Marcy just shook her head. "Well. That's a surprise, but I should have known. Am I in trouble?"
"Do you consider that you should you be?"
"I don’t think I violated anything on my contract. In this short amount of time I believe that I've come to know you pretty well. I didn't think you would mind if I watched. Did you mind?"
"I did not."
Relieved, Marcy exhaled the breath she had been holding and smiled.
"What did you think of it?" he asked, studying her closely with his intense dark and knowing eyes. The man saw everything it seemed to her.
"Honestly?" Marcy's mind went back and she once again recalled the reverence André had shown for the woman. "I thought it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my life," she said. Marcy knew that the admiration she felt for him showed. That was okay. She wanted it to show. Marcy had nothing but a universe of high regard for André Chevalier.
Marcy saw a faint reflection of astonishment register in his eyes and she quickly said, "Why? What did you think I would think of it?"
André laughed. "You are most charming, ma belle, and you are of course correct. Mon Dieu, you have surprised me, and I am not often surprised. I will explain further in a moment. But first, can you tell me why you should describe that scene as beautiful?"
Marcy's brows drew together while she considered his question. "It was that exposure of self - both yours and hers. I have never had the privilege to see such intimacy. It was like looking at two souls touching."
Restless and suddenly unable to keep still, Marcy surged to her feet and began to pace. "I'm sorry," she said, waving her arms. "I feel like I'm jumping out of my skin, I've been so distracted and confused ever since I saw that video. How did you do it? Reach that level of honesty? Reach that level of intimacy? You made it look so easy."
Marcy came and sat back down beside him. As she expected, he met her eyes with all his sharp attention. "There are so many questions I've wanted to ask you. I wanted to see the rest of the video, too. How did it end? Did Jennifer discover her sexuality? Did Charles find out how to please his wife? Maybe his wife needed to know how to please him? I feel like I got half way through a really good book, and then someone took my book away. Would you mind if I saw the rest of it, André? I want to know what happened."
With a low chuckle he said, "Mais oui, I would not mind at all." André gave Marcy a boyish, irresistible and utterly appealing smile.
What a heartbreaker, Marcy thought as she was caught by that smile. Anyone, male or female, straight, bi or gay, could so easily fall for André Chevalier. The man was a charming, charismatic straight shooter, and he seemed to perfectly understand everything.
"My clients know that all is recorded and available to my staff," he explained. "You, Marcy, have signed the non-disclosure, so this does not present a problem."
"How did that recording switch on, anyway?" Marcy asked. "I swear to God, I just walked in. I didn’t touch anything."
André sat back on the couch and his chest shook with laughter. The man's uninhibited mirth was joyful, light and carefree. Marcy thought she could listen to him laugh all day long.
"Because, ma belle," he said. "I arranged to have that video come on, the moment that you came into the room."
24. Concerning Completion
"What? Why?"
"I was curious, ma belle," he said. "You interest me. I see in you, a beautiful, intelligent woman in her prime. A woman who should be sharing her life with another, or at the very least enjoying sex. Because I am curious, I have made Mike Thompson speak to me of what he knows."
"You did?"
André gave a low chuckle. "It is so very easy, you understand? I merely say, "And how is the beautiful, Marcy? Have you seen her?"
Taking a bite of pear and blue cheese together, André began chewing and nodded with satisfaction as the two tastes ran in concert, complimenting each other.
"You must know, ma belle, that Mike Thompson is not generally a talkative man concerning his private affairs – non. The cards, he holds them close to his chest. And yet his tongue never rests on two subjects only; he can talk by the hour of your daughter, Katie, and of you."
Marcy's head spun. These simple words, proof of Mike's regard, were so wonderful to hear. Initially, Marcy had wondered if she was a passing interest to Mike or if perhaps he was fascinated and only pursuing her because she had refused him.
Now he had told her he loved her, but words were so hard to believe. Finding that he talked constantly to André about her and about Katie? Well. It made something in her chest tighten to an almost painful level.
"II n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé," André said.
Marcy studied him. "What does that mean?" she asked.
"It is a quote from the famous French novelist, Baroness Dudevant. "There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved." André gave her a knowing smile. "Mike cares for you, ma belle, and for your daughter. He has a most high opinion of you both."
Marcy still had no idea what love really was. Was she truly in love this time? But if she was, it would inevitably lead to sex. Confused and upset, she sighed.
"There is an impediment?" André asked, a concerned frown between his eyes.
Marcy didn't know anything for it except to just come out with the problem. "André, I'm generally suspicious and untrusting of men, but I really like Mike. He's been gone only five days and I miss him so much. Mike would be an easy man to love. But I'm just no good at sex."
"Of a certainty, this is a lie, ma belle," André said sitting up straight with a heated vehement expression. "You are self-contained, oui, but inside… oh, I am persuaded that a most passionate woman resides within, no? The embers, they wait, they smolder, yet with a touch, merde! How they would burn! A woman such as yourself is always a most enjoyable partner in bed."
Marcy had to smile at that. How did André manage to give such outrageous compliments without causing offense?
A string of angry French words ran from André's lips, too fast for Marcy to understand even one. "Who has told you that you are not a good lover?" he demanded. "The ex-husband?"
She shrugged. "Well, yeah. Trent always said that I was a lousy lay."
To Marcy's surprise, André gave her a satisfied smile and threw his hands in the air. "And so, it is as I expected! The words spoken by a fool – the imbécile that was your husband. We shall let them pass, if you please. They waste our time."
"But it isn't only that," she said. "I just don’t seem to be able to enjoy sex. I've never even had an orgasm."
André sat forward. "If you do not enjoy sex, and you have not had the climax – bah! Je vous assure, it is nothing. It is only that you were with the wrong man, ma belle."
"Really?" Marcy asked, and even she could hear the pathetic ring of hope in her voice. "Can you help me?"
"Of a certainty," André said. "I can, of course, like that." He snapped his fingers. "This is a most easy matter. You trust me, and you care for me – as I care for you. It would be a great honor to reveal the pleasure that has been hidden from you for so much of your life."
Marcy figured that she could lay back, shut her eyes and listen to André talk all day long. The way André said "pleasure" drawing the 's" out was so incredibly appealing. His seductively deep voice and beguiling accent were such a distraction sometimes.
Marcy withheld a sudden impulse to laugh. This was madness! "Say boss, I have a big favor. Can you help me have my first orgasm?" She knew she could rely on André for anything. But what an insane request!
André stood up, and began to speak with a very thick accent, while waving his arms and gesticulating, speaking mainly in French, while throwing in a few English words. Marcy frowned, recognizing only 'une caresse,' meaning 'a caress,' and 'je te desire,' which was flattering, really, because she knew they translated to mean: 'I want you.'
It seemed that André, amazing guy that he was, found her sexually
attractive which boosted her confidence. It also seemed that whenever he got excited or passionate about something, André became very French.
Marcy's face heated at the idea of getting naked with him. Did she want to? No way. He was her friend, and he was her employer, two things she valued and never wished to jeopardize.
But what else could she do? She could never tell Mike the embarrassing truth about her inability to orgasm. She couldn’t risk it. For a start, what would he think of her?
André paused from his agitated pacing, and gave her a penetrating look. "Do not imagine that you are alone in this problem, mais non! J'assure! Many women never find a key to their sexuality, and it is why, mon Dieu, I have so much work! It is a little God humor, I think." He gave her a brilliant smile. "A mischief that the creator plays between a man and a woman."
"Un homme," he began, explaining with his hands. "With the man, the male flesh before him becomes hard. It swells red with blood, it weeps, it pulses - it commands the attention. Something must be done, n'est-ce pas? Even a stupid man can soon discover what must happen to release his seed and to find relief. But the woman? Non, elle est très difficile. It is not so obvious, comprenez vous?"
This rapid tirade made Marcy feel better. She hadn't really considered it, but what he said made sense. Probably lots of women go through their entire life never learning how to reach orgasm or to fully enjoy sex.
Unfortunately, Marcy was one of them.
"Do not fear," André said. "The instinct and animal need is there, ma belle, in all of us. It is just that with a woman, it is not always so straightforward. Yet if a woman pays attention to her mind and body, she can learn to climax even more easily than a man."
André sat back down beside her once more, and took her hands in his. "It would be a great joy for me, to do this for you, Marcy. Why? Because we would have fun and laugh together, oh mais oui, there would be much to laugh about. And yet, I do not believe this privilege of helping you discover your sexuality is mine to share. Can you not think of another who would be more suited to this task?"
Marcy gave him a wan smile. She knew that they were both thinking of André's Security Officer, Mike Thompson. It was embarrassing to ask this of André, and yet how could she ask it of Mike?
"It would be a lot of pressure to put on a man," Marcy explained. "You're experienced in these matters. What if this poor man didn't succeed? What if I can't climax? Your self-confidence wouldn't be shaken, André, but the man I'm thinking of, he may be really upset. And who's to say? I may be a really, really tough case, you know."
It isn’t like I haven’t tried, Marcy mused. There was a point where I really wanted to have a climax. I even bought a vibrator. But in the end it was just too hard. For some reason, my body just doesn’t want to go there.
25. The Plan
André squeezed her hands. "Listen to me, ma belle," he said. "Mike and his wife, Barbara, came to me. That is how we met. Did he tell you?"
"Yes," Marcy said.
"Barbara, she had been faking the orgasm. She was not sexually fulfilled and had been hiding what she craved. Such is not an uncommon problem, to feel needless shame for one's desires. Perhaps one day Mike will speak to you of this - the details are not important. The essential point is this: At that time, when he and his wife came to me, I told Mike Thompson that love and sex are two very different matters. Mike, you understand, is the romantic. Sex and making love are the same for him. And yet for his wife, they were both very different."
"Okay," Marcy said uncertainly.
"For you, Marcy, particularly with your difficulty and the woman that you are, it is best to have someone that you love help you resolve this, despite the risks. You may very well be the romantic also. Sex and love may be united, one and the same for you, too, no? Eh bien, Mike should have this very great honor and pleasure. For I think we both know, ma belle, that he is yours as you are his. Do you love him?"
Marcy shrugged and gave a deep sigh. "I don’t believe that I understand love, really. I am beginning to consider that Mike is essential to my happiness. I think about him all the time. I want to make him happy, too. If I listed who is most vital to me, I would put my daughter, Katie at the top of my list. I would give my life for her." She paused, bit her lower lip, and then met his steady gaze. "Mike would be next on that list."
André grinned, released her hands, and threw his joyously into the air. "Très bon! Did you tell him this?"
"God, no! How can I? He'll want to make love to me, and I can't orgasm! I don't want to fake it with him, and I don’t want to lie, but I've never gotten much out of sex. The subject is so embarrassing. Do you see the problem?"
"But yes, of course," André said. "Yet while this is not his problem, it is most assuredly yours. Mike is not such a poor creature. He would be honored to assist you." He rubbed his hand over his clean shaven jaw, clearly considering the matter.
"Wait," Marcy said. "I just remembered. Tell me why you were surprised at my reaction to the recording of you and Jennifer?"
André's eyes were bright as his lips curled up into a slow and easy smile. "It was a most unusual reaction. You said of the scene, "I thought it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my life." Out of a thousand women, nine-hundred and ninety-nine would have asked me questions about Domination, submission and sex. You did not observe sex, and partly that is understandable. You have avoided the subject for many years. It was what you did see that interested me. This was the surprise."
"Oh?"
"Most certainly. Do you know why I so enjoy the BDSM environment? No games, no pretense, no acting. It is because of intimacy and honesty that I am drawn to this lifestyle. A Dom or Master can know his sub or slave more completely in one day - body, mind, heart and soul - than a husband might know his wife of twenty years."
"Bondage and submission I can understand, I think," Marcy said. "Each to his own, of course, but it's the sadism and masochism part that I don’t get."
"You are thinking of accepting and giving pain?"
"Yeah, that just seems wrong somehow as part of making love."
André smiled. "Ah, but just like Mike, you are confusing "making love" with the sexual pleasures, do you see? May I suggest that you experience pain during sex before you disregard it?" André said with a seductive wink. "All sensations are available to a Dom, and pain is simply one of them. I myself am very attracted to it. Why? Because there is no more honest reaction from a sub than when you cause them pain."
Marcy considered this, and it made sense. Creepy weird sense, of course, but what did she know? She couldn’t even climax.
"The sincere response to pain cannot be concealed," André went on. "Some people lie in all things; they hide, conceal and pretend. Such are long term habits, you understand, often routine behaviors that even they are unaware of. No one really knows these people, for they let no one in. Yet when they submit to pain, these pretenses disappear. All that is false burns away from the cleansing fire of overwhelming sensation."
He patted her soothingly on the knee. "Pain is not the most important tool in Dominance and submission, yet it is a most worthy tool. Pain breaks down barriers and defenses," André said. "And for intensifying the orgasm?" He kissed his fingers and flung them outward in a gesture of perfection. "There are few superior devices a Dom has to achieve such, other than varying degrees of pain."
Marcy laughed. "Yeah, right. Well, I'm not too worried about an intense orgasm. I just want to have a normal little one first."
André shot out of his seat, and slapped himself on the forehead, speaking a long string of French. "Imbécile. I know how to solve your problem. I tell you ma belle, you shall teach yourself to climax. Oui! It is obvious. You are a smart, independent woman. The matter of the inability to orgasm has been your problem for many years, yes?"
She shrugged. "Yes."
"Then you should have the satisfaction of solving this puzzle. Such will not defeat you, no! For with the knowledge I sh
all provide, you shall learn how simple a matter it is to reach orgasm."
"Okay."
"There is another truth, Marcy," he added. "If a woman cannot make herself reach a climax, then why should she expect a man to be able to do so? How can a man teach a woman to orgasm better than a woman can teach herself? A woman must know and learn her own body."
André began to explain what he would give her, to help her to discover her sexual self. He would provide her a package of information, and videos, and answer any of her questions. In his opinion the matter would be easily solved, of course.
"And when you have made yourself climax, ma belle, then you will only need to learn how to climax with a man. Mike will teach you this. He is not inexperienced. Me? I have taught him myself, how to please a woman. Do not fear, for all will be as it should be."
André stood up and held out his hand. "Come," he said and looked at his watch. "There is time. While you enjoy watching the recording of the indomitable Jennifer, I will prepare something for you to study at home. And perhaps, a toy or two, yes?" he added with a naughty wink.
Marcy blushed and André laughed merrily at her response. She took his hand and stood up. It was exciting, it was frightening, it was nerve racking and super scary, but the die was cast.
I'm going to learn how to climax, Marcy thought. I'm going to figure it out myself.
To her delight the challenge didn’t seem too daunting.
26. Finishing the Book
"Do you wish me to stay?" André asked when Marcy had sat down in the security room, ready to watch the show.
Marcy grinned. "André, please don’t take this the wrong way, but no - and not just no – but, hell no!"
He gave her his good-natured laugh. "While you watch, ma belle, pay attention to your body. You may find something that arouses you, yes? Such would be very well to know, I think, for when you masturbate."
Marcy's cheeks heated. "André, just when I consider that I'm doing really well, and that I'm no prude, you make me feel like one."