“Frick.” I reached into his pocket and prayed his phone wasn’t password protected and quickly scrolled through the last few calls, praying Jaymeson would be one of them.
He was.
I pressed the green button. “Zane, we need to go NOW.”
He was moving faster, but still heavy, still talking nonsense, still about two steps away from looking like he was going to collapse and start rocking back and forth.
“Hello?” Jaymeson answered on the second ring.
“Something’s wrong with Zane!” I yelled. “No marshmallows and girls are chasing us, and I’m on the stairs and—“
He hung up on me.
Well, that worked out well!
“Zane,” I shoved his phone in my pocket, “We have like five flights of stairs and the girls are running at us, I need you to do me a favor.”
His breathing was heavy as he leaned against me and nodded. “Okay.”
“Think about your marshmallows.”
His smile was faint.
“The sweet taste, the way they smell, the way they calm you down, think about your marshmallows. Because if those girls catch us you’re probably going to get taken advantage of, and any hope of seeing more marshmallows disappears right along with your dignity, alright?”
His breathing slowed, and then he locked eyes with me. “Alright.”
“Good. Now. Run.”
Hand in hand, we jogged up the stairs, he continued to stumble, and then I saw not just Jaymeson at the top of the stairs but Alec and Demetri Daniels, and Lincoln Greene.
In the back of my mind, I had a minor freak out, I mean the guys were all so famous I should be terrified. Instead, it was like Zane’s family had just arrived and were going to unleash hell. They all looked pissed, but not at me.
“Almost there.” I ushered Zane forward until finally, we both collapsed in a heap on the grass just below the beach house.
Alec turned around and motioned to two huge dudes who made their way down the stairs and stood, arms crossed.
Bodyguards?
Duh! Why didn’t Zane just take his bodyguards? Unless they weren’t his?
Ugh, I was too exhausted. And was officially swearing off stairs for the next ten years.
“Hey,” I reached for Zane. “Are you okay?”
He jerked away from me. “Don’t.”
Jaymeson sighed a curse and helped me to my feet. “I’ll take you home.”
“No!” I pulled away. “I’m worried. This isn’t normal!”
Demetri winced and shared a look with Alec before nodding his head at me. “Jay’s right, Fallon, is it?”
I hung my head. “Yeah.”
“Nothing about this is normal.” Lincoln said under his breath before reaching for Zane’s arm, but Zane refused to get up. Instead, he crossed his arms and sat on the grass like a petulant child.
“This is stupid.” Glaring, I pointed at Zane. “You need to get off your ass and get in the house. They could be taking pictures of this.”
“Good point,” Jaymeson added. “The guys will get him inside, and I’ll take you home.” This time, he reached for me.
“I drove.” I took a step back and stared at Zane, waiting for him to respond.
He looked right through me, angry, like it was my fault.
“Zane, you need to get up.”
“Go to hell.” He finally stood on wobbly legs while Jaymeson came up beside him.
“Excuse me?” I lunged for him, but Lincoln Greene, movie star Lincoln Greene, held me back by the arm. “This isn’t NORMAL! What aren’t you people getting?”
“Welcome to Hollywood,” Zane said in a bitter tone and marched off while Lincoln pulled me against his chest, probably afraid I was going to chase after his friend and launch myself against his body. But I had no strength left, even if it did sound like a really solid plan.
“He doesn’t mean it.” Lincoln finally released me. “He’s just going through a hard time.”
I pressed my hands to my face and took a few deep breaths. “He had a meltdown.”
Lincoln winced.
“Because he forgot a freaking marshmallow.”
Jaymeson stepped forward. “Fallon, you should go.”
“But—”
“Now.” His steely gaze said there was no room for arguing. “Go to the press about this, and I’ll not only sue your family, but make sure your parents lose everything including their house…over a crush.”
My mouth dropped open.
Mine wasn’t the only shocked expression of the group.
Alec and Demetri looked ready to pass out while Lincoln cursed. “Jackass,” under his breath.
Tears clouded my vision as I shoved past everyone and made my way to my car.
As luck would have it, my Jetta refused to start.
Which meant, I was walking.
A knock sounded at my window scaring the crap out of me. I quickly wiped my cheeks and rolled down the glass. “What?”
Alec held up his hands. “Whoa, I’m not the enemy here. I live down by the beach. I’ll take you home. That is, unless you want to stay here sobbing in front of the house because a privileged rock star just yelled at you?”
I smiled at that. “I’d rather not.”
“Didn’t think so.” He opened the car door and led me over to a brand new black Range Rover. “Hop in before he apologizes.”
“Yeah right.”
“In three, two, one—”
Jay came running out of the house.
I hopped in the SUV so fast that my elbow hit the side in an effort to slam the door.
“Good choice.” Alec started the engine and flashed me a devastating smile. “We have ten minutes with Seaside traffic. Start at the beginning.”
Chapter Sixteen
Zane
“EVERY TIME,” GRANDMA WHISPERED in her frail voice. “Every single time you get sad or scared…know that I’ll always be with you.” Her knotted arthritic hand touched my face. “I love you, Zane.”
“But…” I sobbed against the blankets, the blankets that smelled like her vanilla perfume and roses. “How will I know you’re with me? How will I know if I can’t feel you!” She was dying. And it was my fault. She always gave me her food. Every single time. She said I was a growing boy. And I was always hungry, but she needed meatloaf too! I told her so all the time, but she said she was fine with just a few bites.
She always gave me the bigger portion.
And watered down her own milk so I’d have some for dinner.
It was one of my favorites. Cold milk.
Memories of better days assaulted me.
I was only seven.
She took my sisters and me in when our parents abandoned us for drugs.
And now she was leaving too.
Why did everyone leave?
Sobs wracked my body as Grandma hugged me with all the strength she had—it wasn’t much, and I knew the time was close, the doctor said her heart was too weak after the last attack.
“Zane, look at your grandma, right now, young man,” she ordered in her strict voice.
My lips trembled as hiccups escaped between them. “Y-yes, Grandma.”
“That’s my boy.” She nodded, then reached behind her and pulled out a bag of marshmallows. “I’ll always be in your heart…but sometimes, we need reminders of the happier things, yes?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She dumped a handful of marshmallows into my hand then a handful into hers and knocked fists with me. “Even when I’m gone, we’ll always have the marshmallows, and every time you’re sad, or afraid, or nervous, you eat a marshmallow and know your grandma is eating one with you—in heaven.”
“They have marshmallows in heaven?” I asked, relieved she wouldn’t be without one of my favorite foods. She’d claimed it was the only way to get me to be a big boy and learn how to use the bathroom. A marshmallow trail to the toilet with a few colored ones dropped in.
“Of course they do!??
? She laughed and then started coughing. “Now, let’s eat some marshmallows, and when we’re done, I might just let you sing me a song.”
“I love eating marshmallows with you, Grandma.”
“And I love your voice, little Zane.”
We each ate a marshmallow, and then I started singing the lullaby All Through The Night.
I sang the last line and kissed her cheek, just as her eyes opened, she whispered, “Love you, my boy.”
And ten marshmallows fell to the floor.
I was in the house, pacing, eating marshmallows like my life depended on it, waiting for the calm to settle over me, only realizing it wasn’t.
There was no calm.
Holy shit, I’d finally snapped.
And brought Fallon down with me.
I didn’t want to face her.
I refused to see her again.
Because she’d seen me at my worst.
And my worst was ugly.
So ugly.
Pain swirled in my chest, pounded a rhythm along my ribs, a daunting, hopeless rhythm, that I just wished—God save me, I wished it would stop.
“I threatened to sue her,” Jay whispered taking a seat next to me on the couch. “And I may have said something about losing her house.”
I grunted. “That’s excessive.”
“Is it?” Jaymeson’s voice rose an octave. “To want to protect you from yourself? Protect the media from the truth?”
“Hah, the truth.” I smashed a marshmallow between my fingers and popped it into my mouth. “The truth is, Zane Andrews is crazy. There I said it. Elephant gone.”
“You’re not crazy.” Demetri wandered into the room, I really didn’t remember inviting him, but whatever. Had the whole world witnessed my shame? Yeah, pretty much.
She did.
The one girl I would have kept it from.
Maybe it was better that way. We were better apart.
I was getting too comfortable.
I was holding her hand in public because I liked her, for God’s sakes!
“Now Jay? Jay may be crazy. I mean England over here just threatened a poor girl with glasses who looked ready to puke because she was so worried you were about two seconds away from dying.”
My head jerked to attention. “She thought I was dying?”
“You looked like you were dying.” Lincoln joined in from the kitchen tossing me a water bottle. “Drink up.”
“Why are you guys here?”
“She called.” Jay gave me a serious look. “While you were having an epic anxiety attack over marshmallows, she called, and we were just coming back here to take a break and go over some of the songs for the soundtrack when the call came in. You’re lucky. Lucky she called me, but lucky that we were here too. Alec and Demetri’s bodyguards just flew in since we’ve been having issues on set with fans…”
I sighed. Refusing to make eye contact with any of them. “Well, thanks.”
“At the risk of getting cussed out or potentially punched,” Demetri offered. “I think you need to talk to someone, Zane.”
“Who the hell do you think you are?” I roared, jumping to my feet.
Jay slammed his arm between me and an approaching and very pissed Demetri.
“No.” He shoved Jay away. “Stop babying him. You want the truth?” Demetri snarled. “You’re acting like a spoiled jackass! Hell, my niece has better manners than you do when she’s throwing tantrums. Granted, all she wants is a tit full of milk but hell, you’re a freaking mess, man, and that’s me sugarcoating as much shit as I can.” He shook his blond head. “You need to talk to someone about the anxiety attacks. Because if you don’t, it’s just going to build until you end up a true hermit, afraid of your own shadow. At least listen to your friends, the people that care about you. Hell, listen to Mama Jay.”
Jaymeson flipped him off.
“You know if England starts yelling at innocent nineteen-year-old girls with a heart of gold in order to protect your ass, something is seriously, seriously wrong.”
“Is she okay?” I backed down, my shoulders slumping with shame. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Like hell. You knew exactly what you were doing.” Demetri rolled his eyes. “You were pushing her away, doing the whole, look I’m a monster, you’re better off without me.”
“He’s scary accurate in his assessments of human nature,” Lincoln muttered under his breath.
I smirked and nodded my head in agreement.
“So…” Jay stood. “Maybe we both apologize to the girl you like?”
“It’s not like that,” I said quickly.
You could have heard a damn pin drop in that room.
I stared blankly at every face, hoping that my body language gave no hints to my true feelings. “Guys, seriously. She doesn’t fawn all over me, won’t even take my picture which is weird, now that I think about it, and I’m paying her to basically hang out with me during the day so I can write outside of the house…I feel stifled inside, but am terrified to go outside, ergo, Fallon.”
“Does she know that?” Lincoln piped up. “Because the concern I saw on her pretty little face was anything but platonic.”
“Don’t call her pretty,” I shot back.
Lincoln held up his hands. “Why do I suddenly feel the need to cover my junk? Am I seriously not allowed to notice that she’s pretty?”
“Gorgeous eyes.” Demetri nodded.
“Really cute body too.” Jay spread his arms wide and grinned.
“You guys are complete assholes,” I muttered.
Lincoln shrugged. “All I’m saying is that, what’s the pretty girl going to do when she finds out you’ve been using her to get your musical orgasm on? You gonna leave her high and dry and return to your marshmallow-addicted lifestyle? Is that how this works?”
I groaned. “You make it sound worse than it is. It’s not like I’m sleeping with her.”
“But you’ve kissed her,” Jay pointed out.
“How do you even KNOW that?” I yelled.
“AH HAH!” Demetri raised his hand for a high-five from Jay. “Good one, brother, good one.”
“Hell,” I declared as my shoulders slumped. “I walked right into that one.”
“Kissing…” Lincoln peeled back some of the paper on his water bottle. “Is sometimes a lot more intimate than sex.”
Jay gave him a face. “Please don’t use that word in my presence. I’m fully aware of what goes on behind closed doors between you and my little sister.”
Lincoln grinned shamelessly. He’s lucky Jay hasn’t run him over with his car yet.
“I highly doubt there will be any more kissing in the future,” I admitted, talking over them. “Since I yelled at her after she rescued me.”
“Aw, you’re like the damsel in distress.” Demetri winked.
“Please don’t use the word damsel and then wink at me ever again.” I wagged my finger at him. “Ever. Again.”
He held up his hands in innocence, still smirking.
I looked around the living room. “Wait, you said you were all here, where’s Alec?”
Demetri yawned.
Jaymeson stared at his hands.
And Lincoln took a giant swig of water.
“Guys…”
“Oh.” Demetri pointed back at the door. “He texted about five minutes ago that he found Fallon crying in her car. It wouldn’t start, so he drove her home.”
Air whooshed out of my lungs like someone had just sucker punched me in the gut. “She was crying?”
“Well, look at it this way, she just had two of the biggest celebrities on the planet yell at her, while one threatened to sue her, yeah, I’d probably cry too.” Demetri said in a low voice. “But only if birds are involved.”
“Huh?” I blinked. “What is with you and avian creatures?”
“Give them a fancy name all you want.” Demetri shuddered. “A bird is still a bird. And a bird will always be the spawn of Satan.”
“Alright then.” Lincoln jumped to his feet. “Not to change the subject, but we need to go over soundtrack songs, and now that Zane has eaten his weight in marshmallows…”
“But,” I said, frowning. “I should talk to Fallon.”
The guys all started laughing in unison.
“Hah!” Demetri slapped his leg then sobered. “Oh hell guys, he’s serious.”
“Of course I’m serious!” I roared.
“Sit.” Lincoln shoved me onto the couch. “Texting her isn’t enough, calls will be sent to voice mail. Let Alec talk to her first, go visit her after she’s cooled off.”
I didn’t want to wait.
I wanted to run after her and apologize.
But the guys, all of them, were either married or in committed relationships, and I’d never had that, never done that.
Which begged the question—when did I start thinking of her as more than a friend?
Chapter Seventeen
Fallon
IF TWO WEEKS AGO anyone would have told me that lead singer of AD2, Alec Daniels, was going to be driving me to my house. I would have laughed in their face then stuttered out a jumble of words that made no sense.
But I was too angry to even speak.
So I stared at the really nice dashboard and wondered how many cows had to die to make all that leather.
The seats were comfortable.
And I was immediately set at ease when my feet kicked at a pack of size two diapers.
He may be a rockstar, but he wasn’t a bachelor, as if I needed further proof, a huge car seat took up half of the space in the back, complete with one of those mommy mirrors and enough toys hanging from the handle that the poor child probably experienced sensory overload every single car ride.
“So,” Alec tapped his lean fingers against the steering wheel, the beat in the background was unmistakable, Gabe Hyde, another huge music name who’d gone on tour with AD2. I needed to blot that out of my memory if I was ever going to find my voice.
Last summer I’d gone to their concert, mainly because Mags wouldn’t let me say no.
But still.
I had been at their sold-out concert in Portland.
And now, I was in his car.
What was this life?