“I know.”
“What else is going on? I know it’s more than just that. What aren’t you telling me?”
She drew in a deep, ragged sigh. “It’s the anniversary of my mom’s death this weekend.”
Dammit. Loren had at one time known that date, while she and Ross were first responsible for Tilly after Cris had left her.
She’d totally forgotten. “Oh, sweetheart.”
Tilly crumbled, no remnant of her tough facade remaining. “I have all of this, I have the guys, I have a good life, nice things. And I don’t get to take care of her the way she tried so damn hard to take care of me. Where was her happy ending? The man she thought she loved is the one who raped and abused me. She died feeling guilty and responsible and I didn’t blame her for it. I didn’t even get to tell her one last time that I loved her.”
Loren wrapped both arms around Tilly, holding her, comforting her while she wept, stroking her hair. “You just have to figure out a way to come to peace with it in your heart. I don’t have an answer for you. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You’ve been through a lot of shit in your life, stuff that most people would have thrown their hands up over by now and said fuck it, I’m done. You’ve clawed and scratched your way back from the emotional brink several times in your life, mostly alone. Now you have two guys who love you and want to be there for you. Let them. Lean on them.”
“I know.”
“And quit worrying about some damn tough-guy image you think you need to live up to. We’re your friends. We love you for who you are, not who you think you need to be for us.”
Loren heard a soft knock on the door. “Tilly?”
Landry.
Loren looked at Tilly, who nodded.
Loren got up and let Landry—and Cris—in. They both wore worried expressions.
She closed the door behind them, locking it again before returning to sit on the bed next to her friend with her arm around her shoulders again.
Both men dropped to their knees in front of Tilly, each one taking a hand.
“Love, do you wish to go home?” Landry asked.
She sniffled. “No, I just need some time to get my head screwed back on straight, is all.”
“It’s the anniversary of her mom’s death,” Loren said.
Cris winced. “Dammit. I’m sorry, Redbird. I forgot.”
“That’s fifteen for you,” Landry drawled at him. “And another five for not making sure it’s on my calendar as well.”
Tilly poked Landry in the chest. “Overruled.” She sniffled again. “No cane strokes for that. I was trying not to think about it. I was hoping it’d be easier for me this year, with everything else kind of stabilized and smoothed out in our lives. It finally just hit me really hard when I wasn’t expecting it, and I didn’t want to ruin tonight for anyone.
Loren kissed her on the forehead. “Do you want some private time with your guys?”
“Yeah, I think so. Thanks.”
“No problem. That’s what friends are for.” She stood and walked over to the door. “I’ll lock it behind me and sort of keep watch so no one bugs you guys.
“Thank you, Loren,” Landry told her. “You are a blessing. You truly are.”
“Yeah, well, you just keep remembering that. Both of you. You don’t get her cheered up soon, you’ll be dealing with me.”
She locked the door and pulled it shut behind her, glancing around.
No one at the party seemed the wiser.
She got engaged in a conversation with Gilo and Abbey, who were standing nearby in the living room. A few minutes later, Ross walked up and nibbled on the side of her neck.
“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”
“Can’t play right now, Sir.”
He frowned. “Why not?”
She hooked a thumb over her shoulder at the door. “Tilly needs some privacy with her guys. Talking.” She leaned in and whispered in his ear the basics.
“Oh. Oh, shit. Jesus, I’m stupid. I totally forgot.”
“Shh.” She glanced over where Abbey and Gilo were now talking with Sean about the latest Baxter pics posted on their website.
“Sorry,” Ross whispered. He turned, his back to the door, and studied the room. “I’ll stand guard with you. We’ll distract anyone.”
She hooked her arm through his. “Good plan, Sir.”
“I have one every so often.”
Chapter Eleven
Essie wouldn’t deny the Sybian intrigued her. Finally, after a lot of mental back and forth over it, she let her men talk her into using it.
The doctor had assured her that, as long as she was comfortable and she had no other complications, she was free to engage in sex as often and in whatever way she wanted.
Her men, obviously, had eased way back on the impact play with her, although their impact play hadn’t been very intense to start with in the grander scheme of things. Their play had always lain closer to the tamer end of the scale when comparing their exploits to those of some of their friends.
Excluding the poly component of their dynamic, they were downright vanilla by some standards.
Especially now.
Which wasn’t a problem for her. Their particular dynamic had been more rooted in the relationship aspect than in the actual impact play.
Who wouldn’t want three hunky, dominant men taking charge, especially in bed, and keeping her happily in hand? Not that they were domineering, because they weren’t. And she knew that, while pleased they were going to be parents, her men felt a twinge of failure on their part that she’d accidentally gotten pregnant sooner than they’d intended. They felt that, in a way, her consent had been taken from her.
And that was something that didn’t sit well with any of the three men.
Essie thought she’d finally gotten it through their collectively thick skulls that no, she didn’t mind that it had happened, and no, she didn’t resent it. That it was just an unexpected wrinkle in their lives, but not an unpleasant one.
Hence, the Sybian would be an interesting diversion.
She stripped and, with Josh and Ted helping her kneel, she slowly impaled herself on the condom-clad dildo. She wasn’t going to try the double one, having had plenty of DP in her life with her guys.
Again, not a complaint.
She had zero complaints about her men or their sex lives together.
Mark smiled at her. “I feel like I should start a stopwatch or give you a cowboy hat or something,” he joked.
“What?”
“Stay on eight seconds and you win a prize.”
“What kind of prize?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Giving us blow jobs?”
“That’s a prize for you,” she teased.
“Well, duh.” He nudged the controller and she felt the low humming start in the device, traveling through her clit, through the dildo, into her pussy.
“Mmm.”
Ted and Josh knelt next to her, arms around her and supporting her, playing with her nipples.
“Is that a good ‘mmm’?” Mark asked.
“Mm-hmm.”
With a chuckle, he bumped up the dial a little more.
“Oooh…”
“I know that sound,” Josh said. “That’s a good sound.”
Mark tweaked it again, then started adding a little rotation to the mix.
“Ooohhh…” Her hands clamped down around her men’s shoulders as she felt herself charging up the climb.
“Aaand how about this?” Mark asked.
He tweaked the setting again, and that catapulted her over the edge like a rocket sled. She closed her eyes, enjoying the way the vibrations seemed to seep through every pore of her body, hitting her inside and out, intensity the likes of which she hadn’t felt before.
And with three very skilled men to keep her happy, she’d felt a lot of intensity before this.
“I think that’s a winner,” Ted said. “Hold it right there.”
Josh
nipped the side of her neck. “Look at our gorgeous girl, helpless and coming.” He pinched her nipple, hard. “I think we found a new toy we’ll have to invest in.”
Mark knelt in front of her, reaching out and cupping her chin in his hands. “Open your eyes, baby. Tell me what it feels like.”
Forcing her eyes open was more difficult a task than she’d expected, and as she stared at him, Mark laughed.
“Subspace achieved,” he said. “I’d know that gorgeous glazed look anywhere.”
They let her ride it for a few more minutes before Mark shut it off. While Josh and Ted helped her up and moved off to the side with her to snuggle, with a blanket wrapped around her, Mark took care of cleaning up and getting it ready for the next victim, or volunteer, as the case might be.
As she finally started getting her senses back, she yawned. “Okay, sorry, boys. That wore me out.”
“You want to go home?” Ted asked.
“No, not yet, but if you guys want a round two with me later once we do, it’s going to be either quick hand-jobs from me, or super-fast quickie fucks, because I’ll end up conking out on you if you take too long.”
She didn’t want to pass up an opportunity with her men, especially since their privacy would be limited once she had the baby.
But that had been…wow.
“So is the Sybian a winner?” Josh asked.
“Yeah, but if we get one, y’all might not be able to keep me off it,” she joked.
“And that’s why there are chastity belts,” Ted joked.
She stuck her tongue out at him.
Chapter Twelve
As the evening wore on, Rebecca completely relaxed and started to really enjoy herself. She’d already met most of the attendees at least a couple of times, either at a munch, dinner at Sigalo’s, or at Venture, the BDSM club they all went to.
She wouldn’t deny a secret twinge of pride to see two women wearing custom chainmaille collars she’d made, as well as several women and even a man wearing her bracelets. It felt good to know what she did was appreciated by the community, by people she respected and who she was glad she could call friends.
At one point, Logan sidled up to her, a playful look on his face. “So. Did you want to take a ride on the Sybian tonight?”
She’d been eyeing the device with a mix of curiosity and fear all evening. She’d heard about them before, but hadn’t seen one up close and in person until tonight.
During her time with Logan and Toby, she’d expanded her boundaries as her trust for them grew. There were lots of things she’d never before dreamed she’d even try, much less like.
Or love.
Mostly because they didn’t force her to do things.
“Is that an order, Sir?” Normally, unless they were playing, she didn’t call either man “Sir.” They were equals, partners in their relationship, although Logan tended to be the more sadistic of the two men, and Toby had no problem at all bottoming to him. Although she did view them as her Dominants, even if in quiet, subtler ways others might not pick up on if they didn’t know what to look for.
And she proudly wore the chainmaille necklace they made for her as her day collar.
“Only if you want it to be an order,” he teased. “If you’d like me to order you to ride the Sybian because you’re too nervous to say yes on your own, sure. I can do that.”
“That’s spooky, how you read my mind like that.”
He leaned in and nibbled on the side of her neck, pulling a soft gasp from her. “It’s what I do, baby. It’s what I do. But that wasn’t an answer.”
She stared at the device. “Maaaybe. Not right now. And I want both of you there with me if I do say yes.”
“Well, of course.” He grinned. “Maybe I’ll make Toby ride it, too.”
She snorted at that mental image. “He might like it too damn much.”
“Maybe we should think about getting one for us.”
“We’ll never get him out of the house if we do that.”
“Well, there is that. He still needs to work for a living.” He gently nudged her. “No is an acceptable answer, sweetie.”
“I’m still thinking.”
“I’m not going to force you.”
“I know that. I’m still deciding if I want to do it and just want a nudge in the right direction, or if I want to do it at all.”
“I could make Toby go first.”
Hmm. Now there was a helluva plan, if she ever heard one.
She looked up at him, smiling. “Yes, please, Sir.”
“Ooh.” He pulled her close, grinding his hips against her. “I got a ‘Sir’ out of that. I like it when you call me that.”
“I know you do. Which is why I save it for special occasions.”
“Like shoving Toby under the bus to take one for the team and make him go first?”
“Exactly. I’m no dummy.”
“No, you definitely are not a dummy, sweetheart. I love your brain, I love your body, and I love you.” He nibbled on the side of her neck, something always guaranteed to melt her panties.
Well, if she was wearing any. Which tonight, she wasn’t.
Another request she’d readily agreed to. It wasn’t like they demanded she run around naked all the time, although Toby the switch had no problem fulfilling that command.
Hell, Toby usually volunteered to strip. Trying to keep clothes on the man was sometimes the problem, not getting him to shuck them in the first place.
“Where is Toby, anyway?” she asked, reluctant to look around, which might make Logan stop delivering the delicious nibbles to the side of her neck.
“I think he’s out on the lanai. Landry was volunteering Cris to be a human piñata or something in honor of Kinko de Mayo, and I think Toby’s trying to instigate.”
“Well, if we’re going to throw him under the bus, we probably should do it before someone else takes up residence on the damn thing.”
“Not a bad idea.”
Then Toby walked up. “Ooh, there you are,” Logan said.
Toby’s blue gaze narrowed suspiciously. “That’s a pretty damn evil grin you’re wearing there, buster.”
“I know.”
He homed in on Rebecca. “What’d you volunteer me for, babe? That’s a ‘throw Toby under the bus’ look if I’ve ever seen one. And I’ve seen a lot of them from you.”
She grinned. “You get to go first on the Sybian.”
Toby would have snapped his neck had he swiveled his head around any faster to look at where the device was set up in the corner of the living room.
“Oooh. You know, I don’t think I mind tasting axle grease this time. And by first do you mean you’ll go second?”
She felt her face heat. “Maaaybe.”
His head swiveled back again, his gaze focused on her. “Maybe? Was that a ‘you first’ maybe or a ‘I’ll let him go first and then chicken out’ maybe?”
She shrugged. “What’s life without a few surprises?”
Logan scruffed the back of Toby’s neck and pulled him in close. “You know you want to do it,” he murmured in Toby’s ear. “You know you want to sit on that thing and give me a blow job while Rebecca’s giving you one.”
Rebecca’s ears perked up at the mention of her name. “Say what?”
Logan grinned, ear-to-ear and looking evilly playful. “If he’s going first, it’s only fair he gets a reward, right? Or I can let you suck him and then fuck you while you’re doing that. Either way.”
Her pussy clenched at that mental image, knowing she would do it and not needing to be asked or ordered. This was a small, private party, and as long as it was consensual, it was anything goes.
“Yes, Sir.”
* * * *
They figured out the right attachment, since the devices were built more with women’s anatomies in mind. After rolling a condom onto the toy to make clean-up easier, lubing it up, and then Logan lubing the hell out of Toby’s ass, Toby straddled the thing and slowly started
fucking himself down onto the dildo until it was buried all the way in his ass.
He let out a moan. “Holy crap. Let’s do this. Start out slow, man.”
Srcrye handed Logan the controller. They flipped a switch and Toby let out a yelp as the device screamed to life before Scrye got it turned off again.
“Whoops,” Scrye said. “Heh. Sorry, man. Sort of popped the clutch.” He made an adjustment to the controller and they tried again.
This time, Toby let out a long, rolling moan that definitely didn’t sound like pain. “Ooohhh… We have got to get…us…one of…these…”
“Told ya,” Rebecca said.
Logan grinned. “I thought someone was supposed to be blowing him?”
Sinking down onto her hands and knees, she leaned in, grabbed Toby’s rigid cock, and sucked him down to the root.
“Ooohhh…fuuuck…” Toby grabbed her head, maybe a little harder than he’d intended, but she didn’t care. He dug his fingers into her scalp, urging her to move her head faster, harder up and down his cock since the angle of the dildo he was impaled on meant he couldn’t easily rock his hips back and forth.
Logan knelt behind Rebecca. “Mmm, yes. I think I’d rather do this.” He shoved up the hem of her dress over her back and reached between her legs, making her whimper. Two fingers easily slid into her pussy, which she had to admit was really eager to try the device now.
She was barely aware of Logan unfastening his jeans, then she felt his cock slide home into her with zero resistance.
“Keep sucking him, baby,” Logan ordered as he grabbed her hips and started fucking her.
She suspected he might not let her come this time, and sure enough, she was right. He fucked her hard and fast, shoving her onto Toby’s cock at the bottom of every stroke. But without reaching around and giving her a little bit of an assist, she wasn’t getting off this time.
“Yes, I know this is mean,” Logan said, his voice sounding strained. “But I’m going to get off, and he’s going to get off, then we’ll let you ride the Sybian, and you can get off until either you safeword, or we say you can stop coming.”
She moaned, and that was enough to trigger Toby. He pulled her mouth down onto his cock until her nose and chin were pressed against his body. Hot jets of his cum filled her mouth, over and over, until his grip on her head finally relaxed and she could breathe again.