SnowAngel:
but in that case why wouldn’t she admit it?
mad maddie:
beats me
SnowAngel:
and if she DIDN’T say it, who did? i called kristin, and she swears it wasn’t her. but who would have made something like that up?
mad maddie:
chill, angela
mad maddie:
if zoe says she didn’t say it, she didn’t say it.
SnowAngel:
but it bugs me! wouldn’t it bug you if someone was saying un-true things about YOU?
mad maddie:
it’s probably some dumb misunderstanding, but i’ll keep my ears open tomorrow. if i hear anything i’ll tell you!
Fri, Feb 10, 4:33 PM E.S.T.
mad maddie:
hey, zo. u guys doin’ the deed at PP?
zoegirl:
we’re here right now. eek!
zoegirl:
sad posters on walls. sad people in chairs. waiting my turn.
mad maddie:
text when u get back
zoegirl:
will do. thx for checking in!
Fri, Feb 10, 4:40 PM E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
hey, zo! pretend i’m whispering, k?
zoegirl:
whisper-texting?
SnowAngel:
yeah, to be polite.
SnowAngel:
but check out the girl wearing the “NO” shirt. is that a baby bump or is she just chubby?
zoegirl:
tough call. baby bump?
SnowAngel:
that’s my guess. think that’s why she wears the “NO” shirt now?
zoegirl:
she looks 14. sheesh.
SnowAngel:
no no no to unprotected sex! and to cat-eye eyeliner. just sayin’.
zoegirl:
that’s why we’re here. and have you ever seen me do cat-eye eyeliner?
SnowAngel:
maybe she thinks it makes her look older? THIS IS BAD DECISION CITY!
Fri, Feb 10, 6:10 PM E.S.T.
zoegirl:
well … i did it!
mad maddie:
you are with pill?
zoegirl:
i am with pill. is that weird or what?
mad maddie:
what was it like? i want deets!
zoegirl:
it was *crazy*. the woman i talked to was nice, i guess, but she was very … straightforward.
mad maddie:
like how?
zoegirl:
she had a plastic model of a vulva, for one thing. it sat on her desk like a flower arrangement.
mad maddie:
ye gads
zoegirl:
but it was more just the way she talked about everything. like she asked me what kind of “sex play” i’d engaged in, and she went through this checklist, bam bam bam, as if we were making a grocery list. AND she made angela stay outside in the waiting room, so i was all by myself!
mad maddie:
what kind of sex play HAVE you engaged in?
zoegirl:
really?!
zoegirl:
and she asked me if i smoked—as if!
zoegirl:
she told me that doug and i should use condoms even if i did go on the pill, and that we should *talk* about everything before we actually *do* anything. here’s her rule: “the topic should come up and the condom should come out before your zipper goes down.”
mad maddie:
that’s classic
mad maddie:
you should have a plaque with that needlepointed onto it. you could hang it above your bed.
zoegirl:
honestly, she made me want to swear off sex forever. it all sounds so complicated!
mad maddie:
she’s right, tho. if yr gonna have sex with someone, you should be able to talk to them about it.
zoegirl:
and another hot tip: she said to consider the use of “lubricants,” but never vaseline.
zoegirl:
am i really going to be using … lubricants?
mad maddie:
i dunno. r u?
zoegirl:
AND she asked me if i’d had any abortions, and if so, how many.
zoegirl:
i’m 17! are there really 17-year-olds out there who’ve had multiple abortions?
mad maddie:
i’m sure there are. depressing, isn’t it?
zoegirl:
angela and i saw this one couple out in the waiting room. they were about our age, and the guy was holding the girl’s hand and she was crying. it made me wonder if … you know. if that was what she was there for.
mad maddie:
at least the guy came with her
zoegirl:
true
mad maddie:
but yr not gonna get preggo, cuz yr going on the pill.
zoegirl:
right. RIGHT. i start the first sunday after my next period, which should be in a week or so. and once i’ve started, we’re supposed to wait a month to be safe.
mad maddie:
you’ve waited this long, what’s another month?
zoegirl:
well, that’s kind of how i feel, to tell you the truth.
zoegirl:
my counselor-lady said there might be side effects that come with taking the pill, like weight gain, moodiness, and “spotty darkening of the skin.” doesn’t that sound lovely?
mad maddie:
lucky u
zoegirl:
i told angela that part, and she turned pale. she was all, “why is it always the girls who get stuck with this crap? why can’t the GUYS get spotty darkening of the skin?!”
mad maddie:
ah, angela, how i love her
mad maddie:
alexis winthrop came up to me today and asked if it was true that she’s after doug, btw.
zoegirl:
oh great
mad maddie:
i told her no, of course
zoegirl:
i don’t understand. it’s like 1 little seed got planted, and now it’s growing into this huge thing.
mad maddie:
ppl like gossip, especially when it’s something bad.
zoegirl:
not me! angela and i made a pact that if anyone says anything, we’re just gonna ignore it.
mad maddie:
it doesn’t bother you?
zoegirl:
are you kidding?
zoegirl:
i asked kristin point blank if she talked about angela and doug with anyone else, and she swore up and down that the only comment she made was that one to me.
mad maddie:
what about paige? did you ask her about it?
zoegirl:
no. i almost did, but sitting there in english during the actual moment, i felt too ridiculous.
zoegirl:
it’s all so stupid, i figured just let it go.
mad maddie:
makes sense.
zoegirl:
you DO know i didn’t say any of that stuff, right? about angela flirting with doug?
mad maddie:
zoe, of course i know that
zoegirl:
i mean, i might have *thought* she was being flirty, just for a sec. but i never said so out loud.
mad maddie:
i know
mad maddie:
i’ve noticed she HAS toned down the flirtation, tho. like today, she basically ignored him.
zoegirl:
yeah, i noticed that too. part of me feels bad, but part of me’s glad.
zoegirl:
although what am i saying? she’s going out with logan, for heaven’s sake.
mad maddie:
oh, right, he’s a great deterrent
Sat, Feb 11, 11:01 AM, E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
ok, little miss nosy pants. i have
a list for you of all the reasons logan is so wonderful.
mad maddie:
hey, i never said logan wasn’t wonderful. i’m just not convinced he’s wonderful for YOU.
SnowAngel:
*clears throat and shakes out piece of paper*
SnowAngel:
Number 1. he loves me and always wants to be with me, even more than with his friends.
mad maddie:
can u say “smother”?
SnowAngel:
Number 2. he downloads songs onto my iPod and makes romantic playlists.
mad maddie:
very sweet, i admit. have you ever made HIM romantic playlists?
SnowAngel:
Number 3. he’s extremely cute. even you can’t deny that!
mad maddie:
i never have! altho no more Hard Rock Cafe shirts. cld u tell him that, plz? no more Hard Rock?
SnowAngel:
and Number 4. he doesn’t look at internet porn!
mad maddie:
hardy har har
mad maddie:
is that all you’ve got?
SnowAngel:
noooo, that’s not all. that’s just all i came up with this very second, off the top of my head.
mad maddie:
dude, i love logan—as a PAL. and i know you do too. i’m just not convinced he gets you hot and bothered.
SnowAngel:
we have fun together. he gives great foot rubs, and he loves “mad men.” he’ll watch episodes back to back with me for as long as i want.
SnowAngel:
he’s a catch—even aunt sadie says so. we have a *great* relationship!
mad maddie:
then why are you working so hard to defend it?
SnowAngel:
and i would like to point out that having a boyfriend who’s also a “pal” is a good thing. in the long run that’s much more important than getting hot and bothered.
mad maddie:
is it? i personally think you should go for both.
SnowAngel:
he’s gonna inherit his dad’s business one day, did you know that?
mad maddie:
u did NOT just say that
SnowAngel:
and tonite we’re doubling with zoe and doug, so there. it’s a pre-valentine’s day thing.
mad maddie:
ooo-wee, that’s sure to be fun.
SnowAngel:
well … to tell the truth, i’d back out if i could. i don’t want to be around doug and have zoe accuse me of throwing myself at him again.
mad maddie:
angela, zoe DIDN’T accuse you of throwing yourself at him.
SnowAngel:
or of trying to lure him away or having pent-up feelings for him or whatever. but if she’s gonna pretend there isn’t all this tension floating around, then so am i.
SnowAngel:
HOWEVER, it’s gonna be hard when it’s just me and logan and zoe and doug. won’t you come with us? please please pleasy please?
mad maddie:
can’t. i’m going over to mark and pelt-woman’s new pad for dinner. pelt-woman is making vegetarian lasagna in a desperate attempt to cover up the smell of kimchee.
SnowAngel:
huh?
mad maddie:
their new place smells like korean food from the ppl who lived there before them.
SnowAngel:
mad maddie:
you know what’s weird? i can’t get used to the fact that mark moved out. you’d think i’d be, “wh-hoo, more doritos for me!” but the house feels wrong w/o him.
SnowAngel:
u miss him. that’s normal.
mad maddie:
i didn’t say i missed him. who said anything about missing him?
SnowAngel:
*deadpans* oh, right, cuz yr tough, strong maddie who takes it all in stride. you luuuuuuuuuuv change. you luuuuuuv change so much you can’t wait to dump this town and move to california!
mad maddie:
have you been talking to zoe? r you making fun of me?
SnowAngel:
awww, mads, wld i do that?
mad maddie:
oh, nvm
mad maddie:
have fun on your date!
Sun, Feb 12, 10:00 AM E.S.T.
zoegirl:
morning, angela. that was so fun last night, wasn’t it?
SnowAngel:
uh, sure, we should do it more often
zoegirl:
was it weird that during the movie we were all … you know? i felt kind of strange about it afterward.
SnowAngel:
don’t worry, it was fine
zoegirl:
“fine”? just “fine”??? i doubt logan would like hearing you call it that!
zoegirl:
jk
zoegirl:
anyway, we’re all consenting adults.
SnowAngel:
exactly. of course. no need to talk about it again.
zoegirl:
i’m just so glad the four of us were able to spend time together without there being any ridiculous undercurrents. if anybody ever *did* think you were secretly lusting after doug, they sure wouldn’t after last night!
SnowAngel:
cuz i’m NOT lusting after doug. god!
zoegirl:
i know! i know, angela.
zoegirl:
but i am
zoegirl:
*swoons*
zoegirl:
although it’s not lust; it’s love. sometimes i think, what would i do without him? and then i feel so … i don’t know, so un-me for feeling that way. although that’s silly, because it *is* me feeling this way …
SnowAngel:
zoegirl:
didn’t you think it was funny when doug did his walking-on-hot-coals impression? can you believe he actually DID walk on hot coals?
SnowAngel:
frankly, no
zoegirl:
but he did, in indonesia
zoegirl:
getting to see so many places *did* change him, but all in good ways.
SnowAngel:
he does seem more confident now. the way he holds himself, even.
zoegirl:
sometimes, even though i know i’m being silly, i get this tiny feeling of wondering whether i’m good enough for him. isn’t that ridiculous? it’s just that i know he’s going to do important things in the world. i just *know* it.
SnowAngel:
so r U, zoe
zoegirl:
well, yeah. who said i wasn’t?
zoegirl:
okay, i’m outta here. i’m meeting doug to study.
SnowAngel:
at 10 o’clock on sunday morning?!
zoegirl:
just because it’s spring semester of our senior year doesn’t mean we can slack off!
Sun, Feb 12, 11:23 AM, E.S.T.
SnowAngel:
maddie, i’m sorry to report that our zoe has gone over the edge. i fear she’s becoming ONE OF THOSE.
mad maddie:
one of what?
SnowAngel:
you know, one of those girls whose lives revolve around their boyfriends. she hung out with him all last nite, and now she’s off with him AGAIN—on a sunday morning when she should be lounging around with messy hair and eating lucky charms from the box!
mad maddie:
let’s see, three guesses what UR doing right now?
SnowAngel:
*sniffs and pops special edition multi-colored whale into mouth*
mad maddie:
doug JUST got back in town. she’s excited, that’s all.
SnowAngel:
i guess *looks miffed anyway*
SnowAngel:
can i tell u something pervy?
mad maddie:
absolutely
SnowAngel:
last nite after dinner, the 4 of us went and played pool at coop’
s. then we went back to zoe’s house and watched HBO, her and doug on one sofa and me and logan on the other. and the lights were off and the door was closed and zoe’s parents weren’t home … and it turned into this weird double Let’s All Make Out session. is that sick? that’s sick, isn’t it?
mad maddie:
u were going at it in the same room? all 4 of u?
SnowAngel:
i know! there was this pretense that we were watching the movie, but no one was, and it was just … icky!