Instead of responding out loud, I held out my hand and placed two fingers about an inch apart, indicating that maybe he’d been pushing a little hard.
I wasn’t about to go into detail about how a week ago, I’d been standing by the casket of a girl I’d failed to help, or that I’d only quit my job a few hours after learning of her death. Nor did I mention it wasn’t until after that abrupt decision that I’d sent in a resumé to the clinic Senator Sondra Thatcher had mentioned to Piety and me when she’d dropped by to speak with Silas.
In under a week, I’d made the decision to flip my life upside down.
Man, I was tired.
“I guess I need to ease off some,” Dash said, unaware of my mental gymnastics as he stared at the wall behind me.
“Well, maybe just be…aware, Dashiell.”
His eyes came to mine then, and I wished I hadn’t said anything. How that had turned into some sort of sexually charged comment, I don’t know, but as he stared at me, I realized that he and I were both all too aware.
And that wasn’t good.
At all.
15
Dash
“Happy Thanksgiving!” Didi threw her arms around my neck before I even made it inside the door.
“Happy Thanksgiving to you too.” I returned the hug and then nudged her back inside, breathing in the scents of turkey, stuffing, and a hundred other good things. Didi’s pre-Thanksgiving experimental dinner had paid off again, it seemed.
My belly rumbled.
Ever since we’d gotten the go-ahead on the clinic, my appetite had returned, and I’d been sleeping easier.
Of course, I’d also been dreaming, and all those dreams centered around the hot, sexy former mermaid running the report section of my HR department.
How in the hell was I supposed to handle working with a woman I wanted to bend over her desk and ride like there was no tomorrow?
I had no idea.
During the mandatory sexual harassment seminar on Tuesday, she’d been selected to read a section from the policy, and every time she said sexual, my dick pulsed. I’d almost had to excuse myself so I could go jack off just to keep from losing it right there. Which, of course, was a perfect reaction to have during a meeting about proper workplace behavior.
And she’d just kept on reading like I hadn’t needed to move my chair closer to the table to hide the fact that I was fucking hard.
“I’m so glad you made it.” Didi took a step back, her eyes bright.
Some thread of worry in her voice pricked through my thoughts. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”
“Well…” She glanced over at her girlfriend, standing a few feet away. When she looked back at me, old insecurities showed in her eyes.
I understood then.
A few weeks ago, Didi told me that Christal wanted the two of them to move in together after Thanksgiving. Then she’d rushed to assure me that she didn’t want things between us to change because of it.
I never thought they would, but I knew Didi’s insecurities went deep. It was understandable. Her parents had all but cut her out of their lives when she’d come out to them, and even though she knew I loved her, some part of her was almost always braced for another cut like that.
When she announced she wanted to have dinner at Christal’s this year, I hadn’t thought much of it.
Now I understood why.
She wanted to make sure I understood I was still part of the family, and she wanted to make sure she was still part of mine. Christal was being added in, and no one was being taken out.
“We’re family, Didi.” I hugged her again, knowing she needed the extra reassurance. “Nothing will ever change that.”
She sniffed and squeezed me tighter for a moment before stepping back again.
With nothing else to say, she gave me a bright smile. “Come on, let’s get you a glass of wine.”
Didi hooked her arm through mine and started to half drag me through the living room. Christal’s place was smaller than Didi’s, but I knew it wasn’t about the size of the home they cared about, but rather who was in it. My chest tightened as a memory pushed forward, and I shoved it back into its box.
Not today.
“Have a glass of wine, and don’t tell me you don’t want any. It’s a damn holiday, and you can cut loose a little bit.”
I didn’t bother arguing. I rarely drank, but I figured I had a good reason to do just what Didi had said. Cut loose. Relax. Even celebrate.
Christal was already in the kitchen when I followed Didi in, and I smiled at her, already feeling some of the tension in me ease. “Should I have the paramedics and cops on standby? Is the oven going to blow up?”
“Oh, hush.” Christal stuck her tongue out at me. “I’m arranging a cheese plate, you twat. There’s no cooking or cutting required.”
“I see your new clients have been expanding your vocabulary.” I chuckled.
“She can do anything decorative. That’s what makes her so great at her job.” Didi paused to kiss Christal on the cheek and then moved to the bottle of wine on the counter. “We just have to keep her away from sharp objects.”
“I’m going to use one on you both.” Christal rolled her eyes, but she had a smile on her face as she kept arranging crackers and pre-cut slices of cheese. “This is a seriously excellent gouda.”
Didi passed me a glass of wine, her head canted to the side as she eyed me. “You look…relaxed. Wow. And you didn’t even put up a fight about taking a glass of wine.”
“What’s the point?” I took a sip of the chardonnay. “You’d just nag me until I gave in just to shut you up.”
“Yes, I would,” she agreed good-naturedly. “That makes this much less painful.”
“Makes what less painful?” Suddenly I felt less relaxed, but I concealed it, taking another sip of wine and moving to swipe a piece of cheese from Christal.
She smacked my hand, but it was worth it. The gouda was excellent. Worth risking another slap.
“Sondra came by the bookstore yesterday and asked a favor.” Didi sipped her wine. “I…um…well, she told me that a friend’s daughter and son-in-law had just moved out here, and they were still trying to settle into their place…buying furniture and all that, plus she’s pregnant and starting a new job…”
Aw, hell.
“You mean Piety Hastings.” I stared down into my glass because I had a bad feeling if Piety was involved, so was Astra.
Astra.
That pretty mouth under mine. Sequins glinting under the light as she marched away from me in that sexy little mermaid costume. Those fucking seashells...
Shit.
“Yes,” Didi said quickly. “I guess Senator Van Allen reached out to Sondra earlier this week to ask if she’d check in with Piety and her husband to see how they were settling in.”
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I take it you invited them over for dinner?”
“I did.” Didi gave me a bright smile. “Sondra took them out to dinner Tuesday, and they came by the store afterward. Such an amazing couple. We all got to talking and Kaleb – that’s Piety’s husband – mentioned that they’d just find a restaurant or something, but…well…” She shrugged. “It’s Thanksgiving.”
“Yes.” I took a drink of wine, emptying the glass. “It’s Thanksgiving.”
The doorbell rang, and my heart jumped.
I didn’t ask if Piety and Kaleb were the only two coming because I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to know until it was absolutely necessary. While Didi went out to answer the door, I moved over to the bottle of wine and filled the glass. It was a good thing I’d already decided to let myself drink today.
I had a feeling I’d need it.
I heard Didi greeting people, and although everything in me wanted to go see if Astra was part of the group, I remained where I was, putting off the inevitable.
A few seconds later, a familiar, bright laugh echoed out of the living room. Taking a sip of the w
ine, I told my dick to return to its resting position and smiled at Christal. “If you want to go on out there, you can leave the cheese plate. It’s safe with me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you come with me and bring the cheese plate.” She pointed a finger at me, narrowing her eyes. “No snitching. That’s for guests first.”
“I’m a guest,” I muttered.
“You’re family,” Christal shot back as she walked past me.
Dammit.
I took the plate and followed, knowing that if I stayed, I’d look like I was hiding.
As I stepped into the room, my eyes found Astra almost immediately. She sat on the arm of the couch, dressed in a clingy sort of metallic gray dress that managed to be both fancy and casual at the same time. The shoulder cut-outs and sweetheart neckline exposed just enough skin to make my mouth water but not so much that she was indecent.
She swung her head around, a smile on her lips. Then she saw me, and maybe it was because I’d spent two days watching her, but I saw that smile freeze just the slightest.
It didn’t fade or die. But seeing me caused some sort of reaction. Not the reaction I wanted though.
A split second later, she tilted her head, eyes sparkling, “Well, hello there, Dashiell.”
“Dashiell?” Didi glanced from Astra to me, curiosity in her voice. No one called me by my full name.
As Astra started to explain how she didn’t think my nickname suited me, I settled in a corner chair so I wouldn’t see Astra unless I turned my head. I needed to not spend the day staring at her.
Not staring.
I could do this.
Shit.
Didi put me next to her at dinner.
Now, not only was I treated to a closer view of the tops of her breasts and left to wonder more about stripping off that dress, I could smell whatever it was she smoothed on that pale, soft skin. It wasn’t cloying or overpowering, but rather complementary to the meal. Like cinnamon or nutmeg or one of those spices.
It made me want to shove everything off the table and feast on her.
My dick would be permanently deformed at this rate, twisted in an uncomfortable position as I sat there, wondering if her pussy tasted as good as her mouth, while Christal and Didi argued over the best way to carve the turkey.
“You’re quiet.”
Astra’s voice was low and close to my ear, sending another ripple of arousal through me. Two words shouldn’t turn me on so much.
It’d been too long since I’d gotten laid.
Turning my head, I found her leaning over so that her arm brushed against mine.
Don’t look at her mouth. Don’t look at her mouth.
It took a solid effort, but I managed it. “I’m not much for small talk, as a rule.”
A slow smile curved her lips.
“I’m all about small talk. Small talk. Big talk. Any kind of talk.” She settled back in her seat as a platter was passed her way.
Without thinking, I took it from her, my fingers grazing hers. “Allow me,” I said, ignoring the jolt caused by just that light touch. At this rate, I was going to have a fucking heart attack by dessert.
She sent me a look from under her lashes as she took the serving fork and helped herself to some of the turkey.
“Do you want white or dark meat?” she asked.
“Ah…I don’t care. I like both.”
She took her time selecting some of each, drawing out the time I was facing her before I could pass the plate on.
We ended up repeating the process with every plate, every bowl, and by the time we were done, our plates were loaded down with Thanksgiving deliciousness, and I was trying to understand just how serving food and passing plates could feel so intimate.
I didn’t want to feel that for her, for anyone. I needed to find someone to fuck, and then it wouldn’t be like this around her. She was just new and attractive, catching me at a time when I needed a sexual outlet. That was all it was.
Just don’t look at her, I reminded myself.
Just don’t look.
“I’m sorry,” Piety said, smothering a yawn behind her hand. “This baby-making business is more exhausting than anything I’ve ever done.”
She stood by the door while Kaleb held up the light jacket she’d worn, helping her slip it on. The way they looked at each other was almost painful to watch. I’d heard a bit of their story via office gossip over the past week, and seeing them together made me believe all of it. These were two people who would do anything for each other.
“Go on,” Astra said, flapping a hand at her. “I was planning on taking a cab anyway. You’re in the opposite direction of my hotel. Go, sleep. Tell Camry I hope she’s feeling better.”
Apparently, Kaleb’s younger sister had also moved to California with them, but she would be starting college in the spring semester. She’d been invited today too but had come down with a stomach flu yesterday. She was feeling a bit better today, but not enough to be out in public.
As Piety and Kaleb closed the door behind them, I looked over at Astra. “Why are you at a hotel?”
She gave me a sideways smile. “I’m still trying to find a place to stay. Piety and Kaleb have a place, but I can’t stay with them. I mean, they offered, but…newlyweds? No.” She ran her fingers through her curls as she laughed. “They can’t be around each other more than a minute without getting moon-eyed and going all kissy-face.”
“Kissy-face?”
“Yes. Kind of like…” She gestured toward Didi and Christal as they leaned toward each other, lost in a conversation that mattered only to them.
Ah. Kissy-face. I could understand not wanting to be around that all the time.
Astra sighed. “I guess I should call that cab.”
“I’ll drive you.”
I didn’t know what madness prompted me, but the words were out there now, and I couldn’t take them back without looking like an ass. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to take them back anyway. I checked my watch before looking at her. “It’d take a cab a bit to get out here anyway. Especially on a holiday.”
She hesitated, but one look at Didi and Christal had her nodding. “Sounds like a plan.”
“Are you two leaving?” Didi asked, just now realizing what was going on.
“Yes,” Astra answered for both of us, moving to hug Didi as though they’d been friends for life. “Dashiell here is saving me the trouble of calling a cab by driving me himself. You don’t mind, do you?”
Didi looked at me, then back at Astra. “Of course not.” There was speculation in her eyes, but before she could push for anything, I took Astra’s arm.
I was being stupid, I knew. I was way too attracted to her. She worked for me.
For fuck’s sake, we’d just had an entire forty-five-minute seminar on the company’s sexual harassment policy.
But I was going to be stupid anyway.
I didn’t need to see the confirmation in my best friend’s eyes.
We pulled up in front of the hotel, an awkward silence falling after the bright, easy chatter that had filled the drive since we’d left Didi’s. Granted, the chatter had all been on Astra’s part. She was like a magpie, bouncing from one thing to the next in some verbal gymnastics that left my mind reeling as I tried to keep up. It’d been a long time since anyone had challenged me like that, and I found myself attracted to her in a way that had little to do with looks alone. She wasn’t some snobby intellectual who thought that conversations had to be deep and philosophical to matter. With Astra, it was all about whatever came into her head at any given moment.
But now she was quiet.
“This is a nice hotel,” I said.
“Yes. It’s very nice,” she agreed.
She hadn’t gotten out. What was she waiting–
Shit.
I got out and moved around the car to open the door for her at the same time she started to climb out.
We both ended up standing outside the passenger door, only i
nches apart, staring at each other. She tugged at her dress, smoothing it out, and revealing a bit more cleavage at the same time. Unable to stop myself, my eyes dropped to the soft swells of her breasts.
Fuck.
“I…um…” Her hand fell to the side, and she shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
I reached up and ran my finger from her shoulder down to her neckline, not quite going low enough to touch her breasts but definitely beyond a platonic gesture. Slowly, I lifted my gaze to hers.
She was staring at me with wide, hungry eyes, the intensity of my own desire matched with hers.
Fuck it.
I reached for her, and she moved toward me at the same time.
Our mouths came together in a hot, bruising kiss.
She moaned softly, and I took advantage of her parted lips, sliding my tongue into her mouth. Shoving my fingers into the tumble of her hair, I tipped her head back and deepened the kiss, exploring, taking.
Claiming.
16
Astra
Shit.
He was kissing me.
His mouth was on mine, his tongue twisting and sliding and tangling with mine while one hand fisted in my hair, putting a not-unpleasant pressure on my scalp that was just this side of painful.
This was really happening.
I’d been aching to feel his mouth on mine again for almost a month, and now it was real. And it was so much better than I remembered.
I needed to make him stop.
We weren’t two strangers sharing an impulsive kiss in a quiet room at a Halloween party anymore.
We worked together.
But since when did I do smart?
I wanted him, and he clearly wanted me. And I’d have been lying if I said I hadn’t been thinking about what would’ve happened if I’d taken things further on Halloween.
“Come up to my room.” I tore my mouth away from his long enough to whisper the invitation, then brushed my lips against his.
He went still, lifting his head so he could meet my eyes. Brushing my hair back from my face, he asked softly, “Are you sure?”