you will never venture out alone on another unscheduled trip again.’
‘I promise John, it was stupid of me and I guarantee it will never happen again. I’m so, so sorry boss.’ Alan broke down again; he was shaking his head in anguish ‘I can’t get the sight of those two guys I killed out of my head. Why does it have to be like this?’ He sobbed
‘You can stop bloody well feeling sorry for yourself right now young man. Do you think that they are the last people you will kill? Do you think you won’t smell death again? Well let me make this clear son, you will stink from the stench of death before we are finished. So start getting used to it right now. Do you understand me?’
Alan slowly nodded his head.
John stood up and shouted ‘do you understand me, soldier?’
Alan sprang to his feet ‘yes Sir I understand.’
‘Good.’ John paused, ‘I will ask Janice to come here this evening to keep you company. She will be extremely worried about whether you got away unscathed. Remember she puts herself at risk every time she comes underground; do not increase that risk to her. In fact, I am making you personally responsible for her safety. Now, get yourself some rest because we have some big projects to complete soon. And Alan, the fact that you feel the way you do about taking someone’s life makes you different to those we’re fighting. So don’t ever lose that capacity to feel; just don’t let it cloud your judgement.’
John and Terry turned away and headed due south towards Leicester Square. ‘Let’s keep a close watch on him Terry, for the next few weeks at least. He’s a good man, but he will not have the experience to handle the emotions he’s facing right now.’
The two men walked quietly out of the concealed entrance leading from Leicester Square station into the bright sunlight.
That evening Janice worked late on the ward in the Middlesex Hospital. She received a message from John asking her to meet with Alan. She was relieved to hear that he was unharmed. Hearing the gunshots during the incident the night before, Janice had feared the worst. John hadn’t said much, but she understood that Alan was a bit shaken. Fortunately, the hospital was just a stone’s throw away from Alan at Goodge Street station. She reached the concealed entrance to the station. Sliding the panel to one side and making sure she was unobserved, she slipped through the gap. Janice replaced the entrance panel and started the long journey down into the depths of the underground tunnel.
Janice saw Alan sleeping on one of the bunk beds. She quietly sat beside him not wishing to disturb his sleep and gently brushed his hair away from his forehead. She had become very fond of Alan and sensed that he felt the same way. He stirred and sat up abruptly, ‘what...’ he said still half asleep. ‘It’s ok Alan, it’s only me. Just thought I’d sit with you a while.’
Alan threw his arms around her and held her close to him. ‘I’m so glad you’ve come, you’re a sight for sore eyes.’
‘Yes, your eyes do look a bit sore, want to talk to me about it?’
?
??Do you mind if we walk through to the British Museum station, there’ll be no one there and I don’t want to be here when the others get back?’
‘No of course not, let’s go.’
They briskly walked the short distance to the virtually unknown station. On arrival, Alan checked that it was clear and turned on some localised lighting. They sat amongst the stores of weapons and medical equipment on a makeshift bed and Janice waited for Alan to start talking. There was a long period of silence before Alan began. ‘I guess you know that I killed two policemen last night?’
‘Yes Alan, I gathered as much.’
‘I’m really struggling with how I feel about it. I sometimes feel elated that I was able to escape; I stopped them from using their power against innocent people. The way this guy came to me was incredible. I truly believe he would have beaten me to a pulp and left me for dead. And for what, I had done nothing wrong. So, on the one hand, I’m really glad he won’t do that again. Yet, I feel so bad about being responsible for their death and particularly the other one, the driver.’
Janice sat and listened intently gently holding his hands.
‘I got a proper telling off from John and he’s right. I have to get used to being responsible for taking lives because I know this battle is going to get a lot more bloody before it’s over. If I don’t take that view, then it may be the ones I care about who are killed. Having a just cause doesn’t make it easy.’
Janice spoke, ‘Alan, I don’t like the killing any more than you do, but I also know that you’re a brave and good man. We must believe that good will eventually come from all this. I was asked to go with Marie Judge to help some old people who he had met in Jubilee Gardens and I saw where not doing anything would lead. I saw that an elderly man had just given up and died. His friends and neighbours were afraid, cold and hungry. They will all die long before their time if we take the moral high ground and refuse to fight. So, you must not reproach yourself, Alan, you are our future and I’m proud of you.’
Alan cupped Janice’s face between his hands and gently kissed her. It was a kiss full of love and Janice reciprocated. They were both lost in the moment and for a short time the young couple felt peace and joy and complete release from all of their anxieties.
‘I need to leave now, my mother will be wondering why I haven’t returned from work.’ Janice didn’t really want to leave, she felt so good in Alan’s company, but she couldn’t risk her mother phoning the hospital and being told that she had left hours earlier.
‘Let me walk with you back up to Goodge Street upper level and then escort you onwards to Euston. I promise I won’t come above ground with you.’
‘Thank you, Alan that will be nice.’
They walked the whole way holding hands and as they reached Janice’s exit point, they arranged to meet again apart from the treatment sessions already arranged.