I finished for him, hitting the elevator button, “But you do, and I know you’ve been spending all your free time with them since we’ve been in town. It’s nice to have your family here.”
The doors slid open, and he stepped inside. “You sure I have the night off?”
A look passed between us. Emile was worried. He knew who Jo was, and he disapproved of her presence.
“Have fun tonight. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine,” I said.
“Kian—” he started.
The doors slid shut before he could say any more. I lingered there. Emile’s concern meant more to me than I’d let him know.
“He knows who I am.”
I nodded, turning around. Jo was leaning against the doorframe. One of her arms was crossed over her chest, holding on to her other arm. It was like she was shielding herself from me, but she had come to me.
That said so much.
“Kian?” The corner of her lip dipped down.
“Yes, he knows who you are.”
“And he doesn’t approve that I’m here?”
My eyebrow rose. “Anyone in your camp approve of you being here?”
Her cheeks pinked, and she looked away. “Stark is my camp.”
I raised my eyebrows.
She laughed a small little laugh. “Point taken.” It wasn’t much, but its power spread through me, warming every coldness inside me. I felt myself thawing in places that I hadn’t realized were there. That was the effect she had on me while in my presence, while in my penthouse, where I would be living for the next few weeks.
“Kian?”
She bit into the other side of her cheek. I was almost mesmerized, taking in all her little details. Every tiny gesture said so much about her. I wanted to learn all of them. I wanted to understand everything about her—why she kept herself from speaking sometimes, why she was still shielding herself from me, why she’d reached for my hand and had no clue about it.
I forced out a deep breath of air. One thing at a time. “I trust Emile. He’s been my driver since I was little.”
She frowned. “You make it sound like he was the nanny who raised you.”
“He did, in a way.” Hearing the door, I moved past her for the front entrance. I murmured, “He’s the only one who would put up with me. My nannies all hated me.”
“Why?” She laughed, turning so that she could still see me as I went through the living room.
Pausing before I moved down the hallway that went to the front entrance, I flashed her a grin. “They were hired for my father’s bedroom, so I liked to call them does.”
“Does?”
“The plural form for doe. I thought I was so smart, adding Daddy and hoe together.”
Two seconds later, she burst out laughing. I went for the door and opened it to find the food and beverages had been brought up. The manager started to push the cart all the way inside, but I stopped her because Jo had taken my hooded sweatshirt off.
“I can do that. Thank you for bringing all this up yourself.”
The manager moved back from the cart. “Oh. Of course.” She went back to the door. “Is there anything else you’d like?”
“This is fine. Thank you again.”
She lingered before leaving, glancing over her shoulder to me. If I’d been standing beside my father, I would’ve assumed she was hitting on him. I wasn’t, though, and the sexual interest was evident. My eyes flashed a warning. She needed to go. Registering it, she gave me one last professional smile before slipping through the door.
Jo was leaning against the kitchen counter when I brought the cart in. “Let me guess. She slipped you her number?”
I shook my head, lifting one of the covers to reveal a platter of vegetables and fruit. “Uh, no.”
“She was young enough to be interested.”
My eyebrows furrowed together. “I’ve learned that age doesn’t matter. Lots of older women are seduced by my family name.”
“Even though you went to prison?”
“Jordan.” I reached out and touched the bottom of her chin. I couldn’t help myself. I’d been holding off from using her given name, but as it slipped past my lips, it felt good. It felt natural.
A small cleft was there, and it became accentuated when she was worried. I remembered watching her during the entire court proceedings and noticing it.
I said softly, “Sometimes, I think the prison thing turns them on even more. They know I’m not a psychopath. I killed one man, and it was to save a girl.”
She held still, her eyes holding mine.
My gaze fell to her lips. “They’d like to delude themselves into thinking that I’d do the same for them.”
“You wouldn’t?” Her chest rose but never went back down.
I moved closer to her. “No. I did it only for one person.” I looked back up, right into her eyes. “And I’d do it again.”
Her throat constricted, swallowing. Her chest fell abruptly down and jerked back up. I was breathing heavily, too.
Her phone started going off then.
Of course. It was like clockwork.
“Sorry,” she exhaled out, raking a hand through her hair. Crossing the room for her bag, she gestured to one of the bedrooms. “I’m going to take this in here.”
I nodded and waited until she closed the door. She wasn’t the only one who needed to take a call. I went to the back patio and pulled my phone out.
Cal picked up on the first ring, like he always did. He greeted, “How do you like the new digs?”
“So far, they’re working well: small, private, exclusive. As long as the staff remain discreet, I might use them again.”
He grunted, popping something into his mouth and chewing. “You know what else you should use? Security. They’d be useful to have around.”
“I can move around easier on my own.”
Another grunt. He kept chewing. “Don’t be calling my ass in the middle of the night when you have some stalker breaking in to rape your behind. I do a lot of services for you, but personal security is not one of them.”
A small grin formed at the corner of my mouth. “You’re one of the best private investigators I know, but I can hold my own with fighting.”
“Yeah, sure. All that time in prison really hardened you, huh?”
A slight chuckle slipped out. “It didn’t make me softer.”
His own laugh faded, and it was time for business. “So, what’s up? You don’t call for social chats.”
“I had an incident earlier. A cab driver recognized Jordan.”
“Are you kidding me? She’s there?”
I ignored that part. “I got his dash camera and his USB cord, but he could be a problem.”
“You got the number of the car?” After I told him, he said, “All right. I’ll track him down and see if we need to put precautions in place or not.” He was quiet for a beat. “If I were your family or on your legal team or, hell, even on your publicist team, I would advise against having that girl anywhere close to you. But I’m not, and I know that you’re going to do whatever you want. Just be smart, Kian. You’re a good kid. Hell, you’re not a kid with the shit you’ve gone through. You’re damn smart. I wouldn’t want you to throw away your freedom for a piece of vagina.”
I grinned, checking over my shoulder. Jo was in the living room with the television turned on.
“Cal, if I were going to throw away my freedom for a piece of vagina, it’d have to be yours. Shriveled up, smelly—”
“Shut up.” He laughed. “All right. I’ll check on all of this. I mean it, be smart. I know you want to protect this girl. It landed you in trouble, but sometimes, you have to do what’s in your best interest. She doesn’t have anyone hurting her this time.”
After saying good-bye, I waited outside. Jo was sitting on a side couch, so I could see her profile. She didn’t know where I was. She kept glancing toward the front hallway and then to the back hallway leading to the back elevator. She wasn’t guarded i
n this one instance. I absorbed every inch of her, as much as I could.
Cal was right. There was no Edmund hurting her.
Her current boyfriend, whomever he was to her, wasn’t violent. He came from an upper middle-class background. The worst secret he had was a cheating father, or so Cal’s report had told me. She wasn’t in danger from him or her roommate, the overzealous reporter.
I lied to Jo before. I knew who her roommate was long before I decided to interview with the school’s paper. I set everything in place. No matter what, Jo had to be taken care of.
And here we were.
I was the danger to her now.
I needed to decide what to do—or what not to do. If she stayed at my side, I wouldn’t be able to hold back from touching her. Then again, if I told her the truth about everything, that wouldn’t be a problem.
She’d want nothing to do with me.
Jake was concerned and Erica wanted to make sure everything was fine. Neither of them seemed suspicious, and Snark told me that I’d need to wear a shirt with my old name on it for people to put two and two together.
“Is everything okay?”
Kian appeared from some corner of the place. His phone was in his hand as he sat on the coffee table in front of me.
Fuck. I couldn’t look away from him. Those dark eyes of his could look right into me and know me. With everything about him, I wanted to be right where I was, with him. My mind was telling me to go. Discovery was not imminent—at least, not yet. I’d worked myself up. I’d panicked and bolted for him.
What was I doing?
My legs didn’t move. My arms didn’t move to push myself up from the couch. My feet weren’t going to walk me out of there. My ass stayed in place. I did not want to leave.
Oh, screw it.
I blurted out, “I’m attracted to you.”
His eyebrows shot up, and he leaned back. “Oh.” That was his reaction, that one word. That was it.
I held my breath. That’s it?
I blinked. “Um.” Backpedal. Retreat. Run. “I’m sorry.”
“No.” He shot forward, his hand held up, reaching between us. He looked at it. I looked at it, and it went back to his lap.
“Uh.” He shook his head, blinking a few times. The laughter started with one small chuckle. A second, and a third that was louder. He kept shaking his head before he looked up. He saw the non-laughter coming from me and sighed. “Sorry. I’m laughing at myself, not you. This is…” His hands clasped together on his lap. “I’m so controlled, and you’ve punched right through everything. There it is, and I’m here thinking how much I want to hold you, but I’m too scared to tell you.”
Wait.
He kept going, “Hearing those words, I’m…at a loss.”
Did he say…
“But this whole thing, with the media, it’s your life now that we’re looking at. My team will get me off. They’re going to argue that I should’ve never been convicted in the first place. It was self-defense—I mean, it was defense for you. That was proven. A dirty judge was the real reason I was convicted, and, yeah, maybe they’ll go the double-jeopardy route. I don’t know their angle, but I trust them. I won’t be convicted again, but, Jordan…”
He kept talking, but his voice became distant and low.
He wanted to hold me. That was what he just said. The warmth of those words began to spread through me. I had known it. I’d thought it, but to hear those words…and he was so close, but still sitting so far away.
He kept talking, something about his legal team’s agenda. His voice grew clear again, and he finished with a final resigned note, “I don’t want anything to happen that could hurt you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“What?”
I blurted it out again, “I’m attracted to you.”
“I know.”
My eyebrows shot up. That’s it? “You just told me you wanted to hold me. I mean, doesn’t that mean something?”
He grew wary, and his lips moved into a straight line. His hands tightened on to each other, as if he were holding himself back.
I didn’t understand any of this. “I don’t care about the legal aspects. I don’t care about the ramifications—”
“But you should,” he said so softly as he cut me off. He leaned forward again. “This is your life, Jordan. Your. Life. Yes, I am attracted to you. Yes, I want to hold you. Yes, I want to kiss you. Yes, I want to pick you up and carry you into that bedroom.”
My eyes got big. Every word he had said was spoken with conviction. My fingers curved into the bottom cushion of the couch. I wanted to jump into his arms. I was holding myself back. There was a but coming after he had said those beautiful words, and the emotions were building in my throat. Another lump was forming there.
He leaned even closer across the small gap between us. His eyes were peering right into mine as he said in a fierce whisper, “I want to protect you. I want to take care of you…”
I closed my eyes. It was coming.
“But…”
There it was.
“We have to think long and hard before we do anything.”
I was holding my breath. I knew there was more coming.
There was silence.
I peeked a look at him. He was staring at me, studying every inch of my face, and his gaze dropped down to my lips. He lingered there.
I licked them. His eyes jerked to mine, darkening in lust.
I wanted him. I didn’t give a damn about what else he said. “Kian.” I started to rise from the couch.
He murmured, his voice hoarse, “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
“I do.”
This was why I kept coming back to him. I should’ve run as soon as he found me, but I went nowhere. I went to him. This was why I ignored Snark’s warnings. I wanted justification—no, I wanted excuses to go to him.
My fingers curled into my palms.
I didn’t even think I’d cared about the cab driver. Maybe a part of me wanted to be caught. It would be done. The running. The hiding. Everything. I wanted it all done, and if it meant I could be with Kian, so be it.
You’re an idiot, Jordan. An inner voice laughed at me.
I hushed her.
“I want you,” I said it again, scooting to the edge of my cushion.
“Jordan.” His head dropped low, but his eyes clung to mine.
His shoulders were tense, and he was fighting himself. I saw the struggle in him. His jaw clenched. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.
“I don’t care what happens.”
His eyes narrowed. “You should.”
I sucked in my breath and leaned across the last bit of space between us. I was right there, right in front of him. One small inch and his finger would be resting against mine. The heat radiated off him. His eyes were glued to mine, fierce, as they seemed to be daring me to touch him. But his hands never lifted. He didn’t lean toward me. He held himself still, just watching me.
I lifted a hand.
Both of us looked at it and then at each other.
I reached for him, and as I bit down on my lip, I touched his chest. His heart was racing, pounding underneath my hand. He was trembling. I hadn’t noticed it before, but I felt it. This was because of me, of my touch. Power surged through my veins. The adrenaline of knowing that he’d reacted like this to me made my