Shudders run through my body, focusing on where we are connected. I gasp and start to fall forward, but Bastian grabs my hips, steadying me. He picks up the pace, using my hips as leverage as he angles his body up into mine. His jaw tightens as he grits his teeth.
“Oh, God! Kandace! Baby…please!” I watch Bastian’s face as he comes, mouth open and eyes closed. I run my hand over his jaw and down his neck, positive I have never seen such an incredible sight. “I can’t hold back…not anymore. You feel too good.”
“Don’t hold back.”
Bastian grips my hips once more before relaxing his fingers, opening his eyes, and smiling up at me. I return the look before leaning over to rest against his chest and listen to the beat of his heart. He runs his hands up and down my back, and his skin is so warm and comforting that I just want to fall asleep in his arms.
No…don’t sleep.
For a moment, there is a vision of bright lights behind my eyelids. I sit up abruptly and grip Bastian’s shoulders. My hands are shaking, but he doesn’t take notice. He runs his fingers down my sides and over my ass before he starts massaging my thighs.
“Relax, baby,” he says quietly.
“I don’t want to.”
“You want to go at it again?” He grins broadly as he sits up and wraps his arms around me. His lips press against my shoulder, and he sighs. “You might have actually worn me out.”
“So you do have a stopping point?” I snicker.
“Just a little break,” he says, correcting me. “You have to let a man catch his breath every once in a while.”
“Why should I?” I ask. “You’ve taken mine away.”
“All part of the service, madam.” He twists and turns me until I’m sitting on his lap, secured by his embrace.
I trace the edge of his jaw with my fingertip. His skin is smooth to my touch, and I wonder when he managed to get a shave. I don’t remember him ever leaving my side, and I wonder how long I have been with him on this island. I’ve lost track of how many times we’ve had sex. I don’t recall ever stopping to do so much as get a drink of water.
Bastian lightly touches my lips with his and then stares into my eyes.
“Stop thinking,” he says.
I’m not sure if his words are a command or a plea.
“But none of this makes sense,” I say. “How did I get here? Why am I here at all?”
“Shh.” He presses his finger to my lips, silencing me. He holds my cheek to his shoulder and kisses the top of my head. “I want to stay like this forever.”
“So do I.” I turn to look at him, offering him my most sincere smile.
He smiles back at me slowly. His eyes twinkle as he grins, but there’s something deeper inside—something full of regret. I want to ask him why he looks that way, but I can’t bring myself to form the words.
Without warning or the recollection of moving, we’re back on the beach, sitting in the sand as the waves wash over our bare feet. I’m back in the blue bathing suit I don’t recognize, and Bastian wears smudged, sandy cargo shorts. The sun is setting in brilliant hues of orange, red, and purple. A group of pelicans fly in front of us, diving for their evening meal.
I’m exhausted—insanely exhausted—but I still feel a sense of peace I haven’t felt in a long time. I feel calm and safe as Bastian casually tosses his arm over my shoulders, and we watch the sun sink below the horizon.
“This isn’t real, is it?”
“What is real?” Bastian asks with a shrug. He looks at me and gently runs his hand over my arm. “Do you hear my voice and feel my touch on your skin? Have I made you come so hard you think you’re going to lose your mind?”
“Yes,” I say with a nod. “I can’t deny that. I’ve never felt like this before.”
“Life is made up of experiences, Kandace. Have you had an experience here?”
“Yes.” I nod to emphasize the words. Everything he says is absolutely true.
“Then what else do you need?”
What else indeed?
I lie back in the sand, and Bastian joins me. He wraps one arm around my shoulders and brings me up against his chest. His other hand rests against my hip, and he tosses one leg over mine, holding me closely and securely.
“You got me?” I whisper quietly as I close my eyes. I feel disoriented and my head fills with a dizzying fog. I can barely feel the sand on my back. The only clear sensation is Bastian’s limbs wrapped around me.
“I got you, babe. Always. We all do.”
“All?” I try to open my eyes but only manage to flutter my eyelashes. The images flicker from the warm reds of the fading sunset to bright, sterile white walls.
“All of us, Kandace.” His voice is beginning to fade. “We all love you.”
I’m leaving.
I close my eyes, no longer able to hold them open. I feel Bastian’s grip on me tighten, and I hear him whisper soft words to me again, but he sounds so far away.
Not leaving—waking up. All of this is a dream.
Maybe it is. Maybe none of what happened on this island is real. It doesn’t matter. Each moment will live inside my memories, and that can never be taken from me. As Bastian said—life is made up of experiences, and there is no doubt that I’ve had quite an experience.
An experience I will forever cherish.
~~The End~~
Author’s Note
Thank you for supporting this effort. Please check out Team Kandace, Kandace’s support group on Facebook, to get updates on how everything is going and offer her a few words of encouragement. In addition, please consider donating to her GoFundMe page to help with her medical expenses.
Kandace: I’ve got you.
More Books by Shay Savage
Surviving the Storm Series:
Surviving Raine
As the captain of a schooner catering to the elite on the Caribbean Seas, Sebastian Stark does his best to avoid any human encounters. Interacting with people isn’t his thing, and he prefers the company of a bottle of vodka, a shot glass, and maybe a whore. There’s no doubt he’s hiding from a checkered past, but he does well keeping everything to himself…
…until the night his schooner capsizes, and he’s stuck on a life raft with one of the passengers.
Raine’s young, she’s cute, and Bastian would probably be into her if he wasn’t suffering from alcohol withdrawal. As the days pass, DTs, starvation, and dehydration become the norm. Even the most closed person starts to open up when he thinks he’s going to die, but when she realizes their traumatic pasts are connected, it’s no longer the elements that have Bastian concerned.
He has no idea how he’s going to Survive Raine.
Bastian’s Storm
Sebastian Stark just isn’t cut out for normal life with a girlfriend in the hot and humid city of Miami. All in all, he’d rather be back on the island where it was just the two of them, and he could keep everything in balance. The bar down the street tempts him daily, but he’s determined to remain strong. Adjusting to normal life is difficult, but Bastian is doing his best to keep himself together and the nightmares away. Raine’s happy, and that’s what matters to him the most.
But not all nightmares can be driven away.
When Bastian’s former mentor comes into the picture and presents him with an ultimatum, Bastian slips into old habits. Though he wants to shield Raine from the truth, the shady circumstances of his past form into a hurricane he can’t control. In an effort to protect her, Bastian has no choice but to throw himself back into his old job—death match tournaments—just one last time.
Dropped into the arctic wilderness with weapons loaded, Bastian has to compete against representatives from major crime lords all over the states. He’s studied his competition, he knows their weaknesses, and he’s ready to battle for the woman he loves. There’s only one opponent in the mix that causes him any concern. In order to guarantee Raine’s safety, Bastian will be pitted against the key hit man for Chicago’s largest mob famil
y—a guy who’s known as one hell of a shot.
A guy named Evan Arden.
Evan Arden Series:
Otherwise Alone
Former Marine Lieutenant Evan Arden sits in a shack in the middle of nowhere, waiting for orders that will send him back home—if he ever gets them. Other than his loyal Great Pyrenees, there's no one around to break up the monotony. The heat is unbearable, but he makes do with the little he has. He’s accustomed to harsh conditions and simply exists as best he can. The tedium is excruciating, but it is suddenly interrupted when a young woman stumbles up his path.
She’s lost; she’s cute, and he can’t resist the temptation of luring her into his bed. Why not? It’s been ages, and he is Otherwise Alone.
Otherwise Occupied
Evan Arden is a hit man for a Chicago mob boss and moves through life with darkness in his soul and a gun in his hand. Those who know him for what he is fear him, and those who find out the hard way never get a chance to tell anyone else. The few people who get a glimpse inside his head wish they never had. A merciless killer, his only loyalty resides with his employer, the man who calls the shots that rain from Evan’s weapon.
As a POW of the Gulf War, Evan spent months in captivity, and the memories of his confinement combine with thoughts of the woman he left in Arizona. He lives his life day-to-day with little more than the company of his dog, Odin. As insomnia overtakes him, he seeks comfort from an unlikely source, but will confiding in her be his undoing?
He’s struggling to forget his past and to keep himself Otherwise Occupied.
Otherwise Unharmed
After Evan Arden was imprisoned by the enemy for a year and a half, he returned from the desert as a military hero. He’d suffered some minor injuries during his captivity, was discharged from the Marines with a touch of shellshock, but was considered otherwise unharmed. Now he wonders how he ended up where he is—incarcerated in Chicago’s Metropolitan Correctional Center for using his sharpshooting expertise to take out the neighborhood park with a high-powered sniper rifle and multiple rounds of ammunition.
Lia Antonio, the woman he rescued from the desert heat the previous year, is the only person who can bring him out of his sleep-deprived psychosis and mounting PTSD. When she does, Evan knows he can’t just let her go again. He’s never considered leaving the business before—who retires from the mafia?—but he’s determined to get both Lia and himself out of harm’s way.
Evan faces overwhelming forces from multiple directions as a deal to get him out of jail turns more dangerous than he imagined. With a mob war on the horizon and the feds holding evidence over his head, Evan has no choice but to throw himself into the middle of another warzone.
In his efforts to make things right, Evan crosses the wrong man and finds himself on the business end of the crosshairs. With his acute perception and intelligence, he tries to stay a step ahead of his former co-workers, but this time, it isn’t just his own life on the line—he’s got to protect Lia from the man who once called him son.
Isolated
Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome. The mantra is good enough for the Marines; it’s good enough for me. Improvise . . . Near the top of the world, I fight for my life against my opponent, Sebastian Stark. He has the upper hand in strength, but I have the cunning to turn the tables on him. I battle the elements, my demons, and him until Stark and I manage to strike a deal to ensure freedom for us both—and the women we love.
Adapt . . . Being alone comes naturally to me. I’ve spent most of my life alone. Sharing my experiences, opening up to another human being, developing a relationship—all these things are foreign to me. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even meant to be.
Overcome . . . I’ve been away from Lia for far too long, yet I still have commitments I must keep. When I make my way home, I will tell her I have decided to end the life I have led and move on to become the man she needs. I can overcome my demons; I must. But will Lia be willing to wait?
Irrevocable
Have you ever made a mistake?
A big one?
I’m back in Chicago and back in business with my boss, Rinaldo Moretti. So much for my run at a normal life. There are some new faces in the organization, and someone’s been cooking the books. Personally? I think they’re after more than a just little cash. If I have any hopes of flushing out the traitor, I’m going to need to find a good hooker to help me sleep at night.
As the bodies pile up, I find solace in Alina. There’s something about her, something different. She understands me without asking a lot of questions. It’s as if she’s known me for years, yet we’ve only just met. If I weren’t so distracted by business, I’d try to figure out her story. She’s the only one keeping me grounded as my world spins out of control.
I’m going to lose the one man who has ever meant anything to me – the only man to ever call me son. I want to deny his request, but there is no avoiding what awaits me. I never wanted any of this, but I’m out of options, and time is running out.
Some choices have unforeseen consequences, and some choices are simply irrevocable.
Uncockblockable
Nick Wolfe is famous in Chicago—or is that infamous? He’s not only known as the illegitimate son of Mafia boss Rinaldo Moretti, but also as an unstoppable ladies’ man. He always seems to get the girl in the end, even when everyone around tries to plot against him. He’s a party guy, doesn’t work, and spends all his time picking up women and making notches on his headboard. He's the ultimate ladies’ man...or is that man-whore? However, his days of infamy come to a startling halt when he meets her, and she turns the tables on him.
Caged Trilogy
Takedown Teague
This is not made for TV. This is the raw, brutal underground of no-holds-barred combat. Inside the cage there is nothing but me and the pain I inflict on those who dare enter. In the cage, I never have to worry about anyone but myself. Yet, when she began standing outside of the cage, everything changed. I was no longer fighting for the money or the glory – I was fighting for her.
Trapped
Bizarre rituals on a remote island in Maine.
My crazy neighbor lying naked in the produce section of a grocery store.
The sting of a knife as it slices through my flesh.
Now I know why they say life is never easy.
The soft touch of Tria’s hand against my chest is the only thing that keeps me going, but there are consequences. As a fighter, I should be able to deal with anything life throws at me, but there is one circumstance I simply can’t handle.
I only have one coping mechanism: a tube around my arm and a needle in my vein.
Released
Oblivion is a sweet, sweet place.
No pain. No disturbing thoughts of the past. No guilt from my recent actions.
Deep down, there is still a part of me that knows how screwed up I am. I don’t see a way out, not now. Tria’s gone, and the possibility of her forgiving me in my current state is exactly zero. I know I have to pull myself together, accept my responsibilities, and try to make amends, but I have no idea where to start.
No job. No apartment. I’m living on the streets with the other junkies. As little as I had to offer Tria before, I have nothing to give her now. The only way out is to come clean and tell Tria the truth about my past, but the idea of reliving the memories is so painful, I can’t think about it long enough to figure out a solution.
I’ve hit rock bottom, and I don’t even know which way is up any more.
Stand Alone Novels
Transcendence
It’s said that women and men are from two different planets when it comes to communication, but how can they overcome the obstacles of prehistoric times when one of them simply doesn’t have the ability to comprehend language?
Ehd’s a caveman living on his own in a harsh wilderness. He’s strong and intelligent, but completely alone. When he finds a beautiful young woman in his pit trap, it’s obvious to him that she is meant t
o be his mate. He doesn’t know where she came from, she’s wearing some pretty odd clothing, and she makes a lot of noises with her mouth that give him a headache. Still, he’s determined to fulfill his purpose in life—provide for her, protect her, and put a baby in her.
Elizabeth doesn’t know where she is or exactly how she got there. She’s confused and distressed by her predicament, and there’s a caveman hauling her back to his cavehome. She’s not at all interested in Ehd’s primitive advances, and she just can’t seem to get him to listen. No matter what she tries, getting her point across to this primitive but beautiful man is a constant—and often hilarious—struggle.
With only each other for company, they must rely on one another to fight the dangers of the wild and prepare for the winter months. As they struggle to coexist, theirs becomes a love story that transcends language and time.
Offside
I have to be the best. I am the best. I’m quick. I’m strong. I’m smart. I’m the star keeper of my high school soccer team, and I’ve got major leagues scouting me. As their captain, my teammates will do anything I say—on or off the field. Girls practically beg to be added to my list of conquests. As long as I manage to go pro for the best team in the world, I won’t have to worry about my father’s wrath.
I’m Thomas Malone, and I’ve seen to it that the world revolves around me.
There’s a new girl at school, and it’s just a matter of time before she gives in to my charm. This one’s just a little more stubborn than most—she won’t even tell me her name! She’s smart, too. Maybe too smart. I can’t let her in. I can’t let anybody in. I’m not too worried, but even I have to admit she’s interfering with my focus on the goal.
Dad’s not going to be happy about that.