I hadn’t thought about what I grabbed when I left, but I was dressed in one of Kian’s black sweatshirts and my jeans. I hated to admit it, but the smell of Kian was driving me crazy. I tried blocking it out. It was starting to hurt too much.
“Why here, though? Why not your place?”
“Because Tara’s there.”
I could only look at him. Those words…
I smacked him on the arm. “After all that time with me, you’re back with her?”
He chuckled softly. His smirk turned into an actual grin, and he shrugged. “I know. I realized I was a dumbass, and by the way, Tara ended her friendship with Susan.”
“She did?”
He nodded. “Tara found out what had happened, that Susan called me to get info on you for a story. Tara wasn’t happy about it. She saw it on the news. The whole thing’s there, Susan trying to ambush you guys. Someone caught it on camera.”
“Really?”
“And Wanker cornered her and had a standoff against her. Susan was seething. She was so pissed, said she’s going to sue.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, please. Who’s she going to sue?”
He shrugged. “Anyone. You? She’s saying you ruined her career, but she’s the jerk-off, not you.” He quieted, growing serious. “I mean, yeah, a lot of people were pissed at first, but I get it. I know why you hid. Everyone knows why you hid, especially after hearing your interview. Tara was bawling like a baby. She said I had no right being mad at you, and she followed that with a threat, saying I could never try to hook-up with you again, even if she and I break up.”
He was grinning again. It was infectious.
I found myself grinning back, and I teased, “Let’s face it…”
He waited for me.
“You’ll probably break up in six months.”
He held up some fingers. “Three. My bet is three.”
“Of course. I should’ve known.”
“And we’ll be together again in six months.”
I pretended to hit myself on the forehead. “What was I thinking?”
He pretended to be disappointed, shaking his head and making a disapproving tsk sound in his throat. “I don’t know. What am I going to do with you? It’s like we don’t even know each other.”
That warranted my first real laugh in a long time, a really long time. It felt good. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For”—letting me relax—“making me think the world isn’t going to end.”
“You could make it up to me, you know.”
My eyebrow arched up again, and I waited, my grin still in place. “Oh, yeah?”
“Next time you do an interview, let it slip that I am the greatest stud you’ve had in bed. My cred will go through the roof. Tara will either be the most envied girl, or I’ll be the luckiest guy, depending on if we’re on a break at that time or not.”
My insides were aching from the laughter. I shook my head, pressing a hand to one of my ribs. “We have to stop joking. I’m beginning to hurt.”
“Eh.” Jake winked at me, his tone unforgiving. “You’re the one who called me. You should’ve known.”
“I should’ve?”
“Yeah.” He made one of those disapproving tsks again. “I mean, especially the last time you saw me…two days ago? If you didn’t know that we’d be rolling in giggles here, you’re just stupid.”
I barked out a loud laugh. I wasn’t even trying to hold it in now. No other cars were in the parking lot, and it was early. Any morning joggers or walkers would be distracted by their headphones or dogs.
Jake had been furious with me the last time I saw him. And now, seeing him like this. He was with Tara, and he was happy. And this was how we were at our best, as friends.
Once my laughter faded, I asked, “You’re not mad at me?”
“No.” He shook his head, growing somber with me. “My ego was wounded. Hell, my ego took a nosedive underground once I saw you with him, but no, I’m not mad anymore. I wasn’t mad before either. I was madder at myself. I knew there was a guy, remember?”
Kian’s voice came to me again. “A guy knows. He knew someone else was in the picture.”
Jake began to pick at his steering wheel. “I mean, that was our whole thing. We were going to be accountability partners.”
“I know, but—” He wanted more. I knew it. He knew it.
“I had no reason to be mad,” he said with more force. He wanted to make sure I got it.
Holding his gaze, I nodded. “Thank you.”
He nodded. “Yeah, no problem. But since we’re here, what did the douche do? You didn’t call me to hash it out at six in the morning.”
Gone was the teasing and precious camaraderie. It was down to business now.
I pressed my lips together. “He used me.”
“Bullshit.”
I frowned, my eyebrows bunching forward. I didn’t know what I’d expected, but it wasn’t that, not from him. “Huh?”
“I call bullshit. That’s the biggest piece of stinking diarrhea I’ve ever heard. Who told you that?”
“His sister.”
“Is she a royal bitch or something? A spoiled princess or something like that?”
I tried to figure out if he was joking. I didn’t think he was.
Shifting in my seat, I crossed my arms over my chest. I uncrossed them then and picked at the imaginary lint on the bottom of the sweatshirt. My head folded down. What did it mean that both Snark and Jake weren’t buying it?
“I mean it, Jo…rdan—whatever name you want me to call you. I meant what I said. I saw how he looked at you in the apartment. And I saw how he looked at me. I was competition. He was jealous of me. Since that was the first time I saw him up and close, I’m inclined to think he was jealous about the time I got to spend with you. There was no agenda from him.
“Whatever was told to you that got you running out of his place at this unholy early hour, it’s bullshit. Go back, and listen to him. The guy’s almost obsessed with you. I could tell. Even though I’m not on the same level as him, I could’ve been, if we had been given a real shot. If I’d killed someone for you and then found you again later, I could have felt what he was feeling for you. I don’t know for sure what it is, but it’s real.”
I…couldn’t talk. My throat closed up. My fingers curled up into balls, and I only sat there, feeling a small seed of hope taking root.
That was all I wanted.
I was too scared to believe, though.
Jake started the car and backed it up before pulling onto the road again. His apartment was in the opposite direction.
“Where are we going?” Even my voice was barely above a whisper, and I thought it held yearning, too.
“Where do you think?”
I knew. I didn’t have to ask anymore.
When he pulled up to the same door I’d left moments earlier, he let out a pocket of air. “I’m sorry for being angry before. I’m sorry for accidentally letting Susan know where you were. But for this,” he gestured to the hotel, “I’m not sorry for bringing you back. Go get your guy.” He patted my leg. “Go get your happy.”
I woke up because the bed was empty, and then I heard the door shut. I knew it was bad even before I rose out of bed.
Judging from the clothes on the floor, she left in a hurry. No note had been left in the suite. I called Laura and my lawyers, but no one knew anything. No one saw her, and Jordan hadn’t texted me. I felt it in my gut. She was gone.
I was changing to go look for her when I saw my wallet on the windowsill. I went to grab it, and that’s when I saw him. Jake Monroe. He was in the driver’s seat of his car, and he was driving away. I caught a glimpse before his car turned the corner.
My hand fisted the window curtain. Fuck this. If he had called her—No. I shook my head and closed my eyes tight.
If he called her, that was on her. She decided to answer the call. She decided to leave my bed, to go to him. That was on
Jordan. I couldn’t fault him.
Shit, I waited two years in prison for her. I had so many reasons to leave her alone, but I hadn’t. I should’ve, and I still should, but I wasn’t going to. With that, I knew my decision had been made.
Fuck me if I was looking like an idiot in love, but that was what I was.
I loved her.
And I never told her.
I gritted my teeth. I’d told her I had feelings. I shook my head and started for the door. I was going to go after her. I was bringing the phone up to my ear. Cal could use the tracker to find her, but my door opened then. My sister walked inside.
Seeing the smug look in her eyes and the smirk on her face, it clicked. This was her. Whatever it was, whatever had been said, I knew Felicia had something to do with Jordan leaving.
I gutted out, “You did that, didn’t you?”
“Hell to the fucking yeah.” She raised her head. She wasn’t even going to deny it. She was gloating.
“You bitch.”
She lifted a cold shoulder. “In my defense, it wasn’t like I came in here, looking for her. I wanted to order some food and booze off of you, but there she was. When I came around the corner, she was lined up, ready to come and meet me.” A dimple showed in her cheek. “I couldn’t help myself.”
Fuck.
She eyed me. “She swallowed it, hook, line, and sinker. Maybe I saved you from her. Maybe I’m actually being a nice sister?”
“You’re delusional.”
“Meh.” She lifted her other shoulder and headed for the kitchen. “Life could be worse. Think of what you have in your future. Daddy called me this morning. He said your proposal for the building for the foster kids was approved. Congratulations. That’s good news, right?” She called from the kitchen, “You’re acting like your cat just died.”
“Felicia.” My teeth were permanently grinding against each other now. “Get out of my suite.”
“Relax.” She came back around the corner, her arms filled with food that I’d ordered for Jordan the night before—food that we never got around to eating.
I was raging inside, but this was Felicia. This was how she was and had been since the court case. “What did you say to her?”
“Nothing.” She moved for the door. So did I.
I blocked her. “Felicia.”
She backed up a step and readjusted her hold on the food. “Kian.”
I was done. “I’m sorry your boyfriend hurt you. I’m sorry he forced himself on you and that someone you loved hurt you in the worst possible way.”
She flinched, looking away.
I kept going, “I’m sorry our parents did nothing to stand up for you.”
Her eyes closed, and her chest lifted, holding there. Her teeth sank down into her lip.
“I’m sorry I went away to prison. I really am.” I did mean all of that, but I was done with her. “But please stop hurting me back. You need to tell me whatever you said to her.”
“Why?” Her face scrunched in confusion. “It’s not like you love the girl. You want her to help with the press for the new foster care building. I get it. That’s why you’re here. Seriously though, Kian, whatever this little obsession you have with her, you need to drop it. Mom and Dad aren’t amused.”
“Mom and Dad have no say in it.”
And it wasn’t an obsession. It was love. The more I felt it slipping away, the more I realized how real and overwhelming it was. I loved Jordan with almost everything inside me.
Felicia rolled her eyes, moving around me for the door. She started to open it, and—
Fuck it.
I was there in one second and slammed it shut.
She fell back a step, her eyes wide, as she could only gape up at me. “Wha—” she started.
I growled over her, “What did you say to her?”
“Kian?” She didn’t look away from me. She wouldn’t dare.
“I mean it. I’ve let you come here. I’ve let you charge all your alcohol, hotel movies, food, clothing, whatever you wanted on my credit card. Fine. I figured I owe you.
“I wasn’t there for you, not when you needed me, and then I got locked up. You started sleeping with my lawyer, and I’d had enough. You come back here now, and what? She hasn’t left me since I got out, and you were able to send her away after one conversation. What did you say, Felicia?”
Her bottom lip started to tremble before she snapped back, “I did you a favor. Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed sticking a knife in her chest and turning it around. The girl was acting like she was in love with you, which is ridiculous. You’ll thank me for running her off one day. Trust me.” She reached for the door.
I moved her back. “Felicia.” I gave her one more warning growl.
“Okay. You’re crazy, you know that? It’s like you—” She stopped as understanding dawned in her depths. A light switched on, and her mouth fell open again. “Oh my God, you love her, don’t you?”
My eyes narrowed to slits. “If you don’t start talking—”
She waved that off. “What, Kian? Are you going to hurt me? I’m sorry. You think you’re the baddest piece of shit around, but I’ve got you beat by a long shot. You might huff and make a call to throw your weight around, but that’s all you’ll do.” Her voice gentled. “I know you’ll never hurt me. You never have. I didn’t know that you loved her. I thought you were only here to…I don’t know…get her help with the foster care building. I knew you wanted her to help with the planning and promotions for it. I’m sorry. It’s not much, but for what it’s worth, I am sorry.”
A headache was forming. She still hadn’t told me. “Felicia!”
“I lied to her. I said you hadn’t been accepted back into the company, and you needed her to make the hail of all Hail Marys, proclaiming how great of a guy you were to change the investors’ minds.”
“You did what?”
“I know. I know. I’m sorry.”
“I’m already in.”
“I know, but she didn’t know that. Neither does the public. And…” She grimaced, looking away, before saying, “I knew Daddy texted you. I told her the code to get in your phone, and…”
I closed my eyes. Jordan would’ve needed to know if it was true, if I was using her or not. She would’ve looked, and she would’ve put two and two together but formed the wrong ending.
I groaned. “Do you know what you’ve done?”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s a hiccup. Go find her. I know you have a tracker on her phone. And by the way”—she went to the door again, her hand closing on the door handle—“if you don’t want her to think you’re some crazy stalker, you might want to get rid of that program.”
I didn’t even ask how she knew about that. Nothing would surprise me now. “It was for her safety. I was worried about her.”
“Yeah, well, speaking as a girl, I highly recommend you come clean about that ASAP.” She opened the door but paused once more. “When did you fall in love with her?”
I didn’t answer. When she saw I wasn’t going to, she left. I was alone with my realization.
I’d been in love with Jordan since I saved her. I just never knew it.
Kian was sitting on the edge of the couch, leaning against the back of it and facing the door, as I went inside. His hands were on the couch, his head down, and it was like he was bracing himself from me. He lifted his head, and those eyes were stricken and so haunting. I paused for a moment. My chest tightened.
My throat choked up, but I had to know. “Do you love me?” I had