Dane had beaten that though and after the band had left the Production Annex they’d hit the road again, this time venturing into France, Holland and Germany and for that they required a decent tour manager. The band hadn’t hesitated to ask Trudie for Dane, should he want the task.
Repositioned behind his desk in New York, Dane hadn’t realised how much he hated his old job and couldn’t believe his luck when The USed Wonz requested he took the next flight from JFK Airport.
The band’s personal summons gave him new confidence. And he’d re-immersed himself into the role and the band’s daily workouts where he’d toughened up.
‘You alright mate?’ Dane said glancing up from his magazine.
Even his tone of voice resonated impressively, Johnny thought. ‘Will be, so long as the pilot gets us down safely.’
Dane smiled and, as if dismissing such an unlikely event, returned to his reading.
Johnny would be fine. He had Mazz to his left and Grace to his right.
Before Johnny faced front, Dane turned the page of his magazine. Johnny glimpsed something that distracted his advancing apprehension. A feminine hand lay on his thigh.
Privately Johnny said to Mazz, ‘Dane and Christine?’
‘Who’d have thought eh?’
‘How did that happen?’
‘I’m not sure it has yet.’
‘She won’t chase him off like she did with Howie will she?’ he asked remembering their previous tour manager.
‘I doubt it. Dane’s not Howie and they’re taking it slow. Plus I won’t be joining in; no thank you.’
Facing forwards Johnny felt sorry for himself. To his right Grace held hands with Raphael. Further forward Stu had found comradeship with the other two Little Spiriters.
Mazz soon helped his funk and tended his feelings through the decent.
* * *
Twenty minutes later at 2pm Pacific Time, Johnny held Mazz’s hand and his breath as the wheels touched down.
‘LA, we’re home safe,’ Mazz said.
* * *
By the time they reached their hotel Johnny felt something akin to rejection and missed his usual endorphin rush. Standing in line with the others he checked in.
‘Ah, Mr Won,’ the lady at reception said. ‘A message for you, from a Linda Lake?’
‘What message?’
‘It just says to call her.’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘In the city five minutes and you have a date?’
‘It won’t be a date. I’m lucky we’re talking.’
‘Well there’s a phone you can use over there.’ She changed a dollar for him and pointed towards the foyer.
He dialled. A voice he didn’t recognise picked up and stumbled through the greeting.
‘Who’s that?’ Johnny asked trying to appear nonchalant when Linda took over.
‘New girl, Steph,’ Linda said.
Johnny detected slight disappointment in her tone. ‘You okay?’
‘I wanted to say, welcome home, but I kinda missed it now you’ve asked about the new girl.’
He thought how nice it’d have if she’d said it face-to-face at LAX.
‘Johnny, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to meet you at the airport, Fiona was running errands. But I’d like to make it up to you.’
‘Oh?’
‘Have you made plans for tonight; first night back?’
‘Well—’
‘It’s just that, it’d be lovely to see you.’
‘We were planning to show Little Spirit LA.’
‘Oh, of course.’ She didn’t say more.
‘Linda,’ he said, ‘I can’t wait to see you.’
‘Really?’
‘Really, I’ve thought of nothing but you since leaving LA.’
She laughed. ‘I know that’s not true.’
Though Johnny hadn’t mentioned anything about Frank he nevertheless toned it down. ‘Well, how about you pick me up and I’ll treat you to dinner?’
‘No.’
‘No?’
‘Dinner’s my treat. Then you, or perhaps we, can meet the others.’
‘Okay deal.’
* * *
Three hours later the bandmates had ventured into LA leaving Johnny standing in the hotel’s lobby. He would have sat but felt he looked better, more prepared, standing. Eventually he tired of looking at the entrance and guests appearing to check in and so read the leaflets on reception.
‘Johnny?’
He turned round. His jaw dropped and mouth salivated.
There she stood.
‘Linda.’
She moved towards him but he held a hand up.
‘I’m not done looking at you.’
Somehow he always managed to forget the extent of her beauty whenever they spent time apart. But on this occasion she’d made a supreme effort. The dress looked almost the same as Linah’s, his ex-teacher’s; only Linda’s looked classier.
Everything about her looked perfect, especially the legs that the dress showed off and especially her hair, pinned up with a few dangly bits and especially the sultry makeup and especially the high heels and especially her lips and especially …
‘How the hell d’you expect me to get through tonight with you looking like that?’
‘Why, thank you,’ she said accepting his compliment.
But, his question had been serious.
Once in her car she explained she knew of two restaurants she wanted to try; one Italian, one Lebanese. Johnny suggested Italian.
‘I was hoping you’d say Lebanese,’ she said starting the car.
‘Okay, let’s do that.’
‘You’ve said Italian now.’
She put the Lotus into first and into the traffic. Johnny watched her leg raise then press the clutch for second gear. He groaned.
‘What’s up?’
‘Honestly Linda, you know how badly I fancy you. What were you thinking choosing a slashed dress?’
She gave him a brief look.
‘Were you thinking of me at all?’
She patted his new leather pants. ‘I was actually.’
Johnny looked at her but, negotiating traffic, Linda didn’t say more.
* * *
In the Italian, Linda order a glass of white wine; Johnny a sparkling water.
They both sat back in their chairs eyeing each other over the table. A single candle illuminated their faces.
‘I want you,’ Johnny said.
Linda held his gaze.
‘But,’ he said, ‘so does every man in here.’
Linda didn’t move or speak.
‘So, what am I supposed to do about that?’ he asked.
She broke eye-contact and took a long sip of wine. ‘You could kiss me.’
Johnny’s eyes narrowed. ‘You don’t want me to; you’ve made that clear.’
‘You could do it anyway.’
‘Not my style.’
‘Maybe you should review your style.’
Johnny considered his position. ‘What the hell are you on about – would you like me to kiss you?’
‘Honestly?’
He narrowed his eyes. ‘Of course, honestly.’
‘I don’t know.’
‘That’s what I thought.’ He grabbed his water. The slightest shake of her head had spoken volumes.
‘But I think I love you; in other ways.’
‘What ways?’ Johnny felt frustration building. The waiter took their order. Neither had looked at the menu so Linda asked for whatever the chef recommended.
‘What ways?’ Johnny repeated.
‘I don’t know. I want you in my life. I miss you when you’re not around. But your feelings for me are lust driven and—’
‘I like you as a person too. I’ve got more respect than those other creeps you were with.’
‘Let’s not mention them.’
He nodded. Linda sounded clear on that point; like he wanted to talk about them anyway.
‘Trudie,’ Linda said.
&nb
sp; ‘Where would either of us be without her?’
‘I know,’ Linda said getting off the point. ‘My business has U-turned since she got that promotion.’
‘That’s great,’ Johnny said leaning forward to touch her hand.
Back on track Linda explained Trudie’s theory that all they needed to know about each other’s true feelings could be found in a kiss.
Johnny thought back to the last time he’d seen Linda. ‘You shouted that from the office window didn’t you?’
‘Yes.’
‘So you thought I’d come back and kiss you?’
‘I don’t know. I didn’t want you to leave.’ She looked down.
Johnny wondered whether she could have been serious when she said she loved him, if only in other ways.
He stood up from his chair and approached her.
Touching her chin he lifted her face to his. Her lips parted and his heart thumped. Moving closer he reached the familiar point – where desire takes hold of the motor system; where kissing becomes inevitable.
But, right on the cusp he pulled away.
He sat down.
‘You moved?’ she said.
He glanced at her. His back had been bent. He’d felt awkward; not like a man worthy of Linda Lake.
‘We’ve come this far,’ he said. ‘You owe me one kiss.’
‘I’m paying for dinner.’
‘You owe me. You know how I feel about you. You put that dress on and those heels. You knew what effect that would have on me. You owe me a kiss.’
Her expression looked suitably rebuked.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘One kiss. When?’
‘I decide.’
Neither spoke.
Linda had been ready – for the kiss. Unbeknownst to Johnny she did want to kiss him. Being single again had opened her mind to kissing him and she’d been thinking about it more and more. She just didn’t know how she’d feel when it happened and the idea frightened her.
Did he really love her? Could he love her as she loved him?
The moment, letting him as close as she had, had been powerful but now she worried they had nothing else to say. Johnny seemed happy enough staring at her.
She realised they’d never spent time together since London.
Johnny’s determined stare penetrated her. She found her resistance wavering; intimidated and excited by the clarity of his prevailing want of her.
Thankfully their meals arrived forcing them to choose who had what. Johnny took the steak, leaving her the carbonara.
Lack of conversation ceased being a problem when Johnny mentioned his brother and the history he’d kept swallowed so long.
Linda lost count how many times she said, ‘Dear God.’
Johnny watched her reaction. Though he’d never admit what had happened at the top of the stairs that terrible night, the details he shared appeared suitably affective. But he wondered how.
Though his story endeared him to her he needed to appeal to Linda’s animalistic nature not her desire to mother him as Christine had disclosed.
‘Dear God,’ Linda said again when he told her how he’d reclaimed his coat after Shaun and his two mates had stolen it years previously.’
‘I’m not going on if you keep saying that.’
He expected her to laugh. She pushed her plate to one side.
‘You haven’t finished,’ he said.
‘It was delicious but it’s cold now.’
‘Sorry, I should have kept conversation light; told you about the two videos we shot.’
‘Trudie’s flying in tomorrow, she said she’d bring them with her.’
‘They’re edited?’
‘Yes, but Johnny listen to me. I never want you to feel like you’ve nowhere to come home to.’
She took his fork from him and held his hand. He looked at her face and though he tried not to, he burst into a smile.
She snatched her hand back and turned her face.
He stopped laughing and gave her a second. ‘Yeah, I still fancy you from the side.’
Twisting from the table she crossed her legs away from him.
‘I can see your legs.’
Sighing she turned back, shuffled forwards and banged her elbows on the table. ‘I’ve just said something really important.’
‘I get that, but what you gonna do; tell me I’m always welcome to lie in your spare room?’ He touched her cheek, ‘While you’re lying next door?’
She covered his hand with hers, holding it to her cheek.
He said, ‘Maybe I shouldn’t tell you sad stories.’
‘Maybe we should try that kiss,’ she said looking in his eyes.
Sitting back again he said, ‘I decide when.’
Her expression floundered. ‘You ready to go?’
‘Not without pudding.’
* * *
They headed onto the street after coffee and shared crostata di fichi e pere, or pear tart as Johnny had called it.
‘You wanna find your friends?’ Linda asked.
‘Do you?’
‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘But, not tonight.’
Good answer, Johnny thought. ‘A bar?’
‘You?’
‘Not sure. Could you take us somewhere with a view?’
‘Car’s this way. We could drive up to the hills.’
‘Where you’ve been cooped up in the backseat with hundreds of other boyfriends? No ta.’
‘Missed all that I’m afraid. Raised in South Carolina remember? I’d grown up by the time I arrived here,’ she smiled.
Johnny smiled too. She hadn’t objected to the suggestion of him being her boyfriend. Subtle, but a step closer. ‘You’re grown up but you’d take me there?’
‘It’s getting chilly.’
‘I’ll warm you up.’
They arrived at her car. She popped the trunk and retrieved a fake fur jacket. Johnny made his way to the passenger side.
‘Go on then,’ she said.
‘What, me warm you up?’
‘Catch.’
He caught the keys she threw and realised he’d come to the driver’s side. ‘You sure?’
He didn’t wait for the answer but rounded the car, unlocked and held the passenger door for her.
Grabbing a handful of skirt she said, ‘No peeking.’
‘Nope, ogling all the way,’ he said as she slide into the low seat.
* * *
Behind the wheel, he could have driven the Lotus forever as Linda directed him through the traffic’s flow.
Shortly Johnny sped along Hollywood Freeway beneath Griffiths Park and beyond the Hollywood sign.
Too soon the pair turned onto Mulholland Drive, amongst the hills’ trees and began looking for vantage points.
‘This’ll do,’ Linda said indicating a dusty area to pull over.
‘Looks like a good place to practice handbrake turns.’
‘Not in my car mister.’
With exaggerated slowness, he brought the car to a standstill.
Outside Johnny looked over miles of city. ‘Now that’s a view.’
Linda joined him by his side.
‘Correction,’ he said looking her up and down, ‘that’s a view.’ He glanced at her heels. ‘You fancy a slow walk?’
She linked an arm through his and they set off along a path searching the best views.
‘I meant it earlier,’ she said, ‘about wanting you to always feel like you’ve a home.’
This time he didn’t laugh. ‘I’m sorry I upset you.’
‘It’s fine, you made a good point. But, I’ve done one thing about it.’
‘Oh?’
‘I’ve got you a present.’
He stopped walking. ‘You got me a present?’
‘Yeah, it’s a bit silly really but you’re sure to like it. There’s just one problem.’
‘Oh?’
‘You can’t take it on tour with you so it’ll have to stay at my apartment for now,’ she said.
Johnny’s expression grew inquisitive.
Linda laughed. ‘I’m so excited about it but it means you’ll always have to come back to me to see it.’
‘What is it?’
‘Not telling. I’m looking forward to seeing your face when you see it.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘You can thank me when you see it,’ she said then looked across the vista, adding, ‘if we’re still talking.’
‘You think we’re heading for a fallout?’
She pulled her jacket tighter. ‘I hope not. I suppose it’s up to you.’
‘Takes two to tango.’
‘What if I’m waltzing?’
‘What are we talking about exactly?’
‘The kiss Johnny. When it happens I’m asking you to respect how I feel about it. If your kiss is tango and mine’s waltz I want you to realise that, just as I’ll be sensitive to your feelings.’
He looked away. They’d stopped having rounded a corner where the view had become more expansive. Out of sight of streetlights the stars shone brighter.
‘I get that. And I know that I can’t force your feelings to change.’
‘But that scares me, I don’t want to lose you.’
Because you want to look after me; you want to feel needed, he thought not realising she feared feeling too much for him. ‘You look cold, wanna head back?’
An idea had popped into his mind. Finally he had something to work with – the same thing he thought might be working against him.
Before they reached the car Johnny stepped out.
‘What you up to?’ Linda said.
He sat on her car’s bonnet and, loosening a few shirt buttons. He shut his eyes and rubbed his shoulder.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Left shoulder aches when it gets cold.’
Through closed eyes he could hear Linda’s approaching footsteps. He held out a hand. She touched it.
He guided her to the shoulder that suffered an inconsequential ache in the night’s chill.
Pushing her fingers over muscle, he correctly guessed her reaction as her fingertips connected with gnarled scar tissue.
‘Your warmth feels lovely,’ he said pulling his shirt from his waistband. He could hear her breathing.
If she wants to love you, let her love you, he told himself fighting the urge to open his eyes.
He took her left hand and guided it under his shirt and round his back. Her fingertips walked the topography of ripped skin.
‘Let me see,’ she said.
He didn’t say anything but a heartbeat later her fingers finished unbuttoning him.
‘Turn around,’ she told him.
Rising to full height he turned. She pulled the shirt from his shoulders. Linda’s hands found their way over his back.