Chapter 5
After a-day-and-a-half without returned phone calls, with no change in news and no Delmari, reality slowly trickled in.
He really wasn’t coming.
A life without Delmari would be a world without rain. Dry. Desolate. Unrelenting. A life I didn’t want any part of. I held in my screams, fought back my tears and destroyed every pillow in my bedroom. I shouldn’t have left him. I should’ve gone down with him. Instead, I ran like a weak little Drea who thought she actually had something to live for.
Fat drops of rain ran down the strands of hair clinging to my face and dripped off my chin. I didn’t find it ironic it was raining. It just figured. One more thing that would try to rip me in two. One more thing I wished I’d never see again.
I closed my eyes. The vivid picture of the Kember’s ocher gaze and black flowing robe played over and over again. It was burned in my mind. I’d find the bastard, and when I did, I’d kill him myself—or die trying.
A few feet from where I stood, a vast blue tent covered hundreds of chairs and Delmari’s black casket. Common sense told me to take cover under it, but it was pointless. I was too numb to feel the cold; too detached to feel my wet jeans and hoodie sticking to my body. All I could do was watch.
Long lines of Kembers and Dreas walked by his casket, paying their last respects. A few of the females actually cried. I bit my lip. They had no reason to. It’s not like their life had flipped upside down. Nothing changed for them. They’d go home and live their lives and never again look back on this moment. I took a few deep breaths and wiped the droplets off my cheeks. Focus Taylee. Find the Kember.
One by one, I studied the face and eyes of each person who passed. I balled my fists, my nails cutting into my palms.
“You’re going to freeze, not to mention ruin your clothes.”
I didn’t turn. I didn’t speak. The deep, carefree tone that usually lifted my spirits had no effect on me today.
Skyler’s suit jacket draped over my shoulders, bathing me in the warmth his body left behind. It surprised me I could still feel—that something in this life could be warm. With both hands, he turned me around. The rain flattened his short brown hair and ran down his nose. A sympathetic smile creased his lips as his thumbs wiped, what was most likely mascara, under my eyes.
Despite my mood mirroring the weather, I managed a weak smile and motioned toward my best friend. “I didn’t know you owned a suit.”
Skyler pushed strands of my wet hair behind my ears and shook his head. “I don’t even know what to say…” He pulled me into a big hug, and I rested against his chest.
It didn’t help the ache. It didn’t get rid of the hurt, but at least something held me together.
“I’m really sorry, Tay,” he whispered in my ear. “You know I’m here for you. Always.”
Tears threatened to spill, so I pulled back and stood tall. “It’s—I’m fine. I can handle it.”
Skyler tilted his head. I knew he wouldn’t argue—especially with me.
A hand gripped my shoulder, and I turned. Joshua looked like he’d gotten as much sleep as I had: zilch. The pain in his hazel eyes cut through me. His sandy blond curls looked disheveled, and it probably had nothing to do with the rain. He and Delmari had been best friends since before entering the Kember Academy when they were fourteen.
“I should’ve been there,” he whispered. “I should’ve been…”
The child in me wanted to bury my head in his chest and bawl. “You were with Skyler, where you were supposed to be.” I almost kicked myself for wondering why he hadn’t been there. Delmari would’ve lived if he was. No one stood a chance at taking them both on. Like Delmari, Joshua had the reputation of kicking ass and taking names.
“Aiden will take care of you.” He presented such confidence I would’ve believed him, had I not already met the guy. “If you need anything, I don’t care what time it is, you call.”
His words brought me a grain of comfort, even though I’d never take him up on his offer. I forced a nod, trying to make my voice light. “I will.”
He gave my shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. “Where’s Aiden?”
I motioned toward the willow tree Mr. Antisocial stood against. He glanced up and met my gaze, his face and posture stiff. Although I’d never admit it to him, his hearing impressed me. Like Joshua, and the rest of the Kembers here, he wore his black button-up shirt and suit pants: a sign of respect.
Joshua motioned over to him. “I’m going to go say hello. Save us a seat under the tent.”
Skyler grabbed my hand and led me toward the crowd. Kill me now. The last thing I wanted was to be where people could judge and criticize the relationship I’d had with Delmari. If they were smart, they’d know today wasn’t the day to cross me.
We reached the tent, where everyone had begun to be seated, and sat in the back row. I sunk down in the chair, focusing on nothing but the fact that we had a quick escape route once it ended.
Minutes later, Aiden sat on the other side of me. His damp hair hung in his eyes and water dripped off the wavy strands around his ears. He never once looked at me or even acknowledged my existence. Déjà vu. I think we’d only exchanged ten words in the last two days. Maybe because I never left my room, but I doubted it.
The preacher, with deepset eyes and a sharp nose, ironically looked like a vulture. He stood to talk and, as horrible as it might sound, I zoned out. I didn’t want to hear it—any of it. Lost and confused, I twisted the stem of the rose Skyler had jacked from Delmari’s casket. Part of me still couldn’t believe this all happened. This had to be someone else’s funeral. I let myself believe that. Someday I’d have to face the facts, but that was the good thing about someday—it wasn’t today. I pushed it away and put my thoughts elsewhere.
When the service was over, Skyler threw an arm around my shoulders and pulled me to a start. “Taylee, Taylee, Taylee. I’ve missed you like crazy.”
I laughed under my breath, hoping he didn’t notice how off it sounded, and gave him silent props for the subject change. “So you have to sing a song about it? Please don’t tell me you’ve turned into one of those stupid musicals on me—you know I hate those.”
He tilted his head to the grey sky. “Still a pain in the ass, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, but you like my ass.”
“Everyone does.” He bumped me with his hip. “So Aiden’s pretty cool, huh?”
Speaking of ass. “Yeah, if you like having a parole officer twenty-four seven.”
“It can’t be that bad. I mean, I know he’s pretty serious and likes to keep to himself, but he’s got a reputation most Kembers would die for. He’s already killed tons of Rygons. Joshua said if anyone else had been assigned to you, he’d be worried. That says a lot about the guy, you know.”
I stared, puzzled. How did he know all this crap about Aiden?
“He was Joshua’s apprentice the last two months of his training.” The question must have been written on my face. “Aiden gave him a run for his money, and you know how awesome Joshua is.” He shook his head. “That was like six years ago. Wait until you see him fight. He’s freakin’ amazing.”
I huffed. This wasn’t the time to reevaluate my perception of Aiden—I didn’t want to. We walked in silence for a moment longer, and I finally couldn’t handle it anymore. “Do you sense anyone who could’ve done this?”
He didn’t answer right away. A line formed on his forehead as he concentrated. Skyler’s psychometry ability allowed him to look into someone’s mind and read their intent. His gift didn’t come with restrictions or rules like mine had. “No…it’s a lot of minds to sift through, but I don’t feel anyone with bad motives toward Delmari,” he whispered.
My eyes widened in disbelief. “No one?”
His hand rubbed up and down my arm. “It’s okay, Tay. They’ll catch him. It’ll just take more than two days.”
“I’ve gotta find him,” I whispered fiercely. “He’s gotta be here.” I
jerked my head in all directions.
Skyler’s hand, hanging around my shoulders, seized my jaw and held my head in place. “You don’t need to worry about this right now—or ever. Ian won’t rest until they get him. Plus, Aiden and Joshua are keeping an eye out. You take this time to grieve.”
I scowled at him. I should’ve known he’d say something dumb like that. “It must be nice to know if you don’t get a basketball scholarship, you’ll have a promising future as a shrink. That way you could deliver all your bad talks to people who need them.”
“Ha- ha. Very funny.” He released my head and kicked a pinecone as we walked.
“Sorry, Doctor.”
He hesitated. His gaze drifted across the cemetery. “While we’re on the subject of my ‘bad’ talks…”
“I knew it! I knew—”
“I may as well get this out. Don’t go all Taylee on me; promise you’ll deal with this the right way.”
I stopped walking and jerked from under his arm. “All Taylee on you? What does that mean?”
Skyler put his hands up in surrender. “I know how you are, and you’re gonna try to pretend like it didn’t happen and bottle yourself up in misery. I don’t want you to do that. I want you to talk to me.”
“I don’t deal with things the way you do.”
He laughed lightly, probably his feeble attempt to keep the tension away. “Yeah ’cause you don’t deal with them at all.”
I pointed an accusing finger at him. “Don’t do this right now.”
He glanced at the wet blades of grass. When his eyes met mine, concern lightened them. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”
Skyler didn’t need to worry about me. Couldn’t he see that? I could take care of myself. “Help me and I’ll forgive you.”
He sighed and wiped the rain off his face. “Why do I always fall for these conditions?”
“Because I’m your best friend and you love me.”
“Maybe it’s a bad thing, you know that?”
I elbowed him.
He grunted. “We’re going to get into trouble aren’t we?”
I grabbed his hand and pulled him forward. “Don’t be lame. I just want you to help me find him. Take me to every Kember who has a hidden motive.”
Skyler exhaled and spun me around so fast I nearly fell. “What’re you gonna do when you find him? Punch him?” He pointed to my feet. “Throw one of your shoes at him? He killed Delmari. He’s lethal. I-I can’t even begin to understand how much you’re hurting, but you’ve gotta let the Authority handle it. Promise me.”
Why did I even expect him to understand? I almost shoved him away, but before I did, my gaze shifted past his shoulder. I did a double take and my breath caught. Through a break in the crowd, fifty yards away, a man stood, watching. His black cloak ruffled lightly in the wind and his ocher eyes pierced mine. It was him. The Kember was here. I froze, staring.
Then it all hit.
Adrenaline rushed through my veins. I shouldered Skyler and sprinted toward the man. He’d taken Delmari from me. Ruined my life. Sparks of rage ignited into a full-fledged flame. Shoving through the sea of black, I knocked people out of the way as I weaved through. Angry comments didn’t affect my pace. Now he’d pay for what he did.
I burst through the crowd to where he stood. The man’s lips twitched into a smirk and his eyebrow rose.
I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t slow. I lunged.
My body rammed into his, and I knocked him off his feet, slamming him onto the ground. Hot tears welled in my eyes, blurring my vision. A scream erupted from my throat. My fists connected with his face, blow after blow. The man struggled beneath me, screaming something I couldn’t understand. Yells from the surrounding crowd demanded I stop. I couldn’t. He had to pay. Blinded by fury and hatred, I swung my fists harder than I ever had.
A set of hands ripped me away. By their strength, I knew they belonged to a Kember. I thrashed against them, screaming, “He killed Delmari! Let me go!”
He did, but only after someone else seized me.
“Taylee! Calm down.” Aiden gripped my forearms and spun me around to face him. After a moment, the angry tears impairing my vision slowly rolled down my cheeks.
Heart still hammering, I jerked away to get a good look at the man. Red hair, bloody face, blue eyes. A nauseous feeling crept through my stomach. It wasn’t him. I blinked, sure there was some mistake. I tackled the Kember—took him to the ground. He couldn’t have escaped. I looked at Skyler for help, like he could explain what happened. He and Joshua, along with a hundred other bystanders, stared wide-eyed and appalled.
Son of a bitch.
They dragged me away after that, but I didn’t care. I hadn’t wanted to be there in the first place. Plus, I attracted a lot more attention to myself than I’d wanted.
Aiden and I followed Ian through the Authority building and back to his sprawling office. Ian told me to sit, so I did and prepared myself for the ultimate bitch session. After enduring the lecture of the century, I tried to explain what happened. No one believed me. Go figure.
“Taylee…” Ian peered out the window. “I think you need to see a psychiatrist. You have a lot of built-up anger. Obviously. You can’t take it out on some random Drea.”
“I’m not going crazy. The man who killed Delmari was here.” I pointed toward the window. “He—he smiled at me right before I tackled him.”
“We’ve established he wasn’t here. No one else saw him.”
“I doubt anyone else was even looking for him. I wouldn’t attack some random Drea for the fun of it.” I shook my head rapidly. “I won’t talk to a counselor. I don’t need help—I know what I saw.”
Ian closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. “You’re seeing things and acting irrationally—”
I gritted my teeth. “I didn’t see anything that wasn’t there.”
Ian walked over, planted his palms on his desk and leaned forward. “This isn’t the first time you’ve done something like this. Excuses or not, you have the tendency to be violent and…” he paused, letting out a slow breath, “I’ve been lenient, but you can’t hit people when they make you angry. It’s…it’s savage.”
“If you’re referring to what I did to Joel Anderson, Delmari said—”
“Delmari is dead!” He slammed his fist on the wood, all signs of his stoicism disappeared. “No one else has the strength and patience he possessed to clean up your messes. It’s time you grow up and start acting responsibly. You’ll see a psychiatrist and I don’t want another word about it.”
My chest throbbed. Tears stung my eyes. “But—”
“I mean it.”
“Give her a few weeks.” Aiden’s low voice sounded from the back of the room. In three long strides he stood by my chair. His calm tone depleted most of the tension. “You’re dealing with a seventeen-year-old girl who hasn’t slept or eaten in two days and is trying to cope with death. Give her some time.”
Ian eyed him warily. “She could hurt someone—or herself.”
Aiden stood a little straighter. “No one will get hurt. If I don’t see an improvement, she’ll see a counselor.”
I scoffed. “No, I won’t.”
He studied me evenly. “Yes, you will, because you don’t want any more complications in your life.”
I glared but didn’t dare argue. He was getting me out of spilling my guts to some random doc. A part of me should’ve been grateful and would’ve been, had he actually believed me. I knew what I saw, and I wouldn’t rest until I brought Delmari justice.