Chapter Nineteen
I nearly retreated back into the forest, into the security and protection of my trees, but I pushed on. My eyes darted around the yard like a cornered animal, unable to hold my ground. Every time my eyes found her, she was unchanging, watching my every move. I swallowed back the rising heavy lump. She didn’t need to say anything. Her eyes spoke volumes. She knew. She had to know.
“Calliope,” she said steadily, with more coolness than I think she felt in that moment. I hadn’t quite reached the deck.
“Hi, Mom.” Maybe she didn’t know. Maybe I was overreacting, painting a picture in my head that didn’t exist.
“You were in the forest,” she stated matter-a-factly, not questioning why.
I nodded, lifting a foot to step up onto the deck. I wasn’t sure if she saw something in my eyes or if it was a gut feeling but she screeched, “Finnian!”
Her shouting stopped me. I remained motionless on the deck steps. It was like watching sand trickling through an hourglass in slow motion, the distress in her eyes, the anxiety of waiting for him to reach her. He finally swiftly strode into the room behind her.
“What? What is it?”
His eyes met mine, trapped by my mom’s stare. I saw the blood drain from his face as realization set in and the scene before him made sense. When she reluctantly turned to him, seeing his deer caught in headlights look, it was all confirmed. We read one another like a book.
“You knew?” she gasped.
“Melody,” he started.
“You knew!” her voice rose to a near shattering glass decimal.
I winced.
He sighed, our cover blown.
“Mom,” I tried. It was hard for me to see passed the death glare she gave him. My father just might die tonight.
“Calliope, I need you to be quiet right now,” she said shakily, trying to keep it steady. “You two, over there now.”
Dad and I followed orders, not daring to argue, and sat closely on the couch in the family room, seeking comfort in numbers.
This was her courtroom now, and we were on trial. Let the questioning begin.
“Finnian, how dare you keep this from me? How dare you risk the safety of our daughter!” She pointed an accusing finger from him to me whenever she spoke about one of us. She had only been lecturing us for about fifteen minutes, but it felt like a lifetime.
“She figured it out on her own, Melody,” Dad defended himself. “I’ve only been her support system. I didn’t want to worry you if nothing else came of it.”
“But it did!” she cried. I wanted to leave and I got up to escape, but she caught me. “Don’t you dare think about moving.” I immediately sat back down, but she wasn’t finished with him yet. “You didn’t think that this was nothing coming of it?” She lifted my hair from my ears and I felt instantly bare and uncomfortable. “Does she have wings too?”
He looked down which was definitely the wrong move. At that point it was as if she couldn’t take one more hammer falling. She stormed away—a breath of her perfume trailing behind—without a word.
It was a weird feeling. I’d just been chewed up and spit back out and chewed up again, but all I felt was relief. It was finally out in the open. I wouldn’t have to hide in my room all the time anymore. If I wanted I could walk freely in our home without being paranoid that someone would see the points of my ears or feel restrained by the bustier holding down my wings. They suffocated more and more each day that I couldn’t release them.
“I think she took it rather well,” he said after a minute and I had to laugh.
“We should have told her sooner, Dad.”
“I know,” he said, humbled. “But you were adjusting so well that I didn’t want to disrupt the process.”
“And you thought this was a better plan?” I asked wryly, peering up at him.
“Well…” he shrugged. “She’ll come around,” he said and pulled me under his arm, kissing the top of my hair. “The trial is next week. If we could have just held off for another few weeks this would have been avoided. I just hope she doesn’t let this affect her ability to function.”
He really cared about my mother. Of course the love my parents had for one another went without saying, but he risked the doghouse and most likely the silent treatment and a few nights of sleeping on the couch so she could have peace of mind. Granted telling her from the beginning might have gone over a little more smoothly, but he wasn’t concerned about himself. He had good intentions even if they weren’t executed properly.
The reason I’d come storming out of the trees in the first place bubbled to the surface. I unlatched myself from him and stared him down.
“What now?” he asked, sensing my frustration.
“Why did you give up your kingdom?”
He sighed heavily as if he knew that was going to come out at some point. I really wished it had come from him.
“That was kind of a large detail to leave out, Dad. Why didn’t you tell me?”
He pressed his lips together, looking thoughtful. “The less you knew the better. We were able to stay hidden without the knowledge of Faylinn and my history there. It was easier this way.”
“Well, I’m obviously not hiding very well anymore, now am I?”
He stood up, leaving me seated. “Calliope, I chose to stay with your mother because she was my life. I was no longer tied to my kingdom. The string secured me to her, but I didn’t leave my kingdom to Favner,” he said with a trace of regret in his voice. “I left it to my brother. He had always wanted Faylinn and I wanted your mother. I didn’t think my inheritance was relevant at the time and there was never the right time to tell you.”
“You have a brother?” I asked in surprise. “Then what happened to him?” After I said it, I knew it was an insensitive question.
Sadness fell across his face. “I can only assume the same thing that is happening to all of the other dwindling fae.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
He nodded his acceptance. There was a moment of silence and I gulped back my sorrow for him.
“So, you left Faylinn for Mom,” I breathed. “Now I’m a faery princess and I’m just supposed to go on with my life as if nothing happened. How?”
“I’m not saying that at all. I don’t even know how to protect you anymore. You’re not safe in Faylinn, but if anyone finds out what you are here, you won’t be safe here either.”
“Is that supposed to bring me comfort? Because you are not doing a very good job of it.”
Something dawned on him. His expression changed. “It makes sense now. Why faery blood runs so strongly in you. You are drawn to Faylinn because it’s falling apart. You are the rightful heir. It knows it won’t survive without you. That’s why you can’t stay human. You’re meant to be a faery.”
“Whoa… No, no, no, no, no,” I said, pulling away from him “You’re the rightful heir. If anything they need you, Dad. Favner is rotten. They need a better ruler. Someone who knows how to care for a dying realm.”
“Maybe you should think more about what you are saying, Calliope. You seem awfully concerned about a place you learned about mere months ago.”
“Of course, I’m concerned. Innocent people…” I cleared my throat. “Faeries are dying or disappearing because of him. Faylinn isn’t the same place you remember, Dad. The way Declan talks about it…” The pain in Declan’s eyes flashed in my mind and I winced.
My dad’s eyes had that all-knowing glint, as if he knew something I didn’t. “You’ll make the right decision in the end.”
“You think it’s my responsibility to take care of this?”
“You are the true heir,” he stated. “It will only keep haunting you until you accept that.”
“But that’s not my world. I don’t know anything about it. I don’t know the history. I don’t know the rules of the land or even the faeries residing there. I would be worthless at taking charge.”
“It will
come to you,” he said, promising.
I let my eyes rest firmly on him as understanding set in. “This is the real reason why you didn’t want to tell Mom,” I said, feeling a little bitter. “You knew she would figure it out and tell me. Were you ever going to tell me?”
“In time I would have when it became necessary.”
“It was necessary from day one, Dad.”
“I never asked for any of this to happen, Calliope. I tried keeping you from Faylinn. Your entire life that has been my only concern, but my feelings don’t matter. Faylinn is more powerful than you. It’s more powerful than me. It will keep fighting for you.”
“And I’ll keep fighting back,” I said with finality.
I went to bed that night without seeing Mom. She locked herself in their bedroom for the remainder of the evening. My dad had to sleep on the couch. I offered him my bed, but he declined it.
My wings curled lightly around me as I lay in my sheets, as if they had a mind of their own and knew I needed the comfort. Their soft embrace caressed my body. In their warm strange sense of security, I drifted off to sleep.
The house was quiet when I woke up the next day. Dad wasn’t anywhere in the house and Mom stayed holed up in their room.
At lunch, I walked out of the school to sit on the grass and breathe in the open air. I just needed one moment of peace, one moment of clarity. Was it too much to ask for?
“Hey,” Lia said cheerfully, wrapping her arm around my waist in a side hug.
I flinched back without thinking. It wasn’t as if she could have felt the wings, but I couldn’t control my reaction. I was already too on edge.
A defensive look painted across her face as she lifted her hands in surrender. “My bad. Note to self. Don’t touch Callie anymore. I’ll just add it to the list underneath: Don’t mention the hair or clothes. No swimming. And treat nature with respect.”
I shied away at “the list”. Had I really become so defensive about everything? “Sorry. I didn’t mean to do that,” I apologized.
“Calliope.” Her voice was firm. “There’s something you’re keeping from me. You know you can trust me, right? What’s been going on with you lately?”
“Nothing,” I denied. “I don’t know why I did that. I’ve just been a little jumpy for some reason. Today’s just not a good day.”
“Are you pregnant?” she whispered close to my ear.
“What?” I stepped back. “No!”
“You can tell me if you are, you know?” she said sympathetically. “I wouldn’t judge you. Life happens. I’d support you no matter what.”
I shook my head. “Lia, why in the world would you think I’m pregnant? Who would I be doing it with?”
“Well, you’re wearing baggier clothes and you don’t like people to touch you. And your mood swings are kind of giving me a headache,” she said these things as if she thought it was obvious.
Great. I’m glad I’ve been so pleasant to be around. “I’m not pregnant, Lia,” I insisted, hoping it would reassure her and get her off my back.
She planted herself in front of me, compelling me to look her in the eye. “Callie, then whatever is going on with you, you can tell me. You know that, right? I won’t judge you. Anything you say won’t scare me. I’m your best friend.”
“There’s nothing to tell.” I shrugged to add emphasis. Shrugging seemed like the right thing to do at the time. “I’m fine.”
Lia looked betrayed, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her anything. “Well, when you finally decide that you can trust me, you know where to find me.” She turned her back on me and walked away, leaving me officially alone.
What just happened? Why was everything falling apart?
I felt the tears climb up my throat and scratch behind my eyes, but I took a deep breath and clenched the tear ducts. I would not cry at school. Not in front of everyone. This wasn’t that big of a deal. I tried to play the mantra in my head to calm myself. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s not that big of a deal.
“Hey.” Cameron appeared in front of me. My gaze refocused and he was peering at me with such concern that the tears threatening to escape fell down my cheeks without permission. “C’mon. Let’s get out of here.”
“I can’t ditch,” I murmured.
“What’s one period? I’m sure your parents can write you a note. They’ll understand.” He drew his thumb across my cheek, brushing away the tears.
“You can’t ditch.”
“My dad will get over it,” he said softly.
He wasn’t going to back down, so I nodded and sought solace under his welcoming arm as we walked out to the school parking lot.
His jeep rattled back and forth as he took it off-roading down a path near the canyon. He let the silence fill the car, knowing I needed the time to collect my thoughts and breath. When we were nowhere near civilization he stopped and motioned for me to get out with him. I followed without question.
As we walked up an off the beaten path sort of trail, I started to hear the trickle of water. We reached a small grassy pasture with a miniature waterfall, water seeping tranquilly through the boulders.
“Release them.”
“What?”
“Your wings,” he said. “Let them be free. I know they need it.” He saw my apprehension. “I won’t look if you don’t want me to.”
I hadn’t shown them to him yet. I hadn’t shown them to anyone. It was never the right time, and if I was being honest, I was too nervous. Showing the wings would be like revealing a part of my body that should be kept covered. It felt intimate to me for some reason. They were a part of me now, and showing them would make everything real. But I did as he said because I really did need to let them stretch out. I carefully pulled down the bustier and set it on the nearest boulder. The upper wings reached out through the sleeves of my tank top while the others spread out the bottom. They fully unfolded and it felt so relieving just to have them fly free, like stretching out a tight muscle.
Cameron didn’t say anything, so I looked to him for confirmation that this wasn’t going to be his breaking point—that this wouldn’t be the point where he would officially flee from the sight of me.
“You’re beautiful.”
I couldn’t stop the blush.
“We’re going to need to make you some shirts with slits so they can be free more often.”
“What would be the point? I couldn’t show them off anyway.”
“For moments like this,” he said as if it was obvious. “Don’t tell me that when you go to see Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb that you keep your true self hidden.”
I chuckled, but didn’t deny his accusation.
“Callie.” He shook his head. “No wonder you’re so on edge. You can’t let yourself be you anywhere you go. Even in the presence of your own kind. And look at you. Why would you want to hide?”
I sighed. “Because Cameron, I’m not who I thought I was. Nothing about what I knew has been true. Every time I turn around someone throws another grenade of information at me. I’m a freaking faery princess!” The words gushed out of my mouth like word-vomit. I couldn’t hold them back. And they sounded ridiculous.
His mouth dropped. “What?”
I fell against the trunk of the nearest tree and slid down, too exhausted to stand any longer. “Yeah. My father was supposed to inherit Faylinn when he met my mom. I’m apparently the rightful heir now.”
He chuckled. “Do you realize how many girls would kill to be you right now?”
I tossed my hand in the air, brushing him off. “If girls really knew the pressure it put them under they wouldn’t feel the same way.”
“Maybe, maybe not. But you’re here moping because you’re royalty.”
“I’m not moping because I’m royalty,” I countered. “It’s all just a lot to take in, okay? What if your mom came up to you and said, ‘Oh, Cameron, by the way, your father is an elf from Santa’s works
hop and I’m an alien from outer space, so that makes you—”
“Something really messed up,” he cut in.
That stopped me in my tracks and the laughter bubbled over. I really laughed, freely. He joined in and sat beside me, nudging my shoulder.
“There you are.” He smiled warmly. “I knew you were in there somewhere. You’ve really got to loosen up, Cal. You’re too young to have a heart attack.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder, basking in his familiar company. He reached his arm around me, being careful of my wings, and let me relax under his friendly embrace. We sat there without speaking for a while. It was exactly what I needed. Just to have a silent support system. To know I wasn’t alone in this.
Sunlight filtered through the leaves above us, fluttering patterns in our laps. Cameron reached over and traced the lines dancing on my bent knees, tickling my stomach.
“Do you think I can still have a normal life? Do you think I can stay here and live like everyone else? Go to college. Get a job. Get married.” I paused. “Have a family?”
When he didn’t answer I gazed up at him.
Cameron’s eyes moved from my legs and scanned my face, making my feelings for him rise to the top. He bit his bottom lip. “I don’t see why not,” he said. “You’ve mastered your tactics for covering up so far. If you want to keep it up, I don’t see why you couldn’t live like a human if that’s what you really want to do.”
“I do,” I said earnestly.
He broke our eye contact and looked to the ground. “Yeah… I don’t really think you’re cut out to be royalty anyway. You’re too much of a commoner.”
I shoved his shoulder, untangling myself from him. “Will you take me back home? I really need to talk to someone.”
Cameron sighed. “Back to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb, huh?”
“Well, it depends on who is who,” I said, getting easily to my feet.
“Well, I haven’t met Dee yet, but Dumb is obviously the one who thinks he knows everything.”
I chuckled. “Dee it is, then.”
When we pulled up to my house my mom’s car was parked in the driveway, which did not ease my burdens. What was she doing home already?
“Does your mom know yet?”
“She found out last night.” I looked to the house, already dreading having to face her after last night. “Saw me walking out of the trees just before dark.”
“Ooooo,” he sucked in air. “That must have been a fun one to explain.”
“You have no idea.”
“See you… later?” He was about to say tomorrow when he realized it was the weekend. “That is if you live to see another day.”
I smirked and lifted my hand to wave, but stopped. “My car,” I realized.
“Isla and I will go get it and bring it back to you.”
“She won’t be mad that you ditched school with me today?” I know I would be if I were her.
“If she is, she’ll have to get over it.” He shrugged.
I smiled again. “Thanks, Cam.”
“Anytime, Callie.”
When I walked in the front door, my mom stepped into the entryway at the sound of the door closing.
“I got a call from the school,” she said. “You weren’t in your last period class. I tried calling your phone, but it kept going to voicemail. I was worried about you.” She looked like she was trying to control her distress. I appreciated it, but I knew I deserved whatever lecture was going to be sent my way.
“I was with Cameron. We were up the canyon so the reception must have been bad.”
She nodded. “And you ditched because…?”
“I needed to get away. Ever since… this.” I gestured to myself. “I’ve been a little overwhelmed and distant from Lia. She got really upset with me today, so Cameron took me to get some fresh air.”
“And you couldn’t just come to our backyard?”
I shrugged. She nodded. The silence carried on between us, neither of us really knowing what to say.
“Cameron knows?”
I nodded again.
“Does Dad know he knows?”
I answered with the shake of my head.
“Does anyone else?”
I shook it again.
Mom walked over to me and rested her hands gently on either side of my shoulders. “I want you to know I’m not mad at you. I was upset last night because it was a shock and I am upset that your father kept it from me, but I can only imagine how scared you must have been.” My shoulders fell; feeling the weight of everything settle in. “I wish I could have been there for you. Can I be there for you now?” I nodded and she took me into her arms. “I’m scared too, you know,” she whispered into my hair. “I don’t want to lose you.”
Being hugged by my mom was exactly the strength that I had needed. There was something about her touch that even on my worst day could comfort me and make me feel like everything would be okay. Of course, eventually it would. Even if it didn’t feel like it right now. In the distant future we’d look back at this time and laugh at our misfortunes because that’s just what you do. That’s all you can do. At least that’s what I’ve been told.
When we pulled apart I asked, “Do you mind if I go?” I pointed to the forest, anxiousness beating in my legs.
She pursed her lips. “Who are you visiting with in there anyway?” her motherly tone back in place.
“Declan and Kai.”
She pursed her lips. “I don’t think I know them.”
This seemed silly. I had been spending time alone with them for months now. And they were the ones that have been keeping me alive. If there was anyone that I should be allowed to hang out with it should be them. “Dad does.”
“I guess that’s good enough,” she said, skeptical.
“I promise that you can trust them.”
She nodded, though I could still see the concern in her eyes.
I kissed her cheek and headed to the back door. “Thanks, Mom.” I knew she knew it was for more than letting me escape.