Sariana stared at him in openmouthed amazement. “You mean you go through that every time you make love to a woman?”
“Of course not,” he said impatiently. “Haven’t you been listening? It’s only like that between a Shield and his Shieldmate. It doesn’t happen with other women. And from what I’ve been told, it isn’t supposed to be that bad between a Shield and his lady, either. What happened between us was very strong, Sariana. I’m not sure I understand all of it even though I’ve thought about it a lot since then. But I’m sure we can control it.”
“Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you have been to bed with other women but it’s never been like that with any of them?”
He smiled slightly. “I told you, you’re my Shieldmate. There’s been no other for me. I’ve never been married before. A Shield can’t link with just any female, you see. Given several thousand women to choose from, a man would be very lucky to find even a few who had the potential of linking with a Shield. And even then there are likely to be other complications.”
“Such as?” She couldn’t believe she was hearing this, but Sariana couldn’t bring herself to believe Gryph was lying, either. One thing was certain: He believed what he was saying. Westerners loved legends.
“Such as the fact that the woman in question might not be interested in going to bed with a Shield. Or she might be past childbearing age. Or she might already be married to a man from her own class in which case the Pact forbids the Shield from approaching her.” Gryph’s smile twisted wryly. “The First Generation colonists drove a shrewd bargain.”
Sariana seized on the one point that applied to her. “You mean if the woman doesn’t want to marry the Shield she’s free to say no?”
“You weren’t listening. As usual. For a bright woman, Sariana, you have an odd tendency to hear only what you want to hear. I said the woman is free to choose whether or not she wants to go to bed with the Shield. Once she’s been to bed with him, she’s married. Unless, for some reason, the link didn’t work.” His eyes grew very brilliant. “But there is no question of that in our case. We are linked, Sariana. One of these days you’ll admit it to yourself and to me.”
She instinctively took a step backward, even though he hadn’t moved. “Why is it so important to…to link with a woman? You admitted you don’t need to be linked in order to have a sexual relationship.”
“There are two reasons why a Shield searches very hard for a woman with whom he can link,” Gryph said evenly. “The first is that he cannot father a child with any woman except a true Shieldmate. All other unions are sterile. And even with a Shieldmate, he can only produce sons. No Shield has ever fathered a daughter. The future of every Shield clan is dependent on the sons finding mates among the descendants of the colonists of The Serendipity.”
Sariana stared at him. “You’re telling me the legend is true? Your class was not among those on board The Serendipity?”
Gryph lifted his head proudly. “My people were conveniently on hand when the lightstorm took The Serendipity. Without my ancestors, everyone on that ship would have died. We saved them. We saved them a second time on the ground. Someday I’ll tell you the whole story. The important point is that the colonists repaid the Shields by negotiating the Pact. It binds us into their social system.”
“This is all just a legend. A wild tale concocted by the people of the western provinces. I know it is.”
“You know I’m not lying to you, Sariana. Look at me. I have never lied to you.”
For a moment she was trapped by the truth in his eyes. She struggled to resist and became frantic when she could not. Without a word she spun around, seeking escape.
“Sariana.”
She stopped but did not turn back to face him. She did not dare.
“You haven’t heard the second reason why a Shield will go to any length to find a mate,” Gryph said.
“What’s the second reason?” But silently she was thinking that she did not want to hear it. The answer was already in her head. It had appeared there as if by magic.
“The second reason is that if he does not find a mate, a Shield will face a kind of loneliness no one else can even begin to comprehend. He’ll know he has missed the special communication that comes through linking with a woman. He’ll face it all the days of his life and when that life is over he will also face the knowledge that he has left nothing of himself to the future. Now do you see why I can’t let you go, Sariana?”
Chapter
10
SEVERAL hours later Sariana lay alone in the large ship’s bunk. She was wide awake and very thoughtful. It had been a long while since she had shared an early dinner with Gryph and the handful of other passengers on board the windrigger. She had retired to the cabin prepared to stage a determined battle when her so-called husband came to claim his marital rights.
But, as usual, Gryph had proven unpredictable. He had not come back to the cabin after dinner. It was almost midnight.
Sariana gave up trying to sleep and sat up against the pillows. A pale wash of moonlight bathed the cabin in a gentle glow. By western standards the room was quite restrained. Of course, she reflected half humorously, that still left a lot of leeway for artistic license. Some ship’s designer had taken advantage of that leeway.
The cabinetry was beautifully finished with fine metal fittings and precision carving. The elaborately detailed bed on which she sat was solidly anchored to the deck, unlike most beds on shore. Presumably a suspended bed had been deemed too dangerous for shipboard use. There was a multi-paned window behind the bed through which the moonlight shone in a series of intricate prisms.
Prisms.
Sariana shied from the image. It reminded her of prisma crystal and the lock on her husband’s weapon kit.
Damn it, he was not her husband, Sariana told herself for what must have been the millionth time.
Unfortunately local law and custom disagreed with her. Sariana was finally convinced that the only way out of the situation was to leave the western provinces and return to the eastern continent.
But she couldn’t do that just yet. Her future in the east at this point was bleaker than the one she faced in the west. Her mouth curved faintly at the thought that at least here life held a certain amount of adventure and excitement. She would find neither at home.
Sariana swore softly and climbed out of bed. The fact that she could find something positive about such things as adventure and excitement was probably a sign that she had already been living in the west too long. It reminded her uncomfortably of how she had felt when Etion Rakken had made his businesslike marriage proposal. She had found herself thinking it would have been nice to have had a declaration of love and passion thrown in on the side. That had been a very western thought, too. No easterner in his right mind would have worried about the role of love and passion in a marriage that had everything else going for it.
Well, she had gotten a clear demonstration of passion, at least, from the man who had married her. Whatever else had happened on her wedding night, there had certainly been an element of passion involved. Gryph had wanted her with an intensity that had burned its way right into her soul. She had been vibrating with the aftershocks ever since she had left his bed.
This morning he had saved her life.
Tonight he had not tried to press his claim on her, even though he genuinely believed he was married to her.
Gryph Chassyn believed a lot of strange things, Sariana reflected. But, so did the other inhabitants of the western provinces. Their First Generation legends had taken some weird twists and turns. Which was understandable when one considered that The Serendipity had carried a whole class of storytellers and dramatists.
Sariana found her traveling cloak and slipped it around her shoulders. As long as she kept the front closed no one would know she was wearing only her sleeping chemise underneath. She stepped
into her slippers.
At the cabin door she stopped, questioning her own actions. Then she opened the door and stepped into the corridor. There were things that had to be settled tonight. She had been floundering in a morass of emotions for far too long. The rule to follow when one found oneself in an untenable situation was to negotiate.
The scarlet-toe, nestled for the night on a glove Sariana had left on a nearby table, hissed questioningly. “Go back to sleep,” Sariana told it. “I’ll be back soon. I am finally thinking clearly again.”
Gryph sensed her presence a second or two before he caught the sweep of her cloak out of the corner of his eye. He had been leaning against the rail, nursing a mug of ale and hoping the sea breeze would calm his restless, hungry senses to a point where he could sleep. Whatever progress he might have been making was undone completely, when he realized Sariana had come looking for him.
He held the mug in both hands, his forearms resting on the railing, and turned his head to look at her. In the moonlight she looked very beautiful and infinitely compelling. The hood of the cloak framed her face, giving her a hint of feminine mystery. In the shadows he could see the mixture of caution and determination in her huge eyes. A few tantalizing tendrils of her unbound hair had escaped the confines of the hood. The long folds of the garment drifted around her slender figure, revealing even while concealing.
This was his wife, he told himself as he studied her in the moonlight. This was his Shieldmate, whether she knew it yet or not. The realization still had the power to daze him. He wanted to reach out and take hold of her to ensure himself that she was real and solid. He restrained himself with difficulty.
She had sought him out of her own accord tonight. He would take that as a hopeful indication that she was beginning to accept the situation. He did not know all that much about women, but he decided this was probably not the moment to push her. He had been telling himself that bit of wisdom since dinner, though his body had raged against the decision. She deserved some time to herself, Gryph had determined. By the Lightstorm, she had been through a lot today. His stomach still twisted into a cold knot whenever he thought of her on the docks.
“The luck of the evening to you, Sariana,” he said formally. He was afraid he’d send her running back to the cabin if he tried any other greeting. A kiss, for example. She’d probably turn and flee if he tried to kiss her. His hands tightened around the mug.
“And to you, Shield.” She inclined her head regally.
Gryph’s mouth twisted. She hadn’t called him husband. She hadn’t even called him by his name. She had addressed him by his social designation which was about as formal as a woman could get. “Can’t you sleep?”
“No.”
He nodded. “That’s understandable, considering what you went through this morning.”
“My life here has been one surprise after another.”
He heard the dry note in her voice as she stood beside him at the rail and he felt a flicker of sympathetic amusement. “You adjust well, for the most part. We’ll make a true westerner out of you yet.”
“I thought your goal was to turn me into a true Shieldmate.”
“You already are a true Shieldmate.” He couldn’t resist catching a tendril of her loose hair between two fingers. Its silkiness fascinated him. He looked down into her eyes. “I knew that for certain the night you came to my bed. You proved it again this morning when you saved yourself from the man who followed you into the warehouse. A woman who can link with a Shield is strong in many ways.”
She searched his face for a long moment. Gryph wondered what she was thinking. He knew that he would be able to sense certain strong emotions from her at times of stress or passion, but the link between them was not true telepathy. They wouldn’t be able to read each other’s minds, although gradually, over time, they would become more aware of each other’s thoughts. A few Shields and their mates who had been linked for years could almost read each other’s minds at times. But that kind of communication took many years to forge and it was certainly not unique to Shields. Gryph had known other couples who had lived together for years who seemed able to second guess each other.
Nevertheless, there was something quite unique about the bonding that took place between a Shield and his mate. That bonding was at its strongest when there was an accompanying emotional intensity.
In other words, the link was at its most intense when they were in the grip of passion or danger. Gryph preferred the grip of passion. He recoiled at the idea of Sariana in danger.
“I did not come out here to discuss the strange customs and legends that lead you and people such as the Avylyns to assume I’m married to you,” Sariana said quietly.
“Then why did you seek me out tonight, Sariana?”
She looked out over the moonlit sea. “I’ve finally had a chance to calm down and think.”
He smiled faintly. “Translated, that means you’ve found a way to convince yourself you can turn the situation to your own advantage. I admire your resilience, Sariana. No matter how bad things get, you always manage to come out fighting. Tell me what you’ve been thinking. You have a way with logic that leaves a poor, humble male breathless.”
His sarcasm annoyed her, but she ignored it. “I was educated to be practical and efficient in my thinking and decision making. For the past two days I have not been applying the benefits of that education. Instead I have been leaping irrationally from one emotional peak to another. It’s a waste of energy, time and intelligence to operate in that manner. Tonight I’ve decided to take control of my own life again. I’m intelligent enough to know that, while I cannot always dictate the events of that life, I can certainly decide how I’ll deal with those events.”
“Ah, Sariana, I knew it. You do not disappoint me. Once again you are busy building a fortress made out of words.”
“I am trying to deal rationally with an irrational situation,” she retorted. “I’ve come to some conclusions and I have decided to offer you a working truce.”
“We’re not at war,” he pointed out, curious in spite of himself.
“That’s a matter of opinion, but never mind. My offer of a truce still stands.”
“Why do we need this truce?”
“Because we both want the same thing. We want to find the prisma cutter. After the violence that has taken place, I’m inclined to believe that getting it back will be a far more dangerous task than I originally anticipated. Going to the guards is out because you and the Avylyns will not back me up. I would look like a crazy easterner making wild claims about a theft that everyone else would deny.”
Gryph lifted one shoulder. “True.”
“I want to get that cutter back as badly as you do. A great deal of my future success is tied to completing my contract with the Avylyns. They have convinced me that, as ridiculous as it seems and no matter how effectively I manage their business affairs, they cannot retain their preeminence in their social class without that tool.”
“They’re right.”
“Very well, I accept the facts of the situation. The social and business position of the Avylyn Clan must be salvaged if I am to salvage my own future. That means the cutter must be retrieved. It is equally clear now that there is danger involved in getting it back. You’re a man who is supposedly trained and equipped to handle danger. I’m a businesswoman, not a skilled fighter. I need your particular talents in this search and you have implied you are willing to help me retrieve the cutter, although I do not as yet understand your sudden insistence on completing the task.”
“I think I’m beginning to see where your logic has led you, Sariana. You’re an amazing creature.”
“Therefore,” Sariana pressed on vigorously, “as we share a common goal and are both committed to it, I see no reason why we shouldn’t work together as two rational human beings.”
“This is what you mean by a
truce?” Gryph asked thoughtfully.
She turned to face him squarely, her eyes more mysterious than ever in the shadow of the hood. “Yes.”
“What about my claim on you?” he asked bluntly.
She drew a deep breath, as if she were preparing to throw herself into the sea for a late night swim. “We will discuss that when we return to Serendipity with the cutter.”
Gryph laughed. “It’s all clear to me now. We will sidestep that issue while we’re searching for the cutter. You’ll pretend you aren’t married to me and I will be gentlemanly enough not to bring up the subject. Once we’re back in Serendipity with the cutter, you figure you’ll be able to hop a rigger and return to the eastern provinces covered in glory. There you think you will be safe from western laws and customs, right?”
“As I said,” Sariana stated demurely, “we can discuss the final resolution to our personal business when the cutter is safely back in Avylyn hands.”
Gryph shook his head, still grinning. “And just what do you propose we do in the meantime?”
She tilted her head questioningly. “About what?”
The last of his amusement faded. “About that single bunk in our cabin. About the fact that I want you more than I want my next breath. About your curiosity to find out if there really is more to passion than a thousand screaming nerve endings.”
“I am no longer particularly curious about such matters!”
“Sure you are. You’re intelligent and you’re educated and you know damn well that there must be more to sex than what you found the other night.”
She looked up at him, not trying to deny such an obvious truth. “I think it would be better if I satisfied my curiosity with another man,” she said seriously.