“Shall we be lovely ladies?” asked Hannie in a lovely-lady voice.
“But of course,” I replied.
We put on dresses. We put on hats. We put on scarves and gloves and jewelry. Then we walked out of Hannie’s room. We looked at ourselves in the long mirror in her parents’ bedroom.
“Blecch,” I said.
I turned around and marched back to Hannie’s room. I took off my lovely-lady clothes and put them in her trunk.
Hannie watched me. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“I’m not a lovely lady,” I told her.
“Neither am I,” said Hannie. “We’re just pretending.”
“No, I mean I am not pretty. I am not even cute. I am an ugly duckling.”
Hannie frowned.
“Look at me,” I said. I pointed out all the ugly things.
“Hmm,” said Hannie. “Maybe you’d feel better if you got your hair cut or something. Maybe you need a change.”
“I asked Mommy and Daddy if I could get contact lenses instead of glasses, and they both said, ‘No. Not until you’re fourteen.’ ”
“Fourteen!” cried Hannie. “You won’t be fourteen for years.”
“I know.”
“Well, what about a new haircut? I like your hair the way it is now, but wouldn’t it be exciting to go to a beauty parlor and get a haircut? Something new and special and different?”
“Yeah!” I exclaimed. Beauty parlors are terrific. Once I went on an ocean cruise on a huge ship. On the ship were swimming pools and restaurants and even a beauty parlor. And I went to the beauty parlor by myself and got a manicure.
“Maybe,” I said excitedly to Hannie, “I could have my nails done, too. I would like them painted pink.”
“Well, there’s a new beauty parlor in town,” Hannie told me. “It’s called Gloriana’s House of Hair. Maybe you could go there.”
“Yeah!” I cried. “I’ll ask Daddy about it when I go home.”
“You know what?” said Hannie. “This is perfect, because Scott and I are getting married soon. After your beauty treatment you will look so lovely. Then you can be the bridesmaid in our wedding.” (Hannie is in love with Scott Hsu, a new boy who moved in down the street from us. He does not go to our school.)
“Thanks,” I said, “but I thought you wanted me to be the photographer at your wedding.”
“I did. But I want you to be a beautiful bridesmaid even more.”
“Can you wait until after my beauty treatment?” I asked.
“Sure,” replied Hannie. “No problem. The wedding is not scheduled yet.”
“Goody! I can’t wait!” I exclaimed.
Waiting for Tuesday
That afternoon, I left Hannie’s. I had stayed for lunch. Hannie’s father had fixed fruit salad for us. Yum. Strawberries are my favorites. You know what Andrew calls them? He calls them “strawbabies”!
When it was time for me to go home, Mrs. Papadakis gave me a little white box. “Your tooth is in here,” she told me.
“Thank you,” I replied.
I ran to my house.
“Look, everybody!” I cried. “I lost my other tooth at Hannie’s! Here it is! Now I can put two teeth under my pillow for the Tooth Fairy.”
My family was impressed.
“What do you think happens if you lose two teeth in one day?” I asked them.
“I think,” replied Sam, “that the Tooth Fairy says to herself, ‘Hmm. Karen is so lucky to have lost two teeth at once. I guess she doesn’t need a surprise under her pillow. She has already had enough excitement.’ ”
“Sa-am!” I cried.
Later on, I found Daddy out in the herb garden. He was weeding it. No one else was in the backyard. It was a good time to ask him about getting a beauty treatment at Gloriana’s House of Hair.
“Daddy?” I said. I sat down at the edge of the garden.
“Yes?” Daddy was hoeing. He stopped, leaned on the hoe, and looked at me.
“Daddy, I feel like an ugly duckling. My teeth are awful. I’ve got these big rabbit teeth in front, and the holes where my other teeth fell out, and I have to wear glasses. Could I please, please, please get my hair cut? At Gloriana’s House of Hair? It’s a new place in town.”
“I don’t know,” Daddy replied. “A fancy beauty salon?”
“Puh-lease? I just know I’ll feel better with a new haircut … and a manicure … and a pedicure. Pink toenails would look so, so lovely.”
“I think a haircut and a manicure will be enough,” said Daddy. “But I’ll have to talk to Mommy first. She has to agree to this.”
“Okay. Thank you!” I cried.
So Daddy and Mommy talked on the phone. Mommy said I could get my hair cut and have a manicure. Yippee! Daddy said he would pay for my beauty treatment. He even made the appointment for me. I would get my hair cut on Tuesday after school.
That night, I put my teeth under my pillow. Guess what was there when I woke up on Sunday? A barrette! Now how did the Tooth Fairy know I wanted a fancy new blue barrette? I guess because she is magic.
* * *
I liked my barrette a lot. But I did not like waiting for Tuesday afternoon. That was very, very hard. Hannie and Nancy both helped make the wait a little easier, though.
On Monday, Nancy said, “Karen, if you want a good haircut, you should find a picture of the style you want and take it to the beauty parlor with you.”
“Oh. That’s a great idea,” I replied. “Thank you.” So Nancy and I looked through some magazines until I found a haircut I liked.
“Here! This is it,” I said. I cut the picture out of the magazine.
Hannie helped make the wait easier by calling me about her wedding. She called seven times. She kept asking things like, “Do you think I should wear flowers in my hair?” And, “Who should we invite to the wedding?” And, “Do you think your haircut will look good, Karen? I want you to be the most beautiful bridesmaid ever. You’ll look pretty, won’t you?”
“I hope so,” I answered. Boy, did I hope so.
Karen’s Beauty Treatment
Tuesday finally arrived. Mommy picked me up after school. Andrew was with her.
Boo. I did not want my little brother at Gloriana’s House of Hair. He would probably wreck something. And I wanted to look like a grown-up person who did not have a four-year-old brother.
I hoped Andrew would sit quietly and behave himself.
Mommy drove downtown. She parked in front of a very fancy building. It was mostly glass with a silver-colored door. Bright pink neon lights spelled out Gloriana’s House of Hair in script, like this:
“Ooh,” I said. “This is so, so beautiful. I bet Gloriana is beautiful, too. She certainly has the most beautiful name I have ever heard. Andrew, you will have to behave yourself. Gloriana’s is one of those places where you can’t touch anything.”
“Don’t you worry about Andrew,” said Mommy. “I will watch him. If he gets fidgety, we’ll take a walk. You won’t mind staying in the beauty parlor alone for a few minutes, will you?”
“Oh, no!” I said. (I would feel much more grown-up if that happened.)
Mommy and Andrew and I went inside Gloriana’s House of Hair. There were mirrors and pink neon decorations everywhere!
The woman behind the desk said, “Let’s see. Karen Brewer. You’re here for a haircut and a manicure, right?”
I nodded.
“Okay. Sally is going to give you the manicure first.”
Sally? Darn. I wanted Gloriana to do everything.
“And then,” the woman went on, “Gloriana will cut your hair.”
Goody!
Mommy and Andrew sat in the waiting area. They looked at magazines.
I followed Sally to her manicure chair. I chose bright pink polish.
When Sally was finished with my nails, she led me to a chair in front of a sink. “Keep your hands very still,” she told me. “Your nails are not dry yet.”
“Okay,” I replied. While my nails dried, a m
an washed my hair. Then a woman wrapped a towel around my head.
“I’m Gloriana,” she said. “Are you ready for your haircut?”
“Yup,” I replied. “I even have a picture of what I want.” I gave it to Gloriana.
I watched Gloriana while she looked at the picture. I decided I didn’t like Gloriana’s hair at all. Some of it was short, some was long, some was dark, and some was light. But I guessed it didn’t matter what Gloriana’s hair looked like — as long as she copied the picture and gave me the haircut I wanted.
I sat down in the haircutting chair. I was so excited, I could feel butterflies in my tummy. Gloriana began to snip away.
The cut I wanted was a nice simple one. I wanted shoulder-length hair (so I could still wear barrettes and hair ribbons in it) with bangs in front.
Gloriana had been cutting my hair for awhile when Mommy came over to me and said, “Andrew is getting wiggly. I’m going to take him for a walk. We’ll be back in ten minutes, okay?”
“Okay,” I answered.
While Mommy and Andrew were gone, Gloriana kept cutting away. She snipped and cut and cut and snipped. My long hair fell in a pile on the floor.
Suddenly I realized something awful. My hair was getting too short! But I was afraid to tell Gloriana.
I wanted Mommy.
By the time Mommy and Andrew came back, Gloriana was finished with my hair. It was not the cut I had asked for.
I was practically bald.
The Bride of Frankenstein
Well, okay, I wasn’t practically bald, but my hair was much shorter than I’d wanted. I had bangs in front, all right, but the rest of my hair was cut close to my head, except for some long hair in the back that did come to my shoulders. It looked really weird. Mostly, my hair was too short for barrettes and ribbons.
When Mommy returned, she looked surprised. “Karen!” she exclaimed. “Is that what you asked for?” She looked suspiciously at Gloriana.
“No,” I replied. My lips were quivering.
“It’s the latest cut,” Gloriana told us. “Karen is very fashionable now.”
I didn’t care what Gloriana said. I hated my hair.
I cried all the way home. (Mommy said my hair would grow back.)
My nails looked great, but with my glasses, my rabbit teeth, my missing teeth, and my horrible, awful hair, I looked worse than ever.
When I woke up the next morning, my stomach did not feel so good. But I knew I just had butterflies again. Only these were not excited butterflies. They were scared butterflies.
How could I face the kids at school? They were all going to tease me. I just knew it. Especially Ricky Torres. Yicky Ricky Torres. He would tease me the worst of all. He would probably call me a mean name.
I was right.
I tried to get to Ms. Colman’s room late. I hoped I could slide into my seat just before it was time for the Pledge of Allegiance. But I wasn’t late enough. Ms. Colman hadn’t even arrived yet. And when I came in, everyone just stared at me. Even Hannie and Nancy.
Then Yicky Ricky said, “Look! Here comes the Bride of Frankenstein!”
He meant me.
All the boys and a couple of girls started calling me the Bride of Frankenstein. But that wasn’t the worst thing. The worst thing happened when I ran to the back of the room to be with Hannie and Nancy. (We used to sit together, but after I got my glasses, Ms. Colman moved me to the front row.)
I wanted my friends to make me feel better. Nancy tried. She said, “Karen, your hair is so … interesting.”
But Hannie said, “What happened?”
“Gloriana didn’t copy the picture I gave her,” I replied sadly.
Hannie looked thoughtful. Then she said, “I — you — I — Karen, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you can’t be my bridesmaid. Not while you look like this.”
I almost began to cry, but Ms. Colman came into the room then. Everyone sat down. The day began. It was a horrible, long day. I could not think about my work at all. And in the hallway on the way to lunch, two fifth-grade girls pointed at me. That was when I knew for sure that I looked like the Bride of Frankenstein. Fifth-graders never pay attention to second-graders. Not unless something is wrong or funny.
I was most upset about Hannie, though. How could she be so mean to me? She was supposed to be one of my best friends.
Tiffanie
After school that day, Mommy picked Nancy and me up and drove us home.
As Nancy ran up her driveway, she called, “ ‘Bye, Karen! See you tomorrow!”
I did not answer her.
“Karen?” said Mommy. “What’s wrong? You didn’t say a word in the car. Do you feel all right?”
I did not answer Mommy, either.
I marched up to my room. I closed my door. I took Emily Junior out of her cage.
“Emily, Emily, Emily,” I said. “Look at me. Do you care if I’m an ugly duckling or the Bride of Frankenstein?”
Emily sniffed around my room. She poked her head into a shoe.
“I guess you don’t care,” I said. “But you are just a rat. People care. Ricky and his friends teased me, the big kids pointed at me, and one of my very best friends in the world is not my best friend anymore. She won’t let me be in her wedding. Just because of my hair. I’m glad you’re a rat. Rats are nicer than people.”
Sniff, sniff, sniff went Emily Junior. I put her back in her cage.
Then I picked up Goosie, my stuffed cat. I sat on my bed and leaned against the wall. I made Goosie stare at me.
“Well?” I said. “Do you think I look like the Bride of Frankenstein?”
I made Goosie nod his head.
“Thanks a lot,” I told him.
Then I held him up to my ear. “What? What did you say? … That if I can’t look beautiful, at least I can have a beautiful name? Boy, that’s a great idea, Goosie. Thanks!”
I put Goosie down and thought of beautiful names. Yesterday I had thought Gloriana was a beautiful name, but not today. Not after what Gloriana had done to me. Hmm. Katie? No. Sarah? No. Those were pretty names, but I wanted a beautiful name like … like Tiffanie! That was a gorgeous name!
* * *
At dinner that night I said, “Everybody, I have a new name — ”
“How can you have a new name?” interrupted Andrew.
“I just do,” I told him. “It’s Tiffanie. Isn’t that beautiful?”
“It’s lovely,” said Seth. “Why do you need a new name?”
“I need to pretend I’m beautiful,” I replied. “So please remember to call me Tiffanie.”
“Okay,” agreed Mommy and Seth and Andrew.
But later, Seth said, “Are you finished with your supper, Karen?”
And Andrew said, “Will you play with me, Karen?”
I had to remind both of them that I was Tiffanie.
* * *
When I finished my homework that evening, I stood in front of the mirror. I looked at myself from my head to my feet and back again.
I decided I needed more pizzazz. Maybe my new haircut was ugly, and maybe my glasses and teeth were ugly, but I could still try to look glamorous.
So I painted over my pink nail polish.
I put on sparkly gold polish. A friend of Kristy’s had given it to me.
There. Now I had a beautiful name and very beautiful nails. I was becoming glamorous.
“No Way!”
It was time to make a phone call.
I thought I knew just how to get my former best friend back.
“Mommy?” I asked.
Mommy was in the living room reading to Andrew. She was reading Let’s Be Enemies, which Andrew likes a lot.
“Yes?” replied Mommy.
“May I make a phone call? I need to use the phone in your room so the call will be private.”
“Okay,” said Mommy.
“Thank you!” I cried. I dashed upstairs and into Mommy and Seth’s room. I closed their door.
I dialed Hannie
’s number. I was excited about my idea.
“Hello, Hannie?” I said, when she answered the phone. “It’s me, Karen.”
“Oh … hi,” said Hannie.
“Hannie, I have to tell you something. I am much more beautiful now than I was in school today. I am glamorous. I have a new name — Tiffanie — and I painted my nails sparkly gold. They are the coolest nails in Stoneybrook. So can I be your bridesmaid after all?”
“What did you say your name is?” asked Hannie.
“Tiffanie,” I answered. “Um, Tiffanie Titania Brewer.”
“And what color are your nails?”
“Sparkly gold.”
“But your hair and your teeth are still the same?” asked Hannie.
“Yes,” I admitted.
“Then you can’t be in my wedding,” Hannie told me. “No way! I only want a beautiful, perfect bridesmaid in my wedding. You are not perfect.”
“Oh.” I felt like a broken cookie — the one in the package that no one will eat until all the whole ones have been eaten. I couldn’t think of anything to say to Hannie except, “Good-bye.”
“Good-bye,” replied Hannie.
We hung up.
I almost cried. That was how sad I felt. But then I felt something else, too. I was ANGRY! What Hannie was doing was not fair.
After I got into bed that night, I lay awake for a long time. I made plans. I wasn’t sure how to be perfect, but I had some ideas for how to be more glamorous.
The New Karen
As soon as I woke up the next morning, I hopped out of bed. The first thing I did was check my nails. They looked perfect. They were sparkly and gold and I had not chipped one of them.
Then I looked in the mirror. Yuck.
There were my awful teeth and my awful hair. I tried brushing my hair several different ways. That didn’t help. My hair looked as awful as ever.
But I said to myself in the mirror, “You are Tiffanie. Tiffanie Brewer. That is a beautiful name. And you can be very glamorous.”
I got dressed. then I put on five pink plastic bracelets, and eight rings, one on each finger. I get the rings at the dentist’s office. On each ring is a different colored stone. When the rings were in place, I put on five necklaces. Then I slipped a stretchy blue beaded bracelet over my foot. Nobody in my class had ever worn an ankle bracelet. I would be the first one.