# # #
It was nearly ten o'clock in the morning yet Main Street was empty. Travis and company were lying in wait in the hotel lobby. A sniper was stationed in the clock tower.
Dexter was locked in a room on the second floor. He paced the room, his arms crossed, shaking his head. He made eye contact with a sharpshooter in the window across the street. Ssh, the shooter signaled.
Dexter looked down. Lance, Hawk, and a small band of Indians all dressed in business casual made their way down Main Street. They're gonna kill him, Dexter thought. He doesn't stand a chance.
Dexter grabbed the night table and tossed it at the window with all his might. Broken glass shattered the silence. "It's a trap!" Dexter shouted. "Run, Lance!"
Instantly, bullets hailed from all directions. Dexter dropped to the floor. The door was bust open by stray bullets. Dexter crawled out the room and down the stairs.
He could hear the thunder of hooves and the cries of Indian warriors. Boom! What was that? Dexter thought. He looked out a window. They took out the clock tower. The Indians got cannons, he concluded.
The lobby looked like it had dropped into a paper shredder. Lance was on the floor, moaning, smeared with blood. "Waste him!" Travis ordered.
Dexter came from behind, grabbed Travis by the neck, and pulled his gun out of its holster. "No!" Dexter cried. "He's my brother!" He shot the other soldiers, taking them down. Travis passed out and fell to the floor.
Dexter found a pair of handcuffs and cuffed his brother's hands behind his back. "Let's go," he said, dragging Lance out the back entrance.
He discovered Cory Frank and Miss Rose mounting a stagecoach. There were two soldiers assisting them. "You best hurry out of here, Mr. Frank," one of them said. "There's a thousand of them and they're armed better than a Confederate army."
"Freeze!" Dexter said. "Drop your weapons." He approached Cory and put the gun to his head. "You two, put my brother in the coach or I put a bullet in Cory's head."
They put Lance in the stagecoach and Dexter climbed aboard with his hostage. "Get this coach moving! Go!" Dexter demanded.
The driver jerked the stagecoach into motion like an amateur coming out of first gear for the first time. Miss Rose let out a startled yelp.
"You realize some of Crook's men are escorting us all the way to Castle Rock, don't you?" Cory asked.
"I noticed," Dexter replied, keeping his head away from the windows.
"Dexter?" Lance said, regaining consciousness. "Where are we going? Where's Edison?"
"Forget Edison," Dexter said, looking at his timer. "Wormhole in thirty minutes. We're going home."
"Untie me," Lance said. "Not cool."
"You're not escaping me this time."
"You're selfish."
"Killing Edison is not my way to make a difference. So, shut your mouth."
"Do you really think you're getting away with this?" Cory asked. "This man's a maniac! What are you thinking?"
"This is Operation Reverse Manifest Destiny," Lance declared. "I don't expect you to understand. Men like Edison and Crook never stop to think about the repercussions of their actions. They must be stopped. The future of Mama Earth depends on it."
"You're making no sense," Cory said.
"Dexter, can you give the man a Q-tip?" Lance said. "Listen, I got no beef with you. You're a railroad man, right? Tell your boss, Durant, to go magnetic levitation all the way. Tell him Henry Ford must be stopped at all costs."
"Shut up, Lance," Dexter said.
"Do you realize our bodies are seventy percent water?" Lance said. "In the future, they will pollute the air, they will poison the water, and contaminate the food. It's all part of a greater conspiracy to defile our precious bodily fluids."
Bullets burst into the cabin. "Dear God, help us!" Miss Rose cried, hiding her face in Cory's chest. "The savages are attacking!" Cory said.
"Woo!" Lance cheered. "Friendly fire! Those my boys! My Red Hot Chili Peppers!"
The horses began galloping faster and faster. The ride became unbearably violent. Each bounce was a back spasm. Dexter almost bit off his tongue. They were plowing through trees. It seemed the wheels had come off.
"We're out of control!" Dexter said.
"The driver!" Cory said. "I think he's dead!"
Suddenly, the wagon flipped like a hydroplaning sports utility vehicle on a hard turn. Everyone was screaming at the top of their lungs.
Dexter regained consciousness. The Sun was beaming on his face. His half of the stagecoach was in a ditch with a stream. Miss Rose screamed at the sight of Cory impaled by a branch. Their half of the stagecoach hung from the tree.
"Help!" Miss Rose cried. Her dress tore off as Dexter helped her down.
"I'm sorry," Dexter said, "where we're going, you can't come."
"Don't leave me to the savages," she protested, dressed only in her undergarments.
"Chillax. My boys won't hurt you," Lance said. "Besides, being a squaw ain't so bad. Little blue-eyed Indian babies should be real exotic."
They left her behind and took off into the woods.
"Stop. Please," Lance pleaded, looking at his leg. "It hurts. I know a hideout."
"What hideout?"
"It's real close. That way. Please."
"Okay."
They hiked to a clearing. The hideout looked like a hangar for a small airplane. They entered through the double doors. Inside, there was a large cylindrical device with a sphere on top and tall copper coils standing in every corner.
"What's this?" Dexter asked.
"It's a lab," Lance replied.
Warrior cries erupted from outside. "Whoa!" Dexter said, his skin breaking out in goosebumps.
"Great Prophet," Hawk's voice bellowed, "are you in there?"
"Yes," Lance replied, "my brother rescued me. Come in."
Hawk and his warriors poured into the lab. "Why are you tied?" Hawk asked, looking at Dexter with suspicion.
"We were in a hurry," Lance said. They cut him loose.
"How did you find us here?" Dexter asked.
Lance and Hawk pulled out their walkie-talkies. "Morse code, baby," Lance replied. "I was in contact with Chief Hawk this whole time. Why do you always underestimate me?"
"Unbelievable," Dexter said.
"I brought you a gift," Hawk said to Lance. One of Hawk's warriors gave Lance his samurai sword.
"You found it!" Lance said.
"But that's not the gift," Hawk said, motioning to his men. "I thought you might want the honor for yourself."
They dragged Edison into the lab and onto his knees. "Unhand me, you savages!"
"Excellent!" Lance said.
"Don't do it!" Dexter exclaimed.
The sound of bullets and battle cries exploded from outside. Travis and a mixed crowd of mercenaries and soldiers were muscling their way into the room. "You're a dead man, Dexter!"
"Dexter, follow me! Hurry!" Lance raced to a door in the large device. Dexter rushed after him into what seemed like a cramped control room. There was a skinny young man inside wearing a lab coat. Lance slammed the door shut.
The young man jumped to attention. "Is there trouble, sir?" he asked with a thick Serbian accent.
"Quick, Nick!" Lance said. "Fire it up!"
"Right away, sir!"
"Tesla?" Dexter said incredulously.
The room was dark, hot, and stuffy. Tesla hastily punched some buttons on his control panel. A million firecrackers seemed to go off outside. It sounded like the Chinese New Year except for all the startled shrieking. Then came the reverberating clamor of banging pipes. Then everything outside fell silent.
"That should do it," Tesla said. Lance opened the door.
The men were like drunks trying to recover their bearings. Their clothes smelled like smoke. All firearms, present and future, were magnetically glued to the tall coils and rendered useless.
/> Lance brandished his sword. "Hawk, get up!" he said. "It's mano a mano! Major, let's see how bad you sissies are now!"
They broke out in hand-to-hand combat. Travis and company were outnumbered. Lance sliced and stabbed like a swordfish in a frenzy. "Eat your heart out, Jet Li!" he said.
"Retreat!" Travis shouted. Only he and a few soldiers managed to fight their way out of the bottleneck and escape the slaughter.
"Where's Edison?" Lance asked.
The warriors found Edison cowering in a corner and brought him over.
"Why?" Edison cried.
"Because your light bulb is a weapon of mass consumption!"
"But I haven't even perfected it yet!" he protested.
Lance raised his sword. "Farewell, highlander. There can be only ? none, actually."
"No!" Dexter exclaimed. The warriors pinned him down.
Lance sliced off Edison's head.
"You idiot!" Dexter cried. "Now we'll never be born! Mom sold Dad a light bulb at Home Depot! That's how they met! You just committed suicide!"
"You know the difference between you and me, bro?" Lance asked. "I'm willing to make the ultimate sacrifices. All in the name of protecting Mama Earth."
Dexter began to feel the room spin. He felt weightless. He lifted his hand. It was dematerializing. The frightened warriors loosened their grip on him.
"Back to the Great Spirit, bro!" Lance cried.
Hawk and the warriors began to cheer, bidding him farewell.
"You idiot!" Dexter shouted just before he vanished into thin air.
A confused Tesla approached the spot where Dexter disappeared. "What does this mean?" he asked.
"Behold the Wizard of Oz!" Lance declared.
The warriors aimed their arrows at him.
"Wait!" Tesla said. "I thought we had an understanding. You said I would discover alternating current. You said Edison was my nemesis."
"Whatever," Lance said. "Don't you understand American humor?"
The warriors whacked him with three dozen arrows.
"Woo!" Lance cheered like a Viking in victory. "Mission accomplished!"
"Will you go to the Great Spirit now?" Hawk asked.
"No doubt, brother," Lance replied. "It's been an honor." They embraced. "Remember what I told you. It's up to you now to hold the line against Manifest Destiny. You are a great Chief."
"Until we meet again in the happy hunting grounds," Hawk said.
# # #
Lance raced out of the woods and into an open meadow. He rolled over on his shoulders and skipped about. He spread out his arms and spun like a top. "Woo! I'm the king of the world! The hills are alive! The hills are alive!"
He got down on his knees and kissed the earth. He wallowed in the mud. Tears of joy streamed down his face. "I love you, Mama Earth!" He spread the mud on his face like a lover's caress. "Mama Earth, I love you!" He laid down on his back and flapped his arms and legs to make an angel in the mud.
A strange sensation came over him. His body felt weightless. He thought he felt the full speed of the Earth spinning on its axis. "Whoa," he said. His hands were dematerializing. "Back to the mother ship? So be it. Anything for you, Mama Earth."
Then he faded away.
# # #
Travis stumbled out of the wormhole and back into the twenty-first century, landing in a military base in San Diego. The paramedics rushed him to an emergency room and jerked the arrows out of his back.
As he lay in bed, he felt comforted by the fluorescent light. Did Edison survive? he thought.
He strained his eyes until he could focus on the doctor and the officer standing over him.
"How are you feeling?" the doctor asked.
"Like trash," he replied.
"What kind of device is this?" the officer asked, holding up the wormhole timer.
"That's classified," Travis replied.
"Okay. What flag is this, soldier?" the officer asked, grasping the flag patched onto Travis's uniform.
Is this a trick question? Travis thought. "The stars and stripes."
"Clarify," the officer said.
"The flag of the United States of America."
"I see," the officer said. "You're a political agitator."
"What?" Travis said.
"See that flag?" The officer pointed over his shoulder. The flag on the wall was red with a big yellow star served by more than two dozen smaller stars. "This is the United Socialist States of America which I swore to defend with my life. And Hu Jintao is my president."
"What?" Travis said. "Where am I?"
"San Diego," the doctor replied.
Travis searched anxiously around the room with his eyes for signs of familiarity.
"There's a misunderstanding," Travis said. "I'm confused. Do you know General Electric?"
"Who's General Electric?" the officer asked.
"Who invented the light bulb?" Travis snapped.
"Shanghai Lighting Company," the doctor replied.
"Oh, no," Travis said, his hands over his eyes.
END
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