" Come along in," I said. " I'm tired."
But when we entered the room I felt my fear returning Those moments on the balcony had done that, those chance words of Gabriel's. I was certainly strung up, which was unusual for me. But all would be well to-morrow, I promised myself.
During the next two days I explored the house and the surrounding country. I was fascinated--at times enchanted, at times repelled. I enjoyed being in the house during the day-time, and I was continually losing my way in it; but when dusk fell--I am ashamed to admit--the habit of looking furtively over my shoulder when I was. alone persisted.
I had never stayed in such a large or ancient house; when one was alone the present seemed to merge into the past; it was because so much of the furniture had been in the house for centuries and one could not get away from the idea that this was exactly how it had looked hundreds of years ago, when other footsteps, other voices had been heard, other figures had made those long shadows on the walls.
It was absurd to be influenced by such fancies when the people in the house were normal enough; I had them all clearly docketed in my mind within those first days: Sir Matthew, jolly old squire fond of good food, wine and women, a typical country squire of this or any other century; Aunt 50 Sarah, the spinster who had always lived at home, somewhat innocent, remembering the birthdays, the triumphs and failures of every member of the family, and only now that she was growing old forgetting to whom they had happened and thinking now and then that Gabriel's new wife was her sister- in-law, Claire, long dead wife of Sir Matthew; there was Ruth who had been mistress of the house since her mother had died, and naturally enough mildly resented the intruder; there was Luke, a young man absorbed in his own affairs as most young men were. A normal family similar to those which were to be found in many households throughout the country.
I had tried to make myself pleasant and I was sure I was succeeding.
Ruth of course was the most difficult to reassure:
I did want her to know that I had no intention of ousting her from her position. Heaven knew this house was large enough, for us to live our separate lives in. Sir Matthew was master of the house and she was his daughter, who had been mistress of the place since she came of age, had continued to live here after her marriage, and naturally had remained when she became a widow. I wanted her to know that I considered she had more right to be the chat elaine of Kirkland Revels than I had.
She told me of the dinner party she was planning, and I candidly replied that she must go ahead with her plans, for I had come from a very small household and had done no housekeeping, having but a short while before my marriage been at school.
This seemed to please her and I felt happy.
During the first morning Gabriel was with his father;
I guessed there were certain business matters concerning the estate which had to be discussed, particularly as Gabriel had been away from home so long. I assured him that I was well able to take care of myself.
I planned to take Friday for a walk, for I was eager' to explore the country and in particular to have a look at the Abbey ruins. But on my way downstairs I met Luke. He grinned at me in a friendly way and stooped to have a word with Friday. Friday was delighted to be taken notice of and there was no doubt that he took a fancy to Luke right from the first.
" I like dogs," Luke told me.
"You have none?"
He shook his head. " Who'd look after them when I am away? I was often away ... at school, you know. Now I'm in the transistory period.
I have left school and shall shortly be going to Oxford."
" Surely there are plenty of people to look after a dog while you're away?"
" I don't see it. If you have a dog it's your dog and you can't trust anyone else to look after it. Have you seen the house yet?" he asked.
" Not aH of it."
" I'll take you on a conducted tour. You ought to know it. You'll get lost if you don't. It's so easy to take the wrong turning. Shall I show it to you?"
I was anxious to be friends, and I felt it was best to accept his invitation. Moreover, I was eager to see the house, so I decided the walk could wait until the tour was over.
I had no idea of the size of the house. I reckoned there must be at least a hundred rooms. Each of the four parts which made up that rectangle of stone was like a house in itself, and it certainly was easy to lose oneself.
" The story goes," Luke told me, " that one of our ancestors married four wives and kept them in separate houses; and for a long time none of them knew of the existence of the other three."
" It sounds like Bluebeard."
"Perhaps the original Bluebeard was a Rockwell. There are dark secrets in our history, Catherine. You've no idea what a family you've married intol" His light eyes regarded me with amusement which was not untinged with cynicism; and I was reminded of Gabriel's decision not to tell the family that he was going to marry me. Of course they regarded me as a fortune-hunter, for not only would Gabriel inherit this house, but also the means which would enable him to live in such a place, as well as the title which, as the only son of his baronet father, would be his when the old man died.
" I'm beginning to learn," I told him.
I went through those rooms in a state of bewilderment there were so many, and all had the high windows, the lofty ceilings often decorated with exquisite carving, the panelled walls, the furniture of another age. I saw the great cellars, the kitchens, where I met some of the servants who also seemed to eye me with a certain suspicion; I saw the other three balconies so like that near our own room; I examined 52 the massive stone pillars which supported them, and the faces of gargoyles which seemed to grimace at me from everywhere.
" How fond they seemed to be of these devils and grotesques," I said.
" They were to scare off intruders," Luke told me. " You must admit they're somewhat scarifying. Keep off," they seem to be saying. The devils of Kirkland will get you if you don't look out. "" " Surely they sometimes wanted to welcome visitors," I murmured lightly.
" We must have been an inhospitable crowd, sufficient unto ourselves perhaps."
When we reached the gallery he took me round, explaining who the subjects were. There was the first Sir Luke who had built the place, a fierce-looking gentleman in armour. There was Thomas, Mark, John, several Matthews and another Luke.
" We always have biblical names," he said. " It's a feature of the family. Always Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, Peter Simon, anything you can think of ... even down to the Angel Gabriel. I often call him Angel, though he doesn't like it much. I think that was going a bit too far. A nice down-to- earth Mark or John would have been so much better. Now that Sir Luke ... he died young. He jumped over the balcony in the west wing."
I stared at the young man in the picture; they were all so lifelike, those pictures, that the lips seemed to move as I watched.
" And that," went on Luke, " Is John who, about a hundred years after, decided he'd die the same way. He jumped over the balcony in the north wing. Strange, isn't it. Although I think he got the idea from that Luke," I turned away. This talk made me feel uneasy. I was not sure why.
As I moved towards a woman in a feathered Gainsborough type hat, I heard Luke's voice at my elbow. " My great-great great-grandmother.
Only I'm not sure of the number of greats. " I went on walking along the gallery.
" Oh, and here's your father-in-law himself," he added.
A younger Sir Matthew looked back at me; his flowing cravat was the essence of elegance as was his green velvet jacket; his complexion was ruddy, rather than port wine, his eyes slightly bigger than they were now, and I was sure that 53 I had not been mistaken when I had judged him to have been something of a rake in his day. And beside him was a woman whom I knew to be his wife; she was beautiful in a frail way and there was an expression of resignation on her face. Gabriel's mother, I thought, who had died soon after his birth. And there was a picture of Gabriel himself, looking young and innocent.
"You'll be beside him," said Luke.
"You'll be captured like the rest and held prisoner on canvas ... so that in two hundred years' time the new lady of the house will come to look at you and wonder about you."
I shivered, and was conscious of a great desire to escape from him, to get out of the house, if only for half an hour, because the talk of suicides had oppressed me.
" Friday is impatient for his walk," I said. " I think perhaps that I should take him now. It is very good of you to have taken so much trouble to show me everything."
" But I have not shown you everything There is a great deal more for you to see."
" I shall enjoy it more another time," I replied firmly.
He bowed his head.
"When," he murmured, "it will be my pleasure to continue with our tour."
I went down the staircase and, half-way, turned to look back. Luke was standing by the portraits watching me, looking as though he had but to step up into one of those frames to become one of them.
The rest of the day I spent with Gabriel. We went for a ride in the afternoon, right out on to the moors; and when we came back it was time to change for dinner, and the evening was spent like the previous one.
Before we retired for the night Gabriel took me out to the balcony, and as he stood for a while admiring that superb view I remarked that I had not yet visited the Abbey ruins and decided that I would do so the next day.
During the morning which followed, Gabriel was again with his father and I wandered on with Friday; this time I went to the Abbey.
As I approached those ancient piles I was struck with wonder. It was a sunny morning; and here and there the stone glistened as though it had been set with diamonds. I could have believed that this was not a ruin, for the great tower was intact and so was the wall which was facing me; it was not until I came close that I realised that there was no 54 roof but the sky. The Abbey nestled in the valley close to the river and I guessed that it would be more sheltered from the storms than the Revels was. Now I saw clearly the high Norman tower, the ancient buttresses and the nave which, like the tower, was almost intact, apart from the fact that there was no roof. I was surprised at the vastness of the ruins and I thought how interesting it would be to make a plan of the Abbey and try to rebuild it in the imagination.
Friday was running to and fro in great excitement as though he shared my emotions about the place. Here, I told myself, was a shell; yet there were enough stones to indicate which parts were the kitchens for instance, the cloister, the nave, the transept, the monks' quarters.
It was necessary to tread warily, for here and there stones jutted dangerously out of the ground. I lost Friday for a moment and was immediately conscious of a panic which was quite ridiculous; equally so was my relief, when after I had called to him, he came running back to me.
I wondered from what part of the Abbey the stones had been taken to build the house. I wanted to learn something of the history of this house and the family to which I now belonged. I laughed at myself.
There was so much I did not know about my own husband. Why was he so secretive with me? Why was there this constant feeling that he was hiding something from me?
I sat down on a ridge of stones, obviously all that was left of a room of some sort the monks' dorter, I hazarded and I told myself then that I had not thought enough of Gabriel since I had arrived here.
Naturally Gabriel would be full of odd fancies; he was a young man who was afflicted with a disease of the heart which threatened his life.
It was for that reason that he was moody. He was afraid of death and I had thought it was something in the house, something in these old ruins which had disturbed him! How should / feel if Death were round the corner, waiting for me? That was something which one could not imagine until it happened to one.
I would make Gabriel happy. Moreover, I would not accept the inevitability of death as he seemed to. I would take such care of him that he would live on.
Friday's barking startled me out of my daydream. I called:
" Friday 1 Friday!"
And as he did not come to me I went to look for him.
I found him in the hands of a strange man; be was 55 struggling and, if he had not been so expertly held, he would have bitten those hands which imprisoned him.
" Friday 1" I called. Then the man who held him turned to look at me.
He was of medium height and I was struck by his brilliant dark eyes and olive complexion.
He released the dog when he saw me and, taking off his hat, bowed.
Friday ran to me, barking furiously and, as I came forward, stood between me and the stranger as though to protect me.
" So the dog is yours, madam," said the man.
"Yes, what happened? He's usually so friendly."
" He was a little annoyed with me." I noticed the flash of very white teeth in that dark face.
"He didn't understand that I probably saved his life."
" How was that?"
He turned and pointed to what I saw now was a well.
" He was perilously perched on the edge, looking down. If he had decided to explore farther, that would have been the end of him."
" Then I have to thank you."
He inclined his head, " This was the monks' well. It's deep and probably not very sweet down there."
I peered over into the darkness. I was looking down the narrow well, to what might have been water at the bottom.
" He's rather inquisitive," I said.
"I should put him on a lead when you bring him here again. And you will come here again, won't you? I can see this place intrigues you.
You have a look in your eyes which betrays your interest. "
" Surely everyone would be interested."
" Some more than others. May I introduce myself? I believe I know you. You are Mrs. Gabriel Rockwell, are you not?"
" But how did you know?"
He spread his hands and smiled again; it was a warm, friendly smile. "
A simple deduction. I knew you were due to arrive and, as I know almost everyone in these parts, I put two and two together and tried to guess."
" Your guess was correct."
"Then welcome to our community. My name is Devere] Smith. Doctor. I am at the Revels almost every day, so we should have met sooner or later."
"I have heard you mentioned."
"Pleasantly, I hope?"
" Very much so."
" I'm an old friend of the family as well as the doctor; and of course Sir Matthew and Miss Rock-well are no longer young. They both need my services rather frequently. Tell me, when did you arrive?"
I told him and he listened gravely. I thought there was a foreign look about him but his name was as English as it could be; I supposed he seemed so dark because of the extreme fairness of my new relations.
He said: " I was going to call at the Revels to-day. Shall we walk back together?"
We did so and he made me feel that I had found a new friend.
He talked familiarly of the family, and when he spoke of Gabriel there was an anxious note in his voice. I knew what that meant and I wanted to speak to him about Gabriel's health, but I refrained from doing so.
Later, I promised myself. He would be easy to talk to.
He told me that he had been invited to dine at the house on Saturday.
" My daughter and I," he added.
I was astonished that he should have a daughter old enough to be invited to a dinner party. He saw my surprise and I liked him no less because he appeared to be pleased by it. I had thought he was somewhere in his mid-thirties, but decided he must be older than that.
" I have a seventeen-year-old daughter," he said. " She enjoys parties. My wife is not well enough to attend them, so she and I go together."
" I shall look forward to meeting her."
" Damaris is looking forward to meeting you." He smiled.
" Damaris! That is an unusual name."
" You
like it? It's from the Bible. Just a brief mention ... but it's here."
I remembered what Luke had said about biblical names, and I wondered if it was a custom in this part of the world to take names from the Bible.
I was about to mention this ; then I remembered that Madame la Directrice had said that my impetuosity often verged on bad manners, so I restrained myself.
We went into the Revels together. The doctor sent one of the servants to tell Ruth he had arrived; and I went up to my room.
-I wore a white gown on the night of the dinner party. It was the only real evening ore that if entertaining at the Re scale. I should have some white chiffon and lace, very si: