the best, all knew the horrific ordeal that Tori had gone through. They also knew what Caleb had forced Ramie to suffer when he’d given her no choice but to use her psychic tracking abilities to find Tori before it was too late. As a result, they were all fiercely protective of the youngest Devereaux sibling and only sister.
Isaac sent the four men who’d hired on right before Lizzie had taken a leave of absence and gone rogue a quick look that said he’d explain it to the others later. They needed to know about Tori because they needed to treat her with extreme care and not inadvertently do anything to incite a panic attack.
Dane’s expression hardened. “Tori will know only what she needs to know. There’s no reason to cause her any more trauma than I have to. The dreams have been eating away at her night by night and right now she’s operating on fumes and sheer willpower. I’m going to make damn sure she gets the rest she needs even if I have to sedate her. Caleb coddles her too much and is too quick to believe her when she says she’s okay because he wants her to be okay. I know she’s fucking out of gas and on the verge of collapse, and I’m not going to stand by and allow her to slowly kill herself.”
His words were angry, but there was a slight shake to his voice that Isaac could remember hearing only one other time. When Gracie had burst into the DSS offices with a letter from Lizzie, who was supposed to be on vacation, that was a goodbye and admission of a suicide mission all in one. Dane had been so shaken that he hadn’t been able to stand after reading the letter and had collapsed into his chair. He looked a lot like that now, except there was grim determination in his expression.
“I want to get back to Jenna,” Isaac said. “I don’t want her waking alone. She was deeply shaken by the news footage, and at some point I’m going to have to tell her why we’re staying here and why everyone else is splitting up.”
He dragged his hand through his hair, suddenly exhausted by the weight of his worry and fear for his angel.
“We’ll rustle up something for dinner,” Zeke said in a quiet tone. “We’ll do our best to cheer her up and give her a good time. Maybe get her mind off all the shit being thrown at her just for a little while.”
“Appreciate that,” Isaac said sincerely. “We’ll be out later when I know Jenna is up to facing a room full of people.”
TWENTY-ONE
ISAAC eased into the bedroom, his eyes going to the bed where Jenna lay as he quietly closed the door behind him. Her back was turned to him and she was curled inward, her knees drawn slightly into her body. He wasn’t going to wake her yet. She needed the rest and what he needed was simply to be close to her, touching her, holding her in his arms so he could immerse himself in her beauty and light and all the worry, stress and fear could fade away just for a little while.
This was a mission unlike any he’d ever faced before, and not just because he had such a personal stake in it. Always before, no matter how dire the circumstances, even at the lowest moments when one of the wives was in extreme danger and facing seemingly impossible odds, Isaac had approached the plan, the resolution and the rescue, with calm confidence, certain of their success. He’d never doubted for a moment that Ari would be found and that the extremist group who’d abducted her would be taken out in a coordinated, methodical fashion.
When Lizzie had gone missing while on Gracie’s protection detail when Zack had abruptly left in what would later be revealed to be his mission to exact vengeance for the horrible wrong done to the woman he’d loved for half his life, Gracie had stepped up and enlisted the aid of Ramie and Ari, and though at the time, Isaac had nearly lost his damn mind when the women had showed up at the safe house where Gracie was being kept, he’d known then, as he’d known with Ari’s rescue, that they’d find Lizzie in time to save her.
But now? This was bigger than anything he’d ever dealt with in his time with DSS. The threat of the cult had been removed, much to his relief, but Jaysus had a veritable army at his disposal and allies who owed him more favors than they could possibly repay. That was the way the drug lord operated. He collected favors and when he called them in, those who owed him didn’t dare refuse to do whatever he demanded of them. He was ruthless and valued no life save his own. Every single one of his men were expendable. They gave him their absolute loyalty. He gave them absolutely nothing in return except the hope that he wouldn’t one day turn on them for no other reason than to amuse himself or prove some point only he understood.
DSS was the best at what they did. Isaac would choose to work with any one of his teammates any day of the week. He trusted them implicitly and he’d give his life for them. But they were vastly outnumbered and outgunned. Jaysus had unlimited resources and while Dane was one wealthy, crafty son of a bitch who made sure DSS was better outfitted than any security agency in the entire country, for the first time they were facing someone with more power, influence, ability to intimidate, money and weaponry.
Now when it mattered most, when the success of the most important mission of Isaac’s life was necessary to his survival, he couldn’t conjure the same absolute confidence he’d felt in all the previous missions he’d taken part in.
He stood at the edge of the bed, staring at the mass of white-blond curls in disarray over the pillows, and felt the stirrings of something that horrified him and made him question everything about the man he thought he was. Panic.
He held up his hands, staring down at them in disbelief as they shook violently. Fear knotted his stomach and his throat until he wanted to throw up to alleviate the wretched anxiety paralyzing him.
A small movement caught his attention, diverting his focus from the savage assault of emotions systematically taking him apart and rendering him useless. He frowned and leaned closer, wondering if he’d imagined the slight tremor of Jenna’s shoulders.
Fuck. He wasn’t imagining a goddamn thing. He’d thought she was asleep the whole time he was having his epic meltdown when she was curled in a protective manner, faced away from the door, crying—something she was clearly trying to hide.
Instantly he crawled on the bed and curled one arm around her waist, turning her over so she faced him. Her eyes and nose were red and swollen. Her bottom lip was ravaged from chewing on it in agitation. There were dark shadows under her eyes, giving them a hollow, bruised look, and there was such despair in her eyes that the knot in his throat threatened to cut off his air supply entirely.
“Baby, why are you crying?” he asked desperately. “What’s wrong? Are you hurting? Tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it, please,” he begged. “I can’t bear to see you so unhappy. You’re breaking my heart, honey. You have to know there is nothing I won’t do to make you smile. To make you light up for me and to make you happy. Please talk to me so I understand.”
He didn’t care that he sounded like the most desperate of men. He could feel her slipping away from him and it was the most miserable, helpless, gut-wrenching sensation in the world. Never had he felt this kind of agony and the panic he’d felt just seconds ago about being unable to protect her was nothing compared to his terror of losing her over something he didn’t know how to fight.
Jenna scooted as close to his body as she could and wrapped her arm around his waist, hugging and holding on to him tightly, the same desperation that was flooding through his veins reflected in her actions. She buried her face in his neck, her hot tears scalding his skin. Her body shuddered and her breath huffed out erratically as she seemed to try to get herself under control. She slid both hands between them and gripped handfuls of his shirt in her fingers, balling them into tight fists as if to reassure herself that he would never leave.
“You’re scaring me, baby,” he said, sounding completely unhinged. And that wasn’t far off the mark because he was fast unraveling, panic destroying the last tenuous hold he had on his composure.
“I’m scared,” she choked out. “Oh God, Isaac, what have I done? I know why they murdered every single member of the cult and I can’t bear it. I’m so terrified and I feel so helpless and selfish and I’ve gotten you all in so deep that there’s no way out. I don’t know what to do.”
Isaac took in a deep breath, knowing that she was on the very edge of a complete breakdown and he had to be strong for her. He couldn’t let her see how close he was to coming undone or it would push her that much closer to shattering.
He wrapped himself around her so that no part of her was untouched by him. He rubbed his hand up and down her back and pressed tiny kisses to the top of her head, her brow, her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, her chin and finally her lips, inhaling her breaths like he was starved for oxygen. He willed himself to call upon the reserves that had served him so well in the past and focused on slowing his heart rate and stopping the shaking that had spread rapidly through his entire body until he’d felt too weak to stand even if he wanted to.
For several long moments he focused on pouring all the love he felt for her into every touch, caress and tender kiss while commanding his body to be stoic, steady and unwavering, her rock to lean on and depend on to make everything right in her world.
When he finally won the battle for control of his rioting emotions, he leaned back just enough so he could slide his fingers beneath her chin and nudge it upward till their gazes met. He nearly flinched at the raw pain and vulnerability in her eyes, but he forced himself not to react.
He rubbed his thumb lazily over her cheek, repeating the motion not only to soothe her but because he needed this contact. Needed to be touching her because as much as he’d sworn to be her rock, her anchor, she was his source of reassurance and calm.
“What’s scaring you, honey? Talk to me. Get it out so we can deal with it and then put it away so you no longer dwell on it. You know I’ll do anything to keep you from ever being in a situation you don’t want to be in. From now on, you’re in charge of your destiny and you’re the one who’ll make decisions for yourself. Not some fucking cult. Not some crazy fucking drug lord with a God complex and not me.”
Her eyes filled with tears again and they slid hotly down her cheeks to collide with his thumb.
“Baby, talk to me,” he pleaded. “It eats me up alive to see you so scared and unhappy. I know everyone in your life has let you down until now, but I swear to you, I will never be like those people. You are the single most important person in my life. My first and only priority. There is nothing you can’t talk to me about.”
“Oh, Isaac, isn’t it obvious why they wiped out every man, woman and child in the cult?” She swallowed back a sob and lifted her hand to place over the hand he was cradling her cheek with, as if she needed to touch him every bit as much as he needed to touch her. “They are systematically getting rid of anyone who knew me or had knowledge of my existence.”
Her eyes filled with pain unlike any he’d ever seen. Even having witnessed gravely injured people, his own teammates, the pain he’d seen in their eyes paled in comparison to what he saw when he looked into Jenna’s. His gut clenched because it was killing him. He couldn’t bear to see her in such agony when he was helpless to do a damn thing about it except listen to what she had to say. And he had a very bad feeling about the conclusion she’d reached. Dread filled his heart because he knew it was the exact same conclusion he and his teammates had.
“He’ll come after you—all of you—next,” she choked out. “He’s crazy. He believes himself invincible and is convinced that if he has me he’ll be immortal, that nothing can stop him. Death means nothing to him. God, Isaac, he inflicted terrible injuries on some of his own men and then forced me to watch. I was just a few feet away as they lay dying and they pleaded with me to save them, and yet I was powerless to do anything but watch because he wouldn’t allow me to help them.”
Isaac closed his eyes, knowing that he and Shadow had guessed precisely what the sadistic bastard had subjected Jenna to in the long hours of her captivity.
“He won’t stop,” she said in an aching whisper. “He’ll never stop until he gets what he wants and he doesn’t care how many people he has to kill to achieve his goal or even how long it takes. He’ll always be out there, waiting and watching, and when we least expect it, he’ll attack. Even if it takes multiple times and even if he has to wait years, he’ll kill every single person who works at DSS and any family they have. You and I will never have a normal life together because every moment we’ll be in fear of when he’ll strike and I can’t lose you, Isaac. I can’t. You are the only person who has ever loved me, who has cared so deeply for me and who doesn’t care at all about my ability to heal or try to use it and me to his advantage. When I’m with you, I’m not a freak who spent twenty years trapped inside the walls of a compound with no knowledge or understanding of the vast outside world. When I’m with you is the only time I feel normal. Like a real person and not some commodity to be used, traded or sold like I’m an inanimate object with no feelings, heart, soul or intelligence. I don’t want you to ever leave me. I don’t want you to die!” she cried, diving back into his embrace, pressing her face so tightly to the side of his neck that he wondered if she could even breathe.
He was overwhelmed by her impassioned words. His chest was tight, not with panic now, but with emotion that swelled larger and larger until he felt the sting at his eyelids as tears formed. He blinked furiously, inhaling sharply as he sought to control the swell of love for her that threatened to completely overtake him.
“I will never leave you, baby,” he vowed, barely able to choke out the words through the constriction in his throat.
He kissed her temple and ran his fingers through her tangled hair, wanting her to not just hear his words of love and his vow never to leave her. He wanted her to feel them. Wanted her to feel how awed and off balance he felt over the power of her declaration and what it meant to him. What she meant to him.
She lifted her face, which was raw and hid nothing of what she thought or felt. She scrubbed away at her tears as if annoyed that she’d allowed herself that momentary weakness. Yet he was in awe that she’d been able to keep it together so well for so long from the very beginning. Quite simply, he was in awe of everything she was and the unbreakable inner strength she retained even after twenty years of daily subjugation.
“I believe that you don’t want to ever leave me,” she said. “What I fear is that choice being taken from both of us and you being killed because of me. I could never live, knowing you sacrificed your life for me. I would have nothing to live for.”
“Don’t talk like that,” he said fiercely, her sincere words nearly stopping his heart on the spot. “Never say that, Jenna. No matter what happens, I want you to promise me that you’ll never stop fighting, that you’ll never give up and that you’ll go on, free and able to make your own choices about your life and do anything you’ve ever dreamed of doing. You have to swear it, baby, or I won’t even be able to function. I’ll think of nothing else but the overwhelming fear of you giving up if something ever happened to me.”
He gripped her shoulders and melded his lips to hers, taking her mouth hungrily, desperation beating at him, an incessant, unrelenting force.
Her eyes glistened with tears, but slowly she nodded and in a halting voice, hoarse from the strain of holding back so much emotion, she said, “I promise, Isaac. But only if you promise me the same.”
His eyes narrowed as rage consumed him all over again. In no way, in no version of his life, would there ever not be a Jenna, but he’d forced the vow from her, even seeing the agony it caused her, so he could do no less than utter the same promise—even if he didn’t mean a damn word of it. A life without Jenna was unthinkable. He’d be a mere shadow of his former self, a shell going about the motions like a robot programmed to perform specific functions, but his heart, and his soul, would forever be wherever she was.
He nodded, unable to give voice to the statement she’d barely managed herself.
“What are we going to do?” she asked, her eyes begging him for a miraculous solution, and God, he wished he could give her one. He wanted to give her everything her heart had ever desired, but this was out of his hands and there were no miracles, save those God chose to bestow on the worthy, and Isaac had proved his unworthiness long before Jenna had swept into his life and restored the faith he’d discarded along the way.
“We knew as soon as we saw the newscast why the cult was eliminated, and in all honesty, the hit had most likely been ordered long before you escaped. It occurred mere days after the exchange was supposed to have happened. The cult still wanted access to you even after they turned you over to a drug kingpin and there was no way Jaysus would ever let anyone have use of his prized possession. If the exchange had taken place and you were now in his hands, the massacre would still have occurred because he didn’t want to chance leaving anyone who had knowledge of your existence or your ability to heal alive. With no one left who knew you existed, no one would have ever asked questions about your disappearance and Jaysus would never have to worry about anyone but him knowing anything about your gift.”
Her expression grew fearful once she realized how close she came to being swallowed up in a hole she could never escape from and having absolutely no one who would ever look for her.
“We have a plan that’s already been put into action,” he soothed. “Caleb, Beau and Zack took their wives to a safe house and they’ll have heavy guard at all time. Tori is with Dane and he has money and connections, not to mention firepower, that likely will come damn close to matching Jaysus’s own. Wade Sterling has taken Eliza to an undisclosed location not even known to us, and like Dane, he has not only a lot of money but a lot of power and an entire security team of trained professionals.”
“And us?” she asked anxiously. “The rest of the men?”
“We’re staying right here. It’s heavily fortified, stocked with six months of provisions, not to mention a very impressive arsenal, courtesy of Dane. We’re hiding in plain sight, and I don’t think even Jaysus would think to look for us in a downtown high-rise building, and even if he did, we have a safe room that he’d need serious firepower, as in military-grade weaponry, to breach it, and there are multiple escape exits if we ever need to get the hell out fast.”
“So we just stay here?” she asked hesitantly, biting into her bottom lip.
“That’s exactly what we do,” he said, injecting confidence and reassurance into his tone.
“But we can’t just hide forever,” she said doubtfully.
“No. We wait for him to come to us. He’s desperate, and desperate men eventually fuck up. They always do. Eventually he’ll grow tired of waiting for us to go out and he’ll be furious that he’s been thwarted, and he’ll make a move to come after us. And we’ll be watching and waiting and when he does rear his ugly head, we’ll take him out.”
Her breath hiccupped in a sigh of relief and she sagged against him, resting her cheek on his chest. “As long as I have you with me, it doesn’t matter where we are,” she said, sincerity audible in every word.
“You’ll always have me, baby. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. I need you, Jenna. I’m not ashamed to admit that I need you in order to breathe, in order not to lose the last vestiges of a soul you restored with your love and your light. Before you I existed in the shadows, never seeing the sun until the day you touched me and filled me with the most beautiful peace I’ve ever known.”
“I don’t know what to say, what to do when you say things like that,” she said, her eyes filled with bewilderment, her words laden with emotion.
“Just say you love me too and that you need me even a fraction as much as I need you,” he said, knowing his expression, his eyes, his entire demeanor was as serious as could be. And truthful. It was all he needed from her. It was all he’d ever need from her. Just her love. She didn’t even have to love him as deeply as he loved her, because he loved her enough for both of them.
“And promise me you’ll never give up on me,” he added, anxiety gripping him because he hadn’t included this in his previous statement. “Never give up on us. I know it’s not easy right now and at times I won’t be easy to live with. I’m well aware of the disparity in what you offer me—how much more you offer me and can give me than what I can offer in return. I’ll always be trying to catch up and while I know it isn’t possible that I ever will, what I can offer is given with all my heart, my soul, my life. I belong and will always belong to you. I’m yours to command. Any wish you have, I’ll move heaven and earth to make it come true. Just never give up on me, baby. Please. I can’t even think about the possibility of a life without you in it because it makes me insane. It hurts.”
He felt as though he’d just carved his heart out of his chest and laid the still beating organ in front of her as proof of just how utterly, completely, insanely in love with her he was. He’d just stripped himself of every defense, every shield that had become permanent fixtures over time. He’d never allowed anyone to see beyond those barriers and now he was completely vulnerable before her, his heart, his expression, his tense body begging her not to deny him and to trust him enough to give herself to him forever, even through the rough times.
Her eyes grew soft, her face suddenly glowing, and her smile chased away every doubt, fear and worry. She caressed his jaw, cradling it in her small palm, the very palm she held his heart in, and looked at him with such love that it caused a physical ache in his chest.
“Isaac, have you not been listening to anything I’ve been saying to you?” she teased, running her fingers over his lips and then back to his jaw. “I’ve been sick with worry over the thought, the very real possibility of losing you, of you dying because of me.”
Her gaze went misty and she swallowed several times as if trying to collect herself.
“You don’t ever have to ask for my promise not to give up on you or us or worry that at the first sign of adversity, I’ll decide you aren’t what I want or need and just walk away. You’re my entire world, the very best part of my world,” she whispered softly. “I believe with all my heart and soul that God sent you to me. To save me. To protect me. To love me. To be the man to give me all the things I’ve dreamed of having but never thought possible. I never thought I would be free, much less find freedom and a man who is everything I’ve ever imagined, when all I had were my hopes and fantasies of a life outside the walls of my prison. It’s me who should be on my knees begging you not to ever give up on me or decide I’m not worth the trouble and anguish I’ve caused you and every single person you work with. You aren’t getting the best deal,” she said wryly.
“I’m ignorant of so many things that others take for granted. The world, what I’ve seen of it, still mystifies me and at times I feel utterly lost and like I’ll never fit in. I don’t know what’s correct and what isn’t. The city overwhelms me and makes me feel like I’ll get swallowed up by it and never find my way out. People intimidate me and I’m painfully shy. I don’t even understand why you would want someone like me, but I’m not questioning fate or the fact you love me and that I love you. I’ll never give up on you, but please, don’t ever give up on me either. I need your patience and understanding and for you to help me find my way in a vast, unfamiliar world that’s suddenly been thrust upon me.”
Isaac silenced her with his mouth, crushing his lips to hers. He couldn’t bear to hear her disparage and doubt herself. He kissed her long and deep, fiercely at first, infusing all the passion, love and longing he felt for the woman who owned every single part of him.
Then he softened his movements and they became more gentle and tender, absorbing and savoring the sweetness of her taste, her smell, the way she felt in his arms. Finally, a long while later, Isaac drew back, sucking in great mouthfuls of air into his oxygen-starved lungs. Her face was flushed and glowing, her eyes were shining with wonder and her lips were swollen and a darker pink. She had the look of a woman who’d been thoroughly kissed. He loved that look on her, knowing that he’d been the one to mark her, the one to make her light up and to put the slightly dazed look of love and happiness in her eyes.
“Are we really okay here, Isaac?” she asked, placing her hand on his chest, right over his heart.
He slid his hand over hers to trap it there so she could feel the beat, that it beat only for her.
“We’re safe, baby. We just have to be patient and wait for Jaysus to get impatient and start making mistakes. And he will. Men as obsessed and fixated as he is always fuck up and take stupid risks. And that’s when we nail his ass to the wall.”
TWENTY-TWO
JENNA sat in the corner of the L-shaped sectional amid a mound of pillows, pointing the remote control at the television as she slowly browsed the different channels. She’d driven the guys to the point of insanity within half an hour of surrendering the remote to her after she’d shyly asked if she could try it out.
Though why they were exasperated to the point of leaving the room, grumbling under their breaths, she had no idea. They all knew she’d never even seen a television until the day she’d reacted in horror when one had been turned on in the first safe house where she’d met Eliza and Wade.
She felt foolish about her reaction, and when she realized that she was still