Chapter 7.
So.
My name’s Mark. Mark Forth. It’s an okay name, not quite as sexy as my old one, but then, hey, I’m alive. And I’m not quite sure what to do next as I stand by my locker. Jane had to go, what a shame, never got to ask her out. Yet, at least. I think we’ll make something happen there.
So.
I need to sort out my clothes. Look at this. A brown cord jacket, hanging in my locker. And grey trousers. Why would anyone do that. I mean, look, I’m looking at my reflection, not bad, some work to do there but not bad, lose the parting, lose the glasses, to start with, muscle up a bit – I mean, seriously, but that may take some work, and of course get a tattoo. So the jacket’s kind of comfortable but I don’t want to fall into that trap.
And now I’m in the car park, with a set of keys in my hand, looking round.
“Forgotten which one your car is?”
I turn round. “Oh, hi, Jane…. I mean, hi” I try again with a deeper voice.
“Nice jacket”
“Erm, yeah, thanks.” Maybe it is all right after all, perhaps I need to re-evaluate my fashion choices. “Oh, hey, listen, are you busy?”
“Well I told you, yes, I had to go. Why?”
Remember who you are, John, play this cool. Okay, don’t remember who you are, but still play it cool. “Well, I just thought, maybe we could grab a drink…”
She looks slightly startled. Maybe I said it wrong. “Excuse me?”
“Well, you know, just a drink, just a chat, no strings, you know we’re both adults…”
“Are you asking me out on a date?” she’s asking, even more startled now. I think her eyes are actually growing wider.
I put my hands up. I know how to play this. “Whoa, no, just a drink, I mean let’s not start ringing wedding bells yet…”
She’s laughing now. “No, Mark, let’s not. Let’s not do anything. Let’s just forget this conversation ever happened.” And I swear she kicks her heels before turning and heading for a beautiful red coupe. Still some work to do there, then.
I’m clicking the remote on the keys for a while before I finally see which car it’s operating, and I guess the results are predictable but dull. A brown four door saloon. Ooh, leather inside though, and look, a sat nav! Maybe things aren’t so bad after all, these seats are quite comfortable. It looks and smells clean, and of course no smokes hidden in the glove box, well I guess I am a doctor.
And brilliant, press the home button on the sat nav and it’s telling me where to go! How exciting, my new home. I hope it’s all right, it must be pretty cool, I am a doctor.
And the streets don’t look familiar at all, the shops, the houses, everything goes past in a blur as the miles to my house count down slowly. There’s a tree lined avenue coming up, that looks good, but no I have to go sailing past that, and turn into a slightly dodgier street, and… Jesus, a woman’s stepping out onto the zebra crossing, can’t she see I’m going too fast to stop. I slam on the brakes and she just gets out of the way in time, and I am so angry I jump out of the car and go over to her and get my face right into hers, as she’s picking herself up and “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I yell, but I’m not prepared for what happens next.
What happens next is that she throws her arms around me and hugs me and I’m thinking okay, okay get over it, and gingerly I pat her on the back. “There, there, love”.
She backs up, pulls herself away and looks at me in surprise. She’s got brown wavy hair, very neat, quite short and well, yeah, she’s kind of pretty. Not my type though. And she seems to be crying. Bit too emotional.
“Are you okay?”
“Oh, Mark” she sobs. Bloody hell, I know her. “Thank goodness you’re all right”. She’s reaching out and squeezing my arm.
“Erm, excuse me?”
“I know, Mark, I know… the hospital called. They told me all about it. God, I was terrified. I’m so sorry, I panicked. I couldn’t do anything, I just sat there for ages and ages before I managed to get going. And then I saw you in the car, I was so relieved! Oh, Mark, I thought all sorts of things, I thought I lost you!” and she’s hugging me again. Carefully I return the hug, thinking who is this mad woman and what does she know about the hospital. How could she know? And what the hell is her name!
“Erm…” I start. Pretty good start I think.
“Oh, Mark, my darling, you must be in shock. Come on, let’s go home, we can talk about it there.”
Oh no, I’m really not liking where this is going.
“Listen” she says, her words continuing to gush, “why don’t I drive. You just relax. Come on, I’ll fix us a nice drink and we can talk about it. Oh, Mark, it’s good to see you.”
Well the driving and the drink sound good, the rest I can sort out later.