message? Because I’d forgotten that Kian would probably be surrounded by a team of people tomorrow? Because I still had to go to that interview with my roommate, or she’d have my head on a stake?
I was so screwed.
“What’s wrong?”
I screamed, lurching in the air, as I grabbed at my chest. I was where he’d been, waiting at the side of the building, perched on the edge, so I could see when he arrived. It should have given me time to prepare. Nope, that hadn’t happened. I’d had no time to prepare.
I swung heated eyes to him.
Kian was standing behind me with an amused grin on his face. He tilted his head to the side with his hands at his sides, and he seemed relaxed. As I patted my chest again, feeling my heart palpitations starting to lessen from my heart trying to climb out of my chest, I couldn’t stop myself from checking him out again.
He really was so gorgeous.
I didn’t recognize the brand of his clothes, but I knew they were custom-tailored. He had on that leather jacket from before. It was zipped up with a button that stretched across the collar, giving him a lean and sleek look. He wore jeans again. The others had been dark while these were faded, but they were fashionably faded, and they fell over his legs perfectly. They molded to the tops of his thighs, and even though I’d only gotten a glimpse of his backside, I could tell his jeans smoothed over his ass in a delicious way.
This…this was why I wanted to see him tomorrow. I was attracted to him, and—holy shit, I couldn’t be. That was not good, not at all.
His eyes narrowed as he patted the side of his face. “Have I grown two heads?”
“No.” I let out a shaky smile. “Sorry.” Get it together, Jo. You two are not freshmen paired together for a class project. “I, uh…never mind. I called because I didn’t know what else to do, and I thought maybe the only thing I could do was see if you had any ideas.”
“Okay.” He moved a little closer.
I should’ve backed up, but I didn’t want to. It was exciting to be standing this close to Kian. I was beginning to sound like a love-struck moron. Snark would be cursing my head off if he could see us now.
Kian added, “Tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s your interview tomorrow.”
I felt his surprise. He didn’t show it. His face was still unreadable, but I felt he was startled.
I continued, “I know about it. Actually, this is the problem. A friend of mine is one of the reporters, and she asked me to be there to help her out.”
“Ah.” His head bobbed up and down. “And my sister will be there.”
I gestured to my face. “I know I look different, but—”
“If she’s looking hard enough, she’ll recognize you,” he filled in the rest. “And you don’t want to risk it.”
“I have a life here, a normal one. I can’t…” Oh, boy. Here came the emotions again. I stopped and glanced away for a second. “I can’t risk losing that, but I also can’t risk not being there for my room—friend.” I’d figure out later why I’d referred to Erica as only my friend, not my roommate. “This interview with you is a big deal to her.”
“No, I understand.” A small grin flitted across his face. “I got a lot of offers for interviews, but my team was selective of whom they’d choose. They don’t understand why I want to interview at this college. No one does.”
My chest was getting tight. “Why did you? Why are you, I mean?”
He lifted a shoulder and shifted to the side, so he was gazing out over the city. “I don’t know. I think maybe because this was where I wanted to go to college.” He glanced down, kicking at a small rock on the floor. His hands formed into fists before he shoved them into his pockets. “I think me coming here was a way to fool myself, like I could still have a normal life after everything.” He looked back to me. His eyes traced over me and fell to my lips, lingering there. “But even if there is a retrial, I’m starting to realize that some things have to be let go.”
I licked my lips and felt myself leaning toward him. He was still looking at my lips, and his eyes darkened when my tongue flicked out. It was dark, but he was close enough that I could see his eyes melding with the night color. My hands started to reach out. I was going to touch his sides, almost like I wanted to anchor him and go to him.
I caught myself, and my hands fell down to my sides. I had to pull my eyes away from him, but it ached. All I wanted to do was look back up at him, move closer to him, feel him, touch him.
But I did nothing.
I calmed my breathing, and I held still. The emotions would dissipate. They had to. This was nuts. Him and me? There was no way…
He’d said if there was a retrial…
I looked back up. “You mean, there might not be a retrial?”
His eyes flicked to mine. The corner of his mouth lifted again, and a smirk flared for a second. “I’m told they can retry me, then I’m told they can’t, and the latest is that the district attorney is just bluffing. They want to go after me for something else.”
“Can they do that?”
“Who knows?” A hard twinge sounded. “All I know is that my life is fucked up.”
And that was my fault.
Pulling away, I needed some space. I needed to think clearly again.
Swallowing over a lump in my throat, I asked, “You think you can make that work tomorrow? So, I can be there and not worry.”
I looked up and was caught by his eyes. He was staring down at me with a hard edge to him. I felt like a hand was inside my chest, squeezing the life out of me. My mouth was suddenly dry again, and I had to bite down on my lip to keep from saying something or licking it. Heat rose up in my body. I felt it spreading to my cheeks, and that lump in my throat doubled in size.
He blamed me…
Did he?
I was too scared to ask.
He broke first, his eyes darting away. “I’ll make it work. You shouldn’t have to worry about your life being upended because of my team. I’ll ask everyone to let me go in alone.”
“Will they be there? I mean, outside of the room? Are they still going to be hanging around you?”
“I’ll make my sister stay home. She’s the only one who could identify you. My lawyer and one of the publicists will be there, but you don’t have to worry about them. They’ve already preselected what questions will be asked, so they aren’t expecting any surprises. Your friend—is she the main reporter or one of the other ones?”
I laughed. Susan. “No. Uh, the main reporter hates me.”
His gaze sharpened. “She does?”
“I’m not quite sure why, but she does. Erica says it has something to do with Jake—”
He didn’t know Jake. Well, he did, but he didn’t know the circumstances. I didn’t know if I wanted him to know either.
“Jake,” Kian murmured. “That’s the guy I saw you with?”
“Uh…”
“He is.” A small grin tugged at his lips as he said quietly, “You don’t have to be scared of me knowing these things. You don’t have to be scared of me at all—ever. I’m just…I’m curious. Our lives are intertwined so much, but you’re almost a stranger to me. It feels wrong not to know certain things about you, like everyday things, when I know…other things.”
He knew my deepest and darkest secrets.
He knew what Edmund had done to me.
A shaky laugh slipped out. I couldn’t hold back the edge in my tone. “You’re right. You do. You know things no one should know. You know things I’m ashamed of—”
He surged to me. His hand caught my shoulder, and he said forcefully, “You never have to be ashamed. Never, Jordan.”
Edmund was there. I felt his presence between us.
I looked down, but I didn’t move from Kian’s hold, even though I should’ve been scared of it.
I wasn’t.
He continued, his voice softening, “He did that to you. It happened to you—not by you, not because of you,
but to you. You had no choice. You have no accountability of what was done to you. Your foster dad was a sick bastard. I might not remember killing him, but I’ll never regret that I did. No one should have that horror happen to them. Guys like Edmund don’t rehabilitate. They just learn how to hide it better.” He sounded like he wanted to say more, but he let go and jerked back a step.
I sensed a raging battle inside of him. It was for me, not because of me.
Right there, hearing that, my reservations about Kian disappeared. He protected me. He didn’t blame me. Snark’s warnings were for nothing. I couldn’t explain it. There were no words that I could utter to make another person feel it, too, but I knew then.
I had nothing to fear from Kian.
A tear formed in the corner of my eye, and I brushed it away before he saw it. I didn’t want him to see that he had affected me. I wanted to be seen how I saw him—strong.
“Thank you,” I whispered. I wasn’t just thanking him for the interview.
He nodded, stepping away again. “Yeah,” he murmured. He took in a deep breath and let it out. “I’ll make it work tomorrow. You don’t have to worry. Your friend is the other reporter? Erica?”
“She’s going to be the feisty one.”
He grinned. “I look forward to meeting her.”
Here it was—the awkward good-bye. We had talked about what I’d asked him to come for. There was no reason for more talk. I knew he should go, but I didn’t want him to, and I knew that I should let him go, but I didn’t want to. I wanted him to stay—at least for a little longer.
He was right. He knew the deepest regions of my soul and what had happened to me—that touched inside of me—but we were almost strangers. It didn’t seem right.
He sighed. “This is where I go.”
I nodded. “I know.”
He didn’t leave.
I didn’t either.
We stayed and stared at each other for another minute, and then he began backing away.
I turned around and looked out over the city. I heard the roof’s door open and close, and I knew he was gone, but I’d see him again tomorrow.
The hotel suite was dark when I got in, but there was a soft glow coming from my sister’s room and another from the living room. As I passed the doorway, I noticed the French doors had been left open, and a small lamp on the desk tucked back in the corner had been left on.
I shared this suite with Felicia.
Our dad hadn’t wanted to stray from his offices for too long, and there’d been too much traveling done already from the Primetime interview and all the appeals courts. He remained back home with our mother.
It was just my sister and me in this suite while my lawyers and all of Laura’s publicist team stayed in their own rooms. There was security, too, but only one remained inside the suite while the others stayed out in the hallway. They’d switch off every few hours, and a new set of guards would come in the morning to relieve them.
Felicia liked to turn in early—or that was what she’d claim before retiring to her room at nine every night. The smell of booze that emanated from under her door said otherwise. I was fairly certain my sister was a closet alcoholic. I only hoped it was alcohol and that she wasn’t addicted to anything else.
After going past her room, I was about to close the door on mine when her door opened.
“Kian?”
I paused and closed my eyes.
She’d forced herself on this trip. I didn’t want her here. My lawyers didn’t either, and I knew Laura thought my sister was a publicist’s nightmare. But Felicia had demanded that she come, and I hadn’t had the time to fight her, so here she was, waiting up for me.
I prepared myself for one of her lectures. I said, “I’m here.”
She came out to the hallway, so she could see me. Our rooms were right next to each other, and I hadn’t stepped back out to answer her question. I made her come to me. As she stood between our doors, she wrapped her blanket around her form. Her makeup was smudged, and she was unsteady on her feet, swaying a tiny bit before she caught her balance fully.
She asked, the rank smell of tequila wafting over to me, “Where were you tonight?”
“I felt like a walk.”
She wrinkled her nose. Walks were beneath her. “You shouldn’t do that. Or you should take some of the guys with you. Everyone was worried about you.”
No one was worried about me. “I was fine, sister dear.”
She rolled her eyes and reached for a glass on her table. “You’re placating me.”
“Of course, I am.”
“Stop doing that,” she warned in a low tone. Her blue eyes flashed in anger. “I’m not helpless, and I’m not stupid. You’ve been disappearing a lot since we got to this town. If you’re going for walks”—she pointed to my face—“at least wear a hat.”
I flipped up my sweatshirt’s hood and pulled it low. “Look, ominous and threatening. I know you’re scared of girls flinging themselves at me, but when I’m dressed like this, they tend to run away.”
“You’re so annoying.”
“And you’re wasted,” I shot back, but regretted it. My sister had reason to worry. “I’m fine, Felicia. Nothing’s going to happen to me.” I wasn’t going anywhere. That’s what she was concerned about. I lingered on the glass in her hand. I didn’t know if she was drinking more since I left for prison and more since I got out. All I knew was that it was steady and constant. She was a problem the family would have to face sooner or later, but not now. What happened to her wasn’t my problem, at least not anymore. The small fight I had in me was gone. I raked a hand over my face. “Go to bed, Felicia. I’ll fetch you in the afternoon for lunch.”
“Lunch?” Her eyebrows furrowed together, and she pulled her blanket tighter. “Aren’t you doing that interview tomorrow?”
“No. It’s been moved to another day. You can sleep in and go shopping even. I’ll be back at the hotel around two for our lunch together.”
“Where will you be before that?” She sounded relieved, eager even.
I added to my lie, “I’ll be at the gym, and then I’m meeting with Parson and Ethan. I’m sure Laura will be joining us as well.”
Felicia snorted. “Your lawyers. I don’t know why they sent two of them with us. One would’ve sufficed.”
“I’m sure the fact that Ethan has recently stopped leaving your room in the morning has nothing to do with your attitude?”
She froze, her gaze searching mine.
I lifted an eyebrow. “I might have been in prison for two years, but that’s made me more aware of my surroundings. I can recognize whose footsteps I’m hearing tiptoe past my bedroom door at six in the morning.”
She huffed out, rolling her eyes, “We stopped, okay? You don’t have to lecture me about it.”
I kept quiet. They had only recently stopped, and I was going to have a word with Parson in the morning. I had no doubt his associate would be heading back to their law firm within the next twenty-four hours, and I was hoping that I’d concoct a plan to send Felicia flying after him. I had other plans to remain in town—at least for a few more days, if not a few more weeks, if I could make that happen somehow.
No one knew Jordan lived here. No one would know. I saw the interest in her tonight. She wanted to get to know me. The feeling was mutual. I wanted to understand her more than I already did.
“Fine,” Felicia groaned. “I’ll stop seeing him altogether. Would that make you happy, brother mine?”
I still didn’t say a word.
She snapped out, “Whatever. Fine. Be mad at me. I don’t care. I’m going back to bed. I’m so glad you’re okay, you know? I worry about you. I’m your sister, and you’re not exactly not known. You’re goddamn famous. I wish you’d just accept that and stop this disappearing act you always do. I’m just concerned, is all. Is that a crime? For a sister to be scared someone might try to hurt her brother? Because some people want to kill you, Kian. They don’t love you or wor
ship you like all those insipid females who write to you. There are quite a few threatening letters in your fan-mail pile. You just don’t want to accept that they’re there or that you’re not invincible, but you are. You’re weak. You can be hurt, too.”