My phone buzzed, and I reached for it, checking the message as Sean continued to speak. I tapped back a response to Piety while still listening to Sean’s suggestions about what Gianna could work on.
Lunch away from here and away from Gianna would be a dream. Piety and I had been so busy that we hadn’t had time to really sit down and talk, just the two of us, since we moved here.
And I wouldn’t have to look for Dash non-stop if I wasn’t here in the building.
“Is Kaleb having any luck finding a place to set up shop?”
Piety made a face. “Everything is already so crowded in LA. He was getting frustrated, but I think he might have struck pay dirt yesterday. He was in this one guy’s shop that’s been around forever, and the locals love it. The owner’s been talking about retiring for a while, but he didn’t want to sell the shop to somebody who’d turn it into a coffee or gift shop.”
“Since there aren’t enough of those here.” I grinned at her.
“One on every corner.” She toasted me with her glass of water. “Anyway, they got to talking, and they might be looking into Kaleb working there a few weeks to see how it goes. If everything works out okay, he’ll go in for half of the shop, and the two of them will be co-owners for a while. Let Kaleb get a feel of things, the customers and all. Then buy the whole thing within a year or so.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” I nodded. “Comes loaded with an existing customer base.”
“Exactly.” She grabbed what remained of her burger and took a huge bite, humming in delight. “Man, this is so good. I don’t get enough red meat anymore.”
I poked at the salad I ordered, my appetite the same as it had been since Thanksgiving. Nonexistent.
“Now, are you going to tell me what’s up with you?”
Glancing at Piety, I shrugged. “Nothing. Why?”
“You can’t lie worth shit, Astra, you know that.” She took another sip of water, watching me with level eyes. “Something’s been eating you the past couple of days. You’re too quiet. You don’t do quiet unless something is wrong. So, what is it?”
“Nothing!” Stabbing a piece of chicken with my fork, I shoved it into my mouth. It was dry, and I had to drain my soft drink just to feel like it wasn’t still wedged in my throat. “I mean, I’ve got this new job, and I’ve never done anything like it before. That Gianna is a total bitch. I still think about Jamie every other minute and…” I couldn’t do it. Dropping my fork, I covered my face with my hands. “Piety, I slept with Dash.”
There was absolutely no response from across the table.
Peering at her through my fingers, I said, “Say something.”
Her mouth was still open in shock. She snapped it shut and cleared her throat. “Well.” She took a drink of water and cleared her throat again. “Well. That’s…interesting.”
“Interesting?” I demanded. “That’s all you can say?”
“Was he any good?”
For a second, I just stared at her. Then I started to laugh. “Oh, shit. What in the hell is the matter with me, PS?”
“Well, judging by the way you’re acting, and by the look on your face…I’m going to say he fucked your brains out.” She shrugged and picked up her burger again. “Why don’t you tell me about it?”
“Pervert.” Sighing, I leaned back in my seat and stared off at nothing. “It happened on Thanksgiving after he took me back to my hotel. And I haven’t seen him since. It’s like…” I stabbed a tomato. “I almost feel like he’s avoiding me.”
Mouth full, Piety didn’t answer right away, but she managed to give me a commiserating look. Once she swallowed her last bite, she reached for her napkin. “Awkward morning after?”
“Worse.” Glumly, I told her about how the night ended. “Now, I’m wondering if I misread things, and if I did…well, it’s like I kicked him out.”
She reached over and squeezed my hand. “I guess you’ll have to hunt him down and talk to him.”
“No.” Shaking my head, I tugged my hand away. “That will just make it more awkward.”
“And avoiding him helps how?”
Dammit. She was right. Avoiding Dash wasn’t doing me any good.
I really hated it when she was right.
18
Dash
Nearly a whole week.
One long, miserable week.
I spent most of it dealing with more paperwork, making phone calls, taking phone calls…things I’d thought I was done with when I’d gotten the go-ahead.
The past few days made me realize just how much work it would take if I wanted to stay involved now that things were actually starting. It would have been easier to stand in the shadows while other people took the reins.
But it wouldn’t have been enough for me.
However, right now, being in here every day, wondering when I’d end up stepping out into the hall and running into Astra was proving to be a pain in the ass, and all I wanted to do was work from home.
Work from the coffee shop down the street.
Work from anywhere but here so I wouldn’t see her. So I couldn’t see her.
I’d been avoiding her since the moment I left her hotel room, but sooner or later my luck would run out, and I knew it.
I wasn’t sure how I’d handle seeing her after the awkward way things ended. Plus, I didn’t want to see her. She couldn’t be quiet for a minute. Couldn’t be still for a minute. She had a way of interjecting her opinions in everything.
Granted, she seemed to know a little bit about everything and that sure as hell didn’t help. Because it was hard to be pissed off when she kept offering useful insight.
It was annoying.
She was annoying.
And I kept dreaming about her.
Tasting her. Feeling her soft skin under my hands, her hair sliding through my fingers. She was soft and strong, and her laugh had a way of brightening up in an entire room.
Shit.
Eying the clock, I tried to decide whether it was safe to risk going to the break room for some coffee. I had a pounding head due to a lack of coffee over the past few days, and the giant cup I’d picked up at the local gas station wasn’t doing much to keep the edge off. I needed to put a coffee pot in my office. Otherwise, the headaches would just keep on coming. I’d gotten too used to caffeine in college, and now I was suffering for it because I wasn’t willing to risk going into the breakroom and running into her.
“Come in,” I said when a knock sounded at the door a few minutes later. I needed the distraction. And maybe I could convince whoever it was that I really needed some coffee.
“Hey, you!”
Didi came inside, shutting the door behind her. A bright smile lit her face as she moved farther into the room. Once she reached the middle, she did a slow circle. After she’d completed the circle, she clapped her hands in front of herself. “This looks amazing. The whole damn thing looks amazing. You did a fantastic job.”
“Thanks.” Getting up from behind my desk, I went over to her and dropped a quick kiss on her cheek. “What brings you out here?”
“I wanted to see if we could get lunch.” She hooked her arm through mine. “You’ve finally got this place up and going–”
“It’s not up and going yet.” I shook my head. “We’ve got employees. There’s still training to do. We’ve got to start spreading the word about the clinic. Actively advertising. Reaching out to the doctors in the area and letting them know that we’re almost ready to start taking patients.”
“That’s easy compared to everything else you’ve already done.” She continued to smile at me. “Come on. Let’s go to lunch. You need to find some time to relax, or you’re going to burn yourself out. You need to eat.”
And have coffee…
Lunch out sounded like a great idea.
“I love the paninis here.” Didi stared at the menu, lips pursed. “But you know, their burgers are amazing too.”
“You can always eat both,” I suggest
ed.
“Yeah, like I can afford to do that. It would go straight to my hips.” Didi rolled her eyes.
“And Christal would love it,” I said as I shot her a sideways look. I shook my head at the face she made, but before I could respond, I caught a familiar sound.
A laugh.
One that had a way of brightening up an entire room.
“Shit,” I muttered. Without thinking, I looked over, following the sound of that laugh.
And there she was.
Didi knew me too well. She saw something on my face, read something in my body language…something that had allowed her to follow where my attention had gone.
“You think she’s cute.”
“I think she’s annoying,” I corrected, fighting to keep my voice calm.
“Yeah, I can see that.” Her words were so dry that there was no doubt as to the extent of her sarcasm.
Looking away, I reached for my coffee and took another long gulp. I put it down, but feeling Didi’s gaze, I ended up lifting the cup and drinking more just to have something to do with my hands. “Would you quit staring at me? You’re making me feel like I’m on display,” I said, shooting her a quick look.
“I’m just wondering why you won’t look at me now. I mean, so what, you like her…” Then Didi laughed, that big, full laugh that would turn into a snort if she kept at it too long. “Son of a bitch. It’s more than that. You slept with her!”
“Would you be quiet!” I snapped, not realizing that I was being louder than her. And of course, she called me on it.
“You first.” She gestured to the people around us.
They were discreetly going back to their meal, but there was no denying they’d glanced up.
And…Astra had seen us.
Our eyes connected, and for a long, lingering moment, she couldn’t seem to look away any more than I could.
“Shit.” Didi’s voice softened. “I’m thinking this might have been more than sex.”
That broke the connection because I had to look at Didi when I responded, or she’d never believe me. “It was one night. That’s it. We both had an itch. And maybe too much wine.”
“And that explains the moment the two of you just had? I mean, that sort of gaze across the room is something out of a romance novel.” Didi had a smug look on her face.
That irritated me almost as much as seeing Astra here did.
Of course, it wasn’t really seeing Astra so much as it was not being able to go over there, talk to her, touch her…
“Dammit,” I muttered. Leaning back in the chair, I pinched the bridge of my nose. My headache was back, and it had nothing to do with caffeine.
“If you want my opinion, I think you’ve developed a bit of an obsession,” Didi said.
Before I could respond, a server appeared at the table to take our order. I had no idea what I wanted, so while Didi placed hers, I grabbed the menu and ordered the first thing that caught my eye. I’d eat pretty much anything.
Once the server retreated, I glared at Didi. “Can’t you just let it go?”
“No.” She shrugged. “I can’t. And you know why?”
“Because you’re a nosy brat who can’t mind her own business?” The words were sharp, but I knew she’d handle them just fine.
“Ha, ha. No, besides that.” She leaned forward, her face serious now. “It’s been two years, Dash, and she’s the first woman I’ve seen you look at for longer than a minute. For all I know, she’s the first woman you’ve had sex with since…” She hesitated, then shrugged. “That’s not even the point. Sex can mean everything, and it can mean nothing. The thing is…you’ve noticed her.”
I wanted to argue.
But I couldn’t.
Yeah, I noticed Astra. I’d noticed her from the second I saw her standing by that desk in her bra and panties. Noticed that she was a fucking gorgeous mermaid.
“I don’t have time for this, Didi,” I said, deciding to go with that instead of responding to her comment. “There’s too much going on in my life.”
Didi lifted a shoulder, her features softening. “If you don’t make time for it now, when you’ve actually got somebody you’re attracted to, when will you ever have time?”
The server returned to put a basket of bread on the table, and we lapsed into silence. I ate and fought not to let myself look over at Astra.
“I hope this heavy, thoughtful silence is because you’re thinking about what I said.” Didi finally broke the silence, her attempt at levity weakened by the hesitancy in her voice.
I’d been thinking, yes. About Astra. About how I hadn’t so much as seen her this week. Sure, I’d been avoiding her, but it wasn’t like she’d gone searching for me either. And she’d made it clear that she didn’t want me hanging around her place after we finished.
What was the point?
“I’ve got other things in my life I need to focus on, Didi.”
“Yeah, like punishing yourself over Layla.”
Jerking my head up, I stared at her. “Don’t,” I snapped.
I didn’t want to talk about her.
Didi didn’t look away though, which had always been her way with me. She called me on my shit, whether I liked it or not.
“You can’t spend the rest of your life miserable because she’s gone.”
“I’m not miserable,” I said, and I meant it. Six months ago, a year ago, it would have been different, but I had a focus now. The clinic had been a lifeline when I first started playing with the idea a few months after Layla died, but the more involved I’d gotten, the easier it was to pull myself out of the hole I’d been in. The closer we got to being done, the better I felt, to the point where I’d actually started not hating life. So, I could honestly say I wasn’t miserable.
“Maybe you’re not,” Didi conceded softly. “But you’re not completely happy either. I know you too well, Dash. I know you when you’re happy. I know you when you’re mad, when you’re hurting, when you’re just barely clinging. Right now, you’re…existing.”
Our meals came out, and I started to eat mechanically, wishing I’d never agreed to come with Didi. I didn’t need any more psychoanalyzing than I’d already had.
But she wasn’t done.
Not even a few minutes had passed before she tried again.
“Do you really think Layla would want you to keep punishing yourself like this?”
I tossed the rest of my sandwich back on my plate and reached into my wallet for some cash. “I need to use the restroom before we go.”
“Dash–”
“It’s okay. I’m fine. Finish up your lunch.”
Shoving back from the table, I started for the restroom, refusing to let myself look over at Astra.
I didn’t have to bother on the way back out.
She was gone.
19
Astra
The avoidance game continued.
I didn’t know how we were managing it, but so far, Dash and I had managed to go a week and a half with barely any contact. We’d been forced to sit through an interdepartmental meeting that morning while everybody touched base and gave a brief progress report. We’d sat on opposite sides of the table, him at the head, me at the far end where I couldn’t see him unless I leaned out and looked.
I didn’t lean out, even though it took more self-control than I realized I had. It didn’t help that every time he spoke, I felt the echo of it deep inside. With each moment that passed, I wanted to get up and go to him, shake him, ask him why he was avoiding me.
But that would be stupid because I was doing the exact same thing. Well, sort of. I’d gone out of my way to make sure our paths didn’t cross. I hadn’t, however, flat out ignored him like he’d done when we ended up at the same restaurant last week. We’d both seen each other, but he pulled a cold shoulder routine and looked away just as I’d gone to wave at him.
I told myself that was good. Really. If he didn’t want to see or talk to me, then it was easier to not t
alk to him too. Since that seemed to be the way the game was being played, I stopped hiding in my office and fed my caffeine addiction as needed. It had been even more necessary and dire lately, because I wasn’t sleeping worth shit.
I told myself it was because I never truly slept well in hotels and not because every time I closed my eyes, I felt him above me, inside me. I needed to find a place to stay, and soon. I preferred a rental since I didn’t want to commit to the West Coast just yet, but I never seemed to get very far.
When I inevitably found myself awake a good hour earlier than needed, I’d spend that hour online, crawling realtor sites and trying to find someplace that wasn’t too over the top for one person, or too small for me. I was picky as hell. I wouldn’t be easily satisfied, even if I wasn’t yet certain I wanted to make this my home.
“I hope you’re brewing another pot.”
I looked up at the sound of the voice and smiled at the sandy-haired man standing in the doorway. Glancing at the empty coffee pot, I nodded. “Somebody pulled a party foul. Took the last cup and didn’t start a new pot. Heathens.”
He grinned, displaying deep grooves in his cheeks as he came forward. His light blue eyes sparkled, making him look younger than the mid-twenties I took him to be.
“You’re Astra, right? With HR?”
“Yes.” I smiled back at him. “I don’t think I caught your name…?”
“It’s Turk. Turk Bryne. I’m in administration.”
Clicking my tongue, I said, “One of the paper pushers. Have to stay on your good side so you don’t lose my check, right?”
He laughed. “Payroll is so automated anymore, I don’t even know why we’re needed half the time.” He gave a faux grimace and looked around. “Don’t tell anybody I said that.”