So he was a friend now, and not a boyfriend. He was making it very clear. I tried to ignore the painful squeezing in my chest, but it was impossible. I’d always considered Bodo a caring, loving person. Peter had convinced me that I was a special person to Bodo, someone he didn’t want to live without. But every signal he was sending said otherwise. I didn’t like being this confused or in the dark about my own love life. Things should be simpler than this. If you love someone, just love them. If you don’t, then don’t. But don’t say one thing and do another. Why did guys have to be such jerks?
“Do you want to talk?” asked Bodo, as we moved along the trail to the pool area and loom hut.
“Yes and no,” I admitted, speaking softly. Coli was still out there somewhere, but she’d been so out of it and loud earlier, I allowed myself a measure of confidence that I’d hear her before I saw her next time.
“We haff a problem.”
“Yes. Obviously.”
“Part of it iss my fault.”
“Ya think?” If this was going to be how I was the bad guy and had caused all this bullcrap, I was going to blow my stack. I had so little patience right now.
“Yes. I wass not very forgivingk when you told me about Paci.”
“No, you weren’t. Nor were you very understanding. I think you’ve been a real jerk about the whole thing if you want to know.” It was easier to say these things to him walking in front, not being able to see his face. I felt more free to speak my mind.
“But Paci is da wrong guy. If it wass Rob or Fohi, den I would say okay. But not Paci.”
“Why not Paci? What’s the big deal about him?”
Bodo didn’t answer for a while. When he finally did, he sounded as confused as I felt. “I don’t know. Because he luffs you, I think. He iss different.”
My face started burning. “He doesn’t love me. He might like me, but there’s no way he can love me. He doesn’t even know me.”
“A person does not needt to know all of your secrets to luff you Bryn. You can trust me on dis.”
I stopped walking and turned partway. “It’s all about the secrets with you, isn’t it, Bodo?”
His body immediately took on a defensive posture. He was practically screaming guilt at me. “No. Dare are no secrets. I know your secret now.”
“But you have secrets,” I said, getting mad again. “You’re keeping secrets from me, I know you are.”
“Why do you say dat?” He searched my face.
“I know you. I know when you’re acting guilty. This is just like when you kept Nina from me, when you acted all mad at me for stupid reasons. Something big is going on with you, and you’re not telling me.”
“Dat’s crazy. I’m just Bodo! Mr. Bryn!” He reached out to put his hand on my shoulder, but I shied away. He was trying to smile and laugh me off, but it was so hollow it made goosebumps come up on my arms.
“You’re not Mr. Bryn. Not anymore.” My ears burned. I couldn’t believe I’d actually said it out loud. I’d been thinking it, and my heart had been feeling it, but now it was out there - a big hulking gorilla standing on the path between us.
His face fell. “You are breaking up with me? Like Coli said about Kowi?”
Tears wanted to come, but I wouldn’t let them. “I can’t be with someone I can’t trust. You either need to come clean and tell me what’s going on with you, or that’s it.”
He threw his arms up in frustration. “Dat’s it, what? We are enemies?”
“No, don’t be stupid. Of course we’re not enemies. I could never be your enemy.” This whole thing was so damn confusing I didn’t even know what I was talking about now. I was running on instinct alone. “I care about you very much. You’re a part of my family. But you keep a piece of yourself away from me. Away from everyone. And until you give me all of you, you’ll just be … like a brother.”
Bodo scoffed at that. “Ha. Yeah, okay. A brudder. A brudder who you take a shower with and get to the naked with. I don’t think so.”
I’d bruised his ego, that much was clear. And I understood it was a fragile thing and that we had work to do before it was pitch black outside, so I decided to call a truce.
I put my hand on his arm. “You’re right. Let’s just get all this stuff done and we’ll figure this out later, when we’re back at Haven, okay?”
He nodded once, not saying anything.
Five really awkward minutes later we were walking down the dock that led to the loom hut. The water in the pool was still but for a small current moving through the middle. No fires were lit in the hut nor were any lamps glowing. We walked as silently as we could, and I for one was praying that Coli wasn’t lying in wait.
***
The looms were all still there. I got really excited for about two seconds until I noticed a figure lying underneath the contraption farthest from the doorway.
My heart sank. Another dead friend, either Miccosukee or Creek from the looks of her clothing.
“Rraaaawwrrr!”
An unholy screech filled the air, causing me to scream in fright. I leaped and turned sideways, ready to punch, eye gouge or whatever else I needed to do to protect myself.
A small, soft body hit my leg and scampered off into the darkness.
I put my hand over my racing heart and laughed little. “Fucking cats.”
“Dat scared da doodles out of me,” said Bodo, laughing a little too.
The body on the floor sat up. “Who’s there? Winky?”
I rushed over, so relieved the dead body was talking I nearly wept with joy. “Mandy! Oh my god, what are you doing here?!”
“Bryn? Holy crap! Never mind me … what are you doing here?” She jumped up and gave me a huge hug. I stayed that way with her for a few precious seconds, reveling in her warmth and aliveness.
We separated and I gave her a quick once over. “You injured anywhere?”
“No. Luckily. Those a-holes didn’t get this far, but I was ready for them.” She gestured to a rifle on the floor next to her bedding.
“And they’re not going to, either. We got rid of all the ones that were in the ceremonial hut.”
“With Coli’s help,” added Bodo.
Mandy got suddenly very sober. “You saw her? Coli?”
“Yeah. She’s not good.”
Mandy sighed heavily. “Tell me about it. She’s totally off her meds. I don’t know what to do about her.”
“Meds? What meds?” I wasn’t sure if she was being serious or just using an expression.
“She was taking something for her moods or whatever. She had a huge stockpile of the medication, but either it ran out or she trashed it or used it up … I don’t know.”
“Well, that explains a lot. Did you know that Kowi’s gone?”
“Gone? As in back at the ranch?”
I shook my head, tears coming again as I realized I was about to give her the news that her chief and friend was no longer with us. “Gone as in killed. Gunshot, by those canners. Same with Jason. They’re both dead.”
Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, my Jesus.” She shook her head in silence. When she spoke again her voice was rough. “You got all of them, I hope?”
“As many as we saw. Except for the ones that Coli gutted.”
Mandy turned to cry in private, her shoulders quaking with grief. “When is it going to end?” she moaned.
I couldn’t answer her because it would be a lie to suggest it would. We’d forever be fighting off the evil in the world. It was a seriously depressing thought.
“Why are you here?” asked Bodo. “Why aren’t you at da ranch?”
“I had to protect the looms,” said Mandy when she was able to collect herself enough to speak. “We were going to transport them once we had the ATVs ready.”
“ATVs? What’s dat?” asked Bodo.
“All terrain vehicles. Rob and Trip went to get them. Kowi was going to go too, but then Coli disappeared, and he didn’t want to leave her behind.”
; “Oh man,” I said. “She’s seriously freaking out about him. She said they broke up.”
Mandy shook her head, wiping her eyes and nose with her sleeve. “Who knows with her. She doesn’t live in the same reality that we do.”
“She tried to kill me,” I said. “I know she’s your friend, but I can’t trust her. I have to get out of here before she finds me again.”
Mandy nodded. “I’m not surprised. She never did connect with you very well, did she?”
“Uh, no. Not at all.” It felt like the understatement of the year, but there was no reason to beat a dead horse. “So are you coming with us to the ranch? I’d appreciate you guiding us there.”
“I guess since you got rid of those loom destroyers, I can go.” She gave me a watery smile. “You want to leave now or in the morning?”
“Now,” said Bodo before I could. “Canners are going to go to Haven. We haff to be ready.”
I knew he was right, but hearing it out loud like that was worse than just thinking it. My anxiety level ratcheted up significantly.
“Let’s go, then,” said Mandy. “It’s going to take us thirty minutes to get there.”
We followed her out of the hut and walked silently through the trees. My ears were tuned in for the sounds of a girl off her meds and my heart was aching for the friends I had lost and those who were in danger right now.
Please don’t let anything happen to Peter or any of the others while I’m gone. If I returned to Haven and death greeted me at the doorstep I’d never forgive myself for leaving. I knew exactly how Kowi felt and that just made me even more sad.
***
The trip to the ranch was way more treacherous than I had expected it to be. Mandy said it was the fastest route, but I might have preferred the longer one had she explained what we’d be walking through.
I saw no less than fifteen gators, and I lost count of the snakes at twenty. We even walked around a few of the monster pythons I’d read about in the news before the world had fallen apart - pets people had released into the wild when they no longer wanted them. These serpents had thrived in the Everglades, eating pretty much non-stop. Now they were big enough to eat a pig or maybe even a Bryn-sized girl. I ran past any I saw, praying that being big also meant slow.
The landscape was a mix of waterways and dry land, some of it just roots of trees linked together and some that appeared more solid, like it had sand or solid ground beneath it. The closer we got to the ranch, the less water we saw and the more it started to look like the area around Haven.
It was fully dark by the time we got within fifty yards of the gate. Mandy let out a birdcall that was quickly answered by someone inside the barbed-wire fence that circled the perimeter. When we got closer I was struck by how much it looked like a prison. They even had a watchtower.
“Who goes?” asked a familiar voice.
“Mandy and friends,” she said, sounding just a little happier than she had earlier.
“Rob, it’s me and Bodo,” I said.
“Oh, hell yeah! You made it!”
“Yeah, we did.” I wasn’t as excited about it as he was probably expecting me to be, but it wasn’t possible to be too happy with the memories of Kowi and Jason at the front of my mind.
“Awesome news, awesome.” He pulled me into a hug when I got close enough, holding out a hand towards Bodo. “Welcome to the ranch, guys. Welcome. So glad you’re both here.”
Bodo shook his hand and nodded his head. “We are glad to be here. Out in da middle of da snakes and gators.”
“Nice security system, eh?” asked Rob, letting me go and walking backwards through the gate.
“So, what’s the status?” I asked, waiting for him to secure the lock on the gate and then following him down a road into a treed area.
“We did some negotiating. We’ve got a small herd now, a couple looms and some other things. The trick is going to be getting everything down to Haven.”
“How many kids are coming with us?” I asked.
“About half,” said Rob.
“Wow,” said Mandy, sounding surprised. “Really? I thought it would be more, actually.”
“Yeah, well, more wanted to come but we convinced them to stay for now. We need to be sure we have the manpower at the ranch to keep the canners off. We don’t really have the swamp anymore, so we can’t risk leaving the ranches and farms understaffed.”
“That makes sense,” I said. “Maybe we could work out some kind of exchange system where people go back and forth for different periods. If they want. Or they could just stay in one place. It makes no difference to me.”
“Everyone just needs to be happy,” said Rob. “That’s the goal, right?”
“Yes. Security first, happiness a very close second.” I smiled at Rob’s enthusiasm. It was dark and late, and I knew he’d had as rough a day as we had, but he was full of energy. No way was I going to burst his bubble and tell him about Kowi, Jason, and Coli now. Waiting wasn’t going to change anything.
Rob sent a few birdcalls out ahead of us and soon we were joined by a group of kids. Among them were Trip and Paci. Both of them looked at me intently as they greeted me.
“Welcome to the main ranch,” said Paci, hugging me lightly. “The last stand of the Miccosukee and Creek tribes.” He stepped back and turned his attention to Trip.
“Welcome,” said Trip, shaking my hand firmly. He looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. He just stood more stiffly and puffed his chest out a little.
Bodo walked up and held his hand out at Paci.
Paci didn’t hesitate; he shook Bodo’s hand and smiled. “Welcome to the ranch, Bodo of Germany.”
Bodo made a slight bow, sealing the formality of the process. It was almost funny, but at the same time ceremonial. I wondered if things would ever not be weird among the three of us.
“I hear we have some cattle for Haven,” I said as we walked through some trees and into a large hut. It was connected to several others and covered in the standard thatched roof. As people saw us coming, they stood and walked over to greet us. Trip led the way into the third hut from the end where he finally stopped.
“Hungry?” he asked, gesturing to the food that rested in bowls on a long, narrow table made of bamboo poles.
I gladly dug into a big bowl of the usual Miccosukee fare - grilled vegetables, mystery meats and hunks of fresh bread. The bread was my favorite; it had been too long since I’d had any that wasn’t rock hard.
I was halfway into my meal when LaShay arrived.
“Giiiirl, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” she exclaimed, bumping into people on her way over to give me a one-armed hug. “Damn, you got littler or somethin’.”
“I haven’t had any good Miccosukee food in a while I guess.”
“Well you need to get yourself some cooks over there or somethin’, ‘cause you lose much more and you’re just gonna disappear.”
“Peter would never let that happen. What’s new with you?”
“Well, I still only got one arm as you can see.”
Several kids nearby giggled. Apparently, LaShay had made the idea of being handicapped a laughable thing, which was probably good. Better than having it be a stigma or a reminder of a horrible past.
“But I’m gettin’ good with this one I got left.”
“You should see her swing a bat,” said Jeremy. He’d walked up behind her and stood just to her side.
The big smile on her face told me his opinion was important.
“Oh, don’t be braggin’ on me like that. I’m still learnin’. Softball was never my thing before but I kinda liked it.”
Jeremy put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “I’m just glad I have her on my team.”
I smiled and shook my head. “I leave you guys for what … a week? And you’re already playing softball out here?”
“We always had it out here,” said Jeremy. “We’re just expanding our league.”
“Maybe Haven’ll have to
get a team together,” said Rob. “We could challenge the ranch.”
“Haven versus Ranch. I like it,” said Jeremy.
“So what happened after we left you?” asked Rob, settling in next to me and Bodo on the floor.
A large group had gathered around us and everyone was listening intently to what we had to say. I felt the mood deflate considerably as my expression revealed that my news wasn’t good.
I cleared my throat before starting, not looking forward to being the bearer of bad news. “Well, we rode with that kid Jackson back to his ranch, the Triple Bar D.” I looked around and noticed several kids nodding and looking at each other. Jackson seemed to pass their test, because I saw no angry looks or fear in their expressions.
“We also met his sister, Katy,” added Bodo. “And his birds.”
We had promised to keep the EWS a secret, but I was certain that meant from canners and not friends. “You guys need to get in on that,” I said. “Trip, seriously, you need to send at least a couple people to the Triple Bar D to get trained and to get some birds.”
“Talk to Kowi about that,” he said.
Everyone went silent as they waited for my response. All I could hear was the pounding of my pulse and the rustle of a slight breeze through the trees before Mandy spoke up.
“We have some very bad news, everyone. Very bad news.” She had started to cry again. She tried to continue but couldn’t.
“What?” asked Trip. “What the hell are you trying to say?” He stood, his body language screaming fight.
“Don’t get angry, Trip,” I urged. “There’s nothing we can do now that we didn’t already do to take care of it. It’s just … really, really bad news. The worst.”
Mandy held up her hand, and we waited for her to gather herself. This was her news to deliver if she wanted to. I was ready to do it for her if I had to, but these were her people and it was her right to decide.
I looked at Paci’s smooth features and proud bearing. This was going to be hardest on him.
He turned his head and caught my eye.
I tried to beg him silently across the space between us to forgive me for not getting to his brother sooner. I really did feel like it was partially my fault for not being there to defend him. He’d brought me into his tribe and cared for me when I was desperately seeking shelter, and in a way I’d let him down.