God, she is so bad at this. It’s almost embarrassing. I need to stop her from digging herself a deeper hole, so I release the sigh I’m holding and fix my attention back on Dave. “I chose to go,” I admit nonchalantly. I shrug at him, narrowing my eyes. When I talk to Dave, I am talking to him as Tyler Bruce. It’s second nature. “What are you gonna do? Ground my ass for another five years?”
Dave eyeballs us both as his nostrils flare. Eden is still dramatically sobbing next to me and Mom watches silently from the couch. She’ll be mad at me too, but it seems today, she is choosing to just stay quiet. Maybe she feels as though she’s yelled at me enough for one week.
“Where have you been all night?” Dave questions, seemingly letting my remarks slide.
“We all crashed at Dean’s place,” I answer before Eden can. I don’t want her babbling more lame excuses. At least mine are believable. “Just chill out. It’s summer.”
“Oh,” Dave says as his eyes widen. He blinks fast for dramatic effect and gives us a smile full of sarcasm. “My bad. I forgot that it’s summer, so that means you can do whatever the hell you want. Sincerest apologies.” In the background, Jamie is snickering. Dave exhales, shaking his head as his scowl returns. “This isn’t the first time you haven’t come home, Eden.”
“It’s just sleepovers,” Eden innocently mumbles.
“That’s not the point!” he yells.
“Then what is?” she fires back at him.
Dave can’t answer her. He only glares at her, his lips moving as though he’s trying to find the words to reply, the veins in his forehead popping. He looks at me instead. “You’re impossible, so I’m not even going to say anything. Just go upstairs. Get out of here.” He shoots Jamie a look too, one that probably asks for privacy, because Jamie gets to his feet.
“Fine by me,” I say casually. I don’t need Dave yelling at me anyway. Eden is looking at me, her features still tight with worry, and I give her a reassuring smile. She’ll be okay. If she can handle me, then she can definitely handle her dad. As Jamie crosses the living room, I throw my arm around his shoulders and leave the room with him. “How’s that wrist, kid?”
“Broken,” Jamie deadpans, and I laugh as we head upstairs together. I would have answered the exact same way when I was younger. “Can you stop staying out all night? Mom hates it. We don’t know if you’re alive or dead.”
I frown. Sometimes I forget that at the end of the day, I am only seventeen. All of this disappearing will send Mom into a mental breakdown eventually. She is staying strong for now, but I hate that I test her patience so much. “I know she does,” I say with a sigh, then give Jamie a tight smile as I squeeze his shoulder. I wish I could do better. I wish I could offer them more.
Jamie disappears into his room and slams the door behind him with just enough aggression to get the memo across that even he is growing frustrated with me. My fourteen-year-old fucking brother. Why do I keep doing this to them?
“I’m sorry,” I say out loud in the hall, but there is no one around to hear my apologies.
With my head low, I make my way into my own room and collapse down onto my bed. Even though I didn’t drink much at all last night, I can feel a pounding headache beginning to form. I check my phone, but the battery is dead. I hook it up to charge and then get to my feet, pulling off my shirt and throwing it to one side as I head into my bathroom. I feel as though I need to shower all over again. I feel . . . I don’t know. Guilty, I guess. Last night was wrong and for more than just one reason.
I step out of my jeans and turn on the water, letting it cascade over me, burning my skin. I squeeze my eyes shut and rest my forehead against the wall, breathing in the steam. So many different thoughts are racing through my head, and I try to gather them, to put them into some sort of order, but everything is just so complicated. I need to get my shit together. All the drinking isn’t even worth the few hours of distraction it gives me. The drugs are ruining my life. Declan Portwood and his crew aren’t the kind of people I should be surrounded by. I don’t want to keep on letting Mom down every single day, and I want to be there for my brothers. I don’t have the energy to keep on dealing with Tiffani, to maintain such a bullshit relationship. What am I really doing wasting my time with her? She could ruin my life, I know that, but I think I might just be willing to accept that if it means I can end things for good.
And Eden . . . I would do anything for her. She’s the first girl I’ve ever found myself thinking seriously about, the first girl I’ve ever been myself around, the first girl I’ve ever fallen in love with. I’m not throwing what I have with Eden away. I’m not ruining this like how I’ve ruined everything else.
It’s Monday tomorrow. A new week, a clean slate. I’m going to fix everything.
I sit on the floor of the shower for half an hour, the water pouring over my face, washing away all of the negativity in my life, and when I finally get up and switch it off, I feel rejuvenated. Hopeful. Optimistic.
I am going to do better.
I pull on a fresh pair of jeans, dry my hair with a towel, and am just slipping a clean shirt over my head when I hear footsteps racing upstairs. I expect it to be Mom, or maybe even Eden, but it is neither of them. My bedroom door bursts open at its hinges as Tiffani storms into my room. Does no one ever actually check to see who’s at the front door in this house? It seems like Tiffani is forever letting herself in.
“You,” she spits. There is a storm forming in her blue eyes as she marches across the room toward me and slams her shoulder into my bicep, pushing me out of her way. She’s only wearing sweatpants and a tank top. Her hair in a ponytail. No makeup. It’s rare for me to see her like this, and I get the immediate sense that something is really, really wrong. She’s pissed.
“If this is about me disappearing last night . . .” I say as I watch her cross my room and peer into my bathroom. “I didn’t do anything stupid, Tiff. I left, actually. I didn’t want to be there after last year.”
“Your bed is made,” Tiffani points out, nodding behind me as she comes to a standstill directly in front of me. She places her hands on her hips and presses her lips together. “When have you ever made your bed? You didn’t come home last night. Where is she?”
“What? Where’s who?” I splutter, blinking fast. What the hell is going on?
Tiffani has already swiveled around, though, striding back out of my room. I’m quick to follow her, desperately chasing her into the hall as she pushes open the door to Eden’s room now instead. My heartbeat rockets. Is she . . . Is she looking for Eden?
“Tiffani,” I say, following her into Eden’s room. She isn’t even here, and Tiffani wildly circles the room in aggravation before she pushes her way past me again and back out into the hall. I reach for her elbow, trying to pull her back so that she can explain to me what the hell she is doing and why she is here, but she suddenly tenses up.
“Oh, here she is,” she announces with bitter satisfaction as she shakes my hand off her arm. “You’re just in time.”
I look up over Tiffani’s shoulder and my face immediately pales when I see Eden paused on the staircase, staring back at us with wide eyes full of confusion. She’s in her workout gear, and it looks like she’s just got back from a run. She is still breathing heavily, and I shake my head slowly at her as I run a hand through my hair. It is Eden that Tiffani is searching for.
“In time for what?” Eden asks, glancing warily between Tiffani’s outraged expression and my panicked gaze. There’s no way . . . There’s no way Tiffani knows what went down last night. But then why is she here?
“I need to talk to you both, because in case you can’t tell, I am pissed the hell off,” Tiffani says, and she spins around to face me. She holds up a clenched fist, her knuckles trembling from the pressure. “I am this close to punching you in the face, Tyler.”
“What have I done this time?” I ask, feigning innocence. I already know that it’s useless, and I already know that Tiffani will swing a
t me if she gets angry enough, so I step away from her. Better to be safe than sorry.
“What have you done? Are you seriously asking?” she says in disbelief, her mouth open. She looks younger without all the makeup, but right now, I think she might just be the most furious I have ever seen her. She inhales deeply, keeping her cool, and then firmly orders, “Backyard. Now.”
She turns away from me, shoving Eden to one side and against the wall as she pushes her way downstairs. Eden narrows her eyes after her, then flashes her gaze back to me, searching for an explanation. And honestly, all I know is that this isn’t going to be pretty.
“Fuck,” I mouth, burying my face into my hands. I am praying with absolutely everything in me that Tiffani hasn’t figured out the truth, that she isn’t here to confront me about my relationship with Eden.
Tiffani has paused at the foot of the stairs to look back up at us both. “I can talk to you both outside or I can talk to you right here,” she says slowly, placing a hand back on her hip as she casts a quick glance toward the living room. Our parents are in there. She lowers her voice, adding, “And trust me, I think you’d rather I spoke to you outside.”
She definitely knows what’s going on. There is no hiding from this, no denying it. We have no choice but to face Tiffani and the consequences. There is a lump forming in my throat as I reluctantly begin to move, guiding Eden downstairs in front of me as we follow in Tiffani’s path down the hall, through the kitchen, and outside into the backyard.
The sun is bright and blinding, and the tense silence between us all is almost unbearable. Eden looks terrified, and I think she may have realized what’s going on too. We both know that we’ve been caught, and that it is far too late to do anything about it.
“Soooooooo,” Tiffani says. She is facing us both, but she remains several feet away.
“So . . .” I echo. I’m surprised I can even speak. My throat is so dry, and I’m just waiting for Tiffani to lay the truth out in front of us.
“So I woke up to a text from TJ this morning,” she begins, keeping her voice clear and slow. Her fierce eyes are flickering between Eden and me, most likely waiting for one of us to crack. “And you know, I’m getting real sick of other people talking to me about us hooking up, Tyler, because half the fucking time it’s not even me.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, pulling a face. It’s another pathetic attempt at digging my way out of this, but I’m only wasting my breath. Tiffani’s glare sharpens as she locks her eyes on me, and from beside me, even Eden is looking at me in disbelief as though she can’t believe I’m even trying to deny it.
“Don’t start, Tyler. Just don’t,” Tiffani hisses at me, giving me a small shake of her head. Her tone is changing. It’s growing harsher, angrier, and her words are becoming faster and ragged. “He made a joke about us hooking up last night, because his room was a total mess, and we both know perfectly fine that it wasn’t me.”
It’s almost a reflex at this point to automatically begin conjuring up excuses for my wrongdoings, and although I know that it is pointless, I can’t help but try. “Look, baby, I didn’t hook up with anyone,” I say quickly, lowering my voice, trying to sound gentle as I step toward her. “I just forgot to tidy the place up after—”
“Shut UP!” Tiffani screams at me, and it instantly silences me. She’s losing it now, and when Tiffani loses her temper, she is unpredictable. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath. When she opens them again, her gaze is almost calm, like she is back in control. She angles toward Eden as her mouth forms a cruel smirk. “Eden, didn’t you want your shoes?”
The color drains from Eden’s face and she parts her lips, searching for words that never arrive. She doesn’t know what to say, and neither do I. We’re so screwed. Eventually, she manages to whisper, “How did you—”
“Because TJ asked if I’d had a good night and then said I’d left behind my Converse,” Tiffani cuts in sharply. The roughness to her voice is back again, and so is the fire in her blue eyes. “Asked me what the words written on them meant. I sure as hell remember you waving yours around the entire night. The ones with the lyrics on them, right?” She cocks her head to one side, her glare almost threatening. “By the way, you’re not getting those back. I told him I didn’t want them and asked him to toss them in the trash for me.”
“But Tyler’s my—” Eden tries, but her attempts at denial are as useless as mine were.
“Stepbrother?” Tiffani finishes. She is so angry now that tears are welling in her eyes, and she wipes them away, placing her hands on her hips. “Yeah, I know. I just spent the past half hour arguing with myself. I was like, ‘No way, they’re totally related.’ But I’ve watched Clueless before, okay? You know, when Cher falls for her stepbrother? I’m not STUPID.”
So, this is it. Tiffani really does know the truth.
We should have been more careful. I should have kept my distance from Eden until I cleared up this mess with Tiffani. I’ve betrayed her, I’ve been selfish, and as much as I can’t stand Tiffani, I know that this has hurt her. I can see the fury in her eyes, but I can also see the pain. She isn’t fighting back her tears now. But did she care when she was controlling my life for the past three years? Did she even care that I didn’t want to be with her anyway?
Maybe this is the end of us. I didn’t want it to happen like this, but if this is what it takes to finally have Tiffani let go, then I’ll take it. She can’t be with someone who has gone behind her back like this. She can’t be with someone who has cheated on her. We are both better off without one another, and I hope she sees that now.
I glance sideways at Eden, but she is paralyzed. She is staring at Tiffani with wide eyes, barely blinking, her face still white. She is terrified, and I wish I could reach over and take her hand in mine so that she knows I’m here, that we’re in this together, that everything will be okay.
“You didn’t really hook up with Jake, did you, Eden?” Tiffani asks weakly, breaking the silence.
“No,” Eden whispers. She looks down at the ground, starting to blink again now, but I think it’s only because she’s holding back tears herself. It’s okay, I’m here.
“It was you that night at the pier,” Tiffani says through her sobs. I don’t think I’ve ever really seen Tiffani cry. At least not like this. “You’re a liar.”
“I know,” Eden says, and her husky voice is cracked with guilt. “I’m a liar. I’m a bitch. I’m a terrible friend.”
This is really between Tiffani and me. My relationship with Eden would never have come to this if Tiffani had just let me go, if she hadn’t blackmailed me into staying with her. I’m not letting her confront Eden like this, not when it is only mine and Tiffani’s fault. I want her out of my life.
“You know what, Tiffani?” I say loudly, clearing my throat and stepping in between her and Eden. I narrow my eyes at the girl crying in front of me, at the girl who has controlled my every move for so long, and anger builds within me. It’s finally my turn to get my say. It’s finally time to end this all for good. “I don’t even want to be with you. I’ve wasted three years because you blackmailed me into staying with you. Do whatever you want. Tell everyone everything you know about me, because having you keep it a secret isn’t worth the effort it takes to put up with you,” I tell her, and she is staring back at me with wide, swollen eyes and her mouth slightly hung open in shock, but I don’t care. She isn’t the victim here; neither of us is. We just aren’t good together, and all we do is hurt one another. “We’re over. Sue me. Report me to the cops. I don’t care. I’m done.”
“This is all your fault!” Tiffani screams at Eden as she steps around me and throws up her hands. “I don’t even care about the fact that you’re basically siblings, which I should, because it’s disgusting, but no, the only thing I care about is that you’ve ruined everything.”
Eden, for some crazy reason or another, actually takes a step closer to her. “Tiffani, I didn’t mean for—”
/> I hold up a hand to stop her. Eden doesn’t need to apologize. She tried to convince me not to go through with this, to stay away from her unless I ended things with Tiffani, but I didn’t listen. I couldn’t stay away from her.
I set my gaze back on Tiffani and without even flinching, I firmly state, “It’s over, babe.” And man, it feels like the most satisfying thing in the world. Almost blissful. I step back and jab a finger toward the gate, ordering her to leave. There is nothing more to say.
Tiffani lets out a muffled wail and throws her hands back into her hair. “But you can’t break up with me!”
She is so pathetic, it is laughable. And I do laugh. Out loud. She needs to drop this. She needs to move on, to find someone else who she actually wants to be with for a more genuine, sincere reason. “Because I won’t be there to make you look cool? Because you won’t get to control me anymore?”
“Because I’m PREGNANT, Tyler!”
It’s like a punch in the gut, knocking the air straight out of me. The entire weight of the world crashes down on me and my chest tightens while my heart stops beating. I can’t hear a single noise. Not the passing cars out front, not even the breeze. Even my sight blurs, putting Tiffani out of focus as she buries her head in her hands and weeps even harder.
“What?” I whisper. I can barely speak. My voice is gone.
No . . . No way. This isn’t happening right now.
Tiffani begins retreating from me, backing across the yard toward the gate, her eyes never leaving mine. She is still sobbing, completely and entirely distraught.
“What’s all the screaming about?” a voice that sounds like Mom’s calls out across the yard, but it isn’t clear to me. It’s muffled, distorted. I’m not tuned into reality right now. Everything is fuzzy as I stare after Tiffani, watching her disappear in front of me.
She reaches the gate and pulls it open, but then she stops. Her pained gaze flicks away from me, and she takes a deep breath before she opens her mouth and yells, “You should know that he’s hooked on coke! And he’s started dealing too!”